Control

Ryan walked onto a set that was brimming with energy after the announcement that Kevin Spacey and Jeremy Irons would shoot a scene together. Kevin Spacey walked into an office room filled with coffee and glazed donuts, which had a mesmerizing view: titans of skyscrapers in Midtown Manhattan. I sat down to review my lines when Kevin walked up to me.

"J.C kept telling me what a young gem he found. At 21, l was still backstage at Julliard having wet dreams of being a star". Spacey radiated charm with his playful humor. 

"I still have a lot to learn. American Beauty is one of my favorite films." Ryan replied with unease due to his future knowledge regarding Spacey. 

"Really? You want a funny story. The first two days of filming, I asked Sam what he thought of the dailies. You know what he said? 'I hate it. I hate how Smiley looks. I hate that you're inside it. I hate your acting in it.' Then he decided to reshoot all of it. So l think you're doing better than l did." Kevin and Ryan both chuckled as J.C called out Kevin's name to shoot the men's room scene with Jeremy. 

As Ryan watched both Jeremy and Kevin act, he realized the importance of silence in acting. The brief pauses when Kevin took to look down on the piece of paper to contemplate his loyalty to John. The silent desperation that Jeremy shows as he puts his head on the bathroom wall realizing the enormity of challenge ahead. The scene subtly influenced his acting technique and his insights of the players of Wall Street. 

'They would do anything to keep the firm alive, keep the game still going. Money will always motivate them and it does. Seth is blinded by that' 

J.C clapped his hands and called "Alright! Let's reset for the next setup!"

Ryan snapped back to the present. His scene was next. 

He stood up, rolled his shoulders, and took a breath. 

'Time to work' 

***

The scene was the audition take that Ryan was asked to do by Susan weeks ago. Ryan was sitting on the toilet and was getting ready for the emotional scene ahead. Seth realized moments ago that he would be let go by the firm. J.C put the camera close to his face and smiled at Ryan. 

"Start when you're ready". The crew clicked into place like a well oiled machine and all looked at Ryan. 

Ryan was brought back by that phone call announcing his mothers death. It was as if his life was a tragic play. He was at his highest moment but was brought back down by fate. 

'Seth too was at his highest, the prime of his life, climbing the Wall Street ladder. My life and Seth is all about wanting one thing, control. To control our success, our promotions, and to have no setbacks. But that is an impossible task, and l realize now that l will always lose my battles with fate. I will never know why l was sent back, just be grateful' 

Tears came out of Ryan's face as he brought Seth to life. It wasn't the huge sobs that Ryan did in the audition room but something so much more layered. The clenched teeth, his lifeless hand on his head, and his blue eyes that conveyed one thing: a man quietly begging for the world to pause. 

The crew was so silent. Just moments ago, they saw Jeremy's defeated face on the bathroom wall. A perfect scene from a pro that shows the message of the film: the little control that even the big players of Wall Street have in the face of the markets. But, Ryan's performance showcased a universal feeling that a 21 year old rookie should not be able to do. The film was made for the audience to look down on Jeremey's and the other big player's pride that started the financial crisis. Now, the audience understands them as people because of Ryan's authenticity. The crew realized this shift just through this one performance and was moved by it. 

J.C whispered, "Cut". 

Ryan looked up at the camera and got up from the toilet. He nodded to J.C and other crew members before he went to an office room to prepare for a scene. 

Zachary walked through the door, his voice low, "I watched the playback. I would have gone big but you let it burn slowly. Nice job" 

Then a voice echoed in the hallway. "Scene 47—Ryan and Paul—10 minutes. Outside in the car" 

Ryan slowly walked up and was ready to control his own fate as much as he could.