He thrust into her over and over, each movement like a punishment. As if it was her fault he couldn't love her. As if her mere existence offended him.
She stared up at him through blurred vision. His expression was cold, almost bored, and yet, in that photo, he had looked at Bai Zhi with such tender affection as if she were a treasure.
It turned out he was capable of gentleness and showing his emotions. It was just never with her. He never belonged to her to begin with.
At the height of it, when she should have felt close to him, Yueyao felt only suffocation. A single tear slipped down her cheek feeling disgusted.
She no longer desired him, she no longer wished to be his wife. Only nonchalance was replaced in her heart.
"What are you crying for?" Shen Xiao wiped it away with a flick of his thumb, uncaring and at the same time disgusted. He pulled out abruptly and turned away to clean himself.
When he returned, he tossed a small silver box onto the bed. It was birth control pills.
Yueyao sat up slowly, clutching the blanket to her chest. She reached for the pills with trembling fingers.
Their marriage had never been made public no matter how good she had tried to be to her husband.
Five years ago, an unplanned pregnancy had forced their families to arrange a secret wedding. It had been enough to drive Bai Zhi away back then and she was blamed for all these.
Shen Xiao probably hated her for that. Otherwise, why would he break her every night, using her body but never giving her his heart?
"Can I… skip it tonight?" Yueyao asked softly, her voice almost inaudible. She just looked soulless and no longer wished for the comfort or sympathy from him. She just wasn't feeling well.
Shen Xiao didn't bother to reply to her. He held the glass of water and handed it over to her.
The message was very clear. There's nothing like forfeiting it today, once was a mistake and that shouldn't be repeated.
Biting back her tears, Yueyao swallowed the pill, before she could even put the glass down, Shen Xiao's phone rang.
It was in the bedside drawer; he strode over and received the call.
"Mm… okay. I will be right there." His voice softened ever so slightly and not like the voice he had used on her.
Yueyao's heart twisted painfully.
"Where are you going?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.
"It's none of your business." Shen Xiao hurriedly dressed up before he pulled on his coat and left without looking back.
Yueyao watched his figure disappear down the hallway without looking back and only the faint scent of his cologne remained in the room, reminding her that he had just left their room.
Suddenly, a sharp cramp twisted her stomach. Yueyao curled up on the bed, clutching herself tightly as cold sweat dampened her forehead.
Moments later, a light knock sounded at the bedroom door, "Young Madam, would you like to handle Master Shen's and Young Master Shen Xuan's laundry, or will you do it later? How about we do it?" It was Aunt Mei, the elderly housekeeper who has been around for several years now informing her.
Yueyao forced herself up, her vision swimming, "I will do it now."
She staggered to the laundry room, each step feeling like her bones were splintering from within.
As she approached the laundry room, she heard two maids whispering inside.