Chapter 27 – Whiskers Gets a Rival: A Dog Who Believes in Honor, Loyalty, and Belly Rubs

It started with a boom and a golden gate opened in the clouds. There the sunlight poured down and trumpets blared. The flowers bloomed in reverse.

And then a figure appeared...

General Barktholomew Woofenstein of the Heavenly Hounds.

Breed: Celestial Guardian Dog (Flame-Fur Class)

Rank: Divine Vanguard, Loyalty Division

Titles:

 • "The Goodest Boy"

 • "Tail-Wagging Spear of Justice"

 • "Bringer of Fetch and Order"

His mission?

"To restore balance. And sniff the one they call... Whiskers."

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Barktholomew arrived at Azure Cloud Sect, tail wagging in righteous tempo.

He bowed and his voice thundered with honor and said loudly "I come in peace and discipline and possibly snacks."

Then, Xi-Xi offered him three dumplings.

He accepted it and then asked sternly:

"Where is the rogue deity in feline form? The one who naps without purpose? Who bites contracts and ignores structure?"

Whiskers was, at that moment, upside down on a sun-warmed rock, paw batting lazily at a falling leaf.

They locked eyes.

The wind trembled.

Someone whispered:

"It has begun."

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Barktholomew believes in rules, greets every elder with a bow, gives speeches about "valor", and enjoys scheduled fetch time, synchronized patrols, and formal tail etiquette

Whiskers on the other hand believes in naps, ignores every elder equally, gives speeches by blinking slowly and most of all enjoys chaos, fish, disrespecting reality, and chewing on things that say "do not chew"

They circled each other for hours then Whiskers flicked his tail. Barktholomew offered him a squeaky divine relic.

Whiskers batted it into a pond and mysteriously the koi now speak in woofs.

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To settle who was the greater beast, the disciples begged them to compete.

Not in combat but in challenges of grace, power, and adorable destruction.

Ruan Fei rolled her eyes.

Xi-Xi built a scoreboard out of sticks and glowing fruit.

Round 1: Obstacle Course

Barktholomew zoomed through. Flawless and glorious. No overturned vases.

Whiskers sat on the finish line again and a hawk landed to worship him.

Point: Whiskers.

Round 2: Command Obedience

Barktholomew performed seventeen tricks, including "Heal the Wounded with a Woof."

Whiskers knocked over a cup and walked away.

The judges began crying.

Point: …unclear.

Round 3: Divine Cuteness

Barktholomew wore a tiny crown and wagged his tail in sync with a celestial harp.

Whiskers blinked once from inside a dumpling steamer basket.

The heavens cracked.

Point: Whiskers.

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Barktholomew confronted Whiskers at dusk.

"You have no loyalty. No honor. No chew discipline. What do you stand for?"

Whiskers leapt onto his head.

Purred.

Sat down.

A pause.

And then said "...Me," he whispered in a voice made of wind and fishbones.

Barktholomew stood frozen and then bowed deeply.

"...I may not understand you. But you are... consistent."

Then they begin to: Nap near each other (but never touching) and patrol the sect together, Barktholomew sniffing for intruders, Whiskers batting away bureaucracy where they accidentally start a two-beast patrol force called "Paws and Order"

Their motto:

"We don't understand each other. But we agree: squirrels are up to something."

Extra: Reports from the Sect

✎ "They've stopped fighting. Now they just silently compete to catch falling leaves first."

✎ "The dog made a temple out of bones. The cat peed on it. The dog thanked him."

✎ "They say when they nap side by side, world peace increases by 0.03%."