The Kundalani & The Antagonist Giant

Loenas Journal

Apart from the smaller spoon snake who was inherently a pet and I didn't know whose she was and she probably did not even choose this herself. There was another snake who was almost similar to the experience of terror and she was an entity that would usually slither into my body from the outside, without any permission. For a long time, the same snake entity intruder slithered into my body every single day. She found a way by nesting inside my pet dogs body first and they're extremely pampered and cannot sleep outside sometimes and during the night time, she would slither through my mouth and pretend to live the life im experiencing the entire day. I usually have alot of things to do, like fill my journal, complete my old incomplete artworks and read documents for my personal researches and most often I cannot do these things because she interrupts my thoughts like she wants me to be in her element instead.

Basically, do nothing and wallow around the thought patterns she sends to me on a revolving cycle, instead. At the beginning, I didn't know who she really was and what she wanted. But after a meanwhile she was able to get the message through me to tell me that she was infact somebody extremely tall, unlike human beings.

And lo and behold, things started crashing down on me and around me, everywhere I went were the shattered little fragments of my own elements, falling apart like being unable to be caught and put back where I belong because now, this giant thinks that she can embody me and walk my shoes like we were alike. And, at first I felt a strong sense of empathy thinking what if she is treated with unnatural disrespect and cruelty in reality and if I did the same it wouldn't be like me to be that way. So I started by expressing real kindness and understanding and sometimes even did the things she told me to. If I have to he honest, It was a real burden on my shoulders and I didn't know how to show it and once they got her out to make her a pet, I thought shed never come back again.

But it got more and more intense, now she started to come back more often and this ability of hers, to be able to switch to another snake at once, was unclassified. Perhaps, it was the metaphysics of the viod of emptiness.

Now she started to play reverse psychology on me saying infact she's the one that empathizes me, and the annoying idea about this was that the empathy wasn't even real. There was no empathy from a non empathetic person. It was an impossible trait that not many people were able to acquire. Because their idea of empathy was a carefully planned sympathy dissected out of a very sociopathically narcissistic mind/mentality or adapted social scenarios.

And it was playing as the source of all kinds of mind games. I went to the hospital and got medicines for my problems and she would even go and eat those medicines I take for herself. It was tormenting and blasphemous. An actual monster trying to play by her rules. I have to understand what she's really playing by and what's this oh so important first priority agenda of hers.

This giant was now a huge player of the empathy game. She was a corporeal war that was waged against me, inside my inner sanctum. She was here in this town, Thenwa, a small town in the plains next to a tributary river of Lowae Grages, yes I made my home base here because after my father died, there was nowhere left to go. It is a pretty nice place with not extreme commercial influences. And according to my observations, evolution here was taking place quite slowly due to open corruption.

This giant was a 9 ft tall woman that was suffering from signs and symptoms of alzeimers, who held some type of coporeal means of power with the essence of this town, and had some kind of a predominant and biased corporeal grudge against me, and it was based on certain obsessive behavioural disorder. As days went by i was coping with this implant and enduring all the really torturous information that was being shadowed into my mind and it didnt stop even once, i never got used to her, she was a horror to me that one day the nerves of my hand snapped. I slowly started to develop a habit of completely shutting down my sensual side, as she would feel whatever i felt if i ever touched myself, and would always take it for a matter of a joke that flickered with her anger and treat my sexuality and my female reproductive systems like it was an object which, someone else, like her, for this instance, can enhance or "capture" to experience the nervous stimulus of climaxes and sensations that are yours, personally.

It's creepy because theyre not human beings or beings that arent inside me, that i can share something so personal with, and really repulsive because now I know that my nervous systems and my sensory motors are being mishandled too.

The worst part of it all was that, this was what they wanted, they were okay with me completely shutting down my sexuality so they can keep feeling it inside my body instead. Apparently, I wasn't deserving of it and this is when I understood that it was a sign of the cognitive disease.

I was hoping there was a cure for this without this snake inside me.

She slowly started to make demeaning gestures of my body, by shaming it or making me feel like my image in their eyes was disfigured and she was a pretty proud contender as though there were others that supported this movement, one that was driven from their cognitive impairments.

Every day surpassed like the discouragements from mundanity, that which usually made people feel a reassurance of being...normal and mundane, i suppose due to the absence of reasons to sense meaningless happiness..but most importantly, it wasn't really me to be that way....too normal from being pushed around in the dirt. I just felt like I was much more different and they couldn't understand me.

I was very confused at first about who exactly this giant being was. Everybody here was afraid of her, but if she was somebody honorable, she would definitely not do this to me or to anybody.

[There was definitely something fishy about the image of Athena in the eyes of people. She was intelligent and healthy and not deformed; as she was always able to part take in the battlefields of war.]

Surprisingly, one day I had a strange and prophetic dream about a tall presence, telling me that I needed to come to her statue, in order to bring her back to the world of living. It wasn't clear who she was in the dream but to me it was evident, that it was Athena sending me a message through my kundalani. I didn't know what to do because I am a human being, I cannot teleport nor fly to her statue where she is frozen in time.

After careful contemplation, it occured to me that, this was the Athena conspiracy behind the mask of any tall giant. They were against her, because she was somebody that defied the power of men and so was the corporeal consciousness of this giant from Thenwa. Who was that?

They were breeding some kind of a demonic manifestation of earthly beings in the consciousness and that wasn't who Athena was. And I couldn't take any sides yet because I still believe in the neutrality of the Divine light and that she may be somewhere else, trapped in time.

Anyway my kundalani became a sight of wavering spectacle for the other snakes.This was absurd now because it disturbed my soul in return. I wasn't prepared for any of this and my innocence was being put under elongated and constant scrutiny and I had no answers for it because all I remember is this life and being a human, a gift from God.