Azrael

Noor walked briskly to the husk of a man rolling back and forth in that dim cathedral. She yanked him up and held him to her eye level. It was to be noted that Noor was about 5 centimetres taller than Azrael.

"We're going home...I will be expecting your answer tomorrow." She said coldly as she walked out of the church of the Lord of War and soared into the sky leaving a trail of fire behind.

Azrael was not sure what to feel, he was on one hand angry and sad that the girl had met such a demise, on the other hand he felt angry and sad he had seen it. He wasn't only angry at the barbarians that did that but also angry with himself. He had fed the poor child nonsensical hope, he had sat on his ass and never even considered performing his military duties. 

He knew that him going on patrol was not necessarily the way to have saved the poor Lana but he also knew that he had not tried.

His wrath was overwhelming him, he wanted to rip the bastard that committed such heinous acts to shreds but he did not know who to take his anger out on and so it ate him up. He was weak in that moment, weak in the sense that he could not protect, his powers were nothing but parlour tricks if they could not save anyone. If all he could do was give people false hope then he was not for it.

He did not know when they got home but he hobbled in. He walked past the surprised Luene and Bilach as he headed upstairs.

"Wait! Azrael what's wrong? You're covered in blood..." Bilach shouted as she chased after him but was held back by Noor. 

" Don't worry, it is not his blood"

Azrael barely heard what she said and his heart erupted in emotion again. He was lost, a drowning man clutching at straws and right now the closest straw he could see was Zahra.

He knocked on her door but he could barely hear the sounds of his fists. Zahra opened up, it was clear that she was in the middle of dressing up after showering, her hair was still wet and she was dressed in her towel. 

Azrael flew into her arms and began weeping, hoping his tears would cleanse his soul and clear his troubled mind. 

" Lana....she is...hic....Lana, Zahra...they killed her...those sick Corville bastards. I fed her hope, I told her she had her whole life ahead of her. I lied to her and pushed her to go live with that family while I stayed here holed up in this city, sitting on my ass!" Azrael said, his words barely coherent anymore but Zahra listened keenly without interrupting him.

"Az, you know it's not your fault...who's to say that you joining the patrols would have saved her...maybe it was meant to happen as sad as that is..."

" Meant to happen? A village was meant to be massacred? Lana was meant to be defiled and then killed? Don't be confused Zahra, this is no will of the heaven, the hell we have created down here is all our handiwork and only we can fix that. So fuck that meant to be crap !"

" Okay...you're right, I'm sorry, how about we get you washed up and then we lay on the bed? Does that sound good to you?" Zahra asked pulling away the the hairs sticking to Azrael's forehead. She didn't seem to mind how messy he had gotten her, she held him tighter as he continued to bawl. Then she led him into her bathroom and proceeded to scrub him clean. 

Azrael began to feel better in the warm water, his hands stopped shaking, his vision cleared and his chest relaxed. He was still burdened by the sadness, the indescribable emptiness of his heart, the guilt of playing a part in the demise of Lana and by extension the whole village. He could tell he was being stubborn but his feelings would not back down. He could not accept the turn of events. He wanted to be angry. But the atmosphere was softening him.

Zahra noticed that he seemed more stable. She held him closely as the water fell on their entangled bodies, her heart beating into his, sharing the sorrow he felt. Azrael then began to recount all that he had seen and experienced while Zahra's face remained unfazed, only retaining the initial look of sympathy. She waited until he was done before speaking.

"Azrael, I have a couple of things I want to tell you and I want you to listen very carefully first...is that okay?" 

Azrael nodded. 

" I am very sorry that you had to see someone you had grown to care about meet such a demise. I am saddened that that beautiful girl I once knew is no longer present in this world. You are right to feel angry at the Corville Empire, you are right to feel sad that Lana lost her life, all your emotions are valid, even the guilt that gnaws at your soul. 

Second, Master Noor is an amazing human being, she has been a second mother to me. When I came under her, I had lost too much in my life, I was bitter, at not just the disease that stole my parents from me but also at the whole world for not caring. I owe Master Noor my life and who I am right now but in as much as she is a great person, she is also a person nonetheless. 

It is in our nature to err, it is in our nature to seek after sin and turn away from all that is good. We are not fighting against sin but rather fighting against good. So she too sins and is not a faithful beacon of character. You are a smart man, an intelligent man that I have fallen in love with, so I am sure you already know Master Noor had her reasons for showing you all of that. Whether she believes it is for the best or if she is doing it for her own selfish reasons, at the end of the day Master wanted you angry. She wanted you to see the harsh reality and gain conviction.

It is also part of human nature to use the emotions of others for our benefit. We all do it, we all play into each other's emotions and desires. If I want you to do something for me, I know a kiss goes a long way. If you want someone to help you, you evoke their empathy. Master Noor knows you are a kind person and she knows that showing you all that will turn you towards her. I will not debate the validity of her actions but I will warn you. Whenever something or someone makes you feel a certain way, ask yourself...am I being manipulated? If I am, what are the fact." Zahra finished her lengthy talk with a heavy sigh.

She looked into Azrael's eyes who seemed to be deep in thought, he sighed and then spoke:

" Thank you Zahra. I needed to hear that. I have been in a state of turmoil, I knew that this was all going according to Master Noor's plan but I was too stubborn to admit it and I wanted to act on my emotions. Regardless, I have already come to a decision but thanks to you I know it is not from a place of clouded judgement. Maybe it is....but I still think this is a decision I would arrive at any point in time. I have found conviction like she wanted, for better or for worse....Listening to you talk has made me realise how amazing and how lucky I am to be able to be with you....I...love...you"

" I love you too Azrael" Zahra whispered into his ear.

"I know you're curious and I appreciate you not bringing it up all this time; you see I have had a hard time getting intimate with you because...I carry a scar with me.....when my father died, all custody was relinquished to our family maid Mariam. At that point in time, the village had already become a haven for the delirious, everyone believed me to be a Messiah and Mariam was no different...." Azrael started crying, he was surprised at the liquid cascading down his face. Zahra wiped his tears and gave him a kiss on the cheek and it gave him the strength to continue.

"Mariam...Mariam was crazy in her own way...I don't know what prophecy she had heard or what motives she had but....she would visit me at night. Steal into my room and climb into bed and then she would always, without fail. ask...' Do you want candy?'...there were times where she would come with another man and they would together....Uhm yeah...I don't think I can go on...sorry" Azrael said, his tears now flowing freely. He felt fortunate he was in the shower where he did not have to worry about his tears.

"It's okay Az, take your time, I'm here....I am so sorry you had to go through that...You have had a rough childhood Az." Zahra tightened her hold on him, smothering his cries and shivering in her warm embrace. Azrael was not sure when but he had calmed down...he looked up and into Zahra's compassionate eyes.

" Zahra...I have had a hard time and I haven't and still don't completely understand everything but I know one thing for sure...I love you and I want to be with you"

Zahra smiled as she turned the running water off. The bathroom was filled with steam. As their bodies started getting colder, Azrael reeled Zahra in and danced his lips upon hers, the sound echoing in the bathroom. The flame burning in the lantern went off at Azrael's command as he and Zahra made their way to the bed. 

He could feel her hot breath on his neck, her supple breasts against his chest and himself between her thighs. And in her embrace and muffled moans, Azrael found himself.