Loop 5 - Part 24

"Well done, Patrasche! You're the best!"

Patrasche squealed happily at my praise. She deserved it for being such a good girl.

"I'll make sure you're fed premium food for—ugh!"

A sharp blow made me wince in pain. I turned around to identify my attacker.

"Rem?"

"Don't risk your life like that again!"

The tears that lingered in Rem's eyes were like a slap in the face.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologize! Just listen to what I'm saying for once!"

Well, in the absence of a mother in this world, I had my partner scolding me for being reckless. She was a substitute who balanced things out.

Still, it seemed ironic to me that I was being asked to be careful with my life now that I could die multiple times and go back and remake history.

What's next? Become impotent and then be given a sex slave right after?

"Okay. I promise I won't do anything stupid like that after today."

I gave her a thumbs up, but she just gave me an annoyed look.

"You're trying to cheat, it's obvious."

"You caught me." I admitted, shrugging. "Well, it can't be helped! We still have to fight a sect of lunatics."

"Yes, that's true."

Someone coughed behind us. It was Crusch, who was looking at us with a smile.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Absolutely." I agreed.

"Absolutely not, Lady Crusch."

Rem corrected me and bowed to her.

"Let me look good, at least..."

I grimaced and turned my full attention to the Duchess.

"Can I have a moment to talk to you privately?" Crusch asked.

"No problem." I started to follow her, but a certain dragon tried to come with me, and I had to stop her. "You heard her, Patrasche. There are no exceptions."

I held back my laughter so as not to give myself away. It was funny to see Rem slapping her forehead at my stupidity.

Thinking about it, I think there's a pattern here. Am I so bad at interacting with women that the only way I can think of to get their attention is by being a clown?

Well, I can rethink my existence later. There are more pressing matters at the moment.

"This is fine." She said.

We stopped in a relatively secluded spot.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Today I have contracted a debt with you. If it weren't for you, who knows if we would have been able to defeat the White Whale, much less with any casualties."

Based on my memories of a What If, that would have gone very wrong, but I shouldn't mention it.

"..."

I remained silent, looking at the horizon.

"We owe all of this to you. You're a hero."

"No, I'll never be like that." I denied with a bitter smile. "A hero solves disasters, not creates them."

"Even if you think so, you saved countless lives tonight. Many people have been spared a horror that weighed on their consciences, and it's thanks to what you did."

Crusch's smile expressed pure admiration and respect, something I couldn't remember seeing in anyone who had ever looked at me before.

I didn't deserve to enjoy it, but I rejoiced in the feeling of greatness and accomplishment.

"It's very flattering to be seen that way by someone as amazing as you."

"I could tell you the same. In fact, it would be great to have you on my team."

"Believe me, I'd love to, but I have to follow the path I chose."

She grimaced in defeat, but her cheerful attitude never wavered.

"I was afraid you'd say that. That's a shame." She sighed. "However, if you ever change your mind..."

"Lady Crusch! So you were here!" Felix came running to interrupt the awkward situation. "Oh, am I interrupting something?"

The question was not polite, as was evident in Felix's irritated tone, as he looked at me antagonistically.

"No." We both answered in unison.

"That was suspiciously timed nya!"

"Stop being paranoid, Felix." I clicked my tongue. "Your lovely lady and I are just talking business."

Crusch coughed to resume the conversation.

"Anyway. I want to tell you that from now on, I will always treat you as a comrade or ally, and I will try to be on good terms with Emilia's camp. Also, I'd like to give you a reward that reflects my gratitude for today."

"Can I choose?"

"As long as it's not something evil or involves my resignation from the royal team, go ahead."

"So..."

I knelt on the ground and took his hand.

"Marry me, Crusch Karsten."

Felix immediately exploded and jumped on me.

"Damn ruffian! I knew you had those intentions!"

"Hey, wait, don't scratch my face!" I struggled to shake him off. "Man, don't you know a joke when you see one?"

"You never know with you!"

I sighed in annoyance, resenting the burning sensation in my cheeks. Next time that jerk pisses me off, he's going to end up scratching my back, if you know what I mean.

Oh no, my mind's doing weird things again. I'm straight! No smut with men, except Reinhard!

"Don't worry, I won't try to steal your lady." I reassured Felix. "It would be a waste to make her a widow so young."

"What the hell does that mean?" He raised an eyebrow.

It means she'd see her husband die, isn't that obvious? Even if I can come back from the dead without anyone remembering, it's still very cruel to do that to someone who's already lost the man she liked.

"Forget it." I patted Felix on the shoulder and looked at Crusch. "On another note, do you think we can stick with today's itinerary?"

"Sure." She replied stiffly. "How many men do you need for your mission?"

"Everyone. You should come too."

"What?"

"Remember what I said about how good I am at predicting the future? Let's just say I have a strong feeling that an Archbishop of Gluttony will be very angry about his pet's death and will seek out those responsible to get even. So, I'm pretty sure he'll come that way."

I pointed to the path that led to the capital.

Crusch and Felix's expressions darkened.

"Gluttony? If he wants a fight, he'll have a fight. We don't back down from the enemy," Crusch declared firmly."

"The problem isn't him. There's a good chance he'll run into the Archbishop of Greed, and if they team up, we have no chance of winning."

Crusch sighed, thinking about what she knew about them.

"I see, Greed too, huh..."

"Yes, you know how dangerous that guy is. Listen to me, I know those archbishops very well, and I assure you that the best course of action is to avoid a premature confrontation."

In fact, it wouldn't be impossible to defeat Lye Batenkaitos, but Regulus Corneas was a different story. I didn't know the location of his wives, and I wasn't willing to kill them just to make him vulnerable.

"It's fine, Leandro. You've proven yourself more than trustworthy; I think I'd be ungrateful and arrogant if I refused to listen to you."

"About the whale, I imagine you intend to cut off its head and take it to the capital as proof of its death, right?"

"That's how it is."

"You can leave it for later. We should stay together to avoid an ambush. I also suggest traveling to Roswaal territory as soon as possible. You know, a terrorist attack still needs to be stopped."

***

A little while later, reinforcements arrived, the other half of the Steel Fangs. Julius led the group; we both smiled as our gaze met.

"It's been a while, huh!" I shook his hand cheerfully.

"Only a few days, which is considered a short time." Julius said, a twinkle in his eye. "That only makes it more amazing that you've accomplished an incredible series of feats since then. When we crossed swords, I knew there was potential in you, but I didn't expect it to be so much."

"You're giving me a lot of credit. Today was a collaborative effort."

"Even if you didn't kill the White Whale with your own hands, you're still the one who made this expedition possible."

I scratched the back of my neck, acting modest despite the pride I felt. In my far from humble or objective opinion, the White Whale speedrun wasn't bad at all. It would be ideal to defeat Petelgeuse with the same ease.

After a few minutes, the members of the subjugation army sat around me for a strategic meeting that I was in charge of.

After thinking a bit about what I would say, I spoke.

"First and foremost, I want to thank you for taking part in this expedition. I'm very happy that we've put an end to the terror posed by one of the three great mabeasts. I know you were expecting an extremely difficult battle, and while it's a relief to have zero casualties, it's a fact that everyone had mentally prepared for something very different from what they encountered tonight."

I got quite a few nods of confirmation. Some particularly violent or passionate soldiers had expressions of dissatisfaction.

"Since you've come to deal with such a powerful enemy, I'm sure none of you are tired. I even dare say that many of you are not satisfied, as warriors."

That was more of a shot in the dark, but to my surprise, there were several voices raised in enthusiasm.

"Yeah, I wanna kick some ass!"

"My sword needs to drink some blood!"

"I don't care, but my wife is furious with me and I still don't want to go home!"

Satisfied with the results of my bet, I raised my hands to ask for silence.

"For those who were still hungry for a fight, today's your lucky day. The reason we found the White Whale on this road is related to our next target! The Witch Cult is planning an attack on Mathers Domain! They had the beast in their path to ensure no one could stop them! But they didn't count on us messing with their plans! Next stop is Mathers Domain!"

"Wait, wait, how exactly are we going to do that? I mean, do you have a plan?"

Tivey, the small demi-human with a monocle, asked a very valid question.

"To sum up, I know they're preparing to invade the town adjacent to the mansion and the mansion itself. Their troops are hiding in the forest surrounding these two locations, and I suspect some of them are in this region as well, given the presence of the fog. The more distant groups may be reinforcements or keeping an eye out for outsiders who interfere with their plans. As for how we're going to defeat them, I'm simply going to draw them in with my presence; you've seen how the White Whale himself ignored everything else to come after me, so it'll work. Once they reveal their positions, we'll attack them with everything we have."

"So it's an ambush." Felix massaged his chin thoughtfully. "What about the townspeople and those in the mansion? I'm sure you won't let anything happen to Lady Emilia."

"You're not mistaken. With the help of Anastasia and Russell, I hired a group of traveling merchants to evacuate everyone in carriages (I'll pay them with Roswaal's money, muehhehe). I also had Rem write a letter reporting the situation. Can you get a messenger to send the letter to the mansion?"

"You can count on it!"

"Okay." I smiled nervously and looked at the others. "Listen guys, before we go, let me warn you about the power of the Archbishop and his reserve corps."

The next battle was presumably the last of this arc. Contrary to what it might seem, I wasn't at all worried about the possibility of failure. After all, I already knew how I was going to kill the Archbishop of Sloth.

***

Petelgeuse Romanée-Conti was very diligent, the most diligent of archbishops. His love was deep and twisted, bringing out the best in him to fulfill the mandates of the Gospel.

Until that day, he had never been cornered or overpowered on a mission. That day, the day of the trial, was to be no exception, as everything had gone just as he'd anticipated.

No errors, nothing beyond Sloth's precise calculations. At least that was the case until an anomaly appeared...

"Ah, this must be fate! The love you exude is magnificent, splendid, generous! But you, you, you...! You don't seem to understand what's going on here! You've acted so selfishly, so despotically, so full of yourself! Could it, could it, be that by chance...?"

"No, I'm not Pride, as far as I know."

The bodies of the cultists patrolling the area lay lifeless on the ground, their wounds mostly clean gashes across the throat. The rest were arrows piercing the chest, where the heart was.

"It can't be, there's no way, it's impossible, incomprehensible, unspeakable...! My brain is shaking...!"

"Yeah, I have something that will help you with that."

The man who caused this disaster smirked, raising a silver revolver that gleamed in the morning light. Sloth tilted his head, intrigued by what he saw.

BANG!

There was an explosion, but Petelgeuse didn't hear it. His brain was shattered by a bullet at that very moment, leaving a hole running through his head.

"Well, this was a bit disappointing."

After killing Petelgeuse, Leandro stood still, waiting for what he already knew was going to happen.

"Come on, don't make me wait."

A few seconds passed, and nothing happened. The boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Why not...?"

A supernatural sensation invaded him. Leandro could no longer move his mouth, nor the rest of himself.

"Ah, this new body..."

For some reason, his mouth formed words that his voice expressed without him having intervened at all.

"It's not that good..."

"How dare you insult my body, you son of a bitch? You're usurping it and you dare to despise it! Haven't you ever heard that you don't look a gift horse in the mouth!?"

Trying his best, Leandro began to fight for control and his mouth moved slowly.

"I can come back from the d...!"

Time stood still. Inside it, the familiar shadow of Satella appeared. But this time he wasn't alone, and she realized that.

"You are not him."

Destroying Petelgeuse's illusion, Satella expelled him from the body. Leandro almost felt sorry for the archbishop, who lived the last years of his life dedicating his existence to a useless purpose.

But the thought didn't last long. He still had to make sure the plan went ahead.

So he ran to join the others, still holding the revolver in his hand. However, Leandro wasn't destined to get very far.

BAM!

A single blow sent him flying, his body slamming into the trees. The revolver fell to the ground and skittered through the thick grass.

"Well, so you're the one who dared to kill our pet... Wonderful, wonderful, excellent, brilliant! How gratifying it is to have found you so quickly! We're so happy to be able to satisfy our appetite with you!"

With a voice oozing euphoria and the look of a hungry predator, Lye Batenkaitos introduced himself.