Farewell, My Dear Light

Days pass like a blur.

It's a strange thing—how time feels both infinite and fleeting when you know it's slipping through your fingers. One second, I'm waking up to the sound of Akari humming some off-key tune in the kitchen, and the next, I'm watching her sleep on the couch with her hand still clasped in mine, the faint flicker of the TV painting shadows on her face.

I stopped counting the days. It doesn't matter anymore. Numbers, seconds, the tick of the clock—I once ruled them. Now I chase them.

Akari took time off work. She said it so casually, like it wasn't a big deal. Like taking a break from a world that would never understand us was a small price to pay for mornings filled with warm coffee, crooked smiles, and stolen kisses.

We went out. Often. Grocery stores. Malls. Karaoke bars. Parks. Even that weird old arcade with the broken claw machine that she insists isn't rigged but has definitely stolen her coins more times than she'll admit. And me? I just laugh. I laugh because it's easier than thinking. Easier than crying. Easier than remembering that to everyone else around us, she's alone.

But we don't care.

We made that choice the moment she pulled me back into her apartment and said she didn't care if the world forgot me—as long as she didn't. That's the part that kills me the most. The strength in her eyes when she said that. Like she could bear the weight of two existences by herself.

I see the looks they give her. The whispers. The pity. The way they glance, look away, then glance again, unsure if she's just lonely or losing her mind.

And she never flinches. Never hesitates. When Mrs. Henderson caught her talking to me outside the building, the old woman asked if she was okay. Akari just smiled, radiant and unshaken, and said, "I'm talking to the one I love."

I couldn't stand it.

I turned around, leaned against the wall, and let the tears fall.

I've never felt weaker in my entire existence.

This power—I once wielded it like a sword, a shield, a tool. Now it feels like a curse. A punishment.

So I stopped. I stopped using it. I haven't paused time, reversed a moment, slowed a second. Not since she asked me not to. Because for her, I would do anything. Even let the world spin without my influence. Even let her stumble, fall, bruise—if it means she lives freely. With me. Truly with me.

She tripped the other day at the mall, near the escalator. My instincts screamed at me to stop time and save her from the fall. But I didn't. I clenched my fists, froze in place, and did nothing.

She landed on her knees. Her bag spilled everywhere. I knelt beside her, scooping up apples and candy and a stray sock she swore wasn't hers. And then she laughed.

"Well, that's one way to make an entrance."

And I laughed, too.

I don't know what kind of idiot I've become, but I know I'm a happy one. A hopeless, love-struck idiot who follows this girl from one ridiculous store to another just to hear her ramble about flavors of instant noodles or how cats must be reincarnated philosophers.

We watched a movie last night. Something romantic. Something slow and dreamy. She cried. I pretended not to. She caught me anyway and teased me the rest of the night.

Every moment feels like a borrowed second. Every breath beside her, a gift I never deserved.

I used to be a cosmic being. A warden of time. An observer of humanity, untouched by their chaos.

Now, I'm just a man in love. And I've never been more terrified. Never been so happy.

Because the end is coming. I feel it. Every day, I flicker a little more. I fade around the edges like smoke in the wind. Sometimes, my reflection doesn't show in glass. Sometimes, I speak and she doesn't hear it right away.

But she never lets go.

She holds my hand when we walk. She talks to me in front of others. She smiles like nothing is wrong, even when I see her crying alone in the bathroom.

I heard her once, talking to herself when she thought I wasn't listening.

"Please... just a little longer."

And I pressed my forehead against the door, biting back the sobs.

Just a little longer. That's what we're both hoping for.

That's all we have now.

A little longer.

A little more.

I don't know how many more chapters we get.

But if this is the penultimate page...

Then I want to fill it with her laughter, her stories, her touch, her voice.

I want to live in the blur. The illusion. The fantasy that maybe time will forget its rules just this once. For us.

Just this once.

Because I love her.

Because I'm not ready.

Because she's the only thing that's ever made me want to stay.

***

And ofcourse, a new day has passed.

And for us... that means another chance to live.

Even if our time together is borrowed.

Even if the hourglass is nearly empty.

Akari wakes me up like she always does—like it's our first day all over again. Her voice rings with warmth, her smile radiant in the pale moonlight. It's nearly midnight, and neither of us wants to sleep. Maybe because we know that if we close our eyes, we might miss something. Even something as small as tonight.

She beams at me, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Come on, get up! We're watching a movie tonight! And we need popcorn!"

How could I ever say no to that face?

I get up from the couch with a chuckle.

She's already in her boots, coat half-zipped, bouncing like a child. I grab her scarf and loop it properly around her neck, pulling the ends snug.

"It's freezing, Akari," I say with mock sternness.

She pouts. "You sound like a worried grandpa."

I raise an eyebrow. "You sound like someone who's going to catch pneumonia if she keeps underestimating winter."

"Ughhh," she groans but lets me zip her coat all the way. I know she hates it—being bundled up, smothered by fabric—but she lets me do it anyway. Because she knows I'm scared. Terrified. Of what might happen if I let her go without being sure she's safe.

But even all the precautions in the world can't protect someone from fate.

We walk hand in hand toward the convenience store, the snowfall light but persistent. The street is quiet, save for the crunch of snow beneath our boots and the little hum of Akari's voice.

She never stops talking. Random stories. About her day, about something funny she read, about a dog she saw that reminded her of a bread loaf. I soak it all in. Every word. Every giggle. Every time she squeezes my hand.

People still look at her funny. Talking to herself, they think.

I don't care. Neither does she.

She's talking to me.

And I am here.

We reach the convenience store, buy the popcorn. Buttered, of course—her favorite. On our way back, just a few streets away from the apartment, she sees the vending machine and gasps.

"Shiwei! Popcorn's no good without soda!"

I roll my eyes, amused. "Really? At this hour? In this cold?"

She sticks her tongue out. "Let me treat you this time!"

She trots ahead before I can respond, approaching the vending machine like it's a mission.

She looks left and right before stepping off the sidewalk, her head swiveling both ways. She's being careful. She's learned so much.

My heart warms at the sight.

She presses the button, coins clinking. The can drops.

And then the sound.

Screeching tires.

A blur of headlights. A black car swerving out of control on the icy road.

"AKARI!"

My heart lurches. My pulse screams in my ears. My lungs squeeze shut.

"STOP!" I shout, voice raw, cracking, desperate—

And time—

Slows.

No.

It stops.

Because I made it stop.

Everything around us freezes. The snowflakes suspended mid-air, the vending machine light flickering in stillness, the soda can hovering just above the ground where she dropped it in surprise.

My breathing is uneven. Shallow. My hands tremble as I stare at the frozen scene.

At the car, inches from her.

At her body frozen in motion, terror just starting to form on her face.

My chest burns. My legs are weak. My vision spins.

And I know it.

This is it.

I used my power again.

Out of fear.

Out of desperation.

Out of love...

And this time, it wasn't a small area. It wasn't just the street.

It was the whole world.

I feel it. The threads unraveling. The hourglass pouring its final grains. My presence disintegrating at the seams.

I fall to my knees, gasping. My body trembles, cracking from within. But I force myself to stand again.

One last time.

One last moment.

I step forward. Slowly. Each movement ripping at the fabric of my being. Every atom feels like it's breaking apart.

I reach her.

Time resumes.

The can clinks to the ground. The snow falls.

And Akari stares at me.

She knows.

She drops everything.

"No..." she breathes. Her voice trembles. "No... NO! SHIWEI!"

She runs to me.

She holds me.

But I'm already starting to fade.

Cracks appear across my arms, like porcelain shattering. The light spills out of me. My time is gone.

"Why did you do it?!" she screams, sobbing, her tears soaking into my coat. "You promised me! You PROMISED ME you wouldn't use your powers again! You said... you said we still had time!"

I try to speak.

Nothing comes out.

I try again.

My voice returns, soft and shaking.

"You were in danger... I had to."

"I don't care!" she sobs. "I don't care if I get hurt... I don't care if I fall or trip or get sick! I just want you to stay! Please! Don't go!"

I hug her.

With what little strength I have left—

I hold her close. As close as the universe will allow me.

I bury my face in her hair, where time still feels soft, still feels real. I memorize it all—

Her warmth.

Her scent.

Her trembling heartbeat against my chest.

The way her hands clutch at me like she's trying to hold me here... as if her love alone could fight time itself.

Tears blur my vision, but I don't close my eyes.

Not yet.

I want to remember her like this.

I whisper, voice quivering, "Thank you... for everything, Akari. For loving me. For choosing me... even when I was never meant to stay."

She shakes her head violently, her tears falling faster. "No... no, please... don't say that... please... just stay... stay..."

"I would... I swear I would," I whisper, my voice cracking. "But time... it's greedy. It always takes."

Another crack.

A piece of my shoulder breaks off, shattering into light.

I wince—but I smile through it. For her.

"You gave me something... something no cosmic being was ever meant to have..."

Crack.

Light bursts from my ribs. I gasp, but I don't let go.

"You gave me a reason to stop running... to stop hiding..."

"You gave me something worth breaking for."

She clings tighter, like she's trying to stitch me back together with her fingers alone. Her sobs are quiet, but they shake my whole being.

"You taught me what love is... Not the eternal, abstract kind... but the real one. The one that hurts. The one that laughs. The one that cries beside you at 3AM and still chooses you the next day..."

Crack.

My leg buckles, but I keep standing.

"I wanted more time. I wanted to grow old with you... to argue over silly things... to see what kind of kids we'd have..."

I chuckle softly through the tears.

"...to keep your feet warm during winter nights."

"I wanted everything with you, Akari."

I pull back, just enough to see her one last time.

Her face—the last thing I'll see as I disappear into the fabric of time.

I smile, through the tears and the breaking, I smile like this is the happiest moment of my life. Because it is.

"Akari!" I cry out, louder than I've ever spoken, louder than the wind, louder than the universe, "I LOVE YOU!"

And just before everything goes white—

Just before my voice fades, before my thoughts unravel, before time reclaims every part of me—

I look at her.

And from the deepest part of what's left of me... I try to hold onto that last thought.

Thank you... for the tears, the laughter... the dreams we never got to live... It was all worth it. Every second with you... was worth breaking for.

And as the light swallows me—

I look at her. 

One last time...

 And I say, from the very core of my soul...

Farewell... my dear Light...