A Basement Wizard’s First Convention
Min Jae should've known better.
Any email that began with "Congratulations, esteemed arcane vendor!" and ended with "free badge included!" was never going to lead to anything good.
He reread it again, just to be sure.
> To: Wizard Min Jae
We are pleased to invite you to the 29th Annual Multi-Realm Magical Convention (MRMC), hosted in the glorious and extremely overfunded floating city of Ardyn Spire!
As a newly registered Artisan of Unconventional Magic, your attendance is not mandatory, but very heavily expected.
Note: There will be judging. Also snacks.
– MRMC Committee
He stared at the line: "very heavily expected."
"That's fantasy language for 'show up or we throw you in a dungeon,'" he muttered.
Goji attempted to eat the laptop.
---
Packing for a Fantasy Convention
Min Jae packed light.
One set of decent clothes that didn't scream "guy who lives with his mom"
Three bags of banana chips
His stove, two power banks, duct tape, and a collapsible rice cooker
A fresh stack of glow crystals labeled "Mood Balancers" (he planned to sell them as anxiety cures)
Goji (against his better judgment)
Yulena had warned him, "Conventions are breeding grounds for scams, fireballs, and romantic prophecies."
Min Jae replied, "You had me until the last one."
He left through the trapdoor.
---
Arrival in Ardyn Spire
He emerged on a landing platform shaped like a crescent moon, floating in midair.
Above him rose towers of silver and glass held up by anti-gravity magic, clouds drifting through their windows. Stairs moved on their own. Floating orbs carried luggage. And the air smelled like burned incense and overpriced perfumes.
"Welcome to Ardyn Spire," a voice said. A tiny gnome in a purple waistcoat bowed and handed him a badge.
Name: Wizard Min Jae
Affiliation: Basement Wizardry
Specialization: Improvisational Transmutation and Culinary Alchemy
Booth: Row H, Table 9 ¾
"Oh no," he muttered. "They Harry Pottered me."
Goji bleated and chased a floating taco.
---
The Convention Floor
The convention floor was massive. Vendors shouted over one another. Illusion spells flickered overhead. Someone had a booth selling wands that sang when you shook them. Another booth offered enchanted teacups that bit your enemies.
A banner read:
> "Meet the Sorcerer CEO of CauldronTech!"
"Spells as a Service. Cloud-based Hexing. Monthly Plans."
Min Jae muttered, "And I thought Silicon Valley was bad."
At his booth, he laid out his stuff: glowing crystals, waffle kits, and "instant ramen spell packs."
He plugged in his rice cooker, set out a sample plate, and turned on his smile.
People came. And people laughed.
Some thought it was satire. Some thought it was genius. One guy bought 10 waffle kits, saying, "These are enchanted with the spirit of brunch."
Min Jae said, "Yes. Totally. Brunch magic."
---
Panel of Doom
"Your attendance at the Artisan Roundtable is mandatory," said a sharp voice.
A lizard woman in official robes dragged him to a conference room with a sign:
> "Artisan Innovators: Legal Loopholes or True Trailblazers?"
Min Jae sat between a dwarven tech-bro who sold "magical NFTs" and a masked guy in a feather cape calling himself "The Profit Prophet."
Across from him sat Judge Clorb, looking annoyed already.
They began:
Moderator: "Min Jae, you claim your methods are safe and effective, but you're using non-magical tools. Should that be allowed?"
Min Jae: "I once made fire noodles that solved a village rat problem. That's both culinary and pest control magic."
The Profit Prophet: "I predicted you'd say that."
Clorb: "You're not a real prophet."
The Profit Prophet: "I profit, not prophesy. Learn the brand."
Chaos erupted.
---
Things Go Slightly Boom
Back at the convention floor, someone cast a teleportation spell inside the ramen booth.
It hit the rice cooker.
There was a boom. Noodles launched skyward. Screaming. Yelling. A lightning bolt hit the taco stand.
Goji fled carrying a glittery donut.
Min Jae dived behind his booth and yelled, "THIS IS WHY I DON'T DO MAGIC!"
Security mages flooded the floor. Magical duct tape spells patched walls.
Someone declared, "Waffle Wizard Incites Noodle War!"
And just like that, Min Jae was famous.
---
Aftermath and Offers
Back in a quiet tavern on Level Three of the floating city, Min Jae sat nursing a magical ginger ale, his phone buzzing nonstop.
He had:
72 new orders
A licensing offer from a bakery in another realm
A job proposal from CauldronTech ("We like your entrepreneurial disruption.")
Judge Clorb sat down next to him with a sigh.
"You are the single most unconventional disaster we've allowed into the guild," he muttered.
"Thank you," Min Jae replied, sipping his drink.
"Your paperwork has quadrupled."
"I deserve that."
"And your goat's banned from public spaces."
Min Jae grinned. "He'll be heartbroken."
---
Back to the Basement
Min Jae returned home late that night.
He stepped into his quiet room, laptop glowing on the desk. Goji jumped onto the bed and curled up next to a glowing crate of waffles.
Min Jae sat down and typed:
> New Product Listing
"Emergency Noodle Bundle – Officially Convention-Proven."
He paused, then added:
> "May cause spicy explosions. Use with caution. Or don't. I'm not your mom."
He hit publish.
Orders rolled in.
And across both worlds, people began whispering about the basement wizard with snacks, sarcasm, and suspiciously effective non-magic magic.