Ash's Chest Comes with Terms and Conditions

Someone dreams of being a hero… or living a life as glamorous as their parents.

But me? Right now, I just wanted to see that naked woman Riven told me about.

And finally—we jumped into the portal.

We were soaring through a kaleidoscope of galaxies. Moving so fast, even time couldn't keep up with us.

At the end of the tunnel—light.

Like looking through glass.

We saw two tall silhouettes walking across a dusty plain in green cloaks. One looked like a grizzled old sage, and the other… was a lion?!

A lion walking on two legs.

A damn were-lion?

"How much longer do we have to walk, Payton?" the half-lion panted. "I swear, I'm going to melt. This fur was meant for higher altitudes, you know!"

Massive swords hung from their backs. We were watching them from a third-person view, floating unseen.

Then the portal dragged us closer—bam—we crashed down into the sand nearby.

Well, shit.

"Huh?" said the lion guy. "Who the hell are these little runts?"

"Doesn't matter," the other one muttered, pulling a giant sword free while his face stayed hidden under a towel. "You two. What are you?"

Riven was too stunned to speak. Looked like he was about to piss himself.

What a moron. I actually trusted this guy, and now we're neck-deep in trouble.

"Well?" said the swordsman. "You gonna talk or what?"

I slowly got my ass off the ground and dusted off my pants.

Just as I was about to answer,

Riven grabbed my wrist—and boom!

A dusty portal opened beneath us.

Whirlpool time again.

"They vanished," the lion said, blinking. "Maybe it's a sign we should get the hell home."

"I felt something strange about them," Payton muttered, staring at his sword. "Hellbringer's trembling. Something's not right."

The lion scratched his mane.

"What does it matter, Payton? Maybe we're just hallucinating. Maybe Sayuri will show up naked next."

The portal glass fogged up. That was the last thing we saw…

…before we were sent spiraling back through galaxies.

And crash-landed again—this time, on the floor of Riven's room.

We lay there panting, exhausted. That… was a ride.

"Hey, dipshit. Mind explaining why that didn't go as planned?"

"I-I don't know! I swear, last time I popped into a woman's bedroom. Why would I lie?!"

And now he's pulling the sad puppy look?

"So, that was your only jump?" I asked. "Yeah, makes sense. Your portals don't go to the same place, then."

"What do you mean..?"

I started thinking. Last time: a woman's room. This time: those two.

"Seems like your portals target people. Not places. And randomly, too. So we can't expect to land in the same spot next time."

"Great…" he muttered, flopping back. "I'm almost out of mana…"

His face looked like a dead fish. Guess that means he can keep the portal open only as long as he's got mana.

Once he runs out? We're screwed. Might as well get used to life with were-lions.

But something else caught my attention… those two. They radiated power. The kind of power that made my bones ache just remembering it.

Just how strong were they?

I grinned crookedly.

Interesting. Very interesting.

"Well done, Riven!" I cheered. "Let's try again tomorrow."

"You're insane! Did you even see how dangerous that was?"

"Huh? Who cares! That was awesome! C'mon, kid, trust me."

Yeah, trust me—the least trustworthy guy here.

But the poor kid's too nice to say no.

"...Just let me recover my mana first, alright?!"

Next day went by like normal. During lunch break, Ashmourne tracked me down to deliver her stalker report.

"There he is," she said, poking me in the forehead with her finger.

A rush of information flooded my brain.

"Bastard works at a bar in the local district. Careful—he's backed by some real tough guys."

The Data Transfer Technique. Think of something, send it through your finger, touch someone's forehead. Instant mental download.

Hmm? Wait a sec—I've seen that guy before. Hazelnut hair, right? Always hanging out with Remioku. Or was it Ramenoku?

"Also," she said, rising onto her toes, her lips almost brushing my ear. "When you see him, do me a favor and save the memories for later. I want something to laugh about."

What a wicked girl.

I'm in.

Hours later. Final bell of the day. The sky outside: crimson red.

My driver agreed to drop me off at the bar and wait outside.

Unclipping the pin from my collar, I stepped inside.

It was warm. Jazzy. Classy. Most of the tables were empty.

Behind the bar, a young man with long chestnut hair wiped down a glass. A fourth-year student.

And then I shattered the peace.

"You. Eyheras or whatever—step outside. We need to talk."

Every ear in the room perked up. The guy looked like he was about to put on a tough face—but then he saw me.

And turned into a frightened little bunny.

"Y-you're Atheron?! What are you doing here?!"

"Urgent mission, something-something, bigshots watching you. Doesn't matter. Outside. Now."

"B-but I'm working! My boss'll kill me!"

He looked at his boss. Boss just smiled and waved us out.

The guy looked utterly betrayed.

We stepped into the alley. The second he removed his white apron, I shoved him against the dark wall.

Rule number one of Fight Club: no fights off the zone. He thought that'd save him.

"You bastard! Y-you touch me and I'll upload everything! I'm recording!"

I smirked and gave him my nastiest glare.

"Oh? And you think you're in a position to threaten me? What if I tell you how much dirt I've got on you, involving Ash?"

He swallowed hard.

Eyes bulging like a fish out of water.

"A-Ashmourne?! No way. I didn't do anything! Y-you're bluffing!"

Oh, I wasn't bluffing. I'd seen everything. Every time he stalked her—at school, outside, even the creepy notes he left in her locker.

"You sick freak," I growled, grabbing his collar. "You stalk my dear friend and don't think about consequences? Fine. From now on, I'll be the one watching your house. Every damn day. Maybe even sneak in at night and show you what a real pillow feels like."

He froze. Then—he panicked and threw a punch.

A joke of a swing.

He tried an uppercut next. I caught that too.

"Fists, stalking, death threats—you're done, kid. How do you think the cops'll react when they find out?"

He saw it in my eyes.

That I meant every word.

The look of a monster with shark teeth and no mercy.

Next morning. Another typical day at the Academy.

Ashmourne met me during the break. Her skirt was shorter than usual. Was she celebrating?

"Ahahaha! You should've seen his face! Athey, he looked like he saw a ghost!"

She laughed like a maniac. Where did her soft voice even go?

"Thank you, Athey. You're a lifesaver. I'm grateful with all my heart."

Athey, huh?

Well, she's bold enough to share her past memories with me…

[If you don't love me, I'll kill you on your way home. I'll cut your body to pieces and no one will ever find out. You're mine.]

That was one of the notes he gave her. Disappears after being read.

I could feel the sorrow behind it.

She really wanted to die back then.

Ashmourne… after all that, I don't envy your life as an idol anymore.

I gently patted her head, catching her off guard.

"I'm not the kind of guy you thank. Why don't you hate me like the others? You know what kind of student I am."

I lowered my hand. She grinned triumphantly.

"Oh dearest Atheron, I don't think badly of you at all! Hear me now, as your new queen—I, Ashmourne il Bloodorchid Dominia Ether-Flame, declare you a good person!"

Then she tilted her head and touched her lips. Cute.

What a circus. Still…

"Looks like you've got some unfinished business."

"True, darling. Care to join me?"

"Hell yeah."

We cornered the stalker in the hall.

The guy was so spooked, he fell to the floor from a rustle.

"I-I'll give everything back! Just don't hurt me! I'm rich, take it all!"

He cowered behind his hands.

"Oh dear," Ash knelt. "What a pitiful sight. See a monster or something? But you used to call me princess."

"No need to mock him too hard," I chimed in with a wicked grin. "He doesn't know our little secret."

"O-ho-ho," she giggled behind her palm. "Should we tell him? I'm so embarrassed~"

"What's the point? He's just an ant staring up at gods."

I grabbed Ash by the waist and pulled her close. We both flashed him a devilish smirk.

"Scram."

The guy scrambled up—slipped—and bolted into the classroom.

Hopefully, that's the last we see of him.

Not that I'm in it for Ash's attention. It's the guy. Even without knightly honor, there's still being human.

I hate scumbags who harass women. What if it were your sister? Your mom?

Idiots. Good riddance.

I sat through class, yawning like a dying walrus.

Then suddenly—someone else yawned even louder.

It was a guy with ridiculously long black hair. Another weirdo? Not quite.

Turns out, he could use both High Magic and Destruction. A genius, just like professor Dean.

During lunch, Ashmourne came to me.

People stared like I'd won the lottery.

They probably thought, Why him? Why not me?

Lirael was in complete shock.

Maybe because she didn't expect me to have a friend.

"Athey~! Want to have lunch together?"

"Sure."

Alright. What are you scheming now?

As we walked through the noisy corridor, she stopped.

"Athey, I never thanked you properly for the other day."

"Didn't we agree that you'd leave Riven alone?"

"Yes, but you didn't get anything out of it. So listen closely."

She rose onto her toes again, face unusually seductive.

"Want a kiss?"