45: We don’t belong together
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Lucas boarded the carriage right after Irene, sitting silently in front of her for a few seconds, watching as she removed her coat and set it aside. He furrowed his brows and said:
— "Why are you taking off your coat?… Are you really that upset over a silly dance?"
But Irene… had reached her limit with him. She couldn't even stand his voice anymore.
She looked out the window, and her reply came out as cold as a winter breeze:
— "I'm not cold. Thank you for your concern."
He sighed with faint sarcasm but said nothing more.
The road to the palace wasn't long…
But Irene's body had been completely drained.
She closed her eyes and kept herself still the entire ride, trying to escape even from her own weary body.
Lucas glanced at her for a moment, then said:
— "Seems like you lied about how well you slept this morning."
She opened her eyes slowly and murmured in an exhausted tone:
— "You're the one who said I was tossing and turning all night… I'm just tired."
He paused for a moment, then suddenly asked:
— "Why didn't you wear the necklace I bought you?"
Irene gave a soft, bitter laugh that escaped her unwillingly, then said:
— "Was I supposed to wear it just to flaunt our marriage in front of everyone? To make it look perfect?
To say that my husband—who couldn't even finish two parts of the dance—got me an expensive necklace?
You're right… maybe I should've worn it.
Maybe it would've made it a bit easier for me."
She thought bitterly to herself:
"How ironic… now he asks about the necklace he gave me after saying those words…
That he's miserable because of me?
Did he mean that because he couldn't marry that girl instead? Seriously?"
Lucas scowled and said angrily:
— "I was just asking… to know if you liked it or not."
But Irene cut him off quickly, her voice rising for the first time:
— "Oh, so now you care about my feelings?
You do whatever you want, then buy me something expensive to shut me up?
What next? Another necklace because you feel guilty?
Because you humiliated me in front of everyone?
Do I seem that materialistic to you—like some spoiled daughter?"
The words erupted from her heart before her mouth.
Everything she had bottled up… came out now.
And for the first time, Lucas saw her truly angry.
But suddenly… she stopped.
She felt something warm, sticky, sliding from her nose.
She slowly raised her hand and touched her nose…
Then looked at her hand… blood.
Her eyes widened in panic.
She froze.
Time seemed to stop.
She couldn't hear anything…
Everything around her went silent, except for the trembling of her body and her shallow breaths.
In that moment, she wasn't in the carriage anymore.
She was drowning in a whirlpool of memories…
All the nightmares of that day… and the palace… her muffled screams, the moments of fear…
They flashed before her in an instant.
Lucas was startled when he saw her like that, then rushed to her side.
He began calling her name:
— "Irene? … Irene?"
He kept calling and shaking her shoulder,
But she didn't respond. Her gaze was fixed only on her hand,
She didn't move.
He grabbed her hand quickly and wiped it with the sleeve of his coat, then gently wiped her nose.
He was calm this time…
His tone had changed.
He cupped her face in both hands and made her look at him.
— "Irene… look at me… It's okay… You're fine. It's just a small nosebleed… Don't be afraid.
Breathe… slowly, breathe with me… like this… very good."
He began breathing slowly, encouraging her to match his rhythm.
Little by little, after a few minutes… her body started to calm down, her trembling eased.
He said softly:
— "We've arrived at the palace."
She didn't answer. Her eyes were on the ground.
He placed the coat over her shoulders, then said:
— "If you can't walk, I'll carry you."
She answered faintly:
— "I'm fine."
She stepped down from the carriage slowly, her steps heavy.
He followed her immediately, held her arm, and helped her walk…
In silence, he accompanied her all the way to her room.
All the servants present were whispering when they saw them like that.
Lucas left the room,
Then the servants quietly entered.
Sally stood frozen in place when she saw Irene's face and said in a horrified voice:
— "My lady, what happened? Please, tell me!"
Irene smiled despite her exhaustion and said:
— "I'm fine, Sally… I just felt a bit dizzy."
Then she looked at the servants and gave a slight nod.
They began helping her remove her heavy garments.
Their movements were precise, careful, as if they were handling a piece of fragile glass.
Sally stood aside, her eyes filled with tears.
She was on the verge of crying.
After finishing their task, the servants left—except for Sally, who remained in place, watching Irene.
Then she approached and whispered in an unformal, trembling voice:
— "Please, Irene… this is enough.
You don't realize it, but your condition is getting worse day by day… I can't take it anymore.
You don't even eat your meals…"
She gasped, then continued in a low voice:
— "I know I'm just a maid, and not much older than you…
But I raised you, even if only for a short time.
Please, just listen to me… as your former nanny."
She couldn't hold back any longer and broke down in tears.
Irene, despite her fatigue, pulled her gently into a hug,
She softly patted her back and whispered:
— "You know, Sally… all of this would've been so much harder…
If you weren't by my side."
She looked into her eyes and smiled faintly:
— "I never saw you as a servant… but as an older sister.
You… and Fantine…
You two were—and still are—all I have left in this world.
But I just… want to end this nightmare as soon as possible… so I can be free."
She sighed, then added:
— "Today… I took a big step.
A useful step.
So I'll rest… for a while.
Please, don't worry about me."
At that moment…
The door opened.
Lucas entered with quiet steps.
Sally straightened immediately, wiped her tears quickly, and bowed to Irene:
— "Good evening, my lady."
Then she bowed to Lucas as well and said respectfully:
— "My lord."
She exited quietly, closing the door behind her.
Irene sighed slowly, then walked to the bed and lay down.
He remained standing by the door, watching her in silence.
Lucas thought to himself:
What was that?
First that beggar… now this maid…?
She didn't look at him.
She was occupied with preparing for sleep, completely ignoring him.
But he approached the foot of the bed and said in a low tone:
— "Are you really okay?"
She replied without turning:
— "Yes."
Then she closed her eyes and lay still.
He didn't want to press further.
He walked into the bathroom to take a shower in silence, closing the door behind him.
As soon as he went in, Irene sat up again and took another kind of sleeping pill…
She drank it without hesitation, then lay back down.
Lucas came out shortly after…
Only to find her in deep sleep.
He stopped at the edge of the bed, staring at her dim features.
He said to himself, in a faint inner voice, as if afraid to wake her:
"What is with this girl? What's really wrong with her?… I've never seen anything like this."
He took a deep breath and stepped back slowly, then walked to the balcony and opened the door.
The cold air slapped his face, and a light snow had begun to quietly cover the garden grounds.
He pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it.
"When I was at war…
I saw men's heads explode right in front of me,
Nurses screaming and crying,
And even the weakest among them never acted the way she did…
She didn't scream, didn't even flinch—
She just froze, as if she fainted while being awake…
Over a few drops of blood."
He exhaled white smoke into the grey air and closed his eyes.
"Is blood her greatest fear?
Is that what echoed in her nightmares?"
He blinked, thinking:
"If only she knew who I really am…
If she just saw what I used to do back there…
What I carried in my hands…
How my heart was dead to the corpses…"
He sighed slowly.
"Maybe… I'm her real nightmare.
And she doesn't even know half the truth."
He raised his eyes to the sky,
Where snow fell silently, just like his convictions were falling apart.
"How did fate bring together a delicate girl afraid of blood…
And a man forged by war, raised on the sword and the scent of gunpowder?"
He returned inside and closed the balcony door.
He tossed the cigarette into an empty glass and sat on the chair facing the bed,
Eyes fixed on Irene.
"We don't belong together…
We don't resemble each other at all…
Maybe I should find a way to return her to her homeland…
To the world that suits her…"
He leaned back slowly, eyes still on her.
But deep down…
He knew it was no longer that simple.
He knew the king would never approve a divorce.
Not even the Church would…
Divorce was strictly forbidden—
A vow that couldn't be broken before God.
Lucas was lost in thought.
He lay back on the sofa and fell asleep… silently.
--
now the question do you think the marriage will continue?