Chapter 27. Sparks Fly.

"Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around. Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile."

The drive to the shopping center was filled with the usual chaos. Dani DJing with an ever-changing playlist, Mallory navigating with questionable accuracy, and Hannah excitedly listing all the things she wanted to buy. I mostly kept quiet, still recovering from the physical exertion and mentally preparing myself for the one activity I disliked most.

Shopping.

We hit an array of shops, each one sucking more energy from my soul. The others browsed effortlessly, flipping through racks and gushing over clothes, while I hovered near the trinkets, pretending to be as enthused as they were. Still, I managed to grab a few small things: a new bathing suit, a cute bracelet, a candle I'd probably never light, and a tank top I didn't hate. Small victories.

Things were going surprisingly well. Until we wandered into a boutique that sold lingerie.

Hannah beelined straight for a lacy set in deep red, holding it up with a satisfied grin. "This is perfect."

"For what?" I asked, even though I already knew.

She smirked. "For tonight. I told you, I'm laying my cards on the table with Justin and this screams "take me now or don't take me at all"."

My stomach twisted, the casual mention of his name making my skin feel too tight. I glanced at Dani and Mallory, and I knew they saw it. Discomfort written on my face. But Hannah was oblivious, too caught up in her plans.

"Oh, this one's cute too," she continued, pulling out another set. "What do you guys think?"

Dani and Mallory chimed in with their opinions, but I could barely hear them over the rush of thoughts in my head. She was planning this—planning to be with him. And why shouldn't she? He was hers to want, hers to have. That was the deal, wasn't it? That's what Justin and I agreed on. 

I swallowed the bitterness creeping up my throat and forced a neutral expression, nodding vaguely. "Yeah, it's nice."

I rummaged through a rack, trying to preoccupy myself. Like I didn't know Justin was going to be waiting for me later tonight. But after her display, was he still going to show up?

My heart sank a little at the thought. Was this morning the last time? Had I been stupid to think I could handle casual sex?

I hated shopping before. But now? Now, I despised it.

Because this wasn't just shopping. It was a reminder of the tangled web I had willingly walked into, only now realizing how tightly it had wrapped around me. And I wasn't sure how to get out.

Maybe this was the sign I needed to shift my focus solely on Erik. It was just sex with Justin, after all. Besides, she wanted more from him. She wanted to build a future, to convince him to have his babies. That just wasn't something I wanted. Not from him, at least. I'm taking this as a sign.

Dani caught on quick. She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward a nearby rack, pretending to browse baby doll sets.

"Are you okay?" she asked, keeping her voice low, letting the music swallow her words.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I flipped through the hangers, faking interest. "I guess I just feel weird knowing what she's going to wear to… make him want her."

Dani didn't buy it. She tugged my arm just enough to force me to look at her. "August, this is exactly what I warned you about. You hear that?" She tapped her fingers against my wrist. "That's the sound of you starting to get burned."

I pulled away, exhaling sharply. "I'm not getting burned."

Dani raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.

I lowered my voice but couldn't keep the frustration out. "But you have to admit it's weird. It's weird getting texts from him about wanting to fuck me, meanwhile she's over here picking out little pieces of fabric so he can fuck her. It's weird."

My voice came out louder than I intended, but no one seemed to notice. No one except Dani, who just sighed, giving me a look that said, See? This is what I mean.

She let out a sharp breath, shaking her head. "August, listen to yourself." She stared at me, unimpressed. "You're acting like some innocent bystander in all this when you're not. You made a deal with Justin, and now you're pissed that he's still acting like Justin?"

I opened my mouth, but she didn't let me.

"You knew this was gonna happen," she continued. "You told me, yourself, you're okay with wanting different things. Because he doesn't do relationships. He doesn't do commitment. And Hannah? She doesn't know that. She has no idea she's stepping into this mess. She'll figure it out sooner or later."

I glanced toward Hannah, who was still chatting with Mallory, oblivious. My stomach twisted.

Dani's voice softened, but the weight of her words didn't. "But you, you need to figure out what you actually want, Auggie. Because this whole 'pretending you're cool with it when you're clearly not' thing? It's only gonna end one way." 

I crossed my arms, just staring at the rack in front of me. I had nothing to say because she wasn't wrong about a single thing. I agreed to this. I knew what it was. I told myself I could handle it. So why did it feel like my chest was caving in? Why did it feel like something that wasn't mine to begin with was slipping out of my fingers?

I swallowed hard, my fingers mindlessly sifting through the lace and silk in front of me. "I know," I finally muttered. "I know what I signed up for."

Dani arched a brow. "Then act like it."

I let out a dry laugh, shaking my head. "Easier said than done."

She sighed, her frustration dimming just a little. "Then figure it out, Auggie. Before it figures you out first."

Mallory and Hannah finally walked over to us, giving me the chance to breathe from Dani's tough love. I know she's right, I just need to give myself time to process. 

In that moment I knew exactly what I needed to do. I pulled my phone out and started texting him. 

August: "so what are the plans for tonight? Should I eat or wait?" 

Erik: "if you're starving eat but if you can wait then please wait." 

August: "waiting it is!"

I put my phone back in my pocket and let out a sharp exhale. I have to stick to the plan. Focus on what I actually want. No matter what pull I think Justin has on me. I can't get burned. Getting burned by my mom was enough for a lifetime. 

I slipped back into the conversation they were having about thongs versus g-strings. And I had to pretend like I wasn't screaming on the inside. 

The rest of the shopping trip passed in a blur of pastel lace, overpriced swimsuits, and Mallory arguing that g-strings were a personal attack on human decency. I played along, laughing at the right moments, nodding where it mattered, but my mind never fully left Dani's words.

Figure it out before it figures you out first.

By the time we piled into the car, our bags crammed in the trunk, the sun had started its slow descent, casting everything in that soft golden glow that made Hawaii feel like something out of a dream. Hannah was talking about dinner plans suggesting a place with oceanfront views, when my phone buzzed.

Erik: "hey take your time getting ready when you get back. Just let me know when you're done."

Simple. Straight to the point. No room for questioning.

I let out a slow breath, locking my phone before glancing up. "I'm actually gonna skip dinner," I said, keeping my tone casual. "Erik and I have plans!"

Hannah perked up, eyes shining. "Oh, that's so cute! Do you know where he's taking you?"

"No clue," I admitted. "But I'm guessing it involves food, so I'll be good."

Dani, sitting next to me in the backseat, gave me a long look. She didn't say anything, just arched a brow like she was waiting for me to admit something. I ignored it, turning my gaze back to the window.

I could do this. I would do this. Justin would have his night. I was going to have mine.

The girls dropped me off at the entrance of the driveway before speeding off to their now made dinner reservations. I walked into a very quiet house, all the lights were off and the sun barely casted light through the windows. I ran up to my room and jumped in the shower. 

I put on a pink silk halter dress, the necklace Mallory gave me for my birthday and some heels. I threw on a bit of blush, some mascara and lip gloss before I finally got a text from Erik. 

Erik: "hey I'm downstairs. Keep taking your time. Just wanted to let you know I'm here. 

August: "okay 5 more mins!"

I ended up adding a little dash of highlighter on my cheeks and a few sprays of perfume and I finally left my room. I made my way through the hall and past the den, all the lights were still off. Justin, Marshall or Hunter still weren't home, but I paid that no mind. I was too preoccupied thinking about Hannah showing up to Justin in the lacy set she chose. I felt guilty for even having that on my mind. Knowing Erik was waiting for me downstairs and while I don't know what he has planned I'm sure it's going to be beautiful. 

As I made my way down the steps I could already see Erik waiting for me in a nice black button up and some black pants. His usual combo. His smile beamed as I finally made it to him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and greeted me with the warmest welcome. 

"August, somehow you get more beautiful by the day." His voice came out low but steady. I could feel my smile grow as did his. 

"Stop it! It's too early to have me blushing this much." I covered my mouth slightly, feeling my face grow warm. "So where are we going tonight? I hope I didn't overdress."

He shook his head slowly and smiled. "No you look perfect. And we're not going very far but I hope that's okay." 

He grabbed my hand and we headed for the back door. I wrapped my fingers around his, a little hesitant because I assumed we would be using one of the cars while instead we were just going to walk. We made it outside the sun fully set at this point. 

"The shoes might not be the best choice. If you want to take them off and leave them here? You won't need them." He smiled at me and waved his hand to lift my shoe up so he could help me undo my shoes. He untied them and held onto them as we made it to the sand. My hand was in his other hand. 

As we stepped onto the sand, the full setup came into view, I felt a small gasp escape me.

A small, round table sat beneath a canopy of twinkling lights, draped in soft white linen. A candle flickered at the center, casting a golden glow over the carefully arranged place settings. A bottle of Moscato was on the table already uncorked. 

A warm breeze carried the faint scent of the ocean, mingling with something rich and buttery in the air. It was quiet, secluded, like a secret world carved out just for us.

As we stepped closer to the table, Erik pulled out my chair, the glow of the candlelight flickering across his face.

And there, waiting for me on the seat, was a bouquet of white ranunculus.

It still shocked me how he was able to get them out of season. I glanced up at him, unable to hide the surprise in my eyes. He just smiled, easy and self-assured, like he had been waiting for me to notice.

 And just as I was about to speak he beat me to the punchline. 

"Near impossible, August, but not impossible." He winked at me as I took my seat setting the flowers on the side of the table. He took the seat across from me and settled in. 

"I can't believe you've managed to get these flowers not once, not twice but three times. I'm genuinely impressed. I…love them. Thank you." I grabbed the bouquet again, taking another sniff before setting them back down. 

Erik smiled, watching me with quiet satisfaction, before reaching for his glass of wine. "Anything for you, August."

We both took a sip, the Moscato crisp and sweet on my tongue, the golden liquid catching the candlelight. I glanced around, taking in the warm, intimate setting—the soft glow of the lights, the rhythmic sound of the waves in the background. It felt like a dream.

"You know, I never imagined a dinner like this for us," I said, smiling at him across the table. "I mean, this is… this is incredible. Definitely not what I expected tonight."

"Good. I'm glad I could surprise you," he replied with that easy grin of his. "I wanted it to feel… special. You deserve that."

I felt my heart do a little flip at his words, but I pushed the feeling down as I speared a scallop. The buttery flavor was perfect, rich and savory, just how I liked it.

"This is honestly my favorite meal," I said after a moment, pausing to savor a bite. "Garlic butter scallops? Can't top it."

He raised his glass, acknowledging my words with a nod. "It was a lucky guess. But I'm glad you like it."

We fell into an easy rhythm, exchanging lighthearted banter and making small talk between bites. We talked about the books we'd been reading lately, and whether or not we were planning to take a trip anytime soon after this. The food was delicious, and the wine only made everything feel smoother. As time passed, I began to relax into the night, enjoying the simple pleasure of his company.

But then, there was a shift. He set his fork down slowly, his gaze turning thoughtful as he looked at me across the table. I raised an eyebrow, sensing the change in energy. Erik wasn't one to push, but there was something in his eyes that told me he was about to ask something more serious.

He took a deep breath, and before I could ask what was on his mind, he spoke.

"So… I know you've been through a lot lately," he said, his voice steady but gentle. "With your mom, I mean."

My breath caught, and I paused, setting my fork down. The atmosphere, so light and relaxed just moments ago, shifted to something more vulnerable.

"I don't want to overstep," he continued, his voice careful, "but how are you feeling about everything now that you've found out the truth? About her?"

I felt a knot form in my stomach, but I didn't look away. Erik wasn't asking because he wanted to dig up wounds. He was asking because he cared. And I realized, in that moment, how much I needed someone who truly wanted to understand.

I took a breath, steadying myself. "I don't really know how to feel, honestly. Part of me is angry, just angry that she did that to me, that she lied. I wasted so much time… so much of my life. But then there's this other part of me that feels… guilty. Like, maybe I should've known. I should've seen through it."

"August," Erik said softly, his voice soothing. "You did the best you could. It's not your fault. You trusted her. And what she did, that was on her."

I let out a long, shaky breath. "I feel like I lost a part of myself in all of it. I gave up so much to care for her. And now it's like… I don't even know who I am outside of that."

Erik's eyes softened as he leaned in slightly, his hand reaching across the table to touch mine. "You don't have to know all the answers right now. Just know that you're allowed to grieve, to be angry, to feel whatever you need to feel. You don't have to carry it all on your own."

I squeezed his hand, feeling a lump in my throat. I hadn't realized how much I needed to hear that. "I don't even know where to start… with letting go of all of it."

"That's okay," he said gently, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. "You'll find your way. And I'll be here for you. Whatever you need."

I smiled, a quiet sense of relief washing over me. He is so thoughtful in everything he does. Even when asking about something so..touchy. 

"I'm sorry for bringing it up. I just wanted to check in on you," Erik said, his smile gentle.

I shook my head, offering him a reassuring smile. "It's okay. I've been pushing down all of my thoughts since landing, that I didn't realize how much I needed to talk about it, so thank you."

He took a sip of wine, his eyes never leaving mine. I swallowed the knot in my throat and reached for my glass. "I think I'm ready for a change. Maybe that's where I start. Leave my mom and what she did in the past."

Erik's gaze softened. He brushed my fingers with his. "You will. And whatever you need, you've got me."

I smiled, the tension easing, and he stood, extending his hand. "Walk with me?"

I took his hand, standing up and walking with him, the candlelight fading behind us as we strolled along the beach. The night air was cool, the waves crashing softly beside us.

Eventually, we found a spot near the water. Erik sat first and gently pulled me down beside him, never letting go of my hand. I smiled, teasing, "You're really good at making me feel seen."

Erik chuckled. "That's the idea."

Then, without warning, he kissed me, slow and deep, pulling me closer. But when he pulled back, a wave of guilt washed over me. I thought of Justin, of the past, of what Erik might think. The weight of unspoken expectations lingered.

Erik noticed my shift and pulled back slightly. "Hey, if I'm pushing you, just say so."

I reached for his hand quickly, not wanting him to pull away. "No, it's not that. I'm just… trying to figure out who I am now. Everything I was raised to believe has changed, and I don't know where I stand."

His eyes softened, and he squeezed my hand. "You don't have to explain anything. I'm just happy to be here, with you."

My guilt seeped through my smile, but I pushed it aside as best I could. Whatever was going on with Justin didn't belong here, not right now, with Erik.

I breathed out a sigh of relief and leaned in to kiss him again. This time, everything felt right. His lips were soft but insistent, pulling me in with a slow, deep intensity that made my heart race. His hand moved to my back, pulling me closer as the warmth of his body sent a shiver through me. Time seemed to stretch in that moment, as if the entire world had melted away, leaving just the two of us, his kiss, his warmth.

When he finally pulled back his forehead resting against mine, he had a gentle smile and I could feel my own smile grow as we caught our breath. A mix of emotions swirled inside me and the quiet between us felt more comfortable now, like we'd found a rhythm we both understood. He held my hand as we stood, and after a beat, he gently tugged me along.

"Come on," Erik said softly. "Let me walk you back."

We strolled slowly, side by side, the night air cool against my skin. The stars overhead seemed a little brighter, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore made everything feel peaceful. 

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb brushing over my knuckles, and I felt that familiar warmth spread through me again. We didn't talk much on the way but we didn't need to, the silence was comforting. 

By the time we reached the house, the sound of laughter drifted from the front. The others were back—everyone, except for Justin and Hannah. Erik walked me to the door and paused, turning to face me with that familiar, reassuring smile. "I had a wonderful time tonight, August." He said softly, his eyes lingering on mine. 

"Thank you for tonight Erik." I nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude and something deeper, and stepped inside. The familiar chatter of the group greeted me, and I tried to shake the lingering warmth of the evening, though I couldn't quite forget the way Erik had kissed me, or how easy it had felt to be with him.

But as I made my way to the living room, something else lingered… a small, quiet reminder of the tension I hadn't fully resolved. A flicker of guilt, and a memory of Justin's face, flashing in the back of my mind. I took a deep breath, willing the memory away and eased myself to the world around me. 

The conversation around was lighthearted, everyone was unwinding from their day. Jacob was telling stories about their experience with Paddleboard Pilates and how no one could stay on their board long enough. The night moved on with ease, drinks began flowing but my mind stayed on Justin and Hannah's absence. And how no one was questioning it, which in my mind meant one thing. The lingerie worked. 

My thoughts started feeling all consuming. Every memory rushed through me with a wave of uncertainty. I had been having so much fun that I never thought about the inevitable end. I hadn't thought about how involved I actually was. I needed to step away before I could no longer breathe. 

I stood up suddenly, capturing everyone's attention. The room which was once bustling became completely silent. 

"Sorry," I let out a nervous chuckle. "This bra is really starting to stab me and I can't take it anymore. I'll be back, I'm gonna change." I smiled as convincingly as I could, before turning to look at Mallory and Dani who had concern written on their faces. I looked at Erik one last time and his smile was still warm, unsuspecting of what my emotions really meant. Only making me feel worse. 

I climbed the stairs a little too quickly, my chest tightening. By the time I reached my room, I closed the door behind me, not slamming it, just needing a second to breathe.

I let out a slow exhale, pressing my back against the door. How did I let it get this far? How did I convince myself it wouldn't feel like this?

For a fleeting second, a thought I didn't want to entertain crept in. Maybe my mom was right.

I shook my head, shoving the thought away. I wasn't going to let her voice be the loudest one in my head ever again.

I took a steadying breath before pulling on a pair of sweats and a tank top, grounding myself in the simple movements. I couldn't let this keep getting to me. It's okay that he's with her—in a way I know I'd miss. That was the deal. That's what we agreed to. I just had to stop letting it burn.

By the time I made it back downstairs, I felt steadier. The room hadn't changed, everyone was still laughing, still caught up in their own easy moments. The only ones missing now were Mallory and Dani.

I slipped back into my seat next to Erik, picking up the thread of conversation like a little piece of me hadn't just been torn away.

The night wound down slowly, conversations fading into lazy laughter as one by one, people started turning in. I stayed curled up in my seat, listening, smiling when it felt right, but the knot in my stomach never fully loosened.

Eventually, Erik stretched beside me, his fingers brushing over mine. "You ready to call it a night?"

I nodded, offering him a small smile. "Yeah, I think so."

As we stood, he lingered for a moment, eyes soft as he reached for my waist, pulling me in just slightly. The kiss he pressed against my lips was warm, easy—the kind of kiss I should have melted into. So, I did. I let myself play the part, let my hands rest lightly against his chest, let my lips move against his like I meant it.

But deep down, I felt nothing.

Or rather, I felt everything else.

I pulled back before the moment could stretch too long, offering him another small smile. "Goodnight, Erik."

"Goodnight, August," he murmured, brushing his thumb over my hand before stepping back.

I made my way to my room, exhaling as I shut the door behind me. I did the right thing. I should feel good about this. But as I climbed into bed, that knot in my stomach only twisted tighter.

Justin still wasn't back.

And no one else seemed to notice, which could only mean one thing. They had sex.