CHAPTER 18: WEIRD UNCLE

High above the cursed forest, in the Tokyo Jujutsu High surveillance room, the Goodwill Event played out across multiple screens like an anime binge session. Monitors flickered with live feeds: Maki vs. Mai, Panda's rampage, Todo's sudden brotherly obsession—it was chaotic brilliance.

And right in the center of it all sat Satoru Gojo, sprawled lazily in a chair with his blindfold slightly tilted and a half-eaten bag of chips on his lap.

"Whoa! Maki with the overhead slam! She's got that true Tokyo spirit—GO MY CHILD, GO!" Gojo yelled at the screen, tossing popcorn into his mouth… and missing.

From behind, the door slid open.

Enter Utahime Iori—elegant, stern, and visibly annoyed.

"Ohhh, Miss Disappointment," Gojo grinned, without turning around. "You're just in time for the worst play-by-play commentary of your life!"

Utahime sighed heavily, walking past him with her tea in hand. "You're as immature as ever."

Gojo stood, arms wide like a grand conductor. "Correction—I'm delightfully immature. It's an art form."

Just as she was about to respond, Gojo shouted, "MAKI WITH THE BROOMSTICK ENERGY—AND MAI STILL CAN'T HIT A SHOT!"

Splash!

Without warning, Utahime threw her entire cup of hot tea at Gojo's face.

…It stopped mid-air.

The scalding liquid hovered like magic in front of him, caught in the barrier of his cursed technique: Infinity.

Gojo tapped the floating tea with one finger and spun it like a globe. "Oh nooo~ I've been mortally wounded~ Someone call Shoko!"

"You're impossible," Utahime muttered.

Grinning, Gojo extended a hand and lightly tugged at her cheek.

"Cheer up. I made you tea-colored art."

Suddenly—

SLAM!

The surveillance room doors swung open again, revealing a stunning figure in flowing robes, long silver hair brushing her shoulders.

It was Mei Mei, the ever-composed Grade 1 sorcerer, flanked by her quiet and ever-serious little brother, Ui Ui.

"Yooo Mei Mei!" Gojo waved with both arms. "Lookin' fabulous as always. And little Ui Ui—man, you grew two inches!"

Gojo leaned down and ruffled Ui Ui's head.

Ui Ui knocked his hand off with a single swipe.

"You are a dumb old-aged uncle," he said coldly.

Gojo froze. The surveillance room went silent. Even the cursed energy on the monitors seemed to hold its breath.

Utahime burst out laughing in the corner.

Gojo's lips twitched. "O-old…? But I moisturize…"

Mei Mei sipped her tea calmly. "He means your hair. White hair does that."

"IT'S A STYLE CHOICE!!" Gojo wailed dramatically, flopping onto a chair.

Ui Ui gave him a sideways glance and turned his back, arms crossed like a little noble.

Mei Mei chuckled. "Looks like he doesn't like talking to people with bad fashion sense."

Utahime smirked, walking over and patting Gojo's shoulder. "At least someone finally said it."

Gojo buried his face in a pillow. "I'm surrounded by traitors…"

Meanwhile, on the screen…

Itadori and Todo unleashed another earth-shattering combo attack, prompting Gojo to instantly leap up and cheer.

"MY STUDENT! MY CRAZY STUDENT! I'M SO PROUD I COULD CRY!!"

Mei Mei sipped her tea without blinking.

"Are you sure you're the teacher in this situation?" she asked.

Utahime nodded. "Honestly, I've been wondering that since day one."

Gojo just grinned. "I may not be the best role model…"

He paused dramatically.

"…But I am the most entertaining one."