DESERVE IT

DANTE'S POV

"There's only one membership card so only one of us can go in there at a time." I say holding the card I got from the man Headshot and I were torturing yesterday.

"I'll go." Liam says.

"Like that's going to happen." I dismiss him. "You have a girlfriend and you need to be alive when Adeline gets out. I'm not going to ruin your life too. When Addie is out, she's going to need you, so you need to stay alive by all means."

Liam gives me a disapproving look but he knows I'm right so he shuts up.

"You've got to do it man." One of the men working with us says, looking directly at me. "You're the best person for the job. You know the workings of places like this better than we do."

"Yeah, I think he's right." Headshot adds.

"Well then I think it's settled." I say. "But I'm going to need you guys to stand guard outside and we need mics that connect to each other. Just in case something happens in there and things get weird. I'm going to need you guys.

"Well yeah, sure you can count on us." Liam again. I look at him with an exasperated gaze in my eyes.

"Oh, come on, man. Don't give me that crap about I have to be safe and shit. Addie is my best friend and I care about her too. If you're risking your life for her, then I am too. If these people here who barely even know her are risking their lives for her then I fucking am too and you can't stop me!"

The room goes quiet. Everyone looks from me to Liam.

"I think you should let him come man." Headshot breaks the silence.

"Fine." I sigh. Liam gives me a triumphant look. "When do we go."

"Tonight. If that's okay with you all…" I say cleaning my gun.

"Isn't that a little bit too reckless, Dante. Don't we study the area first. Know the in and out of the place. Don't we prepare?" Liam asks.

"I did that already and today is safe." I state.

"You can't just go on doing things without us, Dante. We're a team remember? If you make decisions without us, you could out us all in danger. We all have to be in synch and you going and doing things without us not helping." I drop my gun loudly on the table and give Liam a death stare. The entire room goes quiet and all eyes are on me now.

"You're losing your shit man." Head shot says slowly and I chuckle as I let out a defeated sigh.

"Yeah." I state. "Yeah, I guess I am." I place my fingers on my temple and massage slowly. I take in deep breaths before speaking again.

"Look. I got carried away, okay? I saw an opportunity and I went for it. I just-" I trail off. "I'm just desperate you see."

"We're all fucking desperate!" Liam yells out.

"Okay okay. Let's not lose our minds now, okay?" Headshot says trying to calm both of us. "You already located the place and did all the hard work for us? Fine. Just make sure it doesn't happen again because like Liam said, we're a team and keeping thigs from us will put us in danger. Now, if you think today is a safe day to pull it off, fine. We just have to make sure that everyone else is okay with it? What do you say, guys?"

Headshot looks to the room and the other men nod their heads in agreement with him. Liam gives me a look that says he'll definitely be scolding me later. I roll my eyes at him and focus on the other men. I'm not even okay with Liam coming.

What if something happens to him? He's not used to this and I'm not going to be able to protect him if he gets into real danger and I'm not next to him. can't have him die because Adeline will never forgive me. He has a life wit Naomi. I need him to focus on that and leave the hard work to me but he's so fucking stubborn.

I start giving the men all the details they would need for us to go to the club tonight. I pull out a map and indicate their positions to them. I'm going to connect and undetectable mic on my suit so that they can watch me as I navigate inside the club.

I don't know exactly what I hope to find there but I know everything is going to turn out okay.

"Let's go then." Liam says.

In the car, Liam decides to ride solo with me while the other men ride in a different car. He said he wanted to speak to me about something,

"Are you going to talk or are you just going to keep gawking at me?" I ask him to break the uncomfortable silence in the car.

"I don't know man, you seem pretty on edge lately." He blurts out.

"I am not on edge." I argue.

"You are and you know it. I mean it's Adeline. I just…" Liam brushes his fingers through his hair and looks outside the window before speaking again.

"I just don't want you to lose your mind. I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. I lose sleep. I have bad dreams. Naomi keeps asking m what the problem is, but we have to be strong you know. You need to be in the right mind if you're going to lead a team."

"I know." I tell him.

"Them get your shit together because if those men see that you can't lead them anymore, then all tis is going to be for nothing. All of it is going to go to shit!" He scolds.

"I know." I repeat.

"You can't wait to get rid of me, huh?" I don't know why I say that, but it comes out of my mouth before I can stop myself. There's now tension in the car and I immediately regret opening my mouth.

"You know I don't like you very much. We've been over this, but we want the same things. I just want my friend back. When that happens then yeah, I'll be glad to never see your face ever again."

Liam says truthfully. It hurts, I'm not going to lie. It hurts like hell but lately, I need things to hurt me, because that's exactly how Adeline must be feeling right now. All she's feeling must be pain and loneliness and if there was a way that I could take it all away, I would do it in a second.

God, I miss her so much. I miss her so much sometimes it feels like I can't breathe. I don't know if that makes me a bad person. After everything she'll have to endure because of me, do I even have the right to feel this way about her. Do I even have the right to still want to hold her in my arms and comfort her, kiss her?

Do I have the right to still be in love with her? I can't help how I feel but I know one thing. I know Adeline would not want to see my face again after this. I know it, and I deserve it.