Chapter 3: A Greeting So Strong It Hurt Feelings
Mu had learned three things since waking up in this world:
1. The floor is cold.
2. The robes are itchy.
3. Monks don't like unsolicited greetings.
Still, that didn't stop him.
He greeted everyone.
Whether it was a sleepy disciple, a passing bird, or a confused squirrel that dropped a nut on his head—Mu would bow, smile, and chant:
> "Amitābha." [+1]
And somehow... the world responded.
---
🧘 The Daily Routine of Confusion
Each morning began with tea.
Then sweeping.
Then greeting every object in a ten-meter radius.
Shen, Mu's unofficial roommate and official panic distributor, finally snapped during morning chores.
"Mu, stop greeting the mop!"
Mu looked serious. "It leaned respectfully."
"You said that about the chair."
"It bowed first."
Head Monk passed by. "Mu, if you greet the laundry again, I'll assign you to toilet duty."
Mu nodded. "Amitābha."
> [+1] [Toilet Duty Resistance +1]
---
🧙 The System Evolves… or Pretends To
Mu sat cross-legged under a tree. The System Interface floated like a transparent rice cracker in front of him.
> [Current Energy: 27] [Next Upgrade: 30 – Passive: Polite Persistence]
He poked it mentally.
"What happens if I hit 100?"
> [You may unlock 'Universal Greeting'. All beings, spiritual or otherwise, will be forced to acknowledge your presence for 3 seconds. Use wisely. Or not.]
Mu grinned. "That's dangerously passive-aggressive."
---
🥋 Combat Practice… Sort Of
A sparring match was arranged.
All disciples were expected to participate.
Mu stepped up to his opponent—a burly, grim-faced senior who had already broken three wooden staffs today.
The crowd whispered, "He's dead."
Mu smiled and bowed.
> "Amitābha." [+1]
The opponent snorted. "What's that supposed to—"
He swung.
Mu didn't move.
The staff snapped mid-air.
Both halves clattered to the ground.
Mu blinked.
The system pinged:
> [Spirit Echo triggered: 12% backlash]
The senior fell to one knee, coughing.
"I—I don't feel so good."
Head Monk rubbed his temples. "Mu, what did you do?"
"I greeted him."
"You're not supposed to weaponize compassion!"
Mu shrugged. "I think it's mutual enlightenment."
---
🎓 In the Head Monk's Office… Again
"Mu," the Head Monk sighed, "You're not failing. You're just… redefining success into something the heavens may not recognize."
"Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
Mu poured tea.
"I had a dream," he said softly.
"Was it a divine revelation?"
"No. I was greeting a rock and it greeted back."
The Head Monk stood. "Out."
---
🌙 That Night…
Mu sat beneath the stars.
Doom-snack, the monastery's oversized demon beast-in-training, sat beside him, licking a tree.
Mu bowed to the moon.
> "Amitābha." [+1]
The wind blew gently.
And somewhere far off…
A cultivator suddenly sneezed and felt the urge to apologize.