Chapter 219

Explosions of gunpowder, tremors of the earth, torn screams, thick scent of blood.

Memories like inseparable shadows.

Leonardo wandered in a terrible nightmare, consumed by these memories.

Whispers of resentment dug into his ears as if to devour him, causing loud tinnitus. It sounded like human screams, or perhaps rusty metal. Either way, it was not at all welcome.

Something hot flowed from his brain to his eyes and down his spine. The thick blood vessels connected to his heart shuddered at the tingling sensation. Soon after, it turned into extreme pain that spread throughout his body along the peripheral nerves. Along with this, his hazy consciousness, growing distant, dragged him back to the battlefield once again.

Standing in the midst of explosions that seemed to tear off his eardrums, his sense of reality often dulled. He would fall into a state of panic, unable to move a leg even as bombs rained down overhead.

At such times, the surroundings, turned into a mess, were strewn with fierce flames and droplets of blood. Pale hands approached through the red feast, grabbing at skin and hair.

His head tilted back, and his neck bent limply. As his airway opened, stinging dust rushed in. He coughed, and at some point, his breath was cut off. The white hands grasped his neck.

Leonardo, his pupils turned white and rolled back, twisted his body while making choking sounds. As he opened his mouth, gasping for air, his internal organs felt as if they were burning.

Along with this, the curse in his ears raised its voice. It screamed as if to snatch away his mind. In the midst of the overwhelming hallucinations, he could do nothing. He could only suffer, hoping for liberation.

"...do."

At that moment, a familiar voice knocking on the door of his consciousness approached. The faintly heard sound was both unclear and familiar.

It seemed he had had a similar experience before, and perhaps because of this, he was able to concentrate more easily than before. As he cleared away the unpleasant whispers one by one, the muffled sound became clear. His eyeballs, which were about to roll back, found their place. His clouded vision was becoming clear.

Soon, as he could breathe again, albeit faintly, the voice from earlier once more pierced his ears.

"Leonardo-!"

The moment he heard Hugo's voice cutting through the roar, his half-closed golden eyes flew open.

"Huk, kuk-"

Along with a choked groan, the first things Leonardo became aware of were the golden flames surrounding him, the ominous roar like bombs exploding, and the vast, uncontrolled mana and his own two hands strangling his neck.

His hands were clenched so tightly that his entire forearms were tinged purple. Veins bulged grotesquely on the backs of his hands, and liquid, whether blood or saliva, flowed from the corners of his mouth.

Bewildered, he tried to move his shoulders and forearms, but contrary to his will, his hands wouldn't loosen at all. As they tightened even more, veins stood out on Leonardo's temples and forehead. His confused face turned pale, almost ashen, and things that couldn't become words flowed from between his stiffened lips.

On the verge of death from suffocation, Leonardo unknowingly raised his fingernails and clawed at his neck. His conscious self hoped that this act would stop.

"Leo, calm down! You mustn't lose your mind!"

However, what freed him from this self-harm was not, unexpectedly, the nails digging into his nape. It was Hugo's desperate voice, indistinguishable in its origin.

Sharp currents entangled with mana swirled all around. Because of this, the other's figure was hardly visible in his dizzy vision. But as Hugo's successive shouts shook his consciousness, Leonardo's fingers, which hadn't been moving, gradually twitched.

His fingertips, which had been holding on to the point of bending their joints, at some point fell away from his neck as if they had been struck off.

"Ughk, heuk-, huk."

On the pale neck thus revealed were clear bruises in the shape of handprints. However, unable to check the state of his own neck, Leonardo only breathed roughly, his upper body heaving. Though the air was murky with volcanic ash and gas, even the small amount of oxygen entering allowed him to think properly at last.

At the same time, as the events up until now flashed by like a kaleidoscope, his heated spine suddenly turned cold.

'Was I just trying to kill myself?'

All around, as if Armageddon had been cast, rocks containing flames fell, bringing roars and shockwaves. Lava flames occasionally flickered through the black smoke screen, and the screams of monsters and the roar of nature made the chaotic situation feel real.

He couldn't remember clearly what had happened after stabbing the mother body. He only vaguely recalled that it had returned to 'nothingness' along with the light of the sacred spear, entering eternal rest.

But the problem started after that. As if it were the price for power, the sacred spear gradually expanded its domain, exceeding the range he could control. Then it began to suck in things around it one by one, and eventually tried to swallow even himself.

Struggling in the gap of distorted space-time, he was barely able to escape only after releasing his mana. After that, everything before his eyes was painted in darkness, and when his vision occasionally brightened, all that lingered was the image of himself unable to control his power, and Agrizendro's voice chasing after him.

Leonardo, his face shocked as he traced his memories, wrapped his arms around his body and hunched over. His whole body trembled. Until just now, he had thought that the things strangling his neck were the resentment following him, but he realized that wasn't the case.

The ideological education constantly instilled in S-grade mages in the Imperial Army. One of these was 'to take one's own life if on the verge of going berserk'. This was to minimize the damage that could occur from a mage with powerful mana going berserk.

If the person going berserk was S-grade, just controlling them would require an enormous amount of time and manpower. If casualties occurred in the process, it was common for mages of equal rank to engage in a bloody battle afterward, leading to annihilation.

Therefore, the Imperial Army's policy was for the individual to take their own life before an accident occurred, meeting an honorable death. His self, thoroughly brainwashed by this ideological education, had unconsciously strangled his own neck when on the verge of going berserk.

As this thought occurred to him, the consciousness he had just regained began to shake madly. He was extremely anxious, not knowing when his hands might strangle his neck again. Fear crept in, consuming him from head to toe.

Only one thought entered Leonardo's mind. He had to get as far away from people as possible and take the stabilizer given by Alec Siles.

Having barely made this decision, he hurriedly changed direction while rummaging through his inner pocket with trembling hands. Even in the midst of confusion, he had carefully put the glass bottle containing the pills in his inner pocket. He had even cast a reinforcement spell on it just in case, so he could only hope it had held up well inside.

As Leonardo desperately wished, as he felt around his chest, his fingertips touched a round surface. As soon as a tingling thrill flowed through his fingers, Leonardo grasped it and pulled it out.

Then, just as he urgently removed the cork from the glass bottle,

Changgrang-!

Due to the mana that was difficult to control and his grip strength, the glass bottle shattered with a chilling sound.

His golden eyes, fallen into despair, widened greatly, not even realizing that his lower eyelid had been scratched by a sharp fragment.

"Ah."

He, who had let out a sigh mixed with futility, immediately tried to grab the pills slipping through his fingers.

As he threw his body downward following gravity in a fluster, fortunately, he saw a piece of the fallen pill caught in a crevice between rocks. Although more than half had been crushed and it was very small, he didn't know what would happen if he didn't eat even that.

However, every situation was unfairly against him. Fierce rocks pouring down from above mercilessly struck the spot where his gaze was fixed.

"Ah, no-!"

Kwaaang-!

His voice, filled with anguish, scattered, buried under the roar. The spot, which had been deeply dented as if bombarded in an instant, was left with only sizzling rock fragments. The white pill, which had been his last hope, could no longer be found even a trace of.

"...Ah."

Looking at the hope that had turned to dust before his eyes, Leonardo only uttered intermittent sounds. His bloodshot eyes wouldn't stop trembling. He couldn't even blink as stinging ash particles wounded him.

Despair enveloped his entire body, and he grasped his face and head with both hands. Shaking his head as if to deny reality, he dug his fingernails into his hair. At the same time, uncontrolled mana ran wild throughout his body. Finally, a desperate scream rose to his throat.

"Ugh, uk, uuk."

However, when his blocked throat opened, what came up from his airway was not a scream. Hot liquid gushed out. Unable to hold back the nausea, he gasped and vomited, and black clots of blood came up, soaking the front of his clothes.

He had never vomited this much blood even when severely injured. Seeing his condition deteriorate uncontrollably, Leonardo, his eyes filled with shock, covered his mouth with his hand.

With each drop of blood falling between his trembling fingers, his mind collapsed rapidly.

"Leo!"

Kwaaang-!

And at that moment, Agrizendro's voice, which had only been heard from afar, now resonated from quite nearby.

Due to the destructive sound that rang out at almost the same time as the shout, Leonardo flinched and raised his head. The numerous rock chunks falling overhead were instantly half-destroyed, and through the gap, a man with gleaming blue eyes approached him.

Hugo's figure, entangled in the swirling currents of mana, was so cut and scratched that it was hard to find an uninjured spot. As he seemed to rush towards him through the vortex formed around him, Leonardo began to flee deeper into the abyss to prevent Hugo from approaching.

"Don't, don't come near!"

He was now on the verge of going berserk, or rather, already in a state no different from berserk. If he allowed someone to come near him in this situation, he might unintentionally tear them apart with his mana.

He had been stressed throughout his entry into the peninsula due to his uncontrolled ability. It wasn't difficult for those memories to become a fuse, plunging him into panic from fear of going berserk.

Leonardo, who had now lost trust in himself, didn't stop even at Hugo's shouts from behind.

His skin felt as if it was burning, and his vision flashed as he lost his mind. Just as all sorts of sensations mixed and poked at his sensitive nerves, suddenly his vision rapidly darkened.