The Traveling Merchant Who Sold Cursed Tea and Called Me Boss

It began, as most troubling things in Rei's life did, with someone ringing the shop bell far too confidently.

Rei looked up from his account ledger—specifically the "Mysterious Expenses" column, which now included line items like:

One spirit-scented plushie for diplomatic reasons

Bribe for phoenix to stay out of laundry room

"Emotional damage surcharge" for mimic vault incident

The man who entered wore a wide-brimmed hat, several scarves, and a grin that looked like it had survived multiple polite beatings.

"Greetings!" he declared, arms wide. "Is this the legendary Fluff Co., famed across the four provinces as the home of divine snacks and suspiciously competent beasts?"

Rei squinted. "No refunds. No divine snacks. No hiring."

"Fantastic! I'm not here for any of those."

Rei blinked. "Then why are you here?"

"To speak with the founder," he said, bowing low. "Boss Fluff."

Fluff—who had been meditating in the sunbeam near the windowsill—opened one eye.

The merchant immediately knelt. "It is an honor. I come bearing tribute."

---

From his cloak, the merchant pulled a wrapped bundle and placed it reverently on the counter. "This, good sirs, is Nightfall Mist, a tea so rare it's banned in two regions for causing lucid dreams, prophetic visions, or—in one case—a perfectly choreographed musical number."

Rei raised an eyebrow.

"I'm here," the merchant continued, "to ask for an exclusive distribution partnership."

"You want to sell cursed tea. Through my shop."

"Correction: rare, misunderstood tea. And only under the brand: Fluff Co. Midnight Edition™."

Fluff sneezed.

A spark flickered. A shelf rearranged itself slightly.

The merchant pointed. "See? Even the spirits approve!"

---

Later that evening, Rei and Ellyn stood behind the shop counter while the merchant—whose name turned out to be Noll—prepared a sample of Nightfall Mist.

"So what's in it?" Ellyn asked.

"Spiritleaf, duskroot, a trace of moonvine blossom, and... possibly minor temporal dusting."

"Time magic?" Rei said flatly.

"Barely enough to notice! It just makes dreams more immersive."

"I already live in a waking nightmare."

"Then you'll barely feel the difference!"

Rei sighed. "Fine. One cup. Small. No weird side effects."

Fluff perched on the tea tray like a fluffy sentry.

--

The first sip was… surprisingly pleasant.

Smooth. Floral. A touch of starlight bitterness. Rei closed his eyes.

For just a second, he felt like he was walking through a calm moonlit orchard, barefoot on grass, the air filled with gentle whispers of songbirds made of fog.

Then—

CRASH!

He opened his eyes to see a kettle floating upside down and Kreg shouting, "THE SOUP IS REBELLING!"

A spirit ladle smacked him in the head.

Ellyn ducked behind a chair as the tea cabinet spun in place and began listing philosophical questions aloud.

Rei set down his cup.

"Noll."

"Yes?"

"Is this tea... haunted?"

"Only slightly."

---

Once the ladle was pacified (thanks to Fluff offering it a snack), and the cabinet was sealed with duct tape and two incense sticks, the shop finally calmed down.

Noll was dusting himself off. "See? Effective!"

"That's not the word I would use."

"I promise, this only happens the first time."

"Why is that worse?"

"Because repeat customers report improved dream lucidity, fewer regrets, and occasional glimpses into other people's pets' past lives."

Rei stared. "You're banned from selling within 50 feet of this building."

Noll looked crestfallen. "Can I at least intern under Boss Fluff?"

Fluff blinked. Then turned his back and flicked his tail dismissively.

"…He said no."

---

Later That Night

Despite everything, Rei found himself sitting on the rooftop with a second, very diluted cup of Nightfall Mist tea.

He sipped it slowly, watching the stars flicker through the haze of the lanterns below.

Fluff curled up beside him.

The dream that followed was strange—but quiet.

A stone path. A meadow full of beasts, each one looking up as Rei passed. None bowed. None attacked. They just watched.

And in the distance, a soft voice whispered:

> "Peace... or responsibility?"

Rei didn't answer.

He just kept walking.

---

The Next Morning

Ellyn held up a new flyer. "The Merchant Guild heard about the tea incident and sent a note."

Rei groaned. "Are they charging us for 'dimensional spillover' again?"

"Nope. They want to stock your tea."

"…Of course they do."

"And Noll left behind three barrels of the stuff labeled 'emotional detox batch.'"

Rei opened one.

Inside was a note:

> "Boss Fluff is the future. Long live the Bunny Empire."Noll

Fluff sat in the middle of the barrel, sipping tea with serene dignity.

Rei sighed.

"I didn't want this."

Fluff licked his paw.

"…Fine. But next time someone shows up with 'dream pollen' I'm burning it on sight."