chapter 21

"I love you too keifer"

Jay-jay's POV

I don't want to ask. I don't, even if I want to. It's confusing, but I really don't want to. I don't want to open up the topic about the accident. Even if I'm dying to know the truth. I already know parts of it, but the whole thing? The complete story!

I'm being nosy!

"We're here..." he said and stopped the car in front of our house. "Should I pick you up tomorrow?"

"Maybe not... I'll just go with Ci-N. She still doesn't know," I explained.

"Ahh... Okay. Maybe next time."

I just smiled at him. I was about to open the car door when he suddenly grabbed my arm.

"Wait..." he said.

"Why?" I asked. He suddenly puckered his lips and closed his eyes. I raised an eyebrow.

"You want me to kiss your fist?" I asked sarcastically, and he shot me a dirty look.

"Just one!" he said, annoyed.

"You've had more than enough!"

You've had more than enough.

"I'm just making up for lost time."

Making up for lost time?!

"What are you even making up for?" I asked, confused.

"B-because... Keifer has kissed you so many times already but me... only a few," he explained.

I immediately felt annoyed by what he said. It sounded like he was competing.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked seriously.

"N-nothing... I'm just jealous," he replied like a child.

"You're such a child... and this isn't a competition!" I snapped.

"Sorry..."

"Oh! Just shut up already!" I said, offering a hug. He smiled immediately and hugged me. He really took his time, too, before letting go.

I opened the car door and got out. I waited for him to drive off before walking toward our gate. I was just one step away from entering when another car stopped in front of our house.

Who is this?!

The car door opened, and Keifer stepped out, looking angry.

"W-why are you—"

He suddenly grabbed my arm and dragged me toward his car.

"Get in!" he ordered.

I just stood in front of the car. I looked at our gate, which was open, then back at him.

If I ran inside, maybe he wouldn't catch me. And he wouldn't be able to come in because Aries and Kuya Angelo were inside.

"Don't even think about it..." I heard Keifer say.

Was I that obvious? He figured that out too.

Show-off!

I frowned as I got into his car—another one again! He got in quickly too. Before he even started driving, I held onto whatever I could.

Damn this guy drives like he's in a race. What about me, his poor passenger?

As he kept driving, I watched him. His eyebrows were furrowed again like the world had wronged him.

"W-where are we going?" I asked.

He didn't answer. He turned right, then left, then just kept going straight.

I looked up at the sky. The sun was setting.

Kuya and Ci-N might be worried by now.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. I was about to text Ci-N and Kuya when Keifer suddenly snatched my phone and tossed it toward the dashboard.

"I'm just letting Kuya know!" I said angrily.

He didn't reply and just kept his eyes on the road. I crossed my arms and leaned back, seething. He's being unhinged again!

Annoying!

The drive was long. How long? I didn't know, I just knew it was dark now. So dark, and even darker where we ended up.

He better not be planning anything bad!

We were on the side of the road. No houses, no lights. It felt like we were in a newly-built subdivision because of the gate we passed earlier.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"What did you and Yuri do?" he asked calmly, but his voice was laced with anger.

Uh-oh.

"W-we went to church," I said hesitantly.

"What else?"

"Did groceries and cooked."

"What else?"

I was starting to feel scared. I didn't want to tell him everything.

He might get mad again like before. I don't want that.

"W-we talked and looked at pictures."

"What else?"

"That's it!"

"What. Else?" he said more forcefully. I swallowed hard. What was his problem now?!

"T-that's all... Is there something else I should say?"

He stared straight into my eyes. And there it was again—that fear battling with my courage.

"Don't lie to me," he said.

I looked away and took a deep breath.

Damn it!

"W-we kissed—"

I didn't finish. He suddenly got out of the car and slammed the door shut so hard the whole car shook.

He just stood there, staring off into the distance. His back was to me, and I saw how he kept running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

I bit my lower lip. It was pitch black outside, and the car lights were our only source of light.

I had no choice but to get out. I took a few steps toward him but stopped when he slightly turned to look at me.

"Keifer..."

"Why are you doing this to me?" he asked.

It felt like something punched me in the heart when I saw his eyes. They were soft, broken—like he had turned into someone else.

"You're mine. Only mine. Everything about you is mine."

Enough!

"No... I'm not. I'm not an object, Keifer. You don't own me," I said calmly.

This has to stop. He needs to stop. Or we do.

"Why? Because you like Yuri?"

Stop already! Please!

"Yes. That's why I accepted his proposal," I said directly.

He stepped closer and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Liar."

My brows furrowed.

"You can't lie—"

"I'm not," I cut him off.

"—to me."

"I'm telling the truth," I insisted.

"And yet you responded to my kiss that night," he said bitterly.

Don't bring that up! I don't want to remember that!

"You responded to my touch and you moaned my name. And now you're telling me you like Yuri? What about me? What am I to you?"

No! I don't want to talk about that! That was a mistake!

"You almost gave yourself to me! So tell me! HOW COME THAT GUY IS THE ONE YOU LIKE?!"

he added furiously. I couldn't stop myself from crying anymore. My tears fell uncontrollably.

"YES! I'M NOT SURE ABOUT WHAT I FEEL! BUT I KNOW THIS IS WHAT'S RIGHT! YURI IS THE RIGHT ONE!

IT WAS A MISTAKE THAT I ALMOST GAVE IN TO YOU!" I shouted back.

"You chose Yuri. Why?! Because of that FUCKING ENGAGEMENT?!"

"NO!"

"THEN WHY?!"

I wiped my tears and took a few deep breaths. My chest was so heavy. I never thought we'd reach this point.

"Because it's what's right... I can't bear the thought of hurting Yuri again for the same reason."

My knees gave out and I leaned against the car.

"...That's why, even if I'm unsure, I said yes. I want him to experience happiness."

"So you chose to sacrifice your feelings?" he asked quietly. I didn't answer.

I sat down on the ground, still wiping my tears.

"Ha! Yuri again!" he said, making me look at him. "The 'oh so genius kid'.

The good boy, the heir of Hanamitchi. Yuri who is loved and cared for by everyone."

He walked a little away and looked up at the sky. His frustration was evident in his every move.

"Why is it always about him?! Always?!

When we thought Percy was dead, he was the first one everyone worried about!

But me?! What?! NOTHING!

No one even asked if I was okay. Everything was about him!

And now, even the woman I love?!" he shouted angrily.

I couldn't understand what he meant. Did he have issues with Yuri?

I tried to stand up, still watching him. But I went weak again when I saw him crying.

Keifer...

"Me! I don't have a mother by my side, a father to guide me, and I've been taking care of my siblings for so long!

Not once did anyone ask if I was okay!"

My heart shattered. I couldn't bear to see him like this. He was so different from the Keifer I knew.

Stop... It hurts...

"But him, with just a scratch, they almost rushed him to the hospital!

They practically worshipped him!" he added.

I didn't wait for him to say more. I quickly went to him and hugged him tightly.

At the same time, my tears fell again.

"Stop it! Please..." I begged.

"Not you too! Jay-jay!" he said as he hugged me tightly. "Please..."

This is wrong! So wrong! But I realize I can't make it right either.

I always say we should stop, but how can I do that?

How...

How, when it will hurt us both?

I don't want to make promises. I don't want to say anything.

Because maybe Ci-N was right, promises are meant to be broken.

But right now...

"I'm not... I'm not," I said, and I felt him exhale deeply.

"I can't lose you..." he said.

I closed my eyes. I didn't care anymore if this was wrong. I was ready to make it right in any way.

"I love you so much, Jay..."

I clung tightly to his shirt.

It felt different hearing those words from him, but even more different when I finally said...

"I love you too, Keifer."