Yueyao felt like her chest had been split open. She forced a smile that was more painful than any wound, "No, baby… no. Daddy is just… busy."
Busy loving someone else. Busy building a life away from them. Busy erasing her existence from his world.
Shen Xuan lowered his gaze to the floor, his fingers tightening around his stuffed rabbit.
He didn't cry or ask further. Instead, his tiny lips pressed into a thin line, his small jaw tightening in silent resentment.
At that moment, Yueyao realised something that was so chilling.
He didn't blame Shen Xiao. He blamed her.
Because to him, Daddy was perfect. Daddy was gentle when he visited Bai Zhi. Daddy smiled when he was with her. Daddy was always busy with "important work," while Mommy was just… here. Crying. Weak. Pathetic.
She reached out to him, wanting to pull him into her arms, to shield him from the cold reality of their home, but Shen Xuan stepped back ever so slightly. His eyes didn't meet hers. His small chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, his little shoulders tense.
"Xuan'er…" she whispered, her voice cracking. "Come here… please."
Slowly, he walked to her and let her hug him, but his body remained stiff in her embrace.
His tiny arms didn't wrap around her neck like they used to. He only stood there, enduring her touch in silence, his eyes staring blankly over her shoulder.
And in that silence, Yueyao felt her soul crumble.
Her son… her only reason to endure this life… no longer saw her as his safety.
He saw her as the obstacle to his father's happiness.
That night, as she tucked Shen Xuan into bed, he turned his back to her and pulled his stuffed rabbit close to his chest.
His small voice floated into the silence, soft and muffled by his pillow:
"Mommy… why can't you be like Aunt Bai? Daddy smiles when he's with her…"
Yueyao felt her knees weaken. She grabbed the edge of the bed to steady herself, her tears falling onto the sheets.
"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Xuan'er…" she whispered, her voice trembling as she reached out to stroke his hair. "Mommy will try… I will try harder…" For him, she would do anything, for him, she would endure anything for him to have a complete family.
But he didn't respond. He only curled up tighter, shutting her out completely.
That night, Yueyao sat beside Shen Xuan's bed until the first light of dawn crept through the curtains, her tears long dried, her heart cold and empty.
She finally understood.
She could spend ten years, twenty years, her entire life loving Shen Xiao, but it would always remain just that.
Her love. Her wishful thinking.
And worst of all, her son… her own son… no longer saw her as his mother, but as the woman standing in the way of his father's happiness.
When Shen Xuan's breathing finally evened out in sleep, she rose shakily to her feet. Her body felt heavy, her limbs numb as she walked out of his room, closing the door gently behind her.
She dragged her feet down the dark hallway, past the cold silent dining hall, until she reached the master bedroom.
She paused at the doorway for a long moment, staring at the vast, empty room before stepping inside.
If it weren't for her pregnancy, none of this would have happened. She wouldn't have been forced into this marriage, wouldn't have become the scapegoat for things she never did. Her parents were long gone, leaving her alone in this world with only her son as family… but what now?