Chapter 6: Love to Live

It had already been an hour since Hào Ràn carried Jeena on his back. The sun had begun to mellow, casting honey-gold streaks through the high canopy of trees as they trekked deeper into the forest. The crisp air was perfumed with pine and damp earth, and the forest whispered in rustling leaves and distant birdcalls.

Hào ràn was bit tired.

Finally, beneath a large pine tree whose branches cast gentle shadows on the forest floor, Hào Ràn gently lowered Jeena down. He let her lean back against the broad trunk and sighed heavily, easing himself down beside her, offering his shoulder to cradle her head.

"Jeena," he murmured with mock sternness, "wake up now. I can't carry you any further up this trail. If you don't, I'll just leave you here as a feast for the mountain beasts."

A voice, soft but playful, replied, "There are no dangerous animals up here... Mostly, they don't usually climb to such altitudes."

He smirked, "So madam finally completed her beauty sleep."

Jeena opened her eyes and tilted her head slightly. "Is a beauty sleep only supposed to be an hour or two? I must be looking absolutely beautiful and radiant by now, right?"

Hào Ràn chuckled, rubbing his sore back. "You won't even let someone else have the last word, huh? My back is aching like hell from carrying you all the way here. You could at least say thank you. But I think you don't know the words apart from arguing, right."

"Gosh, did I ask you to carry me?" she retorted, but her eyes softened. After a beat, she sighed. "Okay... anyway, thank you. For everything you did for me today."

His smile returned, quieter this time. "It's okay. Just... can you please tell me what really happened back there?"

She stood slowly, brushing pine needles off her clothes. "I'll tell you know while we walk. Let's catch up with the team before they go too far. The sun's setting soon, we need to get them before it sets otherwise we could get lost in this forest."

They walked side by side, boots crunching on gravel. For a moment, it was just the rustling forest and their breath. But the air between them was heavy. Hào ràn kept asking the same question but Jeena tried to change the subject again and again.

"Mr. Hào," Jeena finally said, "Why didn't you mention that you're a doctor?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm a doctor, I specialize in cardiothoracic surgery. But don't try to change the subject again and again. I want an answer."

"Answer for what?"

"Don't drive me crazy," he said, his voice rising slightly. "Why were you lying on the ground like that? You coughed blood. You were unconscious. That's not normal fatigue. If you knew something was wrong, why didn't you stay with someone? Why did you need to wander alone all around? Were you trying to... to die alone? Just tell me the truth."

Jeena exhaled a long, trembling breath. Her voice was steady, but quiet. "I have DCM. The final stage. Dilated Cardiomyopathy. There's no cure for me, and I have... maybe few weeks left. My days are on a countdown."

Hào Ràn stopped walking. His face stiffened, the words hanging in the air like frost.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked. I guess even your team didn't know.

"And why do you think you are on countdown. You could still try for surgery. A transplant. It can be treated. Even I've done many..."

"And how many survived?" she cut in, her eyes turning to him.

He faltered. "Even if the success rate is low, there's still a chance. Even one percent is hope. A person should fight for their life and hold onto until there is even a little hope."

"But I'm tired of fighting," she whispered. "I don't want to take that chance. I don't want to die on an operating table, cold and unconscious, my body torn open while I'm not even aware. I want to die while I'm alive. Awake. Aware. I want to see my life before my eyes. Feel it. Breathe it. And let it go in peace."

She stopped and looked up at the amber sky peeking through the trees. Her voice cracked. "I just want to die peacefully. Please, let me be. And before that I just want to live my last days and hold onto the memories, I would think, I have lived."

Hào ràn still convincingly, "Why don't you understand, you can live...,just get the best doctor and hospital and try it..

Where there is will, there is a way…just don't be afraid..you must take the risk to survive."

Jeena got frustrated and screamed, " I don't want to understand anything and neither get understood. Just stop arguing and don't act like you are my family member."

He was silent for a long moment, then reached for her arm, his grip gentle. "Okay... okay. No more arguing."

They walked on, rejoining the group. Lama came rushing over.

"Jeena! Are you alright? What happened to you? You scared us."

She offered a faint smile. "I'm okay. I didn't sleep well last night, that's all. Just... collapsed."

Lama nodded, concern still in his eyes. "It's fine. As long as you're okay. But next time, please tell me if you are tired or anything happens. We are team we should look after each other."

Jeena nodded as okay.

The group resumed their trek. By the time they reached the evening campsite, dusk had fallen like a velvet curtain. The sky turned lavender-blue, stars blinking gently above. We again set up our tent and enjoyed the evening as we also had to return tomorrow.

I again didn't want to be the part of crowd so I slipped away from the others, sitting quietly behind my tent. Soft music played from my phone, mixing with the crackle of the distant campfire and the occasional laughter from the group.

After a while, Hào Ràn joined her. He sat beside her in silence, the night was thick with unspoken words. Without saying anything, he gently draped his coat over her shoulders.

After a while he didn't look at her. But his voice, quiet and broken, said, "Why do you keep saying you want to die? I think the risk of surgery isn't the only reason."

He turned his head slightly, his tone tender. "Then what is it?"

She hesitated. "In my twenty-five years, I never once truly lived. I ran, chased things, worked hard, but... I never paused. I never felt the breeze, or listened to the rain, or really... loved. When death brushed near, I realized I have no real memories. No warmth. I didn't treasure life. So now, when I finally wish to live, isn't it too late? Isn't it hypocrisy to suddenly want what I ignored for so long? I don't find myself worthy of having this precious life any longer which I can't treasure."

"No," Hào Ràn replied softly. "That's called awakening. And that deserves a second chance. Even a third."

Jeena shook her head. "But I have no reason now. Not for myself. I'm the culprit of my own life. I don't deserve more."

He turned to her then. His voice steady but low.

"Then love me."

She stared at him, startled. "What?? What do you mean?"

"Love me," he repeated. "People die for love. People live for love. People survive for it. So love me, Jeena. Please want to live... for me."

She could only gaze at him, with her wide eyes, and thundering heart, her breath caught in her throat.

Her chest rose and fell slowly as his words sank in like the night air. In that moment, with starlight tangled in her hair and a heartbeat echoing far too loud in her ears, she couldn't tell if what she felt was fear, or the first spark of something terrifyingly beautiful.

•••••

TO BE CONTINUED...