THOUGHTS

ADELINE'S POV

I stare at the ceiling with no thought in my head. I think of everything and nothing at the same time. I think and feel so much that I have become numb. All my emotions feel loke they have been turned off. Right now, all I want to do is use my mind and my brain and nit my heart. If I let my heart take over, I will not recover. I fall down the deep end and I will never be able to pull myself up again.

What I learned about Dante was gut-wrenching. He lied to me. I don't know why he did it, but I feel so stupid, so used. I thought I had finally found someone that I could share everything with. Someone I would have no secrets with. But what Veronica and Colton told me about Dante is not just any secret. It's a massive one.

It is such a huge part about his life that he deliberately kept away from me. To a certain extent, I understand him. I just feel sad that I had completely no idea the type of person I was dating. The type of person I fell in love with. The type of person I would have done anything for.

I wish he trusted me enough to tell me. Just like how I trusted him when I told him my plan against Adrian. What I was doing was illegal but I decided to tell Dante. I agree that I would have been scared of him if he revealed to me what he did during his spare time, but at least, I would not have been living a lie. I hate lies. They poison things.

They ruin trust and no matter what, that trust can never be regained at a hundred percent. There will always be some doubt lingering. But the thing is, I have no doubt that Dante cared about me. I have no doubt that he loved me. But his betrayal hurts. The fact that he knew about Adrian and didn't say a thing to me is why I am most angry.

He knew how dangerous it would be, yet he let me push through with my plan. He let me live with that monster. He let me sleep in the same house with him. all this could have been avoided if he just rusted me enough to warn me. I would have probably never been brought here and I would have helped him in every way I possibly could to catch Adrian.

So why? Why the fuck did he not warn me? Why did he just watch me head towards my peril? I hate him for it. I resent him for all what I am going through here, and if Naomi has been kidnapped too, that only means Liam must have gotten involved with Dante somehow. It makes me sick.

I wonder where Colton is. I wonder if he managed to contact Dante and Liam. I wonder if he is already on his way here with Naomi. My head feels like it will explode with all the things that I'm thinking about.

I close my eyes and think of a time when life was better. I think about Liam.

There was a river we used to go to when we were ten years old. My parents had moved to a different house by then. They have up their beautiful house made of wood for a new and modern one. My father had started making tons of money from his new company. I hated the new house. It was cold and it did not provide the feeling of warmth and the feeling of home that the old house did.

I also hated this house because it was farther away from Liam's house and I couldn't see him as much as I used to and I hated it. I hated it so much tat the first few nights of staying in that house, I would throw random tantrums until my Liam finally came to visit me.

There was river behind out house that Liam and I would always go to play around. Our parents warned us about not going too close to it, but with Liam, I had always been very daring. I almost drowned in that river one day. Liam saved me and we kept it a secret from our parents. Liam and I were inseparable. I was homeschooled and I had no other friends but him and I was okay with it. With Liam, I felt like I could do anything, He made me feel brave, courageous.

When we became teenagers, Liam and I did everything to go to the same high school together. My parents finally decided to send me to an elite private school with Liam. We were so inseparable in school that people thought we were dating and there was a time when I had a crush on Liam. He was so handsome.

The most handsome boy I had ever seen and I liked him. There was a time I craved a romantic relationship with him. There were times when I felt he craved it too, but we never crossed that line. I think we both felt like it would end so horribly wrong and our friendship would be ruined. You see friends can always fight and fix their problems. But couples. When you best friend becomes your partner and you break up, you not only lose a partner, you lose a friend too. A friend that you can never get back.

So I put aside my feelings for him. I focused on our friendship and on our studies and with time, I think we both stopped craving a romantic relationship with each other.

I miss my best friend so much. I hate the fact that he's not here with me. I miss the sleepovers I used to have with him. I miss movie night with him and I miss the times when we used to train together. A tear rolls down my cheek but I don't sob, I don't make a sound. I just let the liquid fall and feel the inevitable pain that keeps eating away at my soul.

And then I gather that pain and send it back to the abyss. I wipe the tear from my face and take in a deep breath. I rise from my bed and head over to the shower. We have no other activities for the day and Veronica ordered all the girls to stay in their rooms. I think the solitude is another way that Veronica uses to play on our psychology. She doesn't let the girls interact with each other which is just another way of telling us that we are completely alone in this place.

Leaving us in our rooms after we have gone through a traumatic even during the day makes us think that we have no friends here. That we can't count on each other. I remember the truce that I made with Silver. I wonder if in the solitude of her room, she is rethinking her decisions. After talking to her, I understand why she was so rude to me.

She wants to get out of here. Even if it means getting sold to be someone's wife. She has decided that any place is better than here and I think I might share her opinion. They have been training her since she was fifteen only to get sold off later. Her husband will enjoy her company for what, maybe five years until he decides that she has gotten too old and then he'll get rid of her.

It is the most predatory thing I have ever heard. It was as if our lives meant nothing to these people and it doesn't. It's crazy to know how many fucked up fetishes people have. What do they gain from doing this? I guess it flatters their ego. It makes them think and feel that they have so much power. That they can get whatever they want.

I'm a psychologist but I do not even want to understand these people. I do not want to know why they do what they do. All I know is it is wrong and I want to stop it. All I know is, I never want to see any other gurl be subjected to such a life. All I know is, I do not want this to be the rest of my life.

I will not be sold to some old man who thinks the only way for him to get pleasure is by human trafficking. There are prostitutes who willingly and enjoy giving sex in return for money? Why not just go to them? Why ruin our lives?

Questions. So many thoughts and questions. Questions that I will probably never have an answer to and it's eating me up.

I undress myself and all I can think about id washing the dirtiness of this place off me, but then even if I finally get out of this place one day, and I scrub at my skin until I'm all red and sore, I feel like I will never be clean. I feel like my soul has been permanently tainted and there is nothing I can do to get it back to the way it was.

I let the water fall on me. I let it wash away my pain but no amount of water will ever be enough to make me feel better than what how I feel right now. I scrub at my skin. I wash off all the invisible impurities until it hurts. I wash my hair and as I step out of the shower in my towel, Colton walks into the room with a haunted look on his face. I remember a time when people used to knock before entering my office. I guess not here. I have no privacy here.

He nods slowly at me, a silent attempt to let m know that everything went well and I almost fall down from the relief. He sees the look on my face and his eyes fall in pity.

I don't care for his pity. All that matters is that he got to Dante. That's all that matters. I stare at him and then I remember, he was supposed to bring Naomi here today. I lose all sense of self and dash towards him. I grab his arm and glare at him.

"You brought a girl here today." I state. "Where is she?"