Under one's Void

"Just answer in your head... And let god do the rest." The sister lights the four candles in the corners.

I nodded and closed my eyes.

Time is fleeting fast in repeating, monochrome days... Now, let's start the plot.

"Firstly, what do you see in the shadows?"

Vary, it could be the scientist. The Cynic's voice, who always mocks me. Ivan and Alisa's hopes. Or worst of them all, the image of the imperfect me.

Amazing! The Cynic cheered.

"Secondly, what's one thing you wish you could hide?"

These lingering thoughts within me, my past, or if it's a physical item, my notebook.

I don't want anybody to know who I am...

Why oh why?

"Thirdly," her voice stopped for a while, and the water around me began to move spirally, in a clockwise motion. "What animal would you want to have a conversation with?"

Maybe a lion? With the intelligence of leading a pack and the symbol of trust and bravery, maybe he could guide me...

Or an eagle, he could teach me how to grow wings...

Nah, realistically, a cat. Those pesky, cunning felines... Really been up for a great conversation.

I don't think that counts as an answer; you do that anyway.

"What do you bring when you're stranded in a place, somewhere you didn't know?"

Knowledge. But realistically, I survived five years in this place, an unknown place in my dictionary, not because I needed to survive. But if I were stranded, I wanna bring my knowledge, and a fluffy pillow, or my notebook.

I heard a cracked voice, probably the mirror ahead of me... And a strong wind blowing, playing with my long hair.

"Oh my," the sister, who I think is shocked. What does she see? "Fifth, what's the thing that's been following you?"

It's Me!

No, not at all...

You're both right and wrong.

It's my burden, and... Yeah probably you, The Cynic.

"If you're able to fold time, what would you pick? The past, The present, The future?"

I wanna live today, I wanna think about the future, I wanna recall my past...

Very well...

"What an abnormal potential... What is?"

The sister's voice seems to be full of terror, her voice vibrates but does not talk, even her voice cannot come out...

"Lastly," The sister said, her voice covered by the surrounding winds that get stronger, and the voice of the second and third mirrors cracking

I hear ringing sounds in my ears, and my feet feel like they can't hold me up anymore...

I want to throw up, my stomach feels like cleaning its inside.

What a pain...

"What is the whisper that you hear when it's quiet?"

The wind stopped, the water has done spiraling, the answer is...

Come closer... Mediator.

As soon as I open my eyes, the ringing becomes more and more painful to bear. My head went black, and at last... My vision too.

"Noir-" was the last sound I heard.

...

Now, let's address the elephant in the room.

"What? But I pick cats..."

I smiled.

Ah, I knew why it was familiar, the Cynic voice, that laughing I heard was not the laugh of hate nor comedy. A sad laugh, the Cynic was...

Doppelganger

I nodded, the perfect recreation is what's called a doppelganger. The one who could do all things you couldn't, but why does he exist?

Maybe I'm the one who needed to ask questions... Why do you think you 'exist'

I exist because I think I am...

Okay mother goose, shortly saying... You couldn't die, and when I'm here, every time that you could be dead, you would just return.

So?

And I'm not here to gatekeep anything, but be careful... I don't want my vessel to die multiple times already.

A chair comes out of nowhere, as I start to look around... This place is a dimension where up and down, left and right could be changed by a lever. The chair circles a giant table...

"Why are all the things here gray? The chair, the table, heck, even the apple tree over there!?"

The Cynic sat on a chair across from me, with his hand on top of the table.

I don't know, you tell me...this is your subconscious realm.

"So, what do you mean by 'be careful'? What do I have to be careful of?"

First of... Can we get rid of this bold text? As I am not using telepathy?

"Thank you." The Cynic said.

"You can use telepathy?!"

The Cynic puts a finger near his mouth, shhh...and then, from nothing, some cutlery comes out of nowhere... A drink? Tea of some sort.

"Please don't change the topic so suddenly..."

I nodded, again, okay?...

"Did you know... That time travels faster when you're here? Probably 1/60 of an hour is the speed-up ratio."

"Interesting... And what about on earth?"

"It's probably about... 1/360."

So it's like that, if so then maybe we could calculate the distance between this world and earth? Probably, but wait-

"Weren't you saying not to change the topic?"

"I don't know what you're talking about... I did not say that."

The Cynic calmly drinks tea from a cup; from the look on his face, that tea didn't taste so great, isn't it?

"So dull, no taste... Just like your head."

"You're gaslighting me, aren't you?"

He hummed, putting the cup down on the table, then turned around.

"Did you know that the term 'gaslighting' originated from a man making a gas lamp dimmer and dimmer, and when his wife told him about it, he just said that she was crazy, and that's where the term originated from."

I tilt my head. Are you serious?

He nodded, with a smile of pride written on his face.

Argh! I couldn't get any answer. I need to get out of this place quickly!

"To get out of the subconscious is to be awake..."

So, this is just a dream, and I need to just 'wake up'? It's not like I had a nap in the middle of a ritual. Oh yeah, I was in the middle of a ritual...

"You've remembered, you're waking up real soon. Just remember, befriend the green-haired girl; she will be handy later. And also... You might be paralyzed for a while..."

A few seconds later... My body slowly turned into dust, and I couldn't hear what The Cynic said at the end. Befriend the green-haired girl? For what? Why? How? And who is the green-haired girl?-

I opened my eyes, finding myself lying in my bedroom, facing straight up into the ceiling. The ringing is still in my ear...

Also my vision, it's kind of blurry, and also some weird colors are showing.

It feels like seeing through a thermal camera, seeing my hand shine radioactive red. Like I could identify what feels hot, not gonna lie, but right now my body is also at an abnormal heat.

Sweat running down my forehead, and my blood racing so quickly, I felt as if the blood wasn't just circulating oxygen throughout my body. This feeling, it's something else.

My hands... I can't move them, also my foot was affected by this. What just happened? The last time Ara did this, there was nothing wrong going on...

By the end of my ear, I heard as if someone dropped something in this room. Who's there?

"Mom! MOM!" That scream, it's Ara. "MOM HE'S AWAKE!"

I heard footsteps running up the stairs a few seconds later.

My situation was uncontrollable, and I was gasping for air like I was suffocating. Also, the thing that I hate most is my vision. Why is it like this?

It's actually like having a fever dream, but I just wake up. It's an illusion, but why is it like this?

Stuff was melting and warping, I couldn't even see nor hear my family above me, looking down at a sick child.

"Shut up, please," I murmured, with as little voice as I could get out.

But I don't think it only affects heat, Ara's sound has been turned into colors, and he voice that I lent out as well had a color. Black and white. Her color was bright yellow, with an orange accent. If somebody would have this color, then it would be Ara.

It was similar to looking at a screen, I feel like someone is knocking on my eyes.

"Noir, Noir! Relax... Try to relax okay?"

That voice is in my right, so it is Ara... And the other one, the blueish green and a dark brown is my mother and father.

I coughed, I felt like I was able to see again-no, I can see again.

Calm down... Calm down...

Every color began to put itself together and made the real one, stuff stop bending and twisting. My vision is back to normal...

I sigh...

Here, I turned it off for you. If you couldn't adapt to this state then you wouldn't be able to move forward...

"The Cynic-"

My family all hugged me, it's like they've just seen someone who has been asleep for a long time.

"Noir!" Ara cried beside me, my mother also cried hysterically. It was my father who was just holding his tears.

"Ah, I couldn't move..."

My muscle feels like a locked door, no matter how hard I tried, it just couldn't move.

"You, you know how much I'm worried? Do you just like seeing me crying?"

"Eh, it's not like that... Big sis."

My father pats Ara's shoulder, taking her away...

"Now, don't be worried. He's still breathing with us here."

My mother fixed my sitting posture, moving even an inch results in incredible pain. It's like all of my bones are broken of some kind.

"Dad, you're not worried?" I asked.

"Nope, not at all. Because I'm always trusting my son could get through whatever the hell you're going through..."

Ara brushed aside father's arm. "He's lying, he's the one who cried the most."

"Hei! We've made a promise to keep it a secret!"

I laugh, lucky, I can still laugh.

Also, I think this is the first time I laughed in this world, what do they think of it?

I realized it was almost night, I woke up at around evening, probably 7 o'clock. That's why Ara was approaching me earlier, probably to feed me.

My mother hugged me again, tighter.

"Mom, it hurts..."

She cried, not a tear was filled with sadness. Relieved and happy. It was the single time my mother cried so much, it feels sad, but when you're crying it's fine. But why when other people were crying, I was affected by their tears.

Later she went down, and the night still had a long time to go through.

Ara waits beside me until morning comes. Even though she just sleeps on the chair beside me.

I couldn't get a wink of sleep, just staring at the ceiling for hours. Forget my broken bones, this is much worse, having to withstand boring nights without doing anything.

Not doing anything for one hour is fine, more than that is hell, and eight hours? It's torture.

"I'm going to protect you, Noir..." Ara babbling in her sleep.

So... What exactly happened?

You wanna know?

Yes.

What's with all these blurry images every few minutes, the random colors shifting and furniture melting? This feels... Like I've taken 50 shots of vodka. I cannot see anything.

The fastest explanation is... You've unlocked your magic prematurely.

Unlocked my magic prematurely? So that means that I could use magic early?

Technically yes... But you know, life needs equilibrium. So it's not all fun and games, sunshine and rainbows.

Ok then, what's stopping me?

Well, there's your own body, other people, and probably me.

What? Why are you stopping me? No! This is a good opportunity, you know? I could learn magic early, and get advantages or have more powers to protect Ara... And my family.

Well, could you move?

I couldn't even move my head to answer 'no' like usual, this is so stupid.

Probably it would take you a month to recover, and then I could grant you the power of using it... Except, you have to do it in a place where you are alone.

Okay, where is that?

I will tell you later, besides, having Veritas-7 in your body... No, never mind.

After that, The Cynic's voice can no longer be heard, it seems as if he's backing up, staying away from me.

It feels empty and lonely without him...

I smiled, why did I think of him? That laughing bastard...