Guess Who’s Prophesied Now

Let's set the record straight.

At no point in my childhood did I dream of being a messianic glitch hazard with a systemic prophecy rating and a spoon bonded to my soul. I wanted to be something low-stakes. Like a tailor. Or a corpse.

But nooo. Apparently, fate has a sense of humor. And a subscription to the Echo Network's "Reality-Destroying Plot Twists" package.

Dawn: Echo House Dining Hall, 7:04am

There are very few things that can ruin breakfast.

Cold eggs. Screaming ghosts. The usual.

But being declared a prophesied vessel of destiny in front of fifty students while holding a croissant?

That's new.

It started with a ding. A subtle, pleasant little chime that usually signals someone's order of toast arriving via teleporting tray.

Except this one echoed across the dining hall like a divine doorbell.

⚠️ SYSTEM ALERT ⚠️

PRIMARY VESSEL CONFIRMED

SUBJECT: KAEL OF ECHO HOUSE

STATUS: PROPHESIED

RISK INDEX: ∞

FAVORABILITY SCORE: [PROCESSING ERROR]

The chandelier exploded.

Mirielle's milk levitated. Aureline inhaled an entire page of the System Law Compendium.

Zevran—bless his cursed heart—just blinked once, sighed, and said:

"You had one goal. Blend in. And now you're the main character."

The Entire Hall Descends into Screaming

"HE'S WHAT?!"

"MULTIVERSAL THREAT?!"

"Is this because he seduced the Duke's heir?!"

"That wasn't seduction, that was diplomacy by accident!"

Belladonna burst through the side door, mid-chew, armored bathrobe trailing behind her. "I WAS GONE FOR FIVE MINUTES. HOW IS HE PROPHESIED NOW?!"

Fluffernox descended from the rafters like an overcaffeinated disco ball. "I TOLD YOU. HE'S THE MAIN THREAD IN THE TAPESTRY OF DOOM."

"Fluffernox," I hissed. "Stop making metaphors. You know it encourages the prophecy engine."

SYSTEM RESPONSE:

"TOO LATE."

Then the Singing Started

From my mask.

A haunting, multi-voiced ballad that sounded like the soundtrack to a tragic opera written by hallucinating swans.

"Behold the vessel, masked and marred,

Who holds the glitch and plays the bard,

His soul a thread in fate's cruel loom,

His weapon… forged within the Spoon."

The room went silent.

Mirielle: "...That was disturbingly specific."

Aureline: "Did it say plays the bard? Is the prophecy musical?!"

The Spoon hummed in C-sharp.

Cut To: System Emergency Room

Apparently, getting a prophecy notification activates the "Mandatory Narrative Authority Summoning Clause," a term which, incidentally, should never be uttered three times near enchanted plumbing.

One swirl of light later, I was standing in the middle of an interdimensional amphitheater shaped like a Möbius strip made of regret.

Nine figures awaited me.

One was made of starlight.

One was a giant eye.

One was Doug, a floating cloud who smelled like bureaucracy and boredom.

Chairwoman Virelle leaned forward, mask shining like judgment itself.

"Do you know what you are?"

"Yes," I replied. "Very tired."

System Decree: Kael Shall Be Trained

"You have triggered the Glitch Echo Prophecy," Virelle intoned. "Your existence defies causality. Therefore, you must be trained."

Zevran, who somehow got ported in too, muttered, "Called it."

"Trained in what?" I asked warily.

Doug-Fog burbled, "Fate navigation. Reality stitching. Anti-chaos ethics. Spoon dueling."

My Spoon sparkled smugly.

Fluffernox appeared again. "Don't forget cryptic riddle interpretation and ambiguous foreshadowing 101!"

I stared at the sky.

My inner voice: So this is what it feels like to be plot-important.

Meanwhile: Back at Echo House

Belladonna: pacing aggressively "He's not even qualified to be prophesied! I took three elective courses in Fate Theory!"

Aureline: "He might be qualified by sheer statistical anomaly. The system can't predict him."

Seraphina (sipping tea): "That's hot."

Belladonna: "You mean his glitch resonance?"

Seraphina: "No. Him. In the mask. Dangerous. Mysterious. Unhinged."

Belladonna: splutters violently into a scroll.

Cutaway: The Original Prophecy (Scroll Excerpt)

Found in the Forbidden Attic, discovered during an ill-advised game of "Summon or Be Summoned," translated poorly by an ancient librarian who'd had it with fate.

"And when the masked fool walks

With spoon in hand and logic broken,

The Echo will awaken, and in its wake—

Comes laughter, ruin, and accidentally open flirtation."

Zevran: "That last part really tracks."

Letters from Kael's Parents (Why Now? Who Knows.)

Letter from Mum:

"Darling Kael,

We saw the prophecy alert in the Scry-Scrolls.

So proud. Please don't detonate anything.

P.S. If you start glowing, call home.

Love, Mum."

Letter from Dad:

"Son, remember what I told you:

If the spoon talks first, it's cursed.

If you talk first, you're cursed.

If the mask sings? Run."

The mask sang again. Harmonized this time.

Nightfall: The Echo House Roof, Under Starlight

I sat with my spoon beside me, mask pulsing faintly, scrolls full of "fate threads" unraveling on my lap like divine yarn.

Zevran joined me, throwing me a wrapped pastry.

"You good?"

I blinked. "I was a random student a week ago."

He grinned. "You were never random, Kael. Just aggressively misfiled."

Pause. The wind swirled. The spoon hummed.

"And now?" I asked softly.

He leaned back on his elbows.

"Now," he said, "you're the variable that broke the prophecy parser. Which means we win. Eventually."

Final System Log: 000587-C

GLITCH VESSEL: [KAEL]

PROPHECY THREAD: ACTIVE

TRAINING ARC: INITIATED

SYSTEM REACTION: [PANIC]

COMMENTARY: "He smiled at the time paradox. Why did he smile at the time paradox."

Next Time on Kaelverse: Chapter 52 – "How to Train Your Glitch (Poorly)"

Kael meets the ancient Echo Shrine and is assigned a mentor who might be… a sentient fungus?

The spoon begins to speak actual words (and demands snacks).

Belladonna initiates a formal prophecy duel.

The Duke's heir sends Kael a magically folded note that either contains a love confession... or a formal marriage proposal.