I Didn’t Agree to a Beast Treaty, But Apparently I Hosted It

Rei was trying to scrub moss from a garden stone when the hawk dropped the treaty on his head.

Literally.

One second: peace.

The next: a scroll sealed in wax and feathers bouncing off his scalp like divine paperwork.

He looked up.

The hawk bowed once. Then flew off.

The scroll fluttered open on its own.

Rei read the words slowly, then reread them upside down, hoping they'd make less sense that way.

> "In accordance with the Compact of Fluff, under open sky and neutral hearth, the following beasts pledge peaceful passage, shared resources, and rotational custody of the snack crate…"

It continued for another three feet.

At the bottom, were:

A pawprint

A talon mark

A squiggly claw signature labeled "Ambassador Crinkle (Representative of the Western Marsh Otters)"

Rei dropped his head into his hands.

"I didn't agree to this."

Fluff—resting nearby in the shade—tilted his head, then thumped his tail once.

Rei turned slowly. "You knew."

Fluff sneezed.

---

Back in the shop, Rei laid the scroll across the counter.

Ellyn walked in with her ledger and stopped mid-step.

"What is that?"

"A very polite declaration of political neutrality," Rei muttered.

"...Did we sign it?"

"Apparently we hosted it."

Kreg leaned over. "Does this mean we have to provide snacks for spirit bears?"

"It says they bring their own," Rei said.

Ellyn opened her ledger. "Alright. Then I'll add 'non-aggression scones' to the next shipment."

---

Over the next two days, the oddities escalated.

A serpent spirit coiled around the bookshelf, reading silently.

A wind badger slept in the tea drawer.

An antlered cat-beast brought Rei a broken fang and left it on the counter like tribute.

Every time he asked them to leave, they responded with a respectful bow... and stayed anyway.

"They're not aggressive," Ellyn admitted.

"They're too polite," Rei growled. "Like they're guests."

Fluff now held daily "peace meetings" from a throne of cushions in the sunbeam.

Rei had a headache.

Rei eventually gave in and made a pot of calming lavender tea. He brought it to the side room—now unofficially renamed The Treaty Lounge—where seven beasts sat in a semicircle.

There was whispergrass strewn underfoot and a faint scent of cinnamon.

Fluff sat at the center.

"Just to be clear," Rei said to the room, "this is still a tea shop. Not a political embassy."

A long-necked mongoose clacked its claws and passed him a tiny document. It was written in bark.

Rei poured himself a cup. "Fine. But I'm charging rent."

As Rei sorted tea tins later that day, the bell above the shop door rang.

A tall woman in an adventurer's coat stepped inside—scar over one cheek, two short swords at her hips, and the stance of someone who'd fought monsters for breakfast.

She stared at him for a long moment.

Rei froze.

"…Nessa?"

She blinked. "I thought you were dead."

He sighed. "Most people do."

She marched forward and grabbed his sleeve. "They said you vanished. You were off the map for five years."

"I was gardening."

"That's not a valid excuse!"

"I didn't want to be valid anymore."

They sat down over steaming mugs of duskroot tea.

"I followed your trail to three countries," Nessa said. "I heard you took out a bandit king by accident?"

"Slipped on wet moss."

"And a mimic vault?"

"Mostly tripped through that."

"And now you're hosting a pan-beast alliance?"

"I didn't host it. Fluff did."

They both turned to Fluff, who rolled on his back with serene pride.

Nessa sipped her tea slowly.

"You're exactly the same," she said. "Somehow more powerful. Somehow less interested."

"I didn't want to be part of anything."

"Then why are they all gathering here?"

Rei didn't answer.

That night, Rei sat beneath the paper lanterns on the porch, watching as a glowing spirit elk walked down the road and paused before the gate.

It looked at him.

Nodded once.

Then continued on.

Fluff hopped up beside him.

"…They're not here because of me, are they?" Rei murmured. "They're here because of what you represent."

Fluff blinked.

"And because this place... is safe."

Fluff licked his paw.

Rei sighed. "Fine. But we're not expanding."

Auron poked his head out from the window. "Master! The otters want to schedule a formal ceremony!"

Rei groaned.

"Definitely not expanding."