I Want To End It All.

THALIA

I wheezed out sharply as my eyes shot open, I was sleeping on my side, and the beeping sound of the computer or machine, whatever I was staring at that drew inaccurate lines that ran along the screen filled my ears.

Where am I?

An awful sterile stench filled my nostrils and I tried to turn on my back, which resulted in a painful groan emanating from my lips. My body was on fire… excruciating pain coursed through every inch of my nerves and I hissed out terribly.

What had happened?

Then it occurred to me that I must have passed out while I was being flogged. Tears eroded in my eyes… like a heat wave, I remembered how they were pointing fingers, laughing, and cheering as I was being whipped.

I managed to maneuver and sit on the bed. I stared at the bright light on the ceiling, the white walls, and the plain blue gown I was wearing.

What is going on?

Am I not dead? A part of me had hoped to be dead, at least my sufferings would come to an end.

I glanced around and no one was in the room with me. Before I could put one or two puzzles together, the door slid open and a young lady wearing a white coat and reading glasses hanging on the bridge of her nose stepped in.

She had a notepad in her arm and when she looked up towards me, her eyes widened, and she rushed over to me. "You're awake?" She questioned, her voice had a tinge of relief in it.

She dropped the notepad she carried with her on the bed and used the back of her hand to touch my forehead. "You are still burning up," she creased her brows at me.

I tried to speak, but I felt paralyzed in my mouth, I felt so weak and nauseous at the same time.

"It must be as a result of the wolfsbane," she mumbled worriedly, and my eyes bugged out.

"Wolfsbane?" I managed to speak and she sighed.

"Yes," she confirmed, and I gasped.

"While examining the wounds on your back, we detected some wolfsbane in your system, but luckily, you were strong enough to fight it off," she informed further.

"Which is quite rare for an omega," she mused.

I wasn't an omega I was only demoted to being an omega.

"H-how long have I been here?" I muttered.

"Two days," she responded.

What?

I've been unconscious for two days?

Moreover, how was there wolfsbane in my system? That means someone must have been trying to kill me. The flogging was just a front, the main aim was to kill me.

"Who are you and where am I?" I questioned instead.

She gave a small smile before responding, "Call me Dr. Leticia and you are in the pack's hospital."

Pack's hospital? I scoffed.

So, they had the guts to bring me to the hospital after punishing me for a crime I didn't commit. How thoughtful of them!

Was it not better if they had left me there to rot and just die? Why bring me to the hospital to treat me?

"Is something wrong?" Dr. Leticia stared at me worriedly, and I chuckled slightly, blinking my eyes to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

I hated myself.

I hated that I was nothing but weak.

I need to leave here… a subconscious part of me screamed at me to run away from everything—away from the pack and never return, but another part of me wanted answers while another part of me just wanted to give up and die.

I think I'd rather pick the latter.

I tried to stand up from the bed, but Dr. Leticia stopped me. "Where do you think you're going? The wounds on your back are serious and need time to heal and will eventually become a huge scar, but for now, you need to rest," she said.

Did she just say rest?

I don't think I'd ever recalled the meaning of the word since my younger sister disappeared and even right now that she was back, I still didn't know the purpose of the word, 'rest.'

"Hold on," Dr. Leticia straightened herself and walked closer to the beeping monitor.

"Mm, your vitals seem to be responding just fine at the moment." She grabbed her notepad, adjusting the ridge of her glasses on her nose, and scribbled something down on the notepad.

She turned to look at me, she patted my arm slightly, "Everything will be fine… in the meantime, have plenty of rest, I will get the nurse to bring your meal," she said. She smiled briefly before walking out of the room.

Immediately she was out of sight, I stood up from the bed, removing whatever tape and drip attached to my body.

I sneaked out of the hospital.

On getting to my room, everything had turned upside down, the little room I called a safe place had been disorganized and turned to shreds.

I sniffed, swallowing hard as I stepped further into the room.

My feet grew weak, unable to walk anymore, I collapsed to the ground.

I'm so tired!

Why was all of this happening to me?

Why me?

I just want to end it all. What was the point of living if my life was going to be nothing but worthless?

My parents hated and despised me, I'm sure they don't see me as their blood and have disowned me. The quadruplets hated my guts more than anything, and the sister I have is doing everything within her power to put me in more trouble I can cater for and have her revenge.

Staring at the broken pieces of mirror on the floor, my clothes left in a messy, disarrayed state and scattered everywhere, I made up my mind.

It was better if I was no longer alive.

I crawled to the drawer and searched for a pocket knife I had in my possession. It was something precious Mael had given me to protect myself from danger when we were kids, but right now, I was going to use that same pocket knife to take my own life.

I finally found the pocket knife and I pressed it against my neck, my fingers trembling.

I hope everyone gets what they deserve, as for me this was what I deserved.

Hot tears were flowing freely from my face as I shut my eyes closed and bit hard on my lower lip.

This was it.

This was the end, at least I'd hoped for Mother and Father to tell me they loved me before dismissal, but I guess I won't be getting any of that.

Maybe after my death…

I was the disgrace of a child they had, but not anymore because I was going to help them clear my existence for good.

I pressed the sharp edge of the knife against my skin, and a mild sting as I felt my blood dripping down, and just as I was about to swipe my hand in a forceful state for the final act—

Someone grabbed my arm.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"