Ghosts

Luan was surrounded by trees. The sun dappled through their leaves, mixing with the golden red hues that littered the branches above. The ground was all dirt and rocks, grass growing in every available patch with a desperate need to fill the world with speckled life.

He had no shoes, toes digging into the dirt as the shade cooled his feet. There was a breeze, soft and filled with the scent of lilacs like a breath of muted sugar. It was amazing to him, the way flowers smelled sweat like dessert, yet tasted so very bitter, like a horrendous medicine.

He remembered this place. There was a large set of rocks ahead, creating a small nook he'd dubbed his secret hideout. He was walking there, the memory so fresh it felt like it had happened yesterday.

Because that's what this was: A memory.

Luan had visited this piece of his past before, always as a dream he wished so desperately to change. He was small, still just a child incapable of affecting fate the way he so desperately needed to.

He wanted to stop, to turn and run before he ever set foot in that shaded crevice.

He willed his body to listen to the dread pooling in his stomach, tiny arms and legs carrying him forward with artificial determination as his mind screamed at them to change this memory.

But you can't change something that's already happened.

He stopped in front of the rocks, imposing to his small stature in the way only size can manage.

The large shadow they cast was nothing compared to the terror he felt. This was always how it started. A trip to the hideout, just a little time away from the deplorable servants his father always kept around him, keeping him in check, leaving zero space to grow like a child is supposed to.

This wasn't the part of the memory he dreaded. This place was still untouched, but what it led to managed to ruin any pleasantness it once held for him.

He didn't pay attention to the way the rocks dipped, how tight it was, squishing through to the giant opening he'd claimed as a pretend home.

Small enough to fit was all that mattered. Luan went inside, remembering the excitement he'd felt, getting to be here again after so long of struggling to find any time for himself. The way he felt so at peace, no one trying to mold him into something he'd never be able to become, no one treating him like dirt just for being born.

This was his place, and no one could take it from him.

They'd have to somehow fit inside, first. Luan was confident they would fail, and look completely ridiculous while trying.

It occurred to him, watching this scene unfold once again, that the same could be said for his present size. He would never be able to go back to that place, physically speaking. Mentally was a whole other barrel of monkeys he refused to acknowledge while he had things his way.

The subconscious seemed to refuse to cooperate when he let his guard down, though.

It was dark inside, a couple beams of light filtering in from cracks between the boulders. He'd hung up some string with paper mache animals tied to them. His mother had helped him make those, saying he could take them to his secret club and add some color. Though, getting them to stay up was a real challenge for the tiny limbs he'd sported back then.

Even now, they hung in haphazard strips, dangling in places he'd failed to secure properly as he had to duck under a couple fallen lines. To his young mind, it had been perfect, though he could see now it was less so.

Everything felt so fascinating as a child, the world so big and exciting to a mind that had seen so little of it. After that day, Luan would give anything to see less.

He realized as he got comfy in his make-shift haven, that he had brought a prize. Tiny, rainbow colored shells that glittered in the beams of light, creating a plethora of colorful lights that danced around the small cave. He'd gathered them a few days ago, one of the only times he'd ever gotten to tag along when his father was having a bonding day with Arlan.

His mother had insisted on going, talking about how unfair it was that Arlan got to experience the sea when Luan had hardly even been out of the house in recent years. It was one of the few times Luan had seen her actually fight Henry about something regarding the way he was raised. Usually, he just let her do whatever she wanted when it came to Luan's mental health. He was expected to learn everything befitting a Dalton, though, which meant a plethora of tutors and very little time to actually get to see his mothers parenting in action.

She seemed to be more and more withdrawn each time he got to see her. The other day, though, was special. She had been smiling, holding his hand the entire time as they wandered the sandy walkways. The sea spread out in sprawling waves of movement, the color so blue he'd never think of the color in the same way again. She had laughed, eyes crinkling in pure joy when she found one of the little shells. It was reflecting light, half-buried beneath the sands as water pooled along its edges.

"These are called seashells, Lu. They bring good luck and will protect you, even when I'm not there to play with you." She whispered, holding the shell in her palms like it was a delicate piece of glass that held the stars. Luan had been so entranced by the dancing colors, and felt like every time he looked at them, his mother was right there with him.

He didn't realize how prophetic her words were at the time. That she wouldn't always be there.

In this memory, he had brought them to his hideout, the perfect addition to his growing horde of treasures. Each one alluded to his mother in some way. She was always the one to bring something bright and joyful to his life.

It was as he placed them along one of the rocks, its surface similar enough to a shelf to hold his treasures safely, when he first heard it.

A scream.

It was shrill, pure terror etched into every fiber of sound as it echoed through the cluster of woods he had wandered to. It sounded so scared, like something truly horrific had appeared and caused the owner of the sound to expel every last fear into one sound.

Luan had froze, small form trembling in the effort to stay completely still. Luan used to always freeze when he got scared. Like not moving would make whatever was causing his fear to forget he was there, maybe take pity on the scared silence his form would fall into.

Another one pierced the air, loud and urgent, as if barely able to exist in the space of whoever made it running for their life. Luan heard footsteps approaching his hiding spot, clipped and stumbling as he peered through a crack in the rocks.

Something was coming.

A woman stumbled out of the trees, hair long and shining like a beam of golden light across her shoulders. It covered her face, tangled and matted in places from where some mud and branches had been smudged into it. Luan couldn't see her face, but he knew who she was, regardless.

His mother.

Her head shot up, hair falling to the side, and he could finally see what expression she had. Her eyes were blown wide, skin pale and ashen. Heaving breaths left her in gasps, hands trembling around each other as she clutched clumsily at her neck. A deep red was seeping through part of her dress, marring the summery color of a clear sky and turning it a dark purple. Like dusk approaching.

Panic struck as she was, she never did notice Luan hiding in the crevice of rock.

This part of the memory didn't show the worst part, though.

Luan knew what was coming, something evil approaching his panicking mother as she tried to find a plan to get away.

There was a slow crunching in the trees, something bigger than her approaching slowly, as though whoever it was had all the time in the world. There were no inflamed actions, no angered movements that made one think this was personal. With a final step, the figure emerged from the trees, the glinting of light bouncing off the gun in his hand. Luan's eyes were wide, body trembling as he felt tears flicker across his vision.

He knew who it was.

It was-