I Smiled So They Wouldn’t Ask

What's harder than pain?

It's saying it loud,

In rooms full of people

Who miss every cloud.

You speak of your ache,

They roll their eyes

So you learn to stay quiet,

To bury your cries.

I smiled

not 'cause I'm okay,

But words just push

The love away.

They call it drama,

Mock the scar,

So I pretend

I'm just how they are.

They don't see the madness

Behind my calm face,

The silent explosions

I daily erase.

They don't feel the weight

In my whispered "fine,"

They just nod and move on

as if it's a sign.

Oh family, my family,

You were meant to hold,

But you melt my softness

And shame my cold.

You preach of love,

But choke my voice

You say I'm broken

By my choice.

I've tried to tell you,

Tried to share,

But you measure pain

By how much I dare.

So now I smile

Just like you need

And feed the lie

You want to feed.

You say,

"She's smiling,

she must be well,"

But I've mastered the art

Of not needing to tell.