My First Loss and What It Taught Me

"Down? How the hell did it go down?!"

The words slipped out of my mouth like I'd just swallowed poison. My hands were shaking as I clutched my phone, its bright screen cutting through the dimness of my rented room. The $KRNO chart, which that morning had shown a glimmer of hope at $0.0082, was now freefalling like a plane that lost its engine. Red. Blazing red. Red announcing destruction.

$0.0051.

In just 14 hours.

Gone. Half my portfolio's life force, wiped out.

I hit refresh. Again. And again. But the result was the same. Red. Empty. Like a nightmare that just wouldn't end.

Nausea crept up my throat. This wasn't just a number. This wasn't just a paper loss. This was money for the next three days of food. This was money I was supposed to use for rent. This was my financial lifeblood.

I remembered the night before. A night full of fake euphoria.

I'd just sold half my VEED, a digital asset that had gone up a bit and given me a sliver of hope. The money from that sale, about 500k rupiah, felt warm in my account. I felt like a rookie gambler who'd just won their first bet—proud and ignorant.

CryptoGhost, the guy I trusted in the Telegram group, gave a strong signal. And I, stupid and thirsty for quick gains, dove right in. I bought $KRNO without digging deeper. Just rode the hype and sweet promises from the community.

Before bed, I checked the Telegram group one last time. CryptoGhost's final message glowed on the screen:

"Don't check the chart every 10 minutes. Focus on learning. Profits are a bonus. Knowledge is your foundation."

Back then, I smiled. That line felt like a calming mantra. Like a promise that everything would be okay.

But now?

That line felt like a cruel joke.

The next morning, checking my phone before work, notifications flooded the screen.

[PumpHunter69 left the group]

[RakaToken was removed by admin]

[CryptoGhost changed group description] → "Stop panicking. Learn why you lost."

My heart started racing. I quickly opened the group chat. The atmosphere had totally shifted. Yesterday it was full of energy and cheerleading, today it was panic, accusations, and condemnation.

"This is a rug pull, right??" "Why are all the whales selling at once??" "Did the admins just trap us??" "I sold at a 700k loss, man..." "Just joined yesterday, already traumatized. Thanks a lot."

I stared, frozen. The world felt like it was crumbling. I wanted to be angry. But angry at who? CryptoGhost? The whales? Or myself for being such an idiot?

At the restaurant, my mind was blank. But that hollow feeling echoed in my chest.

"Andi, you okay?" Bagas, my coworker, asked.

"Yeah... just tired," I replied quietly.

But what I was actually feeling wasn't tiredness.

It was heartbreak. But not from love. From money. From shattered hopes. From the stupidity I felt myself for.

That night.

I returned to my tiny rental room. I sat cross-legged on the floor. My phone glowed, showing the $KRNO chart now at $0.0047—almost half what I paid for it.

I stared at the screen. My breathing was heavy.

"I was such an idiot... I thought this was the beginning of winning."

My eyes burned. I didn't know if I should cry, get angry, or just give up.

Then, suddenly, a notification popped up.

CryptoGhost replied to your message: "If losing makes you quit, you should get out now. But if losing makes you learn... then you're just starting to understand this world."

I stared at that message for a long time.

Part of me wanted to reply: "I don't want to learn, I want to eat."

But a smaller, deeper part whispered: "Did you really think this would be easy?"

That night, I didn't fall asleep right away.

I opened my old borrowed laptop, the one usually used for YouTube and admin tasks. This time, not for watching entertainment videos.

I typed: "Why did the altcoin price suddenly crash?" "How to avoid crypto pump and dump" "Explain Tokenomics"

My fingers danced across the keyboard. Hundreds of tabs opened. Article after article. Explanation videos. Everything about a world I thought was easy, but was actually full of traps.

Hours passed. My eyes stung. But my mind… it started opening up.

First Lesson: Tokens Without Liquidity are Dangerous

I finally understood that $KRNO had a huge total supply, but tiny daily transaction volume. What did that mean? If a whale (a big holder) sold 1 billion tokens at once, the price would instantly collapse. Just like what happened.

Second Lesson: Developers Can Dump Themselves

I learned many new altcoin projects are secretly held by the team, who can 'release' their tokens at peak price and then disappear. In other words… a legal rug pull. And that's probably what happened.

Third Lesson: Don't Trust Communities Without Double-Checking

I realized that many Telegram & Discord accounts are made just to hype up a token. CryptoGhost didn't take money. But that wasn't a guarantee his signals were always right.

"Maybe he was wrong too. Or maybe he was being tested..."

2:41 AM WIB.

I opened my portfolio again.

$KRNO: -47%

Remaining balance: Rp28,000

VEED: barely anything left, almost worthless

I had no savings. No GoPay balance. Just two ten-thousand rupiah bills and a 500 rupiah coin left in my wallet.

I closed the laptop. I stared at the ceiling, which was starting to get dim with the approaching dawn.

"I was wrong... but I'm just starting to get it. So if I stop now, it's not a money loss... it's a lesson loss."

That's when I realized. I could cry over losing hundreds of thousands. Or I could get up because I gained a million-rupiah lesson.

The next day.

During a work break, I bought a cheap instant coffee and sat alone behind the restaurant. I opened my phone's Notes app and wrote:

Andi's Notes – Day 5 of learning crypto

Don't buy a token just because the community is hyped.

Check the transaction volume & tokenomics.

Don't use money meant for basic needs.

Learn how to research before buying.

Failing isn't the end, as long as you understand why it happened.

That day, it wasn't profit I got.

It was something more valuable: the awareness that loss is part of the process.

That night, lying in bed scrolling YouTube, a notification popped up:

Recommended for you: "How I bounced back from a 90% crypto loss and survived"

Channel: AltcoinMentor

The thumbnail was simple. Just the face of a 30-something guy with red text: "Profits are the result. But mindset is the capital."

I stared at the thumbnail. Something was pulling me in. Something felt familiar. Something made me curious.

But was this the real answer?

Or just another illusion that would make me fall even deeper?

I lifted my mouse. The cursor hovered over the Play button.

I could choose to close this tab and go back to my miserable life.

Or I could choose to click and start a new journey.

I stared at the screen. My heart was pounding.

And then...

I clicked.

And from here... my life's path changed