I Object to My Own Existence

.I would like to formally declare that I am not emotionally prepared to be put on trial by an ancient, possibly sentient, definitely passive-aggressive System.

Also, the courtroom was upside down.

Yes. Upside down. Floating ceiling tiles, inverted jury box, and judge's bench suspended from the air by crystalline wires like an art installation from hell.

I stood (or floated?) on a hexagonal platform made of translucent blue light, which pulsed beneath my feet like it was keeping score. Spoiler: I was losing.

Above me (or below me? Gravity was taking a personal day), holographic System avatars buzzed in judgment. One had the face of a gently condescending librarian. Another looked like a bored celestial accountant. A third was just a sentient spreadsheet wearing judicial robes.

You think I'm kidding. I am not.

[Welcome, Kael Reinhardt, Echo-Vessel Anomaly #00001]

[System Tribunal: Commencing]

[Charge: Excessive Emotional Interference With Plot Threads]

[Additional Charge: Unauthorized Charisma Distribution]

"Excuse me," I said, lifting one hand like a confused exchange student on the first day of class. "I'd like to plead 'What the hell.'"

[Objection noted. Rejected. Emotional sarcasm is not a valid defense.]

Inner Me: Cool, cool. I'm in an interdimensional trial run by bureaucratic emotion-police and apparently sarcasm isn't legal tender here. This is oppression.

"Do I at least get representation?" I tried. "A spectral lawyer? A morally ambiguous goat? A single, supportive snack?"

[Fluffernox has been summoned.]

From the void, a rift opened—and out popped a pastel puffball with glittering eyes and a bowtie.

"KAEL!" Fluffernox cried, floating in lazy somersaults. "I object to everything! Including gravity and bland tea!"

"Helpful as always, buddy."

"Also, I ate the evidence. It looked like a croissant."

…Okay, maybe not a great start.

A floating System Judge materialized, its face shifting between court stenographer and overly smug prophecy intern. It leaned forward (through a paradox).

[Please state your core defense: Why should you be allowed to continue as an Echo Vessel when your actions threaten systemic equilibrium, narrative consistency, and several romantic subplots?]

Ah. The classic "Why are you Like This?" defense.

"I didn't ask to be a walking glitch with soul-magnet energy," I said. "I was just trying to survive school without getting stabbed or seduced by prophecy."

[You failed at both.]

"Rude, but accurate."

A new hologram appeared, showing an embarrassing slideshow of events: me accidentally shirtless in a sword duel, me comforting Seraphina post-battle with unintentional tenderness, me falling into Belladonna's poison bath (long story), me baking cookies for Mirielle during a thunderstorm while music played—

I clutched my head. "WHY ARE THERE MUSIC CUES?!"

[You are a romantic fulcrum, Kael Reinhardt. A narrative attractor. The System has no defense against… your smolder.]

Inner Me: Did they just call me hot using math?

Fluffernox gasped dramatically. "Kael, they've discovered your final form: emotionally constipated cinnamon roll with chaotic cheekbones!"

"Not helping."

The gallery above (composed entirely of faceless System avatars and, oddly, one raccoon in a suit) murmured.

Suddenly, a portal shimmered—and in stormed Seraphina, blade drawn and eyes furious.

"You're not executing him without due combat!" she barked.

"You're not allowed here!" I shouted. "This is a closed court!"

"I was summoned by the Plot," she growled. "And possibly love."

"I OBJECT TO LOVE!" I screamed.

Too late. A second portal opened.

Mirielle floated down serenely, surrounded by glowing lilies and shame. "I felt a disturbance in Kael's emotional aura."

"GET OUT OF MY GUILT DIMENSION!"

A third portal.

Belladonna, on a floating throne of sarcasm and eyeliner: "You didn't think I'd let you emotionally spiral alone, did you?"

"This isn't spiraling! It's court-mandated introspection!"

Then came Aureline. Of course. "I brought a prophecy. It says Kael will flail emotionally for another seven years."

"How specific."

[The court is losing structural stability.]

"No kidding!" I shouted. "This is what happens when you throw four magical women into my courtroom trauma!"

[CONCLUSION: Kael Reinhardt is unfit for standard Echo Protocol. Initiating: Reflection Core Sequence.]

I blinked. "Wait, what?"

Fluffernox wiggled nervously. "Reflection Core. That's… uh… the part of the System that forces you to confront yourself."

"NO THANK YOU."

Too late. The floor dropped.

Now Entering: The Reflection Core

I fell through static. Through memories. Through every terrible haircut I'd ever had.

And then I hit… me.

Or, well, a version of me. Standing in a mirror of white light, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.

He looked older. Sadder. Like someone who'd made choices. Also: better hair.

"You're not real," I said.

Mirror-Kael smirked. "Neither are you. Not entirely."

"Stop being cryptic! I already get that from three fiancées and one extremely judgmental System!"

"Then tell me, Kael. What do you want?"

Silence.

Because I didn't know.

Because I'd been running from that answer since Chapter 1.

"I want to be left alone," I said. "I want to stop hurting people. I want to matter—but not in the way that destroys everyone I care about. I want to be enough."

Mirror-Kael nodded. "Then you'd better stop hiding behind jokes."

"I like jokes."

"I know. But they won't save you."

Then he smiled. Not unkindly. "But maybe they'll help you get through it."

The mirror cracked.

I fell again.

Back in the Courtroom

System avatars blinked. The gallery was quiet. My friends—all four chaotic, terrifying, beautifully real women—stood ready beside me.

[Tribunal Verdict: Delayed.]

[Kael Reinhardt has entered Reflection Shift State.]

[Narrative Entropy: Pending…]

A soft chime rang through the air. The courtroom shimmered.

And then, slowly, we were back in the academy gardens.

Because apparently, divine judgment has a reset button.

Seraphina stared at me.

Belladonna poked my shoulder.

Mirielle handed me tea.

Aureline sighed, already drawing new prophecy symbols.

"You alright?" she asked.

"No," I said truthfully.

"But I think I'm starting to want to be."

Next Time on Kaelverse:

Prophecy has a new target. Kael's emotions are on trial again—but this time, in front of someone he thought was long gone. New characters. New chaos. Possibly a cursed masquerade ball. Definitely more feelings.

Get ready, readers.

We've only just scratched the surface of whatever Kael is becoming.

And yes. Snacks will be provided.

Cursed ones, probably.