chapter 5: Let The Child Live

Henry Clifford was optimistic that his brother would yield the position to him when he thought deeply about the stalemate There must be a truce in this matter, and I'll have to take the initiative. Brainstorming later, Willam's muted. "Amelia, I think we may not marry, there are just too much of ethical issues bordering on cultural absurdity."

"Right willam," she raised up her eye brows sharply and pointed "what about this. seven months old today? Can we also ignore it? She said and frowned, then a wry smile.

"That's a joker that hasn't entered the picture It's bound to scatter the much prided social absurdity. Willam remarked with a grin, "but morality has a way of isolating issues and making them thrive We might not be able to clean up the dirt in the minds of the people, ages to come

"For now yes, later it'll be absorbed and die its death. For this, pointing to her belly again, it'll come to tie the marriage if it can't be before. Our love will not be abated by any cultural lore," she insisted

Willam rose up with the cockcrow and moved into Lekan's parlour. He sat there until the day break was full

Come on brother, Mr Henry said to willam as he entered the room, "look, we have to talk and move forward."

"May be brother, it all depends on attitude," willam replied casually as his mind touched on the inevitability of a child that would throw complexity into any mutual brotherly agreement.

"Just listen to me."Henry said in a slightly raised voice, "there shouldn't be this kind of loggerheads between us. I'm your senior and by a natural sequence, I should take the first slot in anything in this family. By that natural right and as wisdom demands, not to talk of tradition, you have to vacate for me".

"That may be, but already there's a trap-net from which we cannot disengage...."

"Go on willam," he prompted in a rising anxiety, but willam paused, mindful of the explosive joker he had up his sleeves. "We have to take it easy brother," he persuaded, watching his mood.

"How long will you keep me groping? Let me know the trap."

"Amelia's carrying a baby for me already, seven months pregnant this week," he said pulling a hard face.

An uneasy calm prevailed in the parlour as Henry made a painful scream arising from a shock. Willam's plain face changed to a poker look, the way to bear the defining moment.

"That's a betrayal, a vicious one for that matter," Henry reacted as he gazed suspiciously at his brother. Willam discretely lowered his face in avoidance. Later however, both eyes met from glimpse looks and a sad face met a suppressed face. Henry's blood pressure shot high, but he was still short of words. Have I won the day? Willam wondered. A long silence prevailed as both moods turned different ways. Henry was badly distraught, but willam felt helpless, turning a guilty look. The crucial issue, willam began to review was not pregnancy but marriage, one must give way.

Henry heaved a deep breath. "Ava's three months pregnant last week," he said at last. "That was after ten years of marriage, what is now left to reconcile?"

"The issue of pregnancies has further distorted the situation." William wondered.

Again the two brothers grimaced from the pains rising rapidly beneath their faces. They were in the long pause again but whatever, the moment of reality had dawned. The two brothers raised up their eyes to each other once again. Nowhere to hide in the face of reality. It was a fait accompli. A decision to remove the stalemate must be found. Henry, in a display of courage took the lead. This is Avai's first pregnancy in ten years," he grunted. "Will you allow it?"

"The one doesn't disturb the other, willam replied. "I' I'll marry Amelia next month's end," he took a stand.

"You willam" He shouted. "And you're bold to tell me that, you want to commit a social dity? No! Never! Nobody does social absurdity? that to his elder brother." He spanked, "and to his family.. and damage his cultural heritage, bringing two full sisters under the roof of a nuclear family."

"I love Amelia and I won't permit a tradition or social cultural nonsense to come between us. Our plan to marry will not be aborted," he protested.

"That is.. you prefer to bring shame to our family?" Henry asked, shocked. By his look, he was fastly drawing towards aggression. Willam noted that and got prepared to bolt away if the argument got hotter. He could still recall his quick temper smacking on a mere excuse.

"It's inevitable! We've hit a dead end. Anyway, I've a clue, lets take the matter out of family and society," William suggested.

"That's immature and lacking in wisdom. Let's do it according to our love, one couple to drop out and it's you and Amelia".

"What about the baby now on the way?"

"LET THE CHILD LIVE, marriage no! and the family and society 'll be spared of absurdity." Henry declared.

Willam wouldn't swallow such a pill but to allow taut nerves to soften and apprehensions on both sides of the divide to dissolve "Well, if that can solve the problem."

"Yes, the child wouldn't cause disharmony as two sisters in adverse rivaling each other in the family. Henry believed.

There's one basic difference between Henry and willam, the former was a thoroughbred countryman, who held fast to tradition and his suburban community but the latter, a city guy with much independence of mind and anonymity was virtually uninitiated in matters of custom and traditions. He had absorbed a different sense of social value and justice.

Hearing that, willam saw no more wisdom in arguing further. The two women would deliver their children into the family, nothing could change that, he thought. He held his face in frown, rose from the seat and stood still before his brother. "your judgement is sentimental and the consideration is you only. I can't tell Amelia off like that? Can I easily decline from a marriage agreement?"

"Brother, that's a personal matter between you and Amelia, I believe you're man enough to handle that. I'll take care of my own end".

"What's left for you to take care of, nothing? You've declared a victory for yourself and Ava, a losser for me and Amelia. That's worrisome a great deal," he lamented and stormed out of his brother's parlour.

A few kilometers away in another street, Ava and Amelia were at each others throat. The argument was hotter and dismissive. Avai had insisted on only one finality that Amelia must vacate for her!"

"Ava! There's a catch in hand"

"Then Ava gave a lashing look at her sister, what's it?"

"I'm pregnant already," and she screwed up her face."

"You are what? That is you want to come under the same roof with me? You can't have a baby for my brother in-law." Amelia looked up at the bamboo ceiling but she could not see further. She brought down her face sobbing as her lips vibrated. She was facing a decree rather than a truce from Avai. She had no chance to present a reasoned argument to convince her half educated and hardliner sister. A feeling of guilt and lack of a solid platform to stand didn't help at all.

"What then happens to the baby? Think of that!"

"It goes to where it comes from! Go-and-evacuate",. Ava shouted. "If you fail to do just that, never you get near the precinct of the Cliford's family again."

"That baby's my life... and you prefer that I get rid of it... and of me, because of what?" She shouted in anger.

"There's no big deal in that," Ava shook her head malignly, daring her to raise further objection. She was prepared to deal squarely with her.

"It's incredible! That a sister would demand the life of her sister, incredible!" She shouted. "My baby will come to live in this world. That's one thing you can't stop and it's better that you accept to face the challenge rather than be absolutely irreconcilable."

Like willam on the other street, she stumped out of her sister's presence and went into a private living room. While sitting alone and meditating, the unexpected happened, the foetus inside her kicked and rumbled. At the moment it reminded her that she was not alone. She is due in two months time. I've to fight for its life at all cost, she said, excited As she placed her two hands on her belly: the horror on her face disappeared. You'll come and live in this world with me, I'm expecting you, she said. The experience of a baby's sensation inside her belly was a sharp contrast to the disturbing and uncomforting situation she had to contend with, but it gave her a wonderful balance of mood...joy and frustration.

About two hours later, willam walked lazily into the room looking downbeat. Amelia's moody face wasn't a surprise either. "What have you agreed upon with your sister?" He asked.

Amelia felt scared repeating her sister's orders and she dropped her face instead.

"Why won't you talk? That isn't the right attitude," he scolded.

"Go and evacuate the baby, it's an abomination," she disclosed after summoning courage, looking sad and harassed. She was now distrustful of anybody, willam too. Will he defend me? Will he care for me? She argued in her mind. "She gave me no chance for any excuse." She hinted.

Willam was still in solid silence and Amelia broke into it again, "Is your brother kinder and conciliatory?

"Rigid! He preached wisdom, culture, tradition and the prime rights of a senior brother. Let The Child Live: marriage no!" he declared.

"No...marriage...but baby!" Amelia repeated slowly. Is that a solution? Is it acceptable to you?" she questioned with a wild snarl, that's sensible, isn't it?" She replied and her hard look began to soften.

"Better not trust the soundness of a proposition based on tradition wisdom and the like. Judgements are based on common sense which can be far from the reality of a situation. Yes they all speak of native wisdom, I can't understand."

"For now, my elder brother has directed that you have the baby for me and we disengage totally. That's the wisdom of the people, he had affirmed," he explained.

"That's even better than the rigid positing of no marriage, no child," Amelia squealed, as she scampered in few steps to the nearby window.

Willam grilled, as he silently meditated over the two rigid positions of his brother and Ava, his wife. "Nothing can be decided finally today. They are not going to be moved. We're left to take our own decision. Time only can tell what comes next," he reasoned.

Amelia had a little relief but confused. "William, I can't understand you," she shouted in denounciation. "I expect you to insist on marriage but you're equivocal. I think you're too soft. I've sworn to Ava that I'll have the baby... she asked me to go and abort. Why can't you at least take one rigid stand, reject the no marriage trash?"

"Stop all those tantrums Amelia! No matter how long we protest, they won't move, why waste our time? The agreement is a nominal deal, it can't work. Never! Time will solve the problem when due. It's a truce, not a settlement. First let's go and have the baby".

"What about marriage? They are expecting this in our Lagos circles.

"We're in a quagmirel" willam reacted sharply. Have you forgotten that Prof Johnson is fuming and threatening court action? Can there be marriage without resolving that? What's marriage after all, a stamp of legality demanded by the society. Goodwill between a man a woman "love, is of the essence. Like religion love is stubborn faith and we have that a plenty." Then he bent over and whispered into Amelia's ear". Let's live for time, I plead!"

At the same time, Ava was denouncing the position taken by Henry and anger drove her out to go and confront Amelia in a dark alley outside their father's house. "You dare not have that baby for a curse will lie on your head. Apart from that I'll forever hate you and your seeds," she vowed. With that, she broke off ties and contact with her sister forever.

Willam and Amelia were back in Lagos more confused and less sure of the future than they had earlier believed. The pregnancy didn't show much and the result of her efforts to keep it away from ordinary eyes ensured it. One morning she wasn't quite lucky. She had just had her bath and stood half naked before a big mirror. Determined to break a long silence, Prof. Johnson who had earlier left for office bumped in and stood behind her "Oh shit, the door's unlocked," She wrapped up the advanced pregnancy and her nakedness quickly but the die was cast.

"Amelia, what's this in your belly... certainly it's a baby." Prof. Johnson challenged.

"Well, whatever you call it!"

"Who has the baby?"

"That requires no question! It's always by a man! A man donatas it and a woman carries it," she replied without a qualm about it

"You can't continue to live here with another man's pregnancy eating on me. Better that you packed out today or I get you evacuated by any means," and he bumped back to his car in front of the house, disorientated for the day.

Prof. Johnson was half hearted in his threat. His howl and scowl were like those of a threatened bitch hitting back to protect himself. He needed Amelia as a care tender in his advance age. He had conscience enough however to feel guilty for her childlessness. Doctors at home and abroad had rightly declared his infertility and gradual decent to impotency. He had always been apologetic to Amelia, persuading her to wait for her time, but that was short of confessing the truth about himself. "We have to know the cause of your infertility," he had always said and made her feel guilty and inadequate. He never sued for divorce. She'd come back to me after delivery," priming his stand on the legal status of marriage. "After all, she's still my wife," he cuipped, she can't go until a divorce. I'm ready to accept a step child and be responsible for it." He decided to raise the issue with Mrs. Alice and Amelia about it.

A baby girl came for Amelia and willam on a Sunday morning. Willam had waited all through Saturday night of Amelia's labour and she successfully delivered at six o'clock. It happened after Amelia had pre-emotively moved out of her matrimonial house to a bungalow in Agege, just built by willam for that purpose.

Four years later, Henry Clifford, had to mourn greatly the death of his brother, willam and Amelia his sister-in-law. Not Mrs Clifford, she only went short of open jubilation about the deaths. To avoid cultural denouncement, she pretended some semblance of regretful pangs.

If willam and Amelia, the intruders in her family life had been ecliplised from life, they left behind another intruder, the very child she had vowed not to welcome. Mr. David brought clara from Lagos to llesa to Mr. Henry her uncle for care and upbringing. Mr. Henry in his grief, vowed to make her his family's first child remembering his promise to willam that the child could be allowed to come to life.

"Clara's my daughter and the first he had declared to Mr. David, while Ava his wife stood between them. She was stupefied, but thought that the moment of grief and emotion compelled him to make that pronouncement. She thus regarded it as a trifle emotional pledge, and stopped short of making an attempt to contradict him.

"Clara can't be conferred with the status of the first born of this family. She's not our daughter, but a foster child," "Mrs Clifford had always protested, at every attempt to establish that position, standing up always in confrontation to Lekan.

"Your sister's blood is in her. Ditto my brother's, we are in her as much as we're in chris," Mr. Henry had always explained. In our culture, a niece, nephew and cousins are taken as children, they cannot be foster-children."

"Never! Never!" had always been the shouting response. "She's different-it's different. Clara can't claim a direct common biological blood with my children and neither can she be the firstborn. The cord is different and similarly the route taken," she insisted"

Mr. Clifford, peeved by Ava's rigid stand, chose to laugh it off wryly choosing not to boil over it. "I believe she's close enough to both of us to be called a child. She deserves equal treatment with chris and Judith. You must accept that or be damned," he began to warn later.

Replying. "Clara can't have equal rights with my children and neither will chris concede the position of firstborn to her," she swore.

In couples of years after, clara became of age able to work and run errands and Mrs Clifford gradually unfolded her designs to frustrate the little girl. She took the position of a literal mother, neglecting a mother's duties to her and treating her as a servant with no rights in the family. Such a treatment and relegation hurt clara severally and forced her to query her status. One day an unusual memory came to her. It followed a beating foray that sent her sprawling on the ground. She almost gave up life. Do I have a mother? The question wracked in her brain so much in the days that followed. Gradually, a memory was taking shape. She strained to remember great links in her life, but never vivid and certain enough.

Mrs Clifford continued to suffer from her hurtful dilemma. Willam and Amelia had ignored her warnings and went ahead to have the god-for bidden baby and they passed away, throwing the child upon us. That feeling always came with increased hostilities and brutalities against the innocent child. Mr. Cliford's decision to give clara what she considered an underserved status had served no useful end but to complicate the situation. In the family, the oil of hatred and rejection continued to burn and clara was at the receiving end.

With all rights and privileges denied, clara was nothing but an errand child of the Clifford family. Reserved for her were the bulk of the domestic jobs to do. Chris and Judith her juniors shared only trifles and the least engaging jobs. They had all the freedom to play about while she had non. She considered her plight as caused by discrimination and hatred.

Sometimes and at private moments, she tries to remember but she could only glean faintly, a mother who probably petted and adored her. The faint recollections had the tendency to mirror something from a past, a loving one but of indefinable reality. "Have I a mother different from this? Where's she?"

A woman had featured prominently in her dreams taking care of her like a mother, but an immature memory had denied her the reality. The more her thoughts dipped into time, she asked, "is it real?" While extracting melon oil one evening, alone in the backyard, "yes!" echoed sharply from somewhere in her inner but," no!" Also came from underneath, softly subtly. She rejected the later and nodded in the former. Although she couldn't take a definite stand, but from then on, no more refutations when such moments repeated themselves.

The most daunting moments occurred every morning when Chris and Judith had eaten breakfast and collected pocket money, and the irritating pep talk "spend it all at mid-day break," came as a handout. What was more, petting touch on the head and pecking on the cheeks? They served no end than a hurt to a child who hadn't the chance to eat or be pepped up for schoolwork. She craved greatly for a similar treatment.

On the way to school, chris and Judith walked proudly with their heads raised up straight and behaved as children indulged and pampered with means. Clara on the other hand kept behind burdened with misery. With an empty stomach, her mind was always busy planning another of her survival pranks

Chris and Judith were very often disturbed and moved to sympathy with their sister. They hated the manner Mrs Clifford beat and denied her. She had told them that cliford wasn't their sister and therefore had no equal rights with them. Unable to understand what that meant, they ignored the idea. They read their books and played together. Sometimes they helped her do part of her work when their mother was away.

They loved clara and wanted her to feel happy like them. They weren't able to ensure this because being too young, they couldn't easily alter the situation. However, as maturity grew with age, they began to understand and appreciate the situation. Gradually therefore, they began to form independent opinions of their own. Unable to isolate clara from her children, Mrs Clifford wasn't satisfied, disappointed in particular by the rapport between them. That state of affairs was isolating for her as chris and her sister stubbornly stuck to their sister. In consequence, her divisive underhand tactic was a major failure and bore fruit in the reverse.

One late evening, the entire family ate dinner together, a rare occasion because Mr. Clifford so much an itinerant trader rarely available at dinner times. There was much enthusiasm having him around and the children bubbled with free talk and questions over burning issues. Judith, ever so inquisitive touched it off. She pipped her father's arm quietly for attention and levied a complaint.

"Mum doesn't like clara. She doesn't give her food and pocket money to school. Why?"

There was a little pause, as the faces turned cold and grim. The girl being so direct in her accusation stood Madam Clifford on the defence line. She explained her charge.

"Mum also gives her too much work that she can't cope with and we have to help her, oh Jesus!" she screamed; "clara's suffering is this house!" and heaved a deep breath or regret.

Mr. Clifford was still wriggling in shock when Chris cut in "Mum, why's it that you beat clara every time? I expect you to beat Judith too because she's headier and naughty. She's also a slouch".

"Stop that chris, but you too is a malingerer, aren't you? Let daddy answer my question first," Judith countered, shouted him down. "I've warned you, I detest interruption."

"But am right," chris hollered back and stood up to beat her.

"Stop it!" Mr. Clifford cut in already disturbed by the grim accusation of Madam Clifford.

"This morning, mum didn't give her breakfast and she was badly hungry in the school," chris said to reestablish himself. "We shared our menu with her but not enough," he added.

"And no pocket money," Judith cut in a gain. "Daddy, I remember also that you said, we all should eat breakfast and take pocket money for mid-day meal, and clara's given nothing."

Clara feigned to concentration eating her dinner, but following the event with absorbing interest, her eyes moved from mother to father and the two accusers. On the whole, she had never felt happier in her life.

The kernel of the children's complaint wasn't lost on Mr. Clifford. He shook his head in disbelieve and looked at clara's eyes, searchingly. "Is it true?" he asked disturbed.

Clara nodded..."yes it is true," she added boldly looking away from Madam cliford's prying eyes, which had suddenly risen level with hers. She had pretended to be busy ever since with eating her dinner, but clara's confirmation could be more damaging.

Worst of it all, even by her own children, the expression on her face was hard, but never prepared for a defense.

Mr. Clifford turned to Tolani "I expect you to counter these monstrous accusations. Why the solid silence?"

"Why monstrous?"

"Because they are made by innocent minds whose hearts are free from hatred. They are so indicting to a mother.

"And you believe them?"

"I'm to confirm," Mr. Clifford said looking straight at her face, weighing her moods.

She burst out again. "You've taken side already, do I need to say anything?" She replied evasively.

"Of course, you have to, I can't treat one side of a coin. Your defence's important. After all, they're your children, but in their wisdom, they consider it necessary to lay the complaints before the family. They've not come secretly."

"I think I've the right to discipline clara?"

"Of course, you do, but she could also complain to me."

"What questions are you then asking me?"

"The children are old enough to know the difference between genuine and undeserved punishment. There's also a clear difference between good and evil deed. They are old enough to know that. You have to recognize that you stand a trial. To be evasive as you are trying to do is to say you are absolute. Please react."

"It's up to you who sit in judgment."

"You're laying the seed of discord for this family, you aren't motherly at all, he rebuked.

"Children, off to your study, he ordered, cautious enough about discipline. While they reluctantly moved away, Mr. Clifford in reprimand said, "be ashamed of yourself, the children, your own children who carpeted you for wrong doings will forever remember. Evil deeds live after the doer, that's graver than my judgement. Cruel treatment to that child? I find it incredible to believe. I think I better send her away to my sister before .. I can't condone it".

"Before what?" Mrs Clifford cut in."

"Maybe, before you get rid of her".

"That's far fetched Henry".

"It's not at all. There are many ways to kill a child, the most potent is hunger and starvation, and of course denial of rights, discrimination and unjust work loads are part of them". "We can't this" treat clara like this," he continued, "It's unrighteous. She's our first born".

"Clara can't be the senior child begs your pardon. She's not our daughter. It's better you don't give her a false impression. She can't even claim equality with my children." She denounced.

"Remember Ava, the same blood runs in her veins as chris and Judith," he said hitting the table for emphasis.

"That's an often repeated cliché and it's false," Mrs Clifford rebuffed.

Stalking angrily towards the kitchen, she looked back and asked, "Henry, when'll you be cured of this illusion, wrong notion of the cord that ties in the family? You're certainly not right with this. As you said, clara must vacate this house, she should stay away better to get rid of a pain in the flesh.. a gangrenous wound before it festers too badly," she vented.

Standing on the doorway Mr. Clifford hollered back. "Never! No, never, Ava! She's clara Clifford and she'd remain in the family and the house of Clifford as long as I live," he swore to her face.

From that night on, clara had acquired a new found freedom and the courage to speak out. She bucked up and stopped her timidity, hiding in the corners of the house to avoid the scolding eyes of Mrs Clifford. Every morning she too wake up early enough to do her chores. At the breakfast table she took her place to eat like chris and Judith, and got pocket money as well. She could now report if Ava denied her. The new found freedom was soon a source of worry to Mrs Clifford, particularly her audacity to speak up when not given but others got. Getting more intolerant with Ava often led to rows with her.

For a term, Mr. Clifford went abroad and that was when the row peaked. Events began to reveal that although Ava mellowed down but not in obedience as clara thought. The old ways returned once again. Clara was railroaded back into hardships losing the hard won right and privileges. There was no more breakfast and pocket money as before. It meant a return to those heady days of grief and want. She grew badly upset during Mr. Cliford's absence when her pride and determination were pruned down severely. The rough gloomy days had returned and she had to begin to cope again.