Chapter 19: Fixed day

Danna:

I sat quietly in the corner of my room, my arms curled tightly around my knees, chin resting against them, while Xinqi moved around curiously—touching the little trinkets I had placed on my desk, flipping through my sketchbook of photographs, and softly humming to herself. She looked so light, so unbothered by the weight that seemed to be crushing me from the inside.

I watched her, the smallest of smiles brushing my lips, only to disappear just as quickly. Because unlike her, my heart was tangled in a thousand knots I couldn't undo.

The wedding.

It was happening.

The date was set—21st of August, 2025—and no matter how much I tried to tell myself it was just a dream, just a horrible lie someone had whispered into existence, the truth was far too loud to ignore.

Things with Kai had become... awkward.

He was no longer just my xuezhang. Not just a senior with a sharp jawline and a commanding voice. No. Now he was someone who looked at me like I already belonged to him. He'd invite me to walk beside him after class, talk casually about the kind of girl his family preferred—graceful, obedient, traditional. And all the while, I just stood there, nodding, smiling, pretending.

Pretending I wasn't slowly falling apart.

Because in the depths of my mind, it wasn't his voice I heard.It was Dante's.

The boy who once brought me mashed potatoes and a broken candle on a rooftop.The boy who promised to marry me.The boy I abandoned, unknowingly, cruelly.And maybe—just maybe—the boy who would never forgive me for it.

"Jiejie..." Xinqi's voice cut through the fog of my thoughts, gentle fingers wrapping around my hand. I looked up, startled, my amber eyes meeting hers—so much like mine, but still untouched by the world.

"Do you love him?" she asked softly, like she already knew the answer but needed to hear it anyway.

I looked down at the floor, my lips parting, but no words came out.

"That guy from the orphanage," she clarified, and my heart skipped violently.

I shook my head slightly, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue. "You're mistaken," I said, barely above a whisper. "Gege must have misunderstood."

Her grip on my hand tightened. "You know you can tell me everything, right?" she said, her voice trembling with sincerity.

"I know." I forced a smile, reaching over to ruffle her hair like I always did when I wanted to feel like the older sister again. "And I trust you, Xinqi. So promise me... you'll keep this between us. Okay?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes, I will, Jiejie."

And with that, she leaned her head on my shoulder, and I leaned mine on hers, while silence wrapped around us like a blanket. A silence filled with unspoken truths and the ache of a love that still lived quietly inside my chest, buried beneath promises I never chose to make.

As me and Xingqi sat cross-legged on the bed, her tiny fingers flipping curiously through the little trinkets and old photographs I kept in my drawer, I watched her with a fond smile, trying to distract myself from the storm brewing in my chest. She giggled at a childhood picture of me with yogurt on my nose, and I laughed softly with her, if only to hide the heaviness in my heart.

A knock tapped gently on the door.

"Come in," I called, trying to steady my voice.

The door creaked open slowly, and there he was—Gege. He stepped in with that usual casual grin, the one that always made everything feel safe again. "Sup, girls?" he said, his voice light like a teenager pretending to be carefree.

I smiled, grateful for the distraction. "How was your day?"

He sat at the edge of the bed, ruffling Xingqi's hair as he shrugged. "Eh, it was so-so. Same old, boring classes."

Xingqi lit up beside me. "How's the wedding preparation going?" Gege asked, glancing at me before reaching for one of my plushies like he always did.

I sighed. "Mom, jiejie, and I are going shopping tomorrow. Just one month left and too much to do."

Xingqi leaned forward excitedly. "It's going to be so pretty! I want to help choose your jewellery too!"

"Relax, Xingqi," Gege chuckled. "It's your sister's wedding, not yours. Save this energy for your own."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "For hers too, of course."

I gave a small laugh, but it didn't quite reach my eyes.

Then Gege's expression changed. "Xingqi, can me and jiejie have some privacy? I need to talk to her."

Xingqi pouted, folding her arms across her chest. "Why not in front of me? I'm not a baby!"

"Xingqi, please…" Gege repeated, his voice gentler now.

With a dramatic sigh, she got up and shuffled out, muttering something about unfair adults. The door clicked shut behind her.

There was a brief pause before Gege turned to me again, his smile gone, replaced by something serious.

"Don't pretend to be happy when you're not, Xinyi," he said softly but firmly.

I forced a smile, reaching for the stack of clothes near me. "Did you buy your outfit yet? You'll look charming in black co—"

"Xinyi," he cut me off, his voice sharper now.

I looked at him slowly, an unexpected lump forming in my throat.

He stood, towering over me, his eyes burning with frustration and concern. "Xinyi, I f**king know you're trying to stay in control. But you don't have to smile and laugh to hide it from me."

I blinked rapidly, but the tears betrayed me before I could stop them.

"I… I don't have a choice," I whispered, my voice cracking.

Gege knelt in front of me, just like he used to when I'd scrape my knees as a kid, and without a word, he pulled me into his arms. His embrace was warm and familiar, and the scent of his lotus cologne wrapped around me like a safety net. I buried my face into his shoulder as he rubbed my back softly.

"You don't have to do this," he murmured, his voice gentle, the way he spoke when I cried after losing that rabbit I loved when I was ten. "You don't have to marry someone you don't love."

"But I already agreed," I whispered, half-sobbing, choking on the ache in my throat. "And no one can stop it now."

He pulled back slightly, his hands resting on my shoulders. "We can talk to Dad. We can explain."

I shook my head so fast it made me dizzy. "He has expectations, Gege… I can't break them. Besides… Kai isn't a bad person. He's soft-spoken. He's kind." The lie slipped out before I could catch it.

Gege didn't argue, but he saw right through me. His silence screamed louder than any words.

And still, deep inside me, in the most broken part of my soul, I was screaming for someone—someone far away—someone whose name still burned on my tongue even when I was quiet.

Dante...

Where are you?

Do you even know I'm about to be someone else's bride?

Do you even remember me at all?