Shattered

Hinata's POV

"Zeke! You are not ready to move yet."

I was reprimanding him 'cause he was about to remove the dextrose that was attached to his arm. Three days had passed already, and he was making lots of progress. However, we were still waiting for the doctor's clearance before we could finally leave the hospital and go home. 

"I told you that I was fine. You're just the one making a big deal out of it. Besides, I have a lot of catching up to do in the office because I am here," he stubbornly said. 

His jaw was set in a hard way, an indication that he was annoyed and that he would not take no for an answer. For some reason, that made my blood boil. I was exhausted from all the sleepless nights. I was frustrated about having to postpone my plan. I was stressed from keeping myself sane in the middle of all these. The last ounce of my patience had finally reached its final straw. 

"Can you please listen to me at least for once!!?? Who's to blame for you ending up here, huh? You put this upon yourself, so you don't even have the slightest right to be this hardheaded and cranky when all you need to do is lie on the hospital bed!"

I was panting after I finished because I was so mad. I could feel the heat embracing my whole body, which made me want to lash out. I wanted to hold and break something, anything, just so I could release the tension I was feeling. 

"What are you talking about? You know very well that it was an accident, Hinata. Don't put the blame on me."

I could see red, I swear. My nostrils were flaring, and I badly wanted to punch him in the face. I was at the point where I no longer cared if he was in the healing process. I just wanted to hit him for being such a jerk.

"Yeahhhh! It was an accident. A freaking accident! A circumstance that nobody wanted but still happened anyway. But you know what? I still wanted to blame you. For being here, for being an asshole, for being the Zeke you've become. Most of all, I blame you for putting my life on hold!"

I knew that I was not making sense at the moment, but I was so disappointed. In him. In the situation. In myself. I was so close. I was almost there in putting my life back on track, but I was here. That chance I had, slipped in my fingers in just a blink of an eye. I felt cheated by the universe. 

I harshly wiped the tears that shamelessly fell from my eyes with my clenched hands. I turned my back on him and focused on calming myself while silently crying. I cursed myself for being this weak in front of him. I thought I was already strong enough. I thought I was brave enough to just plaster a consistent smile on my face while tending to him. But even the strongest walls break when smashed consistently by a hammer. What difference would that make me?

"What did you say?" I heard him ask in a low tone. 

I didn't answer or face him. I was terrified that when I opened my mouth, I would blurt things that I would regret later on. The deafening silence that followed echoed in my mind and heart. I sensed something inside me break a million times, and they're bleeding, hurting me in ways unimaginable. It's excruciatingly painful seeing my marriage crumble at my feet. That no matter how hard I try, I cannot pick up the pieces without dying in the process. 

I tried to muffle the first sob, but my body betrayed me. I could not hold it in anymore. My breathing hitched and I hunched forward slightly, the pain cracking through my composure like lightning through glass. 

And then, like a dam giving way, it all poured out. 

My sobs grew louder, raw and unfiltered, no longer careful or composed. My body convulsed in pure anguish. I clutched my chest, as if trying to hold my heart in place. My precious little heart. 

I wasn't just crying anymore- it was the sound of me breaking. Shattered. Destroyed. 

I was caught up in all my emotions that I became oblivious to my surroundings. I didn't notice that Zeke was already so close behind me. 

"Damn it, Hinata! Answer me."

He was trying to make me face him. He was trying to catch my eye. He was trying to reach my soul. He was trying to read my heart. He was desperately trying, which made me sob harder. Why now? When I no longer have the strength to try? When the slightest flicker of hope inside me just dies mercilessly? When I am so worn out, there's nothing left in me?

Despite the blur in my vision from crying so hard. I reached out and gently touched his face, needing to feel him- to make sure he was still there. I searched for his eyes, and for a moment, I could see fear. Or maybe it was just an illusion. I smiled and spoke the words that I knew would forever change both our lives. 

"Zeke, let's have an annulment."