I Owe Her A Thank You.

The apartment was dimly lit, gold dusk settling beyond the blinds. A faint breeze stirred through the cracked window, carrying the distant sounds of the city. Joon-Won sat on the edge of the couch in a white ribbed tank and grey sweats, a cigarette half-smoked in the ashtray beside him. His hair was messy clearly air dried after a shower, a subtle curl forming at the ends. He hadn't moved much in the last hour, only shifted positions every now and then, checking his phone without opening anything.

No messages.

Tae-hyun hadn't texted since that long video call this morning. Not since the sleepy moment with his son and wife in the backyard. It had ended softly with Tae whispering "Keep the door open." And Joon had. Literally. The door was unlocked, just in case. But now, as evening set in and the apartment dimmed around him, his overthinking began to creep in.

Was Tae still planning to come? Was Seo-yeon asking him questions? Had something gone wrong?

He sighed, raking a hand through his hair before dropping his phone on the coffee table and leaning back, head tilted against the cushion. His eyes drifted shut.

He hadn't meant to fall asleep. Just… rest his eyes.

⸻

When Tae had arrived at Joon's apartment, he didn't text or call since he had already told Joon this morning he'll probably visit and he also kinda wanted to surprise him.

Tae-hyun stepped into the apartment with careful steps, closing the door behind him as softly as he could. The air was warm inside, laced with the faint scent of clean laundry, smoked tobacco, and something subtly familiar… Joon. He slipped out of his sneakers, eyes adjusting to the low light as he made his way into the living room.

And there he was.

Joon-Won, slouched deep in the couch, one arm draped over his torso, the other falling loosely off the edge. His mouth was slightly parted, jaw relaxed, chest rising and falling in deep, even breaths. The only thing on his body was the gray sweats he had on since last night call, the shape of his half naked body soft in the shadowed light.

Tae stopped.

He didn't move for a moment, just stood there, watching him. There was something about the quiet vulnerability of the scene. The stillness. The trust in being so unguarded. He approached slowly and carefully sat down on the edge of the couch by Joon's head, resting a hand on the cushion near Joon's hip before gently reaching out to push back a few strands of hair from his forehead.

The touch was light. Almost reverent.

But then, without warning, Joon-Won shifted.

A low, gravelly breath escaped him, and his arm moved without grace, eyes still shut. He turned his face instinctively, nose brushing against Tae-hyun's thigh.

Then both arms wrapped around him, and Joon-Won buried his face fully into Tae's lap like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Tae-hyun froze, wide-eyed, mouth parted but said nothing.

"Mmm." Joon-Won's voice was deep, low, hoarse from sleep. "You really came."

Tae bit his lip, suppressing a laugh. "Didn't think I would?"

"Didn't think you'd sneak in like a cat burglar," Joon mumbled, voice still muffled against Tae's thigh. "Could've died happy just like this."

He nuzzled in deeper.

"Right here?" Tae asked, a soft blush creeping up his neck.

"Mmhmm." Joon let out a pleased sound, hand lazily gripping the side of Tae's hip. "If this is how I go, it's worth it."

"By suffocation?" Tae laughed, brushing his fingers through Joon's hair again, gentler this time. "You're ridiculous."

"Shhh," Joon muttered. "Let me die in peace."

Tae rolled his eyes, smiling despite himself. "You're dramatic when you're half-asleep."

"Charming is the word you're looking for."

"Yeah yeah."

Joon-Won cracked one eye open at that, peering up at him with the faintest smirk. His voice dipped lower. "Missed you today."

Tae looked down, something in his chest tightening. "I know. Sorry."

"You okay?"

Tae nodded. "Yeah."

"Didn't text. Thought I was being ghosted."

"I told you to keep the door open."

"I know.. so I did," Joon said, eyes still closed. "I kept it open for you."

Tae felt the words in his spine, like a chord vibrating too close to his chest.

"You fell asleep," Tae murmured.

"Was trying not to." Joon tilted his head lazily to glance up at him. His eyes were glazed with sleep, soft and heavy, but there was no mistaking the curl of mischief forming at the edge of his smile. "You're lucky I didn't dream about you doing this to me. Would've made this a lot more awkward."

Tae blinked. "Doing what?"

"Touching my hair like that," Joon mumbled. "Looking at me like you're in love or something."

"I'm not—" Tae started, then flushed.

Joon's smirk widened, though he still hadn't moved. "Sure."

"I was admiring you," Tae confessed, voice quieter now. "That's all."

Joon's expression softened for real then. He shifted, adjusting his position slightly, arms circling Tae's hips without fully pulling him down. His face was still pressed close to him, half-buried.

"You look really good," Joon murmured. "Like… good good. Did your wife pick your outfit again?"

"She did."

"Of course she did. She wants me to suffer."

Tae laughed. "She told me to say hi, actually. Said she still likes you."

Joon's brows lifted slightly. "She knows you're with me?" 

Tae nodded.

"And she's okay with it?"

"She's…" Tae paused, smiling to himself. "We had a long talk that also why I didn't text, She's amazing. She said I didn't have to hide anything from her anymore and I don't need to lie."

Joon looked up at him, blinking slowly, lips parting just slightly, confused yet just listening.

"Oh and.. she invited you over for wine."

"Jesus," Joon exhaled. "Now that's terrifying."

"Yeah." Tae smiled down at him. "She said she wants to see the real you. Not the cool, mysterious version."

Joon groaned again and pulled Tae down just a little, resting his forehead against his lower stomach now, hiding his face from him.

"Remind me to never date a therapist's best friend," he muttered.

"She's not a therapist.. and you're not dating anyone," Tae said playfully.

Joon's eyes flicked up at him then he hummed softly and mumbled under his breath.

"Not yet."

A little while later…

The apartment smelled faintly of citrus and heat.

Tae-hyun sat curled up on the couch now, legs tucked beneath him, his loose white button-down shirt was still neatly half-tucked into the light jeans he had on along with the beige knit sweater That Seo-yeon had picked for him. It was obvious she'd chosen them intentionally, clothes that made him look younger, softer. He wasn't even mad about it. Not when Joon-Won had noticed right away and told him he looked good.

From the kitchen, the sound of clinking cups broke the quiet. Joon-Won shuffled back into the living room with two mugs of tea balanced in his hands. His hair was still a mess sticking up slightly at the crown, sleep-creased on one side, and his expression was somewhere between groggy and affectionate.

He set the cups on the coffee table and sank to the floor across from Tae, back against the base of the couch, long legs folded carelessly. He sat close by him.

"Seriously, You look great," he said, voice still low and a little scratchy. "She has good taste."

Tae glanced down at himself with a small smile, tugging the hem of the sweater over his bare thigh. "She said be glad I didn't make you wear a flower patch and cologne."

Joon chuckled, warm and quiet. "You'd probably still wear it too well."

Tae-hyun rolled his eyes playfully with a slight smile, watched him over the rim of his cup, eyes lingering on the way Joon's bare chest moves with every breath he takes or word he speaks. His hair was still wild. There was something so unguarded about him like this, barefaced, grounded, barefoot on the floor. It made Tae's chest ache a little.

He hesitated before sighing and mumbling softly.

"Why did Seo have to be the one to tell me?"

Joon glanced up, eyebrows slightly furrowed. "Tell you…?"

"That you and Ha-eun are on a break," Tae said, his voice calm, but not light. "That you asked for space. That you moved out."

Joon's shoulders stilled. His fingers tightened slightly around the mug, but he didn't look away.

Tae set his cup down. "Ha-eun told her. she told my wife. But you didn't tell me."

A beat of silence passed. Joon's lips parted, then closed again. He ran a hand through his hair, making it worse. "Tae…"

"I had to hear it from her," Tae continued, voice low. "She sat down with me and said it like it was a normal update. And I just—" He exhaled. "I didn't know how to react."

Joon leaned back slightly, head tipping against the edge of the couch. "I didn't know how to tell you. I was trying to give you space."

"You were the one who asked for space in your marriage," Tae said quietly. "Why would I need space from the truth?"

Joon didn't answer right away. His jaw flexed once, then again. He looked up at Tae, eyes darker now. "Because if I told you out loud… it would make it real."

Tae blinked, lips parting slightly with a glint of confusion in his eyes.

Joon's voice was low, careful. "If I said it to you, you'd know what it meant. That this thing between us.. whatever it is, isn't temporary. Isn't harmless. And maybe I wasn't ready for you to look at me differently because of that."

Tae was quiet.

Then, softly, "I already was."

Joon looked up.

"I was already looking at you differently. From the first time you kissed me at the lounge. Maybe even before that." Tae's voice was raw, but steady. "So the fact that you didn't tell me… it felt like you were still trying to protect something. But it wasn't me."

Joon's throat worked around silence. His gaze dropped to the floor for a moment before rising again, and when he spoke, his voice was quieter than before. "I wasn't trying to protect her either."

"Then what?"

"Myself," Joon admitted, the word catching like gravel. "I didn't want to admit how far I'd already gone. That this—" he gestured vaguely between them, "—wasn't just a one-time thing. That it had already started pulling at everything."

Tae sat still, eyes searching his.

"I didn't tell you," Joon went on, "because if I did… then you'd know I was serious."

"I already know," Tae whispered.

Their eyes held for a long time. Neither of them moved.

Then, slowly, Tae reached forward across the table and wrapped his hand around Joon's wrist. Not tightly. Just enough.

"I just wish you said it first."

Joon's expression softened.. pained, vulnerable. His fingers turned under Tae's until their palms met.

"I'm saying it now."

And in that quiet living room, with tea cooling on the table and shadows dancing across the walls, it felt like the start of something irreversible.

Joon-Won let their hands stay joined for a moment—his thumb brushing slowly along the back of Tae-hyun's hand like he wasn't even aware of it. The silence had weight, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It hummed with something else now. Something gentler.

Then Joon leaned his head back again, eyes closing for a breath before he opened them and said quietly, "It wasn't easy. Telling her."

Tae watched him, not interrupting.

"She… didn't cry," Joon said, voice steady but low. "Not at first, at least. Just sat there, staring at me like she was bracing for impact. I think she'd been waiting for it. You can feel when something's rotting, even if no one says it out loud."

Tae shifted slightly on the couch, his eyes flickering with quiet empathy.

"I didn't tell her everything," Joon added, gaze falling to the side. "Not about you. I couldn't. I don't think I'm ready to see what that does to her yet. But I told her I needed time. That I wasn't okay living the way we were anymore. She probably thought I was having some kind of midlife meltdown at first." A small, bitter smile curved his lips. "Maybe I am."

Tae let out the faintest huff of breath but didn't smile.

"She also probably thinks I'm staying at a hotel somewhere," Joon murmured. "I didn't tell her about this apartment. Didn't want her to feel like it was premeditated."

Tae's brows twitched slightly. "But it was."

Joon nodded once. "Yeah. Just not in the way she'd assume."

He drew in a long breath and turned to look at Tae again. "We made a plan, though. For our son."

Tae's posture straightened subtly, expression tightening.

"He's too attached to me," Joon continued, quieter now. "If I just vanished overnight, he'd feel it. So… we agreed I'd spend one week here, one week back home. Rotate. Until we figure out where all of this is heading."

Tae blinked slowly, his jaw tensing like he was trying to hide how much that small admission meant to him. "That's… really mature of you both."

"It's for him. Not for us."

There was another pause, and then Joon added, almost surprised at himself, "But being here… on the off weeks… It feels like I can breathe again. I have time to think. Time to sleep, to sit, to—"

He looked up at Tae, gaze holding.

"Have time to wait for you."

Tae's eyes dropped briefly, the tips of his ears turning faintly pink.

"I don't want to push you," Joon added. "But when you're around, it's better. I'm better."

Tae reached for his tea again, just for something to do with his hands. He looked down into the cup, voice soft. "So you're really serious about this. About being away from her."

"I didn't ask for time to manipulate her," Joon said calmly. "I asked for it because I knew I was gone already. Just hadn't said it out loud yet."

He shifted a little, got off the ground and sat next to Tae on the couch, closer, enough that his knee now brushed Tae's. "This apartment is mine. But the time I spend here… I want that to be ours. When you want it. When you're ready."

Tae looked at him again and this time, he didn't look away. His voice dropped a little, quieter, more certain. "You're starting to make it really hard to pretend this is just an affair."

Joon's eyes darkened slightly, the corner of his mouth lifting. "That's because it isn't."

Their fingers brushed again, neither pulling away.

"Then what is it?" Tae asked, nearly a whisper.

Joon looked up at him, eyes unwavering. "A beginning."

And Tae didn't smile.

But he didn't argue either.

Joon-Won shifted slightly where he sat on the couch, reaching for his tea again before glancing over at Tae-hyun through tousled hair.

"So…" he began, a bit slower, voice still soft and low. "That call this morning."

Tae blinked. "What call?"

Joon tilted his head with a faint, knowing look. "The one where your wife came in while your son were asleep in your lap. And spoke to me on the video call."

Tae's whole expression flickered with recognition and immediate fluster. He lowered his tea quickly. "Ah. Right. That call."

Joon's lips twitched. "She seemed… calm. Curious. Smarter than both of us."

"She usually is."

"What did she ask you?"

Tae rubbed the back of his neck, clearly hesitating.

Joon watched him carefully. "Did it… go okay?"

Tae stood up suddenly, his movements quick, like he needed to shake the energy off. He walked around the coffee table, setting his tea down on a coaster before turning back toward Joon who remained seated, now leaning back against the couch, chin resting in his hand, utterly focused.

"She, uh… she was chill," Tae said, scratching lightly at his arm. "We talked after I got off the call. She made coffee. Sat me down like she was about to give me a skincare intervention."

Joon raised a brow, that lazy smile twitching at his lips. "So she's not mad?"

"Mad? No, she's the opposite of mad. It's like I gave her season two of a drama she's been watching for years."

Joon's head tipped back with a deep laugh.

"And then—" Tae pointed an accusing finger, face flushed with disbelief, "—she starts asking me for the tea. Like, actual details. She pulled me onto the bed, gave me this mug, and said, 'Start from the beginning.' Like I'm supposed to explain every moment that led to this." He gestured vaguely at them both.

Joon rested his chin in his hand, visibly enjoying this. "And did you?"

Tae hesitated.

"…Mostly."

Joon grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah? And?"

"She said she's known, Joon. Like, she's known. This whole time."

His voice cracked slightly, more in disbelief than anything else.

Joon sat up a bit straighter. "She told you that?"

"Yeah. Said she was just waiting for me to be honest. That she didn't want to push."

Tae's gaze dropped as his fingers picked nervously at the hem of his sweater. "She said… it didn't change how she saw me. That she didn't feel betrayed or unloved or anything like that. That we've always been partners, she said it'll never change."

He looked back up, eyes unsure but warm.

"She told me she supports me. That she's rooting for you. Said and I quote—'I'm kinda rooting for him.'"

Joon huffed a laugh through his nose. "That sounds like her."

"She said it didn't hurt our marriage," Tae said more quietly now. "But she could see I was into you..."

Joon's breath caught, ever so subtly.

Tae paced a little, cheeks still flushed. "And then she, um… started asking questions."

Joon blinked. "Questions."

"Yes. Detailed ones."

Now Joon looked amused. "What kind of detailed?"

"She wanted the tea, Joon."

That made Joon laugh, actually laugh, head tipping back slightly as his chest shook. Tae looked scandalized.

"She asked me about you, about the bar, about our first kiss, about who texted who first. About what you said that night."

"Oh god," Joon murmured, biting down a smile.

"I tried to keep it vague, but she's terrifying. She got everything out of me."

Joon's eyes glinted with interest. "Everything?"

"No. Well.. I didn't tell her we've…" Tae paused, flushed darker, "done things."

Joon tilted his head, teasing now. "You mean I didn't make the cut for husband-to-husband debriefing?"

"I almost did! She asked! explicitly!!! who started it. I told her you flirted first.. but I also admitted I was the one who put my number in your phone."

"Which is true," Joon said smugly.

"She was laughing and being dramatic. Laughing, Joon. And then she said something about 'I knew he was the grabby type'."

Joon froze for a half-second—then let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. "And what did you say?"

Tae looked away, ears red. "I didn't confirm it I just.. hinted that I'm submissive so she got the hint."

Joon stood slowly now, pushing off the couch and walking closer, gaze fixed on Tae like a slow current. "And did you also tell her how much you liked that part?"

Tae took a step back, flustered. "She dragged it out of me!"

Joon was close now, eyes sharp with something quiet and dangerous. "So she knows."

"She knows everything," Tae murmured, swallowing.

Joon reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind Tae's ear, fingers brushing the side of his jaw. "And she's rooting for me?"

Tae nodded once, voice smaller. "She's on your side."

Tae lowered his hands, flustered but smiling despite himself. "She's too supportive. It's unnerving."

"I'm glad she is," Joon murmured, voice dipping. "It makes this easier."

Joon's lips parted slightly as he leaned in, just a breath away. "I guess I owe her a thank-you."

And he kissed him.. slow, deliberate, almost reverent.