Chapter 5: I Regret Not Flirting with the Class Monitor

After surviving the talent show disaster and somehow impressing Shen Min, I figured things would quiet down.They didn't.

Regret farming was going great.

I had 92 Regret Points, a combat skill based on singing off-key, and a floating bao giving me life advice.

But then I made a mistake.

A real one.

Shen Min - class monitor, student council vice president, and the only person in school who drank plain milk for fun - stopped me after class.

"You're not stupid," she said. "You just pretend to be."

I froze. "That… was weirdly flattering."

"I saw your math paper. You finished it in ten minutes and got everything right. Then you crossed out the answers and rewrote wrong ones."

"I have a brand to maintain."

She crossed her arms. "You're hiding something."

Before I could respond, the system pinged:

[REGRET DETECTED]"Regret: Never Tried Flirting with the Class Monitor"

Severity: Mild but spicy

Correction Opportunity: ImmediateReward: +5 RP + Social Agility LV1

Risk: Public Rejection + Social Death (Temporary)

I looked at Shen Min. She raised an eyebrow.

My brain said don't do it.

Baozi whispered, "Do it for the stats."

So I did.

I leaned forward just a little.

"You know," I said, "if you keep watching me like this, people will think we're dating."

She blinked.

I regretted it immediately.

[REGRET CONFIRMED ✅]+5 RP

EarnedSkill Unlocked: Social Agility – LV1Effect: +10% recovery from awkward situations

Shen Min narrowed her eyes.

"Do you want detention?"

"That depends," I said, grinning, "is it a date?"

She blinked again.

Then - to my horror, she smirked.

"You're lucky I like idiots," she said, and walked away.

I stared after her, stunned.

Baozi floated beside me, looking equally shocked.

"That went… surprisingly well."

"I was prepared to be slapped," I whispered.

"Your flirting was like a car crash," Baozi said. "Horrible. But you walked away richer."

That evening, I checked my stats:

Regret Points: 97

Skills: Petty Combat, Sonic Boom, Social Agility

Titles: Shin Kicker, Bold Fool

Passive: Classroom Cringe Shield

Reputation: 10 with Weirdos, 2 with Shen Min, -4 with Chen Bao (he still limps)

I sat back in bed, Baozi floating above my head like a bored lamp.

"I think I'm becoming socially powerful."

"You still suck at eye contact."

"I'm working on it."

Another pop-up appeared.

[NEW QUEST UNLOCKED]

Quest: Survive a study session with Shen Min

Type: Time-Based, Regret-Prone

Reward: +10 RP, Title: Book Boyfriend (Temporary)

Bonus Objective: Do not actually study

Penalty: Crippling embarrassment

I dropped my phone.

"This system is shipping me."

"The algorithm is feral," Baozi said.

"But if I survive it…"

"You become unstoppable."

Power from pain. Confidence from cringe.I wasn't just a slacker anymore.I was becoming… someone regrettably unmissable.