I Can't Stay Away

When I walked into school the next morning, something was different.

Not the halls. Not the buzzing fluorescent lights or the peeling "Vote for Prom Court" posters or even the constant hum of teenage angst.

Me. I was different.

Because I had a boyfriend now. Jordan freaking Gallagher was my boyfriend. Not an almost, not a maybe, not a "what even are we?" situation. Actual. Boyfriend.

And judging by the way he was waiting by my locker like he hadn't stopped smiling since last night, he was very aware of it too. "Morning, beautiful," he said, leaning casually against the lockers with a stupidly perfect smirk. I narrowed my eyes. "You've been here for five minutes, haven't you?"

"Ten. But who's counting?" He leaned in and brushed a kiss to my cheek like it was the most normal thing in the world. I let out a breathy laugh. We were really doing this.

Harper spotted us approximately four seconds later and practically sprinted down the hall. "Oh my GOD. Did you guys finally admit you're in love or did I dream that?"

Kaylie popped up behind her, eyes wide. "Wait—this is real? Are we hard launching this? Can I post it? I need approval."

"Absolutely not," I said.

"Too late," she whispered, already taking a stealthy picture of our joined hands. Jordan held my hand up and wiggled our fingers. "We look good."

"You're unbearable."

"I'm your boyfriend. It's allowed."

Harper was already bouncing on her heels. "Okay but when did this happen? How did this happen? Was it a kiss? Multiple kisses? Was there tongue?"

"Harper!" I hissed. Kaylie was grinning like she'd just won the sibling lottery. "I knew it. You've been smiling at toast all week."

Jordan leaned in, voice low just for me. "Told you your toast gives it away." I jabbed his ribs. He caught my hand and didn't let go.

And for once, I didn't mind the attention. Didn't mind the whispering or the stares or the fact that Serena passed us looking like she'd bitten a lemon wedge in hell.

Because this was real. He was real. We were real.

And I think—somewhere between the teasing and the chaos and his hand in mine—I finally let myself believe I could have this. That maybe this was mine to keep.

We made it to first period without any major incidents, unless you count Harper nearly combusting from withheld gossip as one. Jordan sat in the seat behind me like always, except this time, he rested his foot on the rung of my chair and gently nudged it forward every few minutes just to make me turn around. "Do you mind?" I hissed at one point.

"Not at all," he said, smirking.

Mr. Kepler droned on about something involving titration curves, but my mind was far from chem class. Jordan's leg was still resting against mine under the table, and every time he shifted even slightly, I forgot how to balance an equation. At one point, I turned to pass him a worksheet, and our fingers brushed.

Sparks. Real or imagined, I didn't know. I just knew I felt it. When class ended, he leaned in and whispered, "You smell like vanilla and victory." I blinked. "Victory?"

"For owning Serena in the cafeteria yesterday." I rolled my eyes. "You're so weird."

"You love it." Unfortunately... I kind of did.

~~~~

At lunch, Harper and Kaylie were already waiting at the table when we arrived. They'd moved our usual seats so that Jordan and I were directly across from each other, and I didn't miss the glint in their eyes.

"Oh good, the lovers arrive," Harper announced dramatically.

Kaylie leaned her elbows on the table. "Alright. We need to discuss branding."

I frowned. "Branding?"

"For you two. Obviously." She pointed between us. "Are you team Gates-Gallagher? Or Jorlyse? Or—wait—Elydan?"

Jordan choked on his soda. "Please no. We sound like a medication." Harper grinned. "Fine. But if you guys are official now, we need pictures. Memories. A highlight reel for the wedding."

"Harper," I groaned. Jordan shrugged. "Let them plot. I'm just here for the food and your face." Kaylie fake gagged. "You're gross."

"And you're twelve," he replied, grinning.

"I'm fifteen in like, a week."

"Still twelve in sibling years." Kaylie narrowed her eyes. "One day, I will be older than you in attitude alone." Jordan winked. "Doubt it." Harper turned to me. "So is he like, boyfriend-boyfriend now? Like... label and everything?"

"Yep. Made it official last night." Jordan said catching my eyes. I tried- unsuccessfully- to hide the deepening blush from my face.

Harper 'awhed' while Kaylie rolled her eyes. Jordan just smiled and reached for my hand.

~~~~

I had just shoved my last textbook into my bag and was halfway to the student lot when I heard someone jog up behind me.

"Gates," Jordan called.

I turned, already smirking. "You know, you're legally obligated to call me by my full girlfriend title now." He grinned, slowing to a walk beside me. "You're right. Sorry—incredibly gorgeous girlfriend who's way out of my league, can I talk to you for a sec?"

I rolled my eyes, but I was already smiling. "What's up?"

He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly looking… nervous? Jordan Gallagher, who could fake confidence in his sleep, was fidgeting.

"So," he started, "my mom might've invited your family over for dinner tomorrow night."

My eyebrows shot up. "Wait—what? You've like, y'know told her and everything?"

"Well yeah," he said slowing slightly, "you haven't?"

"I've been getting around to it, I swear, it's just a lot at once." I said glancing at him. He didn't look disappointed, he just bit the inside of his cheek and let out a breath. I slowed to search his face. "You're not mad are you?" I asked worried. "No, I'm not, I get I was a little brat when we were younger, and your parents probably don't like me very much." 

"No, no they'll be fine, it's just all new to me... I've never had a boyfriend before." He chuckled for a second like he didn't believe me before seeing my expression. "Really? You? You're perfect, what is wrong with people?" 

"I never wanted a boyfriend before you." He chuckled and bumped my shoulder. "Well, I'm glad to be your first."

"Oh my god," I muttered, rubbing my temple. "My mom is going to be too excited. I'm fully convinced she was sure I'd never get a boyfriend"

Jordan stepped in front of me, gently tugging my backpack strap to stop me from walking. His eyes were soft, serious.

"I wanted to tell you before my mom did. I know it's kind of a big deal—like, families and dinner tables and parents doing that thing where they ask way too many questions while smiling like serial killers." I huffed a laugh. "Accurate."

"But," he added, "I'd really like you to come. Just... be there. With me." I looked up at him. "Yeah?" He gave a small, crooked smile. "Yeah. Plus, I need someone to stop my mom from pulling out baby photos. If you're not there, I'll have no defense." I raised a brow. "Photos, huh? That's tempting."

"I was a very round toddler," he deadpanned. I laughed, then sighed. "Okay. I'll be there. But if your mom starts telling stories, I'm going to need hazard pay." Jordan leaned in, brushing a kiss against my cheek and murmuring, "Deal."

He stepped back with that cocky half-smile I'd grown far too fond of. "See you at six?"

I rolled my eyes, but my heart was already racing. "Only if you bring me a snack."

He started walking backward toward the soccer fields, arms spread. "Already packed an emergency granola bar. I plan ahead now. I'm a responsible boyfriend."

I watched him go, feeling warmth spread through my chest like sunlight.

Dinner with the Gallaghers. What could possibly go wrong?

~~~~

My mom was standing at the counter with her phone in one hand and a travel mug in the other, half-listening to a voicemail. My dad was flipping through the mail like bills offended him personally.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, so... the Gallaghers invited us to dinner tomorrow night." That got their attention. My mom paused mid-sip. "They did?"

"Like, the neighbors?" my dad added, glancing up over his glasses. "We haven't done one of those awkward neighborhood dinners since—what, when Kaylie was in Girl Scouts?"

"I think they just thought it would be nice," I said, pretending to be very invested in picking lint off my sleeve. Mom narrowed her eyes in that lawyer-y way of hers. "Why now?"

I took a breath. This was it. The moment. No turning back.

"Well," I started, shifting my weight. "Because Jordan and I are… together." Dad turned his head, and Mom's eyes widened slightly. "Together as in…?" my dad asked slowly, because apparently we were going to spell it out in small syllables. "Together-together," I said. "Like dating. He's my boyfriend."

Silence.

My mom set down her mug. My dad's eyebrows did this thing where they almost disappeared into his hairline. "Since when?" my mom asked, voice calm but tight, like she was trying very hard to keep it lawyer-neutral. "A little while. I mean, it's new. But it's not not serious." My dad crossed his arms. "Is this the same Jordan Gallagher who used to superglue Legos to our mailbox when he was twelve?"

"Yes."

My mom's eyes narrowed. "The one who made Kaylie cry that one Halloween?" I nodded. "That was five years ago. And she stole his Snickers bar."

"I was eight," Kaylie called from the hallway. My mom sighed and leaned on the counter. "You've never even mentioned him like that before."

"Yeah, well... it kind of happened all at once. And also kind of not at all at once. It's a long story." Dad looked at me for a long second, then said, "Is he good to you?"

And that—somehow—made my chest ache more than the rest of it.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "He really is." They were quiet again. But this time, it wasn't awkward. Just… new. Settling. Shifting.

Finally, my mom picked up her mug again and said, "Okay. Dinner with the Gallaghers. Tomorrow."

I blinked. "Really?"

She shrugged. "If you're going to date the boy next door, we should at least know what we're getting into." My dad grunted in reluctant agreement. "I'll bring wine."

I didn't realize how tense I'd been until I felt my shoulders relax. I walked out of the kitchen trying not to smile too hard.

Because that? That could've gone a lot worse.

~~~~

I was half-distracted, pretending to work on homework while really scrolling through Kaylie's playlist, when I heard the all-too-familiar:

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I didn't even bother to look up. "You're so predictable, Gallagher."

"Then why'd you leave the window unlocked?" came his voice, smug as ever.

I turned, trying not to smile as he climbed through—sweaty soccer uniform, grass-stained socks, hair damp and pushed back from his forehead. The string lights made his skin glow gold and soft, even if his presence was anything but subtle.

"Practice just ended," he said, dropping his bag near my desk like he'd done it a hundred times before. "I figured you were dying to hear how I dominated midfield."

"You're getting sweat on my rug."

He flopped onto my bed with a dramatic groan. "Your rug loves me."

I threw a pillow at his head. He caught it one-handed and grinned. "Wow. Violent. Romantic."

"Jordan."

"Elyse."

I rolled my eyes but walked over, tugging the pillow out of his hands and using it to swat his shoulder. "Why are you here? You've got a big family dinner tomorrow, remember?" He reached for my wrist, gently pulling me down to sit beside him. "I know. That's kind of why I came." I blinked. "Okay…"

He leaned back, resting against the headboard, stretching long legs out in front of him. "Tomorrow's a lot. Your parents. My mom. Steve. All of us in the same room, pretending to be normal."

"Terrifying," I agreed.

"But tonight," he said, looking at me, "I just wanted… this. Just you. Just here. Before they start asking if we've thought about college housing and joint bank accounts." I smiled softly and leaned my head against his shoulder. "You're overthinking."

"Probably. But you make it hard to think straight."

I laughed under my breath. "You're gross."

"You like it."

"Unfortunately."

He glanced at me sideways, his voice a little quieter. "Think your parents would freak if they knew I was here right now?" I tilted my head. "Depends. Are you planning on sleeping in my bed again?"

"Only if invited." I nudged him with my elbow, but didn't pull away. After a second, I reached for his hand. He laced our fingers together without hesitation. "So what's the game plan tomorrow?" I asked.

"We survive." I laughed. "Solid plan." Jordan looked over at me again, a little more serious this time. "Hey, Gates?"

"Yeah?" He hesitated for a second, like something was sitting heavy on his chest. Then he said, "Thanks. For still letting me in. Even after all the crap I pulled before." I squeezed his hand. "You're here now. That's what matters."

He nodded. "Still. I don't take it for granted." A long pause. The kind that settles over the room when everything feels okay. Simple. Safe.

Then Jordan smirked. "Also I need a snack. Got anything?"

"You're the worst."

"And yet—" he grinned, leaning over to kiss my cheek, "—you keep letting me in." I stood, dragging him up by the wrist. "Come on, Gallagher. Let's find you some substance before you pass out on my floor."

"As long as I get to come back here after."

"You always do."

We ended up back in my room twenty minutes later, after he raided our snack cabinet. He was now sitting cross-legged on my bed, munching on trail mix like it was gourmet, while I curled up beside him, flipping through the pages of a textbook I definitely wasn't reading.

"You're not even pretending to study anymore," he said, flicking a pretzel at me. I caught it midair. "Says the guy who's messing up my comforter with trail mix."

He grinned, completely unbothered. "You love it."

"You're lucky you're cute." He gave a mock gasp. "Did you just call me cute? In full sentence form? With witnesses?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't make me take it back."

Jordan shifted so he was leaning back on his elbows, head tilted toward me, that grin fading into something softer. "You know what's crazy?" he said quietly. I looked up. "What?" He let out a slow breath. "I used to climb up here just to annoy you. And now… I climb up here just to breathe." The silence that followed was so full I felt it in my chest. I set the book down and turned toward him. "Jordan…"

"I mean it," he said. "Practice was long, and the guys were being loud, and Coach was in one of his moods. But I kept thinking… if I can just get to you. If I can just be in this room, I'll be okay." My throat tightened. "You don't always have to be okay, you know." He looked at me, serious now. "I know. But when I'm here, I feel like I could be."

I crawled across the bed until I was beside him, pulling the blanket over both of us. His arm wrapped around my waist instinctively. "Weird, huh?" I whispered. "How fast this all feels." He nodded, resting his forehead against mine. "Like we've been on the edge of this for a long time, and now we're finally letting it happen." I brushed his hair back from his forehead. "What do we do if it gets scary?"

"Then we get scared together."

I smiled at that.

Then he reached into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. "Meant to give you this earlier, but you were too busy throwing M&Ms at me."

I opened it carefully. His messy handwriting filled the page:

"To: The girl I used to 'accidentally' hit with soccer balls just to get her attention.From: The idiot who now knows you deserve every kind of softness.Tomorrow will be chaos. But tonight's just ours.Come up to the roof with me. One last first."

My heart thudded. "You're ridiculous," I whispered, touched beyond words. He kissed my temple. "Yeah, but you're the one who fell for me." I looked down at the note again, smiling so wide it hurt. "Okay. Let's make it a good first."

Jordan leaned down, voice low against my ear. "It already is."

~~~~

It was just after ten when we crept out of the house.

The night air was crisp, laced with the scent of honeysuckle and distant rain. Jordan's hand was wrapped around mine, his thumb brushing slow circles over my knuckles like it was second nature. We didn't talk much as we crossed the backyard, the world hushed in that in-between hour when even the streetlights seemed to whisper.

He helped me climb onto the garage ledge, then up the side railing, and finally onto the roof of the detached shed behind his house. I'd been up here once when we were kids—chasing a runaway Frisbee. It hadn't felt like this.

Now, the roof was covered in an old quilt. A string of fairy lights had been strung along the edge, powered by a battery pack and held up by command hooks. There were two pillows. A small speaker. A bag of kettle corn. And Jordan Gallagher looking at me like this wasn't just a rooftop—like it was the beginning of something real.

"I know it's not much," he said, shoving a hand through his hair. "I just wanted to do something... different. Something that felt like us." I walked forward slowly, heart thudding. "It's perfect."

He smiled and sat down, pulling me down beside him. The roof creaked gently under our weight. Above us, the sky stretched wide and star-dotted. Below us, the town glowed gold and sleepy.

"Do you bring all your girlfriends up here?" I teased.

He gave me a look. "Do you think I have roof rotation?"

I smirked. "Just asking."

He bumped his shoulder into mine. "No. Just you. Always just you." A quiet fell between us, soft and full. Then he pressed play on the speaker.

Music floated out—low, slow, something acoustic. Familiar. One of the songs from the playlist I'd made for him months ago, the one I thought he'd ignored.

"You listened," I said, a little stunned.

"Of course I listened," he said, nudging me. "It's basically a musical blueprint to your soul."

I flushed. "God, you're such a dork."

"You love it."

"I do," I whispered. "You remember earlier," I said softly, "when you asked what we do if it gets scary?" He nodded. "Yeah." I looked up at him. "Then promise me something else."

"Anything."

"Promise you won't ever make me guess how you feel again. Just... tell me. Even if it's messy. Even if you think I won't want to hear it." His brows pulled together, but he nodded. "I promise."

"Good," I said. "Because I really, really like you, Jordan Gallagher. Even when you're sweaty and dramatic and eat all my food." He grinned. "I really, really like you too. Even when you steal all the blanket and roll your eyes at my jokes."

"I roll my eyes because your jokes are bad."

"They're hilarious, and you know it."

I didn't answer.

Instead, I kissed him.

It started slow. Sweet. Like we were still feeling our way through something new and breakable. But then his hand slid up my back and mine tangled in his hair and the space between us disappeared.

The kiss deepened, stealing my breath, making my legs forget how to work. His lips were warm, a little desperate, like he'd been waiting for this all night. Maybe longer. Maybe always.

When we finally pulled apart, I was flushed and breathless and pressed against him like gravity itself was in on the secret. His forehead rested against mine. "Elyse?"

"Yeah?"

"This is the best date I've ever been on." I smiled. "It's your only date, Gallagher. Don't get cocky."

He chuckled. "Still. It's pretty perfect."

And with his arms around me, the town below us, and the sky wide above, I had to agree.

It really was.