ALL I DID WAS BUY MILK

Lance Mercer's life is painfully normal.

He works IT support in a basement office where printers scream, coworkers cry over Bluetooth, and lunch is a rotating tragedy of lukewarm noodles and existential dread. He's got a dog named Dario, a cursed coffee addiction, and a daily goal of making it to 5:01 PM without committing a felony.



Then he buys milk.



Now he's being hunted by unmarked helicopters, cultists in cow masks, and possibly the U.S. government. Reality keeps glitching when he sneezes, his dog might be telepathic, and there's a chance he's bonded with an ancient cosmic dairy god.



He just wanted cereal.



(Inspired by DanDaDan and Parasyte: The Maxim)