Chapter 63 – Winterkeep: The Memory I Refused to Admit
The door felt colder than steel.
When I touched it, my breath stopped.
Not from fear.
Not from cold.
From something deeper.
Recognition.
---
> [Memory Zone – M002: WINTERKEEP]
Status: Suppressed // Logged as "Pre-System Prototype Trial"
User: Kai Ravenhall (Age: 15)
Classification: Baptism Mission // Trauma-Formed Core
Error: This memory does not exist in official records
Warning: Suppressed Personality Fragment May Surface
---
When I stepped through, I wasn't twenty-five anymore.
I wasn't even a Sinner.
I was just a kid.
A weapon they hadn't named yet.
Thrown into a snowy prison called a "training ground."
Left with eight others.
Only three survived.
And I was one of them.
Not because I was strongest.
Not because I was smartest.
But because I lied to myself the fastest.
---
The snow crunched under my boots again.
Smaller boots now.
The kind they give teenagers too scared to ask questions.
Above, the sky cracked like broken glass, revealing a sun that never warmed.
Around me—
Bodies.
Frozen.
Mouths open like they had tried to scream their last thought.
Names rose like ghosts in my mind:
Del. Mira. Conn. Faye. Ashin.
Friends.
Competitors.
All chosen for potential.
All left here to die for the system's "test."
---
And then I heard him.
Me.
Younger.
Panicked.
Crying.
Screaming into the blizzard.
> "Someone! Please—don't leave me here! I'm not supposed to—"
I turned the corner and saw myself.
Wrapped in system-issue winter gear.
Face red.
Eyes wide.
Hands covered in someone else's blood.
He looked up.
Saw me.
And whispered:
> "Did we ever wake up?"
---
> [Echo Fragment Identified – "Kai: Pre-System Self"]
Classification: Repression Construct
Memory Origin: Winterkeep Trial
Emotional Signature: DENIAL – Survival-Triggered False Reality
Conflict Level: High
---
He approached me, slow.
Unsure.
Then shoved me.
Hard.
"You were supposed to forget this!" he shouted.
"I built walls! I erased this file! I locked this away!"
I caught my balance.
Stared at him.
Then asked, quietly:
"Why?"
He laughed.
Bitter.
Almost broken.
"Because the first person you ever killed wasn't the enemy. It was Mira.
And it wasn't an accident."
---
My stomach twisted.
Memory came back in flashes:
Mira, slipping on the ledge.
Me, holding her hand.
Her weight dragging me down.
My knife in my belt.
My choices:
Cut the weight, or fall with her.
I—
I had cut the rope.
But I told myself she slipped.
That the wind tore us apart.
That I couldn't hold her any longer.
But that was a lie.
A crafted survival script.
---
> [Denial Core Unlocked – Event Confirmed: First Kill Logged Under False Flag]
Emotional Sync Required
Option A: Reinforce Lie – Reject the memory, keep stability
Option B: Accept Truth – Integrate trauma, risk emotional collapse
---
I looked at the younger me.
He was shaking.
Not from cold.
From the weight.
The one I'd left behind.
The guilt.
The choice.
The truth.
I knelt.
"I know why you did it," I whispered.
"I forgive you."
He flinched.
Tears filled his eyes.
But he didn't vanish.
He merged.
Into me.
Like a hand slipping back into a forgotten glove.
And for the first time since Winterkeep—
I felt whole.
---
> [Fragment 4 / 13 Resolved – "DENIAL"]
Trait Gained: "Mirror Core" – Kai now resists mental falsification and illusion-based trauma. Can extract truth from corrupted memories of others.
Soul Integrity: -3% (Remaining: 20%)
System Note: Kai's Core Stabilized – Prototype Emotion Integration: 1/3 Complete
---
The snow faded.
The bodies vanished.
The cold withdrew like a curtain finally drawn shut.
And the door… closed behind me.
This time, I heard a click.
Not like a lock.
Like a journal being shut.
Chapter done.
---
Back in the circle.
Four doors now still.
Nine pulsed.
One throbbed in eerie green.
OBEDIENCE.
---
> [Next Door Opening: 5 / 13 – "Obedience"]
Zone: M011 – "Stained Chain Compound"
Subject: Order Execution // Authority Conflict // System Override
Emotional Signature: Blind Trust in a False Superior