Operation: Literally the Neglected Children of Outpost 3

I'd been talking with Uzi on and off nearly a dozen times in the past week as we coordinated things and I set up my plans to guilt-trip everyone into accepting my favorite autistic gremlin demigoddess-to-be among our friend group. Uzi herself was frakking seven years old and her coding knowledge already rivalled college students studying the topic, and I caught her with a high-school level engineering book just the other day, so she probably wouldn't be that far behind in weapons design either. I know the show didn't focus on it too hard, but Uzi was a fucking genius by the pilot, and was already a fucking genius even now, and I really meant that. I did notice, however, that she didn't seem to have a phone of her own, and that any messaging I'd been doing with her had been purely on her own OS. She seemed happy with that, but it was something that I noted down, nonetheless. But the days ticked by regardless as I brainstormed and Uzi coded a bluetooth program to connect Lizzy's OS directly to her phone. I did use my admittedly limited knowledge, supplemented by downloaded guides and tutorials, to look over it myself, taking some notes as I went, but while the original idea and about a third of the final product was my own efforts, by and far the majority of the work was done by Uzi and done in only a matter of days. I really was impressed with her skill.

And so it was that Lizzy's 8th birthday came upon us. Turns out, the Teacher actually is her dad, and while he is that apathetic to everything all the time (evidently how he copes with being a single dad after his wife died during the initial evacuations when the Murder Drones made planetfall, leaving him the sole caretaker of a Lizzy who'd just been a UNN at the time), he did get Lizzy a new phone for the occasion, and she's been over the moon about it the whole time. So the guy did care, to some degree, at least, but evidently had a really hard time showing it. Anyways, the occasion fell on a school day, which worked for my plans pretty damn well. The morning went about as it normally did, with the exception of Lizzy faffing about on her new phone even more than she usually did.

Also of note was Doll's slow but steady recovery. She wasn't okay by any stretch of the metric, and I'd caught a near-slip the one time she'd mentioned her late parents, referring to them in such a manner as if she was still living with them (or their bodies), Lizzy's own flinch making me think she was well-aware Doll still had the corpses of her folks in her hab unit. But Doll was catatonic less and less now, actually barely participating in a conversation or two. She'd been coming to lunch earlier and earlier, enough that we were starting to actually get to the cafeteria before Lizzy even got up to fetch us. Though… I got the impression that Doll was starting to wait a bit longer than it took to snap back to the present. It was subtle, but I'd notice her optics focus for a good few seconds to a minute before she'd actually get up, and she'd occasionally throw a glance at me, as if to verify I was still waiting for her every time. I think she appreciated the continued gesture from me, but probably wasn't willing to admit it. Fine by me though. Just meant I was less likely to be a murder target.

Lunch finally rolled around, Lizzy deciding not to wait today, and grabbing her bestie to gently drag her along as soon as the bell rang. It took Doll a few seconds to blink herself back to awareness, looking around a bit before realizing Lizzy was already dragging her along. She threw a glance back at me, and I shrugged, before following the gaggle now consisting of seven drones (including myself) that was the current number of our friend-group. We trod along to the cafeteria, Thad going on with Darren about plans he had to clean up a section of some underused lower levels in the Bunker to use as an impromptu running track, which snapped me out of my idle research on programming that virus I'd thought up a while back (as it reminded me to look into some areas on the periphery to set up a secret lair to start stockpiling guns and other Isekai stuff for various projects I had planned). Lizzy was bragging to Doll about all the stuff her new phone could do (42G, people. The current generation of wireless tech was now the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything). Rebecca was talking to Kelsey about… I tuned in, because Kelsey looked a bit uncomfortable.

As we crossed into the cafeteria, making a beeline for our usual table, I heard Rebecca saying, "Anyways, this Emily girl in our class, she kinda looks like you. Similar hair, wears glasses too, even the same optics color. I found out yesterday that the Muder Drone that broke in held a gun to her head, and made her dad kill her mom or she'd blow the kid's CPU out, and then it killed her dad too. Real messed up, you know?"

Jesus fucking Chirst, what the fuck , V? I thought. I know I shouldn't be surprised considering "Please don't feed me my own entrails in front of my family!" but still , what the fuck?!? Kelsey apparently wasn't that much of a fan of the topic either, saying, "Can we change the subject, maybe?"

"Really?" Rebecca asked, looking every bit the grumpy child she currently was. "It's some great gossip! You don't wanna hear about how she's been picking up religion of all things since then?"

"Rebecca," I said, and they both looked up at me. "Chill, you're making her uncomfortable," I chidded.

Rebecca looked over at me, then at Kelsey, and then back to me. "Uuuugh, fine ," she conceded, just as we were sitting down. She sounded actually upset, but I was reasonably certain at this point that she wasn't actually offended, and that her bitchy attitude and exterior were a front she put up to cope with her own trauma, and I wasn't gonna blame her. Besides, she'd been slowly getting better over the past weeks since I showed up. Thad and myself really were surprisingly good influences on the group. I nearly froze halfway through chewing on a sandwich as a realization hit me. I really am the dry sarcastic guy who actually cares about his friends under his exterior, huh? Because, like, I actually was proud I was helping these kids sort themselves out, be a better version of themselves, and was helping them cope with their trauma however I could.

"It's freaking 42G, Doll!" I heard Lizzy still gushing about her new phone, and I looked over to that particular conversation. "42G!!!" she said again, actually bouncing in her seat with glee. It was oddly adorable, in a "I wanna screenshot this so I can look back on it when I'm feeling upset in order to cheer myself up because it's so wholesome" kinda way.

" That's… that's really nice, Lizzy," Doll said, quietly, but a small, earnest smile on her face. " I'm happy for you, " she added. " And again, Happy Birthday! "

"Thanks Dolly!" Lizzy said, positively beaming. Huh, the weird "mature in some ways but not really in others" thing drone kids had going on almost made me forget we were still kids, sometimes.

Still, this was a good enough segue to kick off my own plans. "Hey, Liz," I cut in.

She looked right at me, actually lowering her phone for the first time in four hours, twelve minutes, and 17 seconds (internal clocks rocked). "Did you just nickname me?"

I paused, and realized I did. "Do you not like it?"

She gave me another one of those looks , but then shrugged. "Nah, it's okay. So what is it?"

"So like, I worked with someone else to make it, but I came up with a birthday present for ya," I said, reaching into one of my many coat pockets and pulling out a thumb drive with a wireless data transfer function built into it. "If the coding is done right, this should let you bluetooth your phone directly to your OS, so you can operate it at the speed of thought , rather than having to type or tap the screen," I finished, offering the drive.

Pink optics blinked a couple times. "You… actually got me a thing? Like, I didn't expect you to, because like, orphan, but you still did?"

I shrugged.

Lizzy grinned. "You freaking rock !" She practically squealed with excitement as she took the drive and downloaded the contents. A few seconds later, and her phone's screen began to work without her actually touching it. Her grin grew, screens flying by faster and faster. "This is the best!" she squeaked out. "You're the best!" She snapped a selfie and typed some kinda caption to post with it (a brief overclock to cheat and run the memory back told me it was already bragging about her new phone upgrade for her new phone), and then she actually squeed. Almost… no actually made me feel ever so slightly guilty about the other shoe I was about to drop.

"By the way, Uzi was the one who coded most of it."

The whole table froze. And I was right. Lizzy really did look like she just shat an ingot at that admission. And it was hilarious. And I did , in fact, screenshot it, sending that picture straight to Uzi. I was kinda glad that the reactions at the table drowned out the distant sounds of gremlin giggling I could hear.

"She what ?!?" Lizzy shouted. "D-did you check it for malware? Oh my robo-god--"

" Lizzy ," I cut her off, something in my tone getting not just her own, but the attention of everyone at the table. "Come to think of it, can y'all do me a quick favor?"

"Uh, Joe, now is not the time to change the subje--"

"The software is safe , I looked over it myself. Go look up autism real quick. Really read the list of symptoms," I said, with a firmness in my tone I didn't use often. There was a very serious undercurrent to my voice that I hadn't really used before, and for a moment I was less the kid I was starting to enjoy pretending to be, and more the adult who had the burden of the future unwillingly foisted upon him, and was very much not willing to tolerate an argument right now.

I got a couple looks, but the drones present complied, and after about a minute, Kelsey was the one to ask, "O-Okay, but what does this have to do with anything?"

"If you were present for when Sam blew up on Uzi a while back, go rerun that conversation in your memory banks real quick, and pay attention ," I said, still completely serious.

About another 30 seconds passed, before optics started to hollow.

"Oh," Thad said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Oh my robo-god," Lizzy muttered.

"Ooooooooooooh," Darren said. "That… a lot makes sense now." I'd normally say Thank you Captain Obvious in response to that, but for once I think the table actually needed to hear that.

"Oh my robo-god," Lizzy repeated, putting her phone down. Which, considering that she literally got it less than six hours ago, really said something about her emotional state.

" Uzi ," Doll murmured.

"Is this what guilt feels like?" Rebecca asked. "Because I hate it. Holy shit, I feel like a total bitch , and not in a cool way."

" Oh my robo-god ," Lizzy said a third time, staring at her hands. "Oh… oh, we were literally bullying an autistic kid, weren't we?" she asked aloud.

Kelsey looked down. Like Thad, she wasn't guilty of going after Uzi, but she still wasn't feeling happy at that revelation.

I clapped my hands, and everyone looked at me. "So! I planned this! I've been talking to Uzi on the side for the last couple of days. I figured out what she's going through in the first place. I'm gonna bring her over here now. You're all gonna be nice to her, and apologize to her if that's relevant to you, got it ?" I finished, some hostility leaking into my tone at the end.

I got a chorus of nods and/or weak "Yeahs" in response. "I'm serious," I said. "I've talked to her, maybe a dozen times in the past week," 11 to be exact, "and even if I didn't do anything to her I feel fucking horrific having seen how she's been coping with things. I don't think anyone's going to start shit, because I think I know everyone here well enough at this point, but if they do , I'm going to punch them in the fucking face." I closed my optical display, to avoid looking at anyone as I finished talking. I opened them again, and then locked my optics to a pair of pink ones. "I… I really am sorry to drop this on you on your birthday, Lizzy, but I'd been talking with Uzi and this was the best idea we had to get everything out in the open."

Lizzy looked down, actually really appearing genuinely guilty. Which, you know, made me feel like shit, all things considered, but also made me slightly proud that I'd managed to turn her into someone with a conscience in just about a month and a half… or much more likely, she did have a conscience, but the shit-show of canon where she had no positive influences in her life basically killed it off and left her a psychopath, and I evidently saved it from its premature demise. "No, no…" she sighed, and then repeated, "No, I get it. That's fair. Tell the--" she cut herself off, grimacing. "Tell Uzi that I really appreciate the gift."

"You can tell her yourself," I responded, standing up to go to the next step of my latest scheme and grab the emo in question, not at all missing Lizzy's panicked protests as I moved away, but deliberately choosing to disregard them entirely.

It took me less than 30 seconds to stride across the cafeteria to reach the table on the edge where Uzi was even now sitting alone. She'd by now schooled her own facial expression after getting the screenshot of Lizzy's expression when I'd sent it to her, and managed to only have the smallest of smirks on her face as she looked up at my approach. "Showtime, SMG."

"Call me that again and I'll kick you in the shins," she shot back.

"You would , wouldn't you?" I said with a deadpan.

The emo girl named after a Sub-MachineGun gave me a look (I'd been getting a couple of those, from all sorts of drones, recently), and then replied with a deadpan. "Yes."

"Fair enough, then. Still, momento della verità , Uzi," I said.

She raised a digital eyebrow. "Moment of truth? You're really partial to Italian of all things, aren't you?"

"And you're deflecting again," I countered.

Uzi gave me an unimpressed half-glare, but made to get up, before suddenly stopping, and looking up at me. "You… you promise that you're gonna stick up for me, right?"

My gaze softened. "The day I don't got your back is the day you start dating a Murder Drone," I (half) joked.

"What the-- eeeeeeew !" Uzi said, punching me in the shoulder lightly, even as she stood up. "That's just nasty! "

"Have you seen the photos and clips from the security footage, Uzi? Like, damn the freaking hips on the female models! And honestly, if I wasn't straight, the male genocide bot would also be the mother of all catches," I said, completely shameless.

"Are you sure they put your CPU back together properly?" Uzi asked me, though I didn't miss the faint flickers on her optics as she searched the footage herself.

I shrugged, and we started walking. "Even if they didn't, I think I prefer myself this way, to be honest."

She took a half-step away from me, "You do you," she said, slowing down for a moment, optics widening as she looked at something on her own display, the slightest blush creeping onto the lower parts of her visor before she shook her head and very quietly muttered something that might have been, " Though you might be onto something …" as she sped back up. I pretended not to hear her as I internally pumped a fist at planting a shipping seed in her mind, even as we arrived at our destination.

You know, I might not have fully thought this part through. Thad and Kelsey looked friendly enough, the former even waving, but everyone else? Yeah, they weren't comfortable, and we kinda just stared at each other for a few seconds while we all felt really fucking awkward.

"You totally didn't think this part through, did you?" Darren asked me.

I took in a breath, opened my mouth, and then sighed, slumping my shoulders. "You know, part of me didn't expect to get this far, so no, not really," I admitted, and I got a round of deadpan looks from everyone present.

Lizzy groaned, grimaced, took a look at Uzi (who glanced away from the eye contact), winced, and then stood up. She took an unnecessary breath. "Look, Uzi," she started, and Uzi turned towards her, suddenly apprehensive. "I don't really like you, because I think you're weird," and she held up a hand before anyone could take offense to that, "but that isn't actually your fault , and it was… it was wrong of me to go after you because of that. I'm trying to do this 'Machiavellian' thing Joe told me about, where I still mess with people who mess with me first but I make people genuinely like me otherwise, and people liking me because I'm nice is actually, like, nice, and I'm," Lizzy threw me a glance before continuing, "actually having fun with it, but I'm starting to realize I did a lot of messed up stuff the past two years," she said. "And, uh, I know it doesn't make up for everything, or anything , but I really am sorry, Uzi."

Uzi looked up at Lizzy, mouth hanging open, and Rebecca, Darren, and Doll also looked at Lizzy with a great deal of surprise, before she clenched her fists shut and half-glared. "You're right," she said. "It doesn't. If… you're actually sorry, you're gonna have to make up for it, you jerk," she said, and Lizzy flinched, looking away. "But… but even if I don't forgive you, I'll accept the apology." She glared fully. "But only because I'm way more mature than you are!" She saw my grin out of the corner of her optics and then whirled around to me. "Bite me!" she shouted.

"I'd rather not," I said, half-teasingly, "you'd probably taste like angst."

I got slapped in the face. Everyone went quiet. Even Uzi herself flinched, optics hollowed, realizing that she might have escalated a bit too much.

I started laughing, despite the sting. "I totally deserved that," I said. "Worth it, 100%, but totally deserved."

"You are so weird," Rebecca said.

"And completely unapologetic about it," I said, still grinning. Uzi started to snicker, and then the rest of the table began to join in.

A few seconds passed before people began to calm down, and then Rebecca added, "I'm… I'm sorry too, Uzi."

Uzi glowered at her, before her gaze began to soften. "S-same thing I said to Lizzy!" she barked. But then Doll of all drones shuffled over in her seat to make room for Uzi to sit down next to her. Uzi stared at the spot, and then Doll, looking haunted for a few seconds, before Lizzy cut in.

"Uzi? Uh, this totally isn't me trying to bribe you, it really isn't , it's just me starting to try to make up for the shit I did, but… do you wanna come to my birthday party after school?" she asked.

Uzi snapped her gaze over to Lizzy. "You're inviting me to your birthday party?" she asked in a small voice.

Lizzy looked away, guilty, but nodding.

"Yeah," Uzi said, a hesitant smile on her face. "Yeah, I'll come."

Lizzy looked up, seemingly surprised, and then smiled. "Then sit down with us already, you two! Freaking hang out with us, already!" She suited actions to words, sitting back down herself.

I shrugged, going over to my usual seat, and Uzi hesitated for a moment, before taking the spot next to Doll. They both spent a few seconds pointedly not looking at one another, before Doll finally started to speak.

" Its… its been a while, Uzi. I'm… I'm sorry for not visiting since your mother passed. "

Uzi slumped, closing her optics for a moment before opening them again and turning to the other purple-haired drone. "I'm… sorry you lost both of your parents, Doll."

I perked up, because one, Uzi and Doll lore, and two lore , full stop. I'd always adored the "show, don't tell" style of story-telling in Fromsoft games, spending hours reading item descriptions and even longer looking through Vaati Vidya content to delve deeper into the hidden story. Again, my mind went back to that screenshot saying that Yeva and Nori had been besties, and I realized that there were good odds that I was about to get the explanation for how Uzi and Doll, their kids, had drifted so far apart in comparison to them in the canon timeline. I leaned forwards slightly, paying rapt attention.

"Thanks, and… I'm… I'm sorry I left you alone after that," Doll whispered.

"Why did you?" Uzi suddenly blurted out, turning in her seat and fidgeting as she focused her full attention on Doll. "We, were, like, cousins! And then mom died, and you just… you never even visited me once after the funeral! Three… three years , Doll! And then you started hanging out with Lizzy, and did nothing when they were bullying me, and… and…" Uzi began to sniffle.

" Uzi! " Doll shouted, putting a hand on the other to-be Solver's shoulder, Uzi flinching but looking up despite the digital tears in her optics. " Mama… Mama didn't want me to see you after Aunt Nori died. She was… she was haunted by it. Scared of something. Said that it could have manifested in you, even though I still don't know what she was referring to, because she'd never tell me. But she wanted me far away from you from that day onwards. She looked so guilty over it, especially when I threw tantrums about not being able to see you, but whatever she was afraid of scared her more than she felt guilty over cutting my cousin in all but code out of our lives. And for a while I thought that… that whatever she thought was wrong with you was why you had so much trouble with other drones, and, and I started to think what Mama told me was right, and that she saved me from whatever it was . But… but seeing what happened… and Mama and Papa are, are… d…" Doll let out a shuddering breath, " gone anyways…" she whimpered. " I don't care what they were afraid of! " Doll said. "I want my cousin back!" she finished with a whine.

Uzi had been staring in silence the whole time, optics hollowing as Doll went on, and then starting to brim anew with digital tears towards the end. "Doll… you… that's," she seemed to be struggling to figure out a reply to that, and I stared, transfixed.

Doll suddenly lunged forwards, grabbing onto Uzi, hugging her, openly crying. " I'm sorry, Uzi! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

And all at once, it seemed to sink in for Uzi that this was genuine , and she started bawling herself as she wrapped her arms around Doll and was hugging her cousin back. The whole table just stared in silence at the two girls embracing while they sobbed their cores out.

Myself? My ass was currently floored, not just by this being the most I've seen Doll speak in a single sitting thus far, but also by the logical expansion of the Yeva and Nori lore, as well as the explanation for why Doll and Uzi weren't friends in canon. Like, mind blown . Dude, the lore heads back home would loose their fucking shit over this. Like, baby Uzi and Doll did know each other, their mothers probably had them visit one another often, but then Nori died when Uzi was 4, and Yeva evidently thought that shit would have potentially awoken Uzi's Solver (which was even more tragic when I knew that it didn't ), and kept her own kid away from Uzi to try and protect Doll. Then Yeva and Mikhail both got axed by V, Doll saw that, and in the mother of all horrific ironies, that awoke her Solver instead. I'd yet to see any signs of it myself, though there was nearly 9 years for it to come up. But Lizzy started hanging with Doll, becoming a bad influence on her, and the canon timeline rolled about. And it really started to sink in on me that I may have just fully managed to head that shit off, right here and now. And fuck, man, that felt good . Like, really, genuinely nice. Fuck you, Solver, you ain't psy-opping shit on my watch!

It took a minute and 43 seconds for them to calm down, but as soon as they did-- "Wait, you two were like, actually cousins?" Lizzy and Rebecca asked in tandem.

" Not… not in code, " Doll said, " But in every other respect? Before Aunt Nori died, Mama and her were basically sisters. "

"I feel like there's some kinda tragic backstory leading into a worldview shattering conspiracy involving nightmares beyond mortal comprehension, there," I commented. You know, just a joke, really, but also technically the truth, being said not just to plant the seed in everyone's minds, but also for the inevitable moment where everyone looks back on this and realizes I was dropping hints even then.

Uzi looked directly at me. "Dude, that's crazy, Joe." Fucking shit , man, the struggle not to laugh at that irony was real.

"You didn't catch the whole, 'Doll's mom being afraid of something manifesting in you' thing?" I asked. "That doesn't seem like a whole, I dunno, big conspiracy thing, or something? Especially considering how close you all apparently were, and how guilty Doll's mom apparently felt but still did it anyways?"

Doll blinked a couple times, actually looking contemplative, and Uzi said. "Okay, yeah, that kinda is a red flag. But, what are we supposed to do about any of that? We're like, seven right now!" I blinked at that, slightly confused that Uzi was being the voice of reason here.

"I'm eight," Lizzy protested.

"Nothing much," I agreed, ignoring Lizzy's glare at being ignored herself, and deciding that I'd definitely pushed that particular angle enough for now, "Just something to keep in mind, and let me reserve the right to say 'I told you so,' later."

"You really are the dry sarcastic guy who actually cares about his friends under his asinine exterior," Rebecca remarked.

"Thanks!" I said. "I really try!"

"That wasn't a compliment , you dingus!" she spat out.

"I know, but what kinda dry sarcastic guy would I be if I didn't interpret it as such?" I countered.

Darren started laughing, and Rebecca shot him a betrayed glance, before going and burying her head in her arms as she thumped down her upper body onto the table.

"Is this like, normal interactions for you guys?" Uzi asked.

"From what I've seen so far, yeah," Thad said.

"Pretty much," Kelsey added.

"Sometimes, he's worse," Lizzy threw her own two volts in.

" Et tu, Brutus? " I stage-whispered.

I got a bunch of blank looks. "Huh?" Kelsey went.

I slumped. "Really? Am I the only person who actually looked up ancient earth history?" I shook my head. "You know what, whatever. Not my problem if you don't get my sick historical references."

Uzi started laughing, and the rest of the table began to join in. Despite my annoyance, internally, I was very smug indeed. I was already positive that even if I dropped dead right this instant-- not that I wanted to, fuck off Murphy! --that things would already be better than canon, and that felt like a damn satisfying victory, indeed.

Though, seeing Uzi and Doll starting to talk to each other, getting to actually be family again… For the first time in a while , I thought about my own family, back from my first life. My mom, my dad, my brother. My grandparents. My cousin. My uncles and aunt. Was I dead back home? Did I just disappear? I'd been busy with trying to help a bunch of traumatized kids, and making plans for the literal End Times but… I really was probably never going to see anyone from home ever again. And… as much as I was having fun here, that reality was kinda sinking in now, and… well, that fucking sucked .

"You okay, Joe?" I had almost expected the question to have come from Thad, so it took me two thirds of a second to realize it was Lizzy who'd asked me that instead.

I looked up at concerned pink optics, and gave a hesitant smile. "Yeah, just… thinking about… family stuff I can't remember," I lied, throwing my current train of thought to my emotional repression programs, fully aware that doing so wasn't healthy in the slightest , but I didn't exactly have the time to deal with those kinda thoughts right now. I had a lunch period to finish, a school day to zone out through while plotting for the future, and a birthday party to attend. I gave a smile to Lizzy, though. "But thanks for asking."

She smiled back. "No problem, Joe."

Once again, not healthy, but I shoved my problems to the back of my mind. I had bigger issues to deal with in the not-so-distant future, and right now? Fuck my own angst, I was gonna enjoy being a kid again, and getting to know these people, while I still fucking could.

________________________________________

In hindsight, I should not have gotten my hopes up for the birthday party of an 8 year old girl, robot-gal with a concerning sadistic streak or otherwise. There were, maybe, 20-something kids total (I could perfectly catalogue the exact number in a matter of seconds if I was so inclined, but choosing not to in this case felt right , like I was still retaining at least some of my humanity, and I felt that little choices like this would probably help me in the long run), quite a few of which Lizzy knew and talked to regularly, but weren't properly in our own inner social circle, and of course, all of us, Uzi included. The activities to do ranged from such exciting things as talking, texting, gossip (which was different to talking, as I'd learned in extreme detail from Lizzy the one time I'd made the mistake of voicing my thoughts that they were the same), browsing social media, looking at memes, and discussing fashion.

The decor was basically an extension of Lizzy's own room, which was pink. Violently pink. Genuinely, the best way to describe the room's coloration was that the color pink itself had been kidnapped, brought to this room, tortured, murdered, mutilated, and then had its entrails and vitae spilled everywhere . It was just that fucking pink . Even the fucking lightbulbs in her room were pink. Though I will say this in Lizzy's favor: despite it also being pink, the giant stuffed animal she had on her bed wasn't a dog, cat, teddy bear, dolphin, seal, or panda. It was a fox . And foxes were cool , which meant Lizzy in turn had a good taste in animals.

The, uh, the cake was… something. The frosting was literally battery acid (also pink), and it took me an actual, conscious effort to deliberately not make a chemical analysis of the polymers the cake itself was made of, but it tasted like cherry. Honestly, I was kinda impressed with how drones had made industrial materials into parodies of biological food that actually looked semi-appetizing, even if I knew this shit would 100% kill my ass if I was still a meatbag. Granted, I would have died from the lack of atmospheric oxygen, the death crystals in the air (not just the asbestos that literally snowed it was so prolific, but also microscopic silicates in the air launched into the atmosphere during the core collapse. Fuck me, Copper 9 was not a friendly place for carbon-based lifeforms), or the sub-zero temperatures long before food was an issue, but still, impressive.

Here was when I yet again was hit with another attack of the background characters. Which should have been expected in general, at this point, but I was honestly disappointed in myself for not seeing Emily in particular coming after Rebecca blatantly foreshadowed her by gossiping about her earlier today. Emily herself was one of several drones Lizzy literally dragged me around to show off as the inspiration for her recent meteoric rise in popularity and general likability introduce to. Unlike canon, this Emily was wearing a catholic rosary around her neck, though like her canon counterpart, she had neon blue (it really was a popular shade with the kids this generation… or Glitch was just lazy with the details on background characters who were mostly fated to die anyways. Maybe both.) optics, black hair in two pigtails, half-oval shaped glasses (for her, it was purely a cosmetic choice), a navy t-shirt with lighter purple trim on the sleeves and bottom, and even the logo of a snowy mountain range in the middle of it, and black boots. Come to think of it, the shirt was moderately oversized on her right now, and she was shorter than average in canon (and even now), so this very well could be the same shirt that she's currently fated to die in. Something that I also genuinely wanted to avert. She seemed like an actually good kid who didn't deserve what she got at all .

"So, like, this is Emily, Joe. And Emily, this is Joseph," Lizzy said with the grace of a sledgehammer as I was basically deposited in front of the skittish girl, who herself looked slightly out of things, and I couldn't blame her given what I'd heard earlier. She'd literally watched her dad off her mom in an effort to save her , and then watched him get murdered, too, held hostage by V the entire time.

"H-h-h-hi, Joseph," Emily got out. Jesus Christ, it was almost like talking to a traumatized robot-child version of Fluttershy.

"Hello yourself," I replied in a calm, friendly tone. I cocked a digital eyebrow. "Catholic rosary?"

He blinked herself, looking down at it, reaching up, and idly rubbing a thumb on the cross. "Y-yeah," she said, and then looked me in the optics. "How'd you know?"

I shrugged. "Evidently, my efforts to mitigate the amnesia involved a lot more general research than was expected of me," I said. "My condolences for your parents," I offered.

She looked down, crestfallen, but managed a slight smile. "T-thanks."

I gestured at her rosary. "Is it okay if I ask why faith, in particular?"

Emily looked back up, genuine surprise on her features, and managed a more genuine smile this time. From my periphery, I could tell Lizzy was already bored by the topic, but whereas her canon counterpart would have probably cut the conversation off by now and dragged me elsewhere, here and now, she just rolled her optics and went to her phone. Still a bit rude, but definitely an improvement. "Its… Its comforting, to think that there's someone out there that's inherently good , that always cares , that, t-t-that mom and dad are in a better place now," she said in a low voice, looking down and holding onto her rosary. She looked up at me suddenly. "I-I-I," she shook her head, fighting her stutter. "I don't blame that thing for what she did," it took me about a full second to realize she was talking about V. "I think- I think she was possessed, or maybe enthralled by a demon, and that she wasn't totally in control of her actions."

I blinked, and then overclocked myself to reign in my facial expression while thanking past me for finishing that poker-face GIF for my optics the other day. That… I really struggled not to outwardly react at how uncomfortably close to the truth that was. I mean, V really did choose to be that much of a sadistic bitch, but at the same time, there really was a demon holding her metaphorical leash, and without the Solver, she'd have never been like she was now, both literally and in terms of personality. "You… you think they're actual drones, but possessed by demons?" I asked, barely recalling in time that everyone wasn't aware that the Murder Drones even talked , nevermind were sapient.

"T-t-that-that's not weird , is it?" she asked, flinching. "I d-d-don't get to talk about m-m-my faith at all really," she said, twisting a foot on the ground. "People get uncomfortable and think it's weird," she whispered.

"I mean," I said, taking precious fractions of superfast processing to collect my thoughts, "It's a hypothesis , that's for sure," I said diplomatically. "I'm not gonna begrudge you for it, either. Heck," I said, avoiding the use of the word hell in front of the Catholic only because I was overclocked, "sometimes reality actually is stranger than fiction. Maybe the demons outside Khan's doors are more real than we think. So, I'll admit that was unexpected, but not weird , I think."

Emily actually looked really happy that she wasn't dismissed outright. "Thanks," she said, a genuine smile on her face.

Lizzy finally cut in, but to her credit, she did have an alibi. "Hey, I just got a text from Doll, apparently she wants you to come over." She looked at my raised eyebrow emote, and then narrowed her optics. "What? I'm serious!"

I shrugged. "Nice meeting you, Emily," I said, giving a wave as I wandered off to check the limited amount of in this hab that Doll could be in. I gave a nod as I heard a quiet "You too!" from behind me.

After exhausting the list but not finding her, I came up to Lizzy's dad's room ( really needed to learn his name), which was apparently off limits while the guy was out playing cards with the WDF, and gave a knock. "Doll? You in there?"

" Joseph ?" I heard from inside.

"Yep," I replied.

I heard some shuffling, and then the door opened, Doll literally yanked me in, and shut it behind her. I stumbled on my footing but managed to not fall, turning around towards Doll, only for her to cut me off before I could speak. " I was keeping Uzi company the whole time, " she started, "She was having a lot of fun, but she suddenly started to cry and froze up, so I dragged her in here and then asked Lizzy to get you. Do you know what's wrong? I… I thought I was doing well… " she trailed off, not just concerned, but looking nearly ready to cry herself.

I turned around again, seeing Uzi sitting at the foot of the bed in the room, leaned up against it, sniffling, legs curled up to herself and arms wrapped around them, but a small smile on her face. I blinked, and then walked over and sat next to her.

"Overwhelmed again?" I whispered. Uzi glanced over to me, and gave a quick nod. "Really happy, because it suddenly clicked in your processors that this is real in a 'can't believe this is actually happening and you suddenly have your cousin back in your life and you also have friends now' kinda way?" She nodded again.

I glanced over to Doll. "You didn't do anything wrong. They're tears of joy, because she's that damn happy right now. The 'tism got the better of her, is all."

" Oh, " Doll said, blinking a few times before shuffling closer. " I thought I messed something up and made Uzi cry. "

"No!" Uzi shot out. "You… you…" she seemed to struggle to say what she wanted to, grunted, and then suddenly shot up and wrapped Doll in a hug. "Not your fault," she mumbled. Doll froze, and then her expression softened as she hugged her cousin back. "Isn't your fault, Doll," she repeated.

I smiled at the scene, and then shamelessly took a screenshot of the moment to add to my "Wholesome Murder Drones Isekai Adventure Moments" album. "Feeling any clearer?" I asked.

They both looked over at me, evidently forgetting I was there. Uzi suddenly backed off from Doll, and glared at me, indignant. "You tell anyone I was mushy or stuff, and, I'll… uh…" she trailed off, and I didn't quite keep my snicker down, causing her to glare even more, "I'll build something to hack your sentience and then make you embarrass yourself!"

I froze instantly. "Duly noted," I said, deadly serious. "My synthetic lips are sealed," miming a zipper gesture over my mouth. Yeah, I was not willing to risk that shit here and now.

Uzi gave me a look , as if wondering why that threat specifically worked, and I could already see the metaphorical gears in her head turning. A quick overclock on myself (man, I really was abusing the shit out of that) to formulate a gameplan, and I came up with an excuse to avoid her trying it just to see why I was afraid of it.

"Kinda already suffered one identity death already, would really rather not have someone mess with my sentience and risk a second . I kinda like being me , you know?" I said, with a grin that was exactly as terrified as I felt at the mere thought of it.

Uzi's own optics hollowed as she realized her blunder, but in typical Uzi fashion, rather than apologize for that or anything, she instead went with "Well, then, just don't tell anyone and I won't have to!"

" Si, signora! " I said, snapping to attention and giving a mocking salute to hide how I was still very fucking apprehensive.

"You're right, Uzi," Doll commented. " He does slip into Italian of all things, every now and then. "

"What?" I complained. "It's unique here! Makes me sound cool!" I said.

"Oh," Uzi remarked. "If that's why, I can totally understand the hustle."

Doll giggled. " It is kinda cool. "

"Yes!" I whispered, pumping a fist, and pointedly ignoring the laughter I could hear from the other two drones. Then I cleared my throat. "Anyways, you two ready to go back to the party? I'm pretty sure Lizzy will throw a hissy fit if you monopolize any more of the time of the 'Machiavellian Mastermind' that she wants to show off on her birthday."

" She probably would ," Doll remarked, and Uzi just started laughing harder.

I rolled my optics. Fuck man, I've said it before, but I'll say it again; even with all the trauma, it was nice to be a kid again, and only have to worry about relatively meaningless shit like this. Two minutes later, we were slipping back out of the room, a minute after that I was once again being tugged along by the birthday girl, and then I let myself forget about the future for at least the next couple hours.

________________________________________

Most of the rest of the kids were gone a few hours later, and it was just the core of the group (and Uzi, who'd probably be fully integrated within a week. Damn if part of me didn't feel proud of that) who was helping Lizzy clean up the hab unit in the aftermath. Another one of those weird "drone kids being more mature than their human equivalents but only in some ways" things, though I myself was used to cleaning on a weekly basis by this point.

"So!" I remarked, grabbing attention as I tied off the last garbage bag. "Took a bit to code the encryptions for it, but I finally got it done last night, and this time, it's a present wholly from myself."

"You got me another present?" Lizzy asked.

"More of one for everyone, but technically, yeah," I said, and then I sent some invites to the other's OS'.

"...You made us a chat group?" Kelsey asked.

"An encrypted chat group!" I countered.

"Kinda good," Uzi commented, "But I could hack this in like an hour, tops."

I gave her a deadpan. "I wanted to make it myself, damnit!"

"Nah, I can respect that," Thad said.

"And, uh, now that you finished it, can't Uzi just add her own encryption?" Darren asked.

"I could ," Uzi trailed off, smug.

"Then why don't you?" Rebecca snarked.

"Maybe I will!" Uzi shot at her.

"Then actually do it ," she countered.

Uzi glared at her, and Rebecca just smirked back.

"Did you really give it that name?" Lizzy asked me, and everyone stopped and looked at the name in question. Three seconds of silence followed, and then Thad of all drones started howling with laughter, so bad that he actually stumbled back and flopped onto the couch (thankfully not pink, because this was in the living room).

"The…" Kelsey trailed off, "Did you actually name the chat The Neglected Children of Outpost 3 (and Thad) ?"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Thad continued to lose his shit. "Oh man!" he wheezed out. "I… hahahaha!" he wheezed again. "I should not be laughing at this!" he added, totally ignoring his own advice as he continued to laugh.

"What?" I said, "Most of us are either missing one or both parents, and unlike Darren's folks Thad's pay consistent attention to him. It'd be disingenuous to lump him in with the rest of us!" I said, giving my surface reasoning. Beneath the surface it was also an inside, Isekai joke, as a homage to the fanfic whose premise I was trying to recreate in order to literally save the galaxy. My dry humor had layers , people!

"I hate that you're technically right," Lizzy remarked.

"The best kind of right!" I remarked.

"So, I guess we need to come up with usernames?" Uzi asked.

"You don't already have one?" Kelsey asked.

"Didn't exactly have friends before today," the emo fired back, but then added a "Sorry," when Kelsey flinched.

I rolled my eyes, and opened up the culmination of a week of coding.

The Neglected Children of Outpost 3 (and Thad)

Chat Start

Isekai_Protagonist: Welcome, one and all!

Babeatron-Queenthousand: The fuck is that username?

Isekai_Protagonist: Well, I mean, I suffered an identity death and then woke up as a child robot in what can literally be considered a post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting. I thought it would be a funny inside joke.

Darkxwolf16: OMG, that does sound like you're an Isekai Protagonist!

In the real world, I struggled not to laugh. Holy shit , this would be funny to look back on later.

Isekai_Protagonist: >Darkxwolf16 So I take it the first 15 Darkxwolf's were already taken?

Darkxwolf16: Bite me! I had to come up with something cool fast!

Isekai_Protagonist: You know that we can't change these, right?

Darkxwolf16: Shit.

A year before canon, and also she apparently beat the original Darkxwolf16 to the punch, but still, Uzi was Uzi. Fuck me, this would also be a really funny thing to bring up years from now. Hell, it would also be hilarious out there in the multiverse, on the other side of the 4th wall.

Babeatron-Queenthousand: Lol.

Кукла: What's an Isekai Protagonist?

Darkxwolf16: Doll.

Darkxwolf16: You HEATHEN.

Darkxwolf16: I am showing you ALL the anime later.

Кукла: Why does that feel like a threat?

Thad_the_Chad: Nah, Doll, Anime is cool.

Darkxwolf16: See! Thad thinks it's cool!

KayKay: Hi everyone!

Isekai_Protagonist: I don't wanna ask, Kelsey, but… I'm assuming that you made that username BEFORE I was me?

KayKay: Yeah. I'll… I'll deal with it. Not your fault.

DarrenToDream: Wassup!

Isekai_Protagonist: The ceiling?

TotesBestGirl: Really, Joe?

Isekai_Protagonist: What, that answer is PERFECTLY in line with my dry humor.

TotesBestGirl: That is SO cringe.

Isekai_Protagonist: But I embrace being cringe, Rebecca, and that makes me BASED.

Darkxwolf16: You tell her!

Thad_the_Chad: I can respect the commitment, if nothing else.

Babeatron-Queenthousand: Still cringe tho.

Isekai_Protagonist: You're just jealous of my brilliance!

KayKay: Lol, this is funny.

DarrenToDream: It really is.

"All right," Lizzy said in the real world, "This is great, seriously. But we need to go hit sleep mode so we aren't all wiped tomorrow."

"Since when were you the responsible one?" I asked.

"Since you got me into Renaissance stuff!" Lizzy snapped at me, and then froze.

"Oh, that's cool," I said. "So, are you actually doing research, or…?" I trailed off

"Shut up!" she said, to which Uzi replied by immediately bursting into laughter, shortly followed by Doll, myself, then Rebecca, and then everyone else.

"H-Hey," Uzi spoke up as she started to calm down. "Today was…" she took a breath, looking around at everyone present. "Thanks… for, like…" there were a couple digital tears that she was fighting back "everything," she said, a small smile on her face.

My thoughts flashed back.

"Thanks, for like… everything…"

"Uzi DON'T YOU DARE--"

Thank fuck I was quick on applying the poker face GIF and keeping the current expression of my mouth, because that memory of episode seven would have left me a hollow-optic'd mess . Fuck me, Uzi also said that line in an eerily similar tone to canon as well. Still took me a couple seconds where the others were replying to her to collect myself and calm down. I… I was not gonna let shit get that bad if I could fucking help it. I glanced over at Doll, remembering her corpse in that same room, core slurped right out of her torn open chest cavity. Definitely not gonna let it get that bad.

Thad finished replying to Uzi, and then I spoke up, keeping my inner issues out of my tone. "No problem, Uzi. Glad to have you with us."

The rest of the goodbyes for the night almost passed in a blur. Getting to know these people, like, actually know them, in person, and then be so sharply reminded of what's in store, what's at stake, what I need to prevent, who I need to save… Solver damnit, I was rattled something fierce.

Sleep mode was the last thing on my mind when I stumbled home, and it took me well over an hour of sitting on my bed for an idea of something to distract me from my thoughts came to mind.

________________________________________

The relative quiet of my hab unit, a good 20 minutes after midnight, was interrupted by a hiss of pain, as I sliced my hand open and started to bleed into a thermos. Before anyone asked, no this was not self-harm. My depression had never quite gone there, thank you very much, and neither was it a means to cope with the stress I was currently dealing with… I suppose technically it was self harm in the sense that I was harming myself, but I had a legit reason to do it, so it didn't count!

That reason being that I'm siphoning my own oil for an emergency supply for a potential feral Solver rampage. Turns out that what we bleed isn't actually oil as in melted fossilized prehistoric biological life forms, but rather that O.I.L. is actually an acronym that stands for Omni-purposed Industrial Liquid. Which made sense, because oil as a coolant should have been really stupid, but an advanced sci-fi bullshit liquid that somehow functions as a lubricant, coolant, or whatever else you need it to be… that explained so much . Shit was basically like omni-gel from Mass Effect. You needed something to function as literally any industrial liquid? This had you covered. Still, the stuff was black, viscous… and surprisingly not flammable, though, that kinda made sense when I thought about it (and also ruined my dreams at using my own blood in Molotov Cocktails). Still, it looked like the oil I was familiar with, and when you observed it visually rather than chemically, scientifically, or industrially, it was indistinguishable from actual oil, so I was never gonna refer to it as anything but oil ever again. It was funnier that way.

Anywho, I was literally in the middle of siphoning my own vitae, and only a relatively small amount of the stuff as well. It's only gonna be about a pint at a time, and I'm only gonna be able to do it every couple weeks while I have to wait for my regular food consumption to "naturally" replenish my oil levels (yes we had synthetic "organs" that could synthesize the stuff, which were also presumably not fast enough to keep up with the heat generated by Solver usage, as well as being the case if not outright left out entirely in Disassembly Drones, because the Solver was an asshole like that), but I got the time, and if oil is Worker Drone Blood that doesn't actually go bad, I may as well start stockpiling now. And while I'm at it, I should also start coming up with a forceful delivery system for the oil if Uzi or Doll are too feral to be able to drink it normally. Maybe a titanium, diamond-tipped syringe modelled like a stimpack from Fallout? I'd need to figure out how to actually produce them if so, but it's an idea, and that's better than no idea.

Was I basically setting up a one man robo-blood bank for robot vampires? Yes, yes I was. Did that sound like a stupidly simple solution for the whole dilemma of "Solver-infected drones need to consume oil to not die?" Also yes, though when I thought about the fact that human blood also somehow works as a coolant for the Solver, I had a feeling it was less oil being a poorly explained sci-fi shiny that did all the things like eezo or the aforementioned omni-gel from Mass Effect, and more of it being a case of it basically being our blood and therefore qualifying as sustenance for the use of Eldritch Bullshit. Then again, if my solution to that problem was stupid, but it worked, could you really call it stupid? And my answer to that was a resounding fuck no . Because if it's stupid, but it works , it's not stupid! A maxim I practically lived by in my first life, and not one I was gonna drop in my second, let me tell you!

By this point, I'd filled the thermos with a pint of my robo-blood, and sprayed a small patch of industrial sealant to close the wound. My systems would detect the damage and slowly circulate the right materials to the area along with certain chemicals to bind the metal, plastic, and polymers to where they were supposed to go to properly fix it, in some manner that was a creepy parody of biological healing that apparently used nanites, though not nearly in the quality or quantity that I knew Disassembly Drones had access to. I tried not to think about how that worked while also avoiding a potential grey-goo scenario, and more focused on what I'd need to do to make sure it worked whenever I needed to heal from something. Ironically, the act of synthetic bloodletting had quelled my thoughts to their usual levels of paranoia, and I felt a lot calmer after the fact.

I took a breath, leaving the thermos in my fridge for now. While I definitely wasn't gonna let my hab get as bad as Doll's would, I was gonna have to get a safer, more clandestine place to store this sooner or later, especially as I kept adding to the stockpile. Still, it was a start, and actual, tangible progress on something to deal with The Plot seemed to really help ground me. I took a breath, and resolved to do a bit more planning in the future. The issues of the current generation were well on the way to being mended. I'd have to spend time strengthening bonds, not just between my friends, but also between them and myself.

I was under no illusions I could keep myself under wraps forever. Uzi alone was genre-savvy enough that even if I deliberately tried to hide everything I could, she'd catch on sooner or later. Doll was also fairly smart, and Uzi herself said she'd be showing Doll ALL the anime earlier. I'd need to work to build enough trust that when I had to flip all the cards face-up, they'd believe that I really, genuinely did want to help them, and that would take more effort than just what I've done so far. I'd also need to either get them to a point where I was confident I could tell them myself, or deliberately engineer the scenario where they discern the truth. Because them finding out on their own when I wasn't ready would be a recipe for disaster. I knew my fucking tropes, man. This shit wasn't something I could afford to mess up. The future was coming, and I was gonna be ready for it.

Sleep mode came easily after that.