The journey to the Abandoned Sunstone Mine was an exercise in pure agony for Kenjiro. Gluteus Maximus, taking his role as "loyal cyborg disciple" with terrifying seriousness, insisted on addressing him only as "Lady Tornado." Lyrielle, the shy elf, would occasionally offer quiet, helpful observations about the path ahead, only to blush and look away whenever Kenjiro glanced at her.
And all the while, the little drone camera hovered, its red recording light a constant, judgmental eye. The live chat, which he could see on a small pop-up on his phone, was a relentless stream of worship and absurdity.
Gluteus is the GOAT for protecting our queen!
That dress is working overtime.
Lady Bombom, please notice me!
"It's not a dress, it's a costume! And my name isn't Lady Bombom!" he snapped at the drone, which only caused the chat to erupt in a flurry of "So cute when he's angry!" emotes.
They finally reached the dark, dusty entrance to the mine. "Alright, team," Kenjiro said, trying to regain some semblance of leadership. "Stay sharp. Gluteus, you're on point. Lyrielle, stay behind him. I'll... flank."
"A brilliant strategy, my lady!" Gluteus boomed, raising his shield and marching into the darkness.
They didn't have to wait long. From the shadows of the first cavern, a chittering sound echoed, and a group of small, scaly creatures with crude spears and wicked little knives emerged. Kobolds.
"Finally!" Kenjiro grinned, his battle instincts taking over. "Time to show you overgrown geckos what a real monster looks like!"
He charged forward, completely forgetting the impracticality of his outfit. Gluteus was already engaged, his shield absorbing the pathetic pokes of the kobolds' spears. He was an immovable wall, creating a perfect safe zone for the others.
From behind the steel fortress, Lyrielle's hands began to glow. A soft, warm light filled the cavern, dispelling the shadows and revealing more kobolds hiding in the crevices.
Fueled by annoyance and the desire to show off for his livestream audience, Kenjiro waded into the fray. He punched a kobold so hard it flew backward into two others. He spun, his leg lashing out in a kick that connected with another's head. His strength was undeniable, but his technique was hampered by the tight dress. With every high kick, the slits on the side flew open, and he had to awkwardly pull the fabric down, his face burning with shame.
The livestream chat was going absolutely wild.
After a few minutes of chaotic, undignified, yet surprisingly effective combat, the last kobold fell. Silence returned to the cavern.
Lyrielle shyly stepped forward. "Y-you were amazing, Bombom. So strong..."
"Indeed!" Gluteus added, turning to him with shining eyes. "Your command of the battlefield, your flawless execution! Truly, you are the Tornado of Terror!"
Kenjiro's face was as red as Lyrielle's hair. He couldn't handle the sincere praise. He spun around, crossing his arms and turning his back to them.
"I-it's not like I did it for you guys!" he huffed, his voice cracking. "I just wanted to get this over with so I can take off this stupid dress!" He then whirled on the hovering drone camera. "And stop staring, you perverts in the chat! The next person who comments on my legs gets banned!"
A torrent of heart emojis and comments praising his "perfect tsundere moment" flooded the screen. With a frustrated scream, Kenjiro stomped deeper into the mine, his party hurrying to follow their magnificent, and very angry, leader.