《HP: Too Late, System!》Chapter 26: The Disappointed Mr. Filch

Douglas stroked Mrs. Norris in his arms and turned to Filch.

"Mr. Filch, let me handle these two."

Filch fixed the twins with a twisted grin, not looking up as he replied,

"No, Professor Holmes, you're far too pure-hearted and gentle. You simply don't understand how devious these two brats can be. Leave them to me—I'll make sure they never forget this lesson! Trust me, ha!"

The sight made Douglas frown. He glanced at the twins—faces smeared with despair, but eyes full of desperate hope as they looked his way. He couldn't imagine what on earth the twins had done over the years to earn such special attention from Filch. Even back when Douglas was a student, the worst troublemakers hadn't managed to get under Filch's skin like this.

For the sake of everyone's mental and physical wellbeing, Douglas put his foot down.

"Mr. Filch, I believe you know I'm the one who caught them. As a professor, school policy gives me the final say in their punishment."

He ignored Filch's resentful glare and addressed the twins sternly.

"George Weasley, Fred Weasley, for violating school rules by sneaking out of your common room at this hour, and for attempting to attack a patrolling professor, I am deducting fifty points each from Gryffindor. In addition, you'll both serve two months' detention."

The twins' wails echoed down the corridor:

"Noooo!"

"Professor McGonagall's going to murder us!"

For a moment, they truly wished they'd pleaded to go with Filch instead. As caretaker, Filch didn't actually have the authority to deduct points—he always had to report offenders to their Head of House for that. Now, thanks to Douglas, Gryffindor's already meager supply of rubies in the house hourglass in the Great Hall vanished completely.

Filch glared at the twins, frustrated but forced to accept it. Castle rules were clear: professors outranked caretakers when it came to discipline. If a professor was present, Filch had no right to mete out punishment. Still, he took some satisfaction in seeing the notorious twins finally get what was coming to them.

Surveying the mess of filth coating the twins—and the sticky residue splattered across the corridor—Douglas had no choice but to wave his wand and cast a series of Scouring Charms, clearing away every last trace.

Once the air was finally clean, the twins gulped in huge breaths, looking as if they'd narrowly escaped suffocation.

Handing Mrs. Norris back to Filch, Douglas offered a polite apology.

"Mr. Filch, I'll take care of these two. The rest of tonight's patrol is yours."

Filch accepted his beloved cat, grumbling,

"Professor Holmes, other professors have tried punishing these two before, but nothing ever works. I still think my methods might be more… Well, if they keep acting up, I hope you'll hand them over to me!"

He shot the twins another venomous glare before reluctantly shuffling off.

Douglas removed his Bubble-Head Charm—the air was finally free of that dreadful stench. He glanced at the downcast twins.

"You two—come with me."

George mustered the nerve to ask,

"Professor, you're not going to hand us over to Professor McGonagall, are you?"

Douglas snorted.

"You really think Professor McGonagall won't notice the state of Gryffindor's hourglass in the morning?"

Fred nudged George, sighing with relief.

"Thank Merlin it's only the first week—no one's got many points yet. Otherwise, Percy would probably tear us apart before McGonagall even got the chance!"

George slung an arm around his brother.

"Thanks, mate. That's the best news I've heard all night!"

But then both remembered Douglas's mention of two months' detention. Their faces twisted with pain—after all, the first term at Hogwarts was barely any longer than that.

Douglas strode ahead, the twins trailing behind, arms over each other's shoulders, whispering.

"George, did you hear Filch just called Douglas pure and kind?"

"Yeah, Fred, you heard right. That old git's been completely fooled by this fraud!"

Douglas stopped and looked back at them. Even now, they still had the nerve to joke.

"I think you two deserve another two weeks of detention."

The twins exchanged a look of mock indifference, then shrugged and accepted the extra punishment without a word. What's another fortnight when you're already doomed?

When they reached the office, the twins immediately flopped into chairs. Fred snagged a sweet from Douglas's plate and popped it into his mouth. Catching Douglas's surprised look, George grinned and fished a toffee from his own pocket, offering it up.

"Professor, fancy a trade?"

If Douglas hadn't known about the twins' legendary trickster talents, he might have been taken in by their act. Still, he accepted the toffee—setting it aside without comment.

"Hand it over," Douglas said, raising an eyebrow.

After a brief, silent exchange, the twins edged back a step. Fred was still chewing, cheeks bulging with pastry.

Douglas fixed them with a look.

"The Marauder's Map. Don't bother playing dumb—I've never seen such hopeless night-wanderers."

Fred grumbled, "I've never seen a professor so hopeless he uses a Disillusionment Charm on patrol."

Still, what was done was done. George obediently handed over the Marauder's Map. As for hoping Douglas hadn't figured out its secret—well, that was wishful thinking. Anyone who could name the Marauder's Map on sight had clearly been watching the whole time.

Douglas took the map, snorting at their indignant faces.

"I know what you're thinking. I wasn't spying the whole time—you two idiots just happened to hide right next to me. And for the record, this thing was supposed to be tucked away in the confiscated items cabinet..."

George and Fred stared at him in shock, then their faces lit up with excitement.

"Professor, are you Padfoot or Prongs?"

"Or Wormtail? Moony?"

They could barely contain themselves. After all, the reason they'd evaded Filch for two years was thanks to the Marauder's Map.

Douglas shook his head.

"None of them. I was once a beneficiary of the Marauder's Map myself. When I graduated, I put it back in its original hiding place—hoping the next worthy inheritors would find it."

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