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DeadpoolUltra by BatRou-Dawg
Misc » Book X-overs Rated: M, English, Drama & Humor, Words: 70k+, Favs: 24, Follows: 27, Published: May 2, 2023 Updated: May 3, 2023
1Chapter 4
It would take a full week for my ID to be made.
In the meantime I would be given a stipend to live off of and an apartment room not to far from where the Heberts lived, as Danny was the only guy I trusted enough not to stab me in the back.
I didn't know shit about Armsmaster, but I KNOW that he fucked (not literally) Skitter in the back.
That was something pretty much all the fanfics I read made clear.
If that's any sort of indication about what CAN happen... well.
It's paranoia inducing, I'll say that much.
What was good was the fact that I wasn't going to Arcadia, but the shithole that is Winslow.
God please help me prevent the locker incident.
They probably have it in their heads that after fighting off every ABB wannabe and a half, I'll be begging to switch to Arcadia.
Ugh.
I forgot that I was gonna be hanging out with angsty teens...
...I'm gonna regret this aren't I?
Well, whatever. What's important is that some of my funds are being used to help out the Heberts.
Even if it's only for my own mental security, it's worth it.
Because the Heberts have value to the PRT based off of their connection to me. If bullying reports come up, something might actually be done about it.
At least I hope it does. It better. Because if I have to go back to HIGHSCHOOL for this shit and it doesn't pan out?
I'm going to have to get a costume for a 1 shot villain episode. Fuck. I could probably get in contact with Uber and Leet and just go fucking Blaskowicz and hit up a major Empire base and just fucking go full on Attack on Castle Wolfenstein.
Actually I should make a 2nd alter ego when I have to skirt around the law anyways. Note to self. Save this plan.
Speaking of which I should really get into figuring out where the hell my secret base and outfits are anyways. That's actually kind of a biggie.
"Well, regardless, in the meantime..." I opened up a laptop and opened up the browser... "Huh. Bing is the Google of Earth Bet. Who'd have known."
I typed in the words Parahumans Online and hit search. Instantly the link appeared at the top of the search page and I clicked with all the furiosity of a million fanboys.
"Hello, Joe."
"WhATFOIDNSODNF!"
I fell over as what looked like a Matrix text rendition of a woman's face appeared on my screen.
"Ha ha. No need to be so surprised, Mr. Lee. I am Dragon. I work with the Protectorate."
Oh sure, yeah don't panic when FUCKING DRAGON IS ON MY LAPTOP!
"I'm afraid you have me at a loss here..."
Dragon chuckled, "Oh, don't worry. I just figured that a new Case 53 could use a hand with getting proper accounts set up. I already have two ready for you, they just need proper usernames. One for your Cape Persona, and a civilian one."
Is this the PRT trying to keep tabs on my web usage? Probably. Fuck it, I can always make more accounts.
"Oh, ok. Thanks. That... that's actually really kind of you. So I just need to decide a username? Hmm..."
I really wanted to have a funny username, but that's not necessarily good PR conducive. Maybe I can use TheRegenerateDegenerate as a villain/vigilante name? Fuck, might as well call myself Deadpool and be done with it at that poin... huh. That could work actually. Note to self. See if Deadpool is a thing on Earth Aleph. If it is not, MAKE DEADPOOL an alter ego.
Shit, stop derailing. (FUCK YOU I WANNA BE DEADPOOL) Hero name. Hero name...
I could never do the name justice, but is ALL MIGHT available? If it is... that would be such a fanboy move... Still, memes aside, I need something serious. Something that can become iconic...
Something SUPER PR friendly that makes it hard for the PRT to twist if it comes to it.
Savior? Ugh. That might cause a cult issue. I don't need that.
Paragon? Seems more pretentious than heroic to me. Still... Might not be too bad though.
Paladin? Mmmm. If I get Surgeon I can pretend that it's Lay on Hands, ha ha. That could be funny.
Juggernaut? Maybe not heroic enough. Feels more villainy. Or I read too much XMen.
Galactic? Galacticus? Galaxy? Could work with the eyes. And my Shard certainly has enough energy to be a Galaxy. Huh. I need flight for that though. Or so it feels, thematically. But I don't want a suit that looks like the milky way galaxy.
GAH! TOO MANY THOUGHTS.
When in doubt and in a pit. Dig deeper and GO FULL WEEB.
"...Is All Might taken?"
I hereby swear to do my best to live up to that name... especially in costume.
"Oh, aiming high, are we?"
"It's best to. I want something that stands out. Something to reassure people. To show them that there is hope. For I am here."
Dragon's face (is it a face? I know she's some sort of AI, but-) didn't move, even though the code that made it kept flowing all Matrix style.
"I see." she said, after a while, "That is a kind dream."
"Someone has to dream of it."
"I suppose you're not wrong. Alright. Here is your account information for your Cape Account. And your civilian username?"
I shrugged, "Negenthropy."
It looked like Dragon raised a brow at me, but helped without a fuss.
"Well, it was nice meeting you, All Might." Dragon smiled kindly, "I look forward to working with you."
"You too. Thanks for all the help."
"And one last thing. I'm going to send you a link. You should take a look at it. You're in it after all."
"Oh. I am? Ok, thank you."
What the hell could I be in?
So I logged in.
Welcome to the Parahumans Online Message Boards
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Topic: Brockton Bay Dockworker's Union Thanks New Cape!
In: Boards News Events America
It'sAlwaysLegDayInBrocktonBay (Dockworker's Union)
Posted on September 1st 2010
The Dockworker's Union would like to publicly thank the newest Cape in Brockton Bay for saving us from the Merchant's attempt at expanding their territory!
From keeping the Merchants focused solely on himself and preventing any civilian casualty/injuries and even letting the ones who didn't fight (who were probably gangpressed anyways) leave in peace at the end.
We thank you for preventing any further conflict from escalating.
And also for kicking Skidmark twice into the ocean. That was cathartic as hell.
It's always good to know that a no good drug lord like Skidmark is rotting in jail where he belongs.
EDIT: The opinions above referring to member of the Archer's Bridge Merchants do not speak for the whole of the Dockworker's Union. Any and all Libel/Slander towards any individual is simply of a personal opinion of an individual person.
IntrospectiveThinker
Posted on September 1st 2010
Wait what? I heard some PRT vans last night near the docks, but they were also responding to gang skirmishes everywhere in the city. Already got sad news about civilian casualties and property damage galore.
Something actually good happened to a part of Brockton Bay for once?
BornOn420 (Temp-Banned)
Posted on September 1st 2010
[This message has been deleted due to: Excessive Profanity and Promises of Personal Harm]
USER HAS RECEIVED A TEMPORARY BAN FOR THIS POST
TinMother: Calls to violence and excessive profanity are not acceptable. Enjoy your temp-ban.
ONI-Belle (Unverified Felinid)
Posted on September 1st 2010
You'd think that Merchants could think of a username WITHOUT 420 in it...
What's the new cape like, anyways?
PadawanD
Posted on September 1st 2010
I had my phone out (was with my dad) and thought that we were just gonna get in a big brawl to protect the docks.
Then this goliath comes out of the car with the Dockworker's Union leader and... holy shit.
Just watch the video HERE
LeYodaX
Posted on September 1st 2010
Dude... DUDE. It looks like he got stabbed in the neck two separate times! What is he a zombie?!
And Skidmark getting sparta kicked and SKIPPING across the water made my fucking day!
Ollie-Man (Pro-Skater)
Posted on September 1st 2010
Radical.
XxVoid_CowboyxX (2 Strikes)
Posted on September 1st 2010
Dude gives me chills. No homo.
For I am here. Dude can come save me. My homework is terrifying.
MGunner (Cape Groupie) (1 Strike)
Posted on September 1st 2010
You're homework isn't terrifying. You're just stupid. It's ok. We'll all speak slowly for you XxVoid_CowboyxX
USER HAS RECEIVED AN INFRACTION FOR THIS POST
TinMother: Now that's just not nice. Play nice everyone!
XxVoid_CowboyxX (3 Strikes, You're Temp-Banned!)
Posted on September 1st 2010
[This message has been deleted due to: Profanity]
USER HAS RECEIVED A TEMPORARY BAN FOR THIS POST
TinMother: There's no need to go there, even if you were goaded. Enjoy your time out.
Honorable (PHO Moderator)
Posted on September 1st 2010
Come on guys, let's all be mature here.
Also the cape in the video didn't scream in pain ONCE... that's some real pain tolerance there.
Coyote-C
Posted on September 1st 2010
Yeah, and let's stay on topic while we're at it. Thank god Void got temp-banned before he could derail this thread like he always does.
What's important is that we have a new cape that WIPED Skidmark before that guy could do anything significant. (Did you see that guy just get stabbed twice in the arm and just KICK that drug lord wannabe? God, that makes me so happy to see that. I made a gif of it HERE)
BloodMarksTheSpot
Posted on September 1st 2010
Cathartic GIF is Cathartic. Just wish the camera quality was better.
PadawanD
Posted on September 1st 2010
To be fair it was just my phone. *Shrugs* Next time I'll bring a professional camera. And hire a butler to wipe your ass.
BloodMarksTheSpot
Posted on September 1st 2010
Good. Dew it, young Padawan. PadawanD
HalflingOfTheSTORM
Posted on September 1st 2010
What I want to know is why he let them go so easy at the end. Not that I'm talking smack. Just seems odd that he let them go so easily.
Look at that fight. He could have totally kicked ALL of their collective butts. Think it's a power limitation and that he was bluffing?
All_Might (Verified Cape)
Posted on September 1st 2010
I didn't think it necessary for there to be any further bloodshed. I already had Skidmark in a state where I didn't have to worry about civilian casualties when subduing him. The docks had been secured and enough time had passed that the authorities were close to the scene.
Some people are where they are because nobody else offered them a chance at redemption. I just hope that they take the opportunity to rethink their current life choices. Or reach out to the proper authorities if they are stuck in a situation when just rethinking isn't enough.
And It'sAlwaysLegDayInBrocktonBay I'm just glad to have been able to help.
TinMother (PHO Moderator)
Posted on September 1st 2010
Everyone, this is All Might. The new cape that was at the Brockton Bay docks last night at 7:24 PM EST.
Please welcome kindly welcome him into our community.
TireSqueal (Verified Cape)
Posted on September 1st 2010
You're gonna be ALL DEAD for what you did to Skidmark!
I snorted as who I assumed HAD to be Squealer got Temp-Banned.
...and then a doctor or nurse broke HIPAA by making an alt account just to reveal that Skidmark currently had an infection because he got shot in the balls and kept running around like a madman looking for some fat ABB guy that shot him while half high on painkillers.
Huh. That might explain WHY he was SO easy to take down.
Of course it included a link to a thread with a bunch of convoluted assumptions, racism, and anger. ABB insisting that they had nothing to do with the crazy fat asian (me) and that they had already killed him off. The Merchants and Empire were NOT having it though. Especially Hookwolf.
...
Well nothing to see here. Nope. I'm not involved at all.
No idea.
I answered a few more questions in the Dockworker thread thanking me and gawked as WHILE I was posting and responding to questions, somebody already started making a wiki page on me.
What the fuck?
I didn't say shit about my powers aside from: "Yeah, I can take a hit." and "I punch hard."
Well whatever.
I looked at the Enthropy shards floating around me. 1 left from Skidmark, 2 from Velocity (I got a little 1 on 1 time with the red blur and asked him some questions about his opinions about the factions in the city), 1 (aside from the 2nd Velocity fragment she helped fill) from spending a little time around Miss Militia, 1 from Sadistic Sophie (her use of her power was too simple for more and I think only even gave 1 BECAUSE of how aggo she is), and 2 from Vista.
And I STILL needed to spend more time around Miss Militia and Vista for more.
Vista's power was so complex on a conceptual level that I could probably get 2 or 3 more fragments from her Shard and I don't even KNOW what situation Miss Militia's reverse bloom bud whatever the fuck that was...
Ugh my head hurts thinking about it, but I could consolidate more fragments by being around her.
And a weakness of Power Hub became apparent to me.
It has a range of 100 meters, but objects in the way reduce the range of it somehow. I hadn't had time enough to experience HOW it works, but I sure as hell didn't see Power Hub integrate Shadow Stalker and Vista's powers until they were right in front of me.
Maybe I have to be aware of them? Or not be in a closed off separate environment?
There's a lot more that I need to learn about my abilities and how they work.
A bit of surfing the web and and I eventually got a nicely detailed map of Brockton Bay and that's when something clicked. I shut down my laptop. Walked over to my new queen sized bed, and flopped onto it face first.
"...Fuck. My secret base is in the sewers. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"
Live Learn played from my phone, interrupting my overblown nerd rage.
I rolled over to grab my phone. Look the modern games suck ass, but Sonic has had his shares of fucking jams, ok?
"Hello? Oh, hi Mr. Heb- I mean, Danny. No I'm free. No, no I won't change my mind. Like I said. You saved my life. This much is the least I could do. I, ha, yeah. Dinner sounds great. Taylor can tell me all about Winslow. Sure, I'll definitely keep an eye on her, yeah. Ha ha. With my life, sir."
I can always look for the sewer base after food, I suppose.
END
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KSLCross
KSLCross
Dead-Might On the Lam from Virgin SB Mods
BEGIN
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-"
I promised that this new chapter would start with a combat scene right? I'm a man of my word.
I leaped up and flipped upside down, feet meeting the ceiling as I used it to reorient myself. Then I pushed off hard enough that the cement cracked like a crater as I performed a leapfrogging double axel double heel drop with my whole body mass.
Like a cannonball through a wall of mud, I burst through to the other side of what would look like a large mud/sludge golem, at my feet there was a pink goblinoid creature with a couple dozen tentacle-like protrusions.
He landed with a loud SHLOP sound as he landed in a fatburg (imagine just ALL of the cooking oil, flush-able wipes, and other shit that you SHOULDN'T flush down a toilet, but do anyways).
"Oh look, I just gave you more material to use for your shitty improvised armor." I said cheerily as I shook of some wet foul muck from my body, "Shouldn't you be in Concker's Bad Fur Day? What, you get laid off?"
There was a roar of anger (more of a growl, but let's pretend, shall we?) as now a WHITE mucky sludge golem formed and stared at me with drippy cavities for eyes.
"Ugh. Did Lung jerk it into the toilet again? Guy's got a small dick, but big balls." I ducked under a sloppy, sludgy fist, "You gonna call him daddy now? Give him the Ghost of Children That Could Have Been treatment for Christmas?"
I back-flipped as he tried to hit me again.
"Jeez man, you're getting that shit all over me! Gross! Repeat after me, s'il vous plait! BUKKAKE SHOULD BE CONSENSUAL!" I roared as I leaped up and brought down a double axe handle, DBZ style.
A large chunk of muck blew off from sheer imact-
Then a sloppy mess grabbed me around the torso.
"The safe word is Star Wars, right? It's usually Star Wars."
The disgusting cum monster that was Mush threw me deeper into the hallway and I saw the most unholy of sights.
A giant pool of shit water.
I screamed in panic and fear as I fell towards said shit water, the glow of my eyes so bright that it allowed me to see a murky shitty reflection of my terrified face.
Whoa, whoa.
You see that guy right there?
Looks like he's hit rock bottom.
Well that guy's actually me, believe it or not... Now... I bet you're wondering how I got into this wacky situation.
It all started after getting dinner with the Heberts.
They had taken me to someplace that I had read about, like a thousand times in Worm fanfictions. You know it, you love it. It's Fugly Bob's. I can't believe that's actually what the place is called. Fucking weird Worm shit man...
I had on a pair of shades to hide my eyes and pretended to be blind. Had one of those canes for blind people and everything. Had to watch a Youtube video to brush up on it, but I had volunteered with blind people before. Enough to actually know how the cane thing worked for them and thus how to spoof that behavior.
Taylor decided it was best to guide me in the last bit of the way into the shack themed fast food joint.
Can't come to Brockton Bay without coming to Fugly Bob's they said.
I didn't even get the Challenger, just in case I couldn't finish it in a half hour (I planned on revisiting this place in the future and doing just that though. Never in my life had I the opportunity to partake in a food challenge. Not once.) considering that Danny insisted on treating me. Probably should have though. Ended up eating three burgers anyways. I don't know if Peak Condition makes me need more energy, or if it's because I've been abusing Regeneration, but once I start eating nowadays, I CHOW DOWN.
Not a bad burger, to be honest. Reminded me a bit of Whataburger and Five Guys. You know, if they had a mutant love child with thicker slabs of beef patties, complementary bacon grease butter, and a signature sauce that made me think of a slightly spicy Thousand Island dressing. So the spicy version of a generic burger sauce.
Still made it work somehow.
The place had some decent music, the atmosphere was fun, but it was odd how many people were looking my way. Sure I was wearing sunglasses at night. Sure I looked like the posterboy for a ABB propaganda art. Sure I was eating hamburgers with a fork and knife just to fuck with people-
Ok, well. Huh. Maybe that might be why actually more than my appearance. Although I'm not sure just how I really appear to other people. The CYOA said my appearance would shift into what I found attractive. But nigga I got the power of God and Anime on my side. I find a LOT of shit attractive. Mostly due to anime. And hentai.
Praise be Le Anime Pope for the hentai.
Where was I? Right. Dinner.
We had some fun, Taylor got to complain and vent about some school clique stuff that I translated into (by Taylor's words) 'Boring Adult Speech' to help Danny understand and relate to her situation a bit more. Seemed the bullying had begun and she had no idea how to bring up the fact that her best friend in the whole world suddenly went psycho due to one Sophia Hess changing her world view.
That was never quite clear to me. Fanfictions always alluded vaguely about some twisted shit about predator and prey, and that Emma was trying to turn Taylor into a predator too by pushing her to the edge? I don't fucking know, don't fucking care. All I know is that THE FOOT STOPS HERE, LADIES AND GENTLE MEN.
You shall not pass... Fly you fools.
Thank god Earth Bet still had Tolkien.
It is after the meal that things get interesting. Danny offered me a ride home, but I told him that I still had something I had to do, and no it wasn't patrolling. Mostly getting the lay of the land, which wasn't wrong (that was exactly what I was doing) but I sure as hell didn't mention no secret hide out nor did I bring up the fact I needed to go sewer diving.
Fuck man, I didn't WANT to go sewer diving. But the problem was two-fold.
I needed to know how to access the base, and I needed to know my way around the sewers so that I could get to the base quickly from multiple locations in the city.
God in heaven this was gonna suck. Pocket Room allowed me to put away unnecessary shit and switch into a temporary costume. Worker's filter facemask, a generic hoodie, and a song in my heart and a dream in my pocket... dimension.
What I didn't expect was to run face first into Mush.
I probably also shouldn't have began singing the I Am The Great Mighty Poo song.
That, uhm. Well, let's say I was in the wrong this time, yeah?
"I SAID let's say that I was in the wrong this time! Stop dipping me into the shit water! You HAVE to have realized by the third dunk, I'm just HUMORING you, right?" I screeched, tired of this shit. Literally. I mean, our fight was more than enough proof that I could tear out of his sludge and I let him dip me upside down, into the shit water, like a FUCKING candle for the third time.
A white and brown (urp.) sludgy shoulders moved up and down.
"Yeah, but then you started monologue. You know that's technically the villain's shtick right?"
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"
"... Touche." He dropped me back off on the edge of the sewers we were in, dropping me on the edge. "Was supposed to gather up shit so when I found you, I could give you a hard time. Squealer's been a bit pissy since boss entered the slammer. Didn't think I'd see you down here."
"Yeah, same. Thought you'd be defending Merchant territory, to be honest. Not that I completely discounted you being down here."
The sludge shifted menacingly as I pulled a gallon of water and soap out of nowhere (from his perspective. I've got a whole apocalypse kit fucking ready in this hammerspace of mine) and started washing myself a bit more clean. Can't give away the INSTANT PRESTIDIGITATION PLUS OUTFIT SWAP that Pocket Room was capable of.
That shit is pure back pocket levels of KEEP UP MY ASS.
Gotta keep your shit together, right?
Ok, enough shit jokes.
"What's that supposed to mean."
"Well, I'm immune to disease and infections. But regular ABB and E88 grunts aren't right? Hell aside from people with an actual transformation like Hookwolf, they're ALL vulnerable. Get in a scrap, rough em up and COVER them in shit and you have yourself a LITERAL shit list of people out of the fight because they're in the hospital getting antibiotics pumped through them like air in a blow up doll."
Mush paused, half disgusted and half WAY TOO INTRIGUED by the implications.
"Yeah, that would be helpful. Covering Nazis in shit sounds like a good time, too."
"Right?! Hell, you don't even have to hurt them, just kinda wash over them like the black plague. Thin the numbers. Get shit into Victor's eyes so he can't steal skills like a fucking filthy Uchiha-meme and if you get Hookwolf stuck in the fucking SHEER DISGUSTING MASS that is a fatburg? The sludge and waste would dull his blades like nothing else and keep him from cutting his way out like he does most things. Have you SEEN what thickened cooking oil and waste cosmetics DOES to a blender? Think that but, you know, Hookwolf."
Mush's outer sludge shell seemed to scratch it's own chin (which was food for thought) but seemed to nod almost happily. "Shit, I'd pay to see that."
I snorted.
"Why pay when you can just DO it? Just get Squealer to get a couple of souped up dump trucks ready, suck sewage from the sewer and into the dump bed with some fatburgs while you're at it and just go shit bomb the Nazis. That way if they manage to break your armor apart, you can just reappear in a minute and give them the TRUEST of true nightmares. Fuck, the city would thank you for unclogging the sewage and sticking it to the fucking supremacists at the same time. Sure they'll complain about having to clean up the stench afterwards but..."
I shrugged.
"...you're a villain right? What do you care?"
The sludgy mass straightened up as I pulled out a giant jug of dollar store knock of Listerine and began gargling and hurling into the sewage.
"You know, I really like that idea. Sounds a hell of a lot more fun then fighting you."
"Right? I kick hard."
"Fuck you can say that again. If it wasn't for my armor you'd have broken my ribs three times over."
"I positioned you so that every time I hit you for real, a fatburg or an extra deep channel of sewage could break your fall, dude. Why do you think I spent twenty minutes between every time I hit you ONE time? And waited for you to get back up and ready? We've been here for like, two hours? I'm not trying to kill you. Don't think I didn't hear your try not to laugh your ass off after the first half hour at some of the stupid shit I say for fun. Hell, I was pleasantly surprised that you had a sense of humor! I don't even know why a guy like you works for Skidmark. Dude's a drug addled control freak. You could do better. Aside from the whole trying to drown me in shit thing, you've been alright."
Also I needed to maximize my Entropy Fragment gain, but he doesn't have to know that.
"...Fuck you're not what I expected." Mush said, "I saw that docks video and thought I was gonna be fighting a holier than thou prick."
"Hey, it's called hamming it up. I do have a good sense of justice most of the time. And what people NEED is hope. I'M not the one that tried to muscle in and lord over a failing industry that's just trying to feed their fucking kids. That was Skidmark. But you've humored me with a cartoon-y cat and mouse chase with a decent amount of banter. I give respect where it's due."
"...'Spose that's fair enough. Well, I feel like shitting on some Nazis. And totally claim your disgusting infection scheme and claim it as my brainchild." I gave him a go ahead gesture, "So both of us pretend we never saw each other, yeah?"
"Works for me. Give 'em shit for me."
"That's the plan, chucklefuck. That's the plan."
I watched as the embodiment of the words Excrement Exo-Gelatin lumbered (every step went SQUISH SQUISH and it would have been cute if it wasn't ACTUAL FECES) off deeper into the sewers.
I removed ALL the things that were touching my person into the Pocket Room and dumped them out into the sewage as I swapped into a fresh set of sweats.
I gave myself a sniff.
Ok. I actually don't smell at all. Fuck. Pocket Room is great. Now I just had to wait until I was sure Mush was gone...
"Well it's a good thing I convinced him that different targets are preferable right now." I muttered to myself as I turned around. It had been a good half hour since Mush had decided to literally go shit on some Nazis.
There was a an electrical box that had a bunch of wires for the turbines that kept the sewage flowing down here and it was easy enough to open up.
But under the tangle mess of wires were a series of switches that nobody in their right mind would flick around just in case they fuck up and back up the sewage causing it to spill onto the streets and cause pandemonium.
Which was why they were actually a set of switches that acted as the key to the door of my secret base. Go figure.
I messed with the switches the way my instincts told me to and voila. The mass of wall and fake electrical wires shifted back and slid down to reveal a hallway that led to my hidden base.
Just follow the freedom trail they said.
Join the Railroad they said.
It just works, God Howard said.
The main area was pretty simple, all things considered. A large main room with a bunch of cushy loveseats and couches on a surprisingly plush rug and a BIG TV screen connected to some top line computers (not built for gaming though, sadly).
To the North, a med-bay with actual working hospital level equipment and PLENTY of medical supplies (even a meticulous list of expiration dates and everything was good for 4 years).
The East side had a large metal door with an electric number-pad which had me set up a pass code.
On the other side was a small hallway with two doors. The one at the end led to a soundproofed room that acted as a firing range. Didn't come with any guns, but it had HOLOGRAPHIC PROJECTORS so that you wouldn't have to bother with clean up (sides, you know, bullets and casings) and a slew of pre-programmed challenges. No guns though.
The other door was apparently also soundproofed, but was like, my own personal laundromat. Why the hell there were six washing machines AND driers were beyond me, but it had just SHELVES and shelves of extra linens.
Who the fuck designed this base? What the shit?
Maybe because it was on the side of the entrance hallway, I didn't notice it at first, but there was a kitchen and bar area by the southern entrance.
Nothing in stock but that could be remedied easily enough with a bit of Pocket Room and cash.
Still, the equipment was stuff that belonged at a high end restaurant. Even had a few odd kitchen knickknacks and machines that I suspected were probably tinker-tech.
To the West was a hallway that stretched a fairly long ways. Eight doors, four on each side, and one at the very end, which seemed to be just a large open space the size of half of a football field (HOW THE FUCK?!) with PLENTY of electrical outlets that was probably supposed to be a place to have a tinker lab and double as a garage. Even found a manual that explained how everything in the base worked and the fact that WE HAD A FUCKING BATMAN TUNNEL LEADING OUT TO VARIOUS PARTS OF TOWN.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
I love my job.
My room was one of the eight other doors in the hallway. Room number 8 which was, alongside room number 1, the closest to the center. What? 8 is my favorite number. Don't judge me.
My room was a cozy enough area, nice king sized bed (I'd never slept in one of these. And the thread count was INSANE. Fuck I love my job.), a computer and network station in the corner (this WAS capable of video games though, SWEET!), general workbench, and a giant walk in closet. In the back of that closet was some tinker-tech giant cylindrical device that was unoriginally named Fabricator v3.9. It had plenty of materials loaded into it and it just MADE bodysuits. Even had a easy holographic interface that had a VI that could help redesign patterns and color-schemes to set it up however you wanted.
An hour later I had a rack of Deadpool suits (Earth Aleph didn't have Deadpool. WTF. They have Deathstroke but he never got popular WTF.) with masks that had little bits of machinery to facilitate that effect of making facial expressions through a mask. My eye glow doesn't show through it though no matter how bright I forced it to shine, which was also a plus.
Then came the All Might suits. Honestly, I wasn't sure which designs I wanted to use most. The fucking Fabricator wouldn't make the Silver Age version or the Two Heros version JUST BECAUSE THEY HAD A CAPE ATTACHED (I don't like the Silver Age one enough to wear it, but I WANTED THEM JUST FOR THE COLLECTION DAMMIT!) but the Modern Age version came out just fine. I'd have to Kakashi mask with them pseudo-Deku style, but they'd do the trick for now.
I wasn't sure if I was brave enough to dare do the New Wave bare faced thing in this twisted as fuck world.
I'd put the Heberts in danger and I am NOT ok with that.
Especially since aside from the fact that Danny was the one to bring me to his house, I was the one that made sure to maintain the connection.
Just because I didn't want to see one girl become twisted into the near unfeeling creature that was Khepri.
I sighed as I put away a few sets of each outfit into Pocket Room.
While the Fabricator was doing it's thing, I had checked out the bathroom, and unlike the other rooms, mine was massive. There were separate rooms for a steam bath, a sauna, a fucking japanese cypress bath, a Jacuzzi (because why not, apparently), and a fucking ARTIFICIAL stone-worked hot-spring whose walls and ceiling with some TINKER-TECH BULLSHIT essentially turned the place into a virtual outdoor bath.
It's legit bathroom overkill.
And the toilets have bidets because whoever made this base is a fucking god to me.
Lastly, after I had collected the outfits, I checked out the Supply Line. Funnily enough it was a desktop program on the computer in my room and even had a direct link to TOYBOX. Fucking shit. Computer itself ran with multiple privacy programs and essentially was designed, programmed, fitted, and well, MADE for DarkWeb type access with a bunch of safety precautions. It really NEEDED that shit because Dragon exists.
Still, even though Supply Line made cheap most of the things I wanted for future plans as both Deadpool AND All Might...
"...I need some more cash. This is cheap considering both quantity AND quality, but it's still a hell of a lot of money for a regular person. Plus if I used my stipend for this shit, it would be super obvious. Hmmmmm..."
I do have 10 Fragments right now. Surprisingly, and maybe because the sheer amount of different materials Mush has worked with before, his Shard helped me consolidate 3 fragments (although 1 was already most of the way done anyways). And Surgery is only 7 points...
"On one hand. Dr. Deadpool sounds like so much fucking fun... On the other hand after I do some shady shit with him, would hospitals still let me work? It WOULD be safer to do that as All Might and it really would be good PR. Even better if I take injuries myself. Healing others by taking their pains upon himself! Fuck I'd be a posterboy in a day. I don't know what I'd do if I could help coma patients with Surgery though. If I can, I don't want to risk that on myself. I could just transfer that shit to mice? But I don't want to be murdering animals left and right just to save people. It'd leave a bad taste in my mouth and it could be twisted into some bad publicity by idiots... But if I can help them, I want to help them..."
I sighed as I flopped onto the bed (yes, I had already washed myself even after Pocket Room).
"Time to do a Bing search. Wow. That sounds weird even now. Pft. Bing. HA!"
So comas are usually a result of brain injury and often medically induced for the sake of preventing more major damage from happening. So theoretically, Surgery SHOULD be able to help, but I don't know how it will take for me personally to recover from it.
That and I haven't been subject to brain damage (sans the odd blow to the back of the head from the dock fight) since I 'triggered'. It might be worth it to just grit my teeth and see what happens.
"Fuck it. Deadpool needs gear because I'd prefer to avoid him revealing he has super strength outside of a pinch. I should pick up Blink later for the BAMF teleport belt for the memes. For now let's just get back home and look up the hospitals that Panacea frequents. It'd be good to meet New Wave and get more fragments anyways."
As comfortable as that king size bed is, it's too damn big. It's kinda weird.
Also I'm pretty sure PRT is keeping tags on me, and I dont wanna give off more warning signs than I already do.
The underground roads leading out were big enough that school buses could travel through them comfortably.
I had a remote (1 of 8) that let me access all of the entrances easily and I had a small laugh when I saw that the opening closest to my house was an underground parking lot.
The remote was more of a small tablet and it even scanned the whole parkinglot for activity before it gave an all clear to pass through for vehicles.
For me, I just needed the personnel exit that was just a false back to a employee only supply closet.
Once I got home, I had a little personal time before going to sleep. Fuck you, it's exactly what you think it is.
At least I'm sparing you the details.
The Good Samaritan Hospital of Brockton Bay was about as much as you would expect from a hospital. Large tower that looked like it was made of glass with the fact that everything was a window. Somehow.
You'd think a hospital would have more privacy.
My hair had been styled like All Might's V for Victory haircut (something abut Cosmetic Shapeshift made it super easy to make anime hair. Shit most of the morning was me pretending to be Son fucking Goku), and I was dressed in my All Might suit feeling some high quality cosplay.
God I WISH I could be Dr. Deadpool right now.
I entered the hospital ignoring the hushed whispers and flashing camera phones.
"Excuse me, good citizen. I have a power that can be used to heal, and I was wondering if I could talk to someone about a demonstration... Miss receptionist? My eyes are up here... Miss?"
END
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