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NSFW Good Luck Smiles On The Daring Waifu Catalog SI by ThrowAway675

Misc » Anime X-overs Rated: M, English, Words: 93k+, Favs: 43, Follows: 46, Published: Oct 25, 2023 Updated: Oct 26, 2023

6Chapter 2

y mom had immediately gushed about how pretty Naruko's dress looked when she saw her, and Naruko's pale face flushed as she muttered. "Thank you, Mrs. Nara." Mom laughed for a brief moment, shaking her head.

"Anyone who can get my Shikamaru actually cook for them without being asked is automatically family. You can just call me mom or Yoshino if you feel uncomfortable with that." Naruko looked absolutely floored, and I could almost see the gears in her mind grind to a halt at the inability to input such a request.

"Mom, you go ahead and mingle with Naruko, I know you'll have dozens of questions for her, and Naruko, just be yourself, it's okay. We don't judge here." I said simply, breaking the ice as Naruko looked at me, her face flushing as she nodded, floundering as she really didn't know or what to say in this social situation. Mom's eyes softened as she saw how uncomfortable and lost Naruko looked, gave me a subtle nod before her face turned into a scowl.

"Shikamaru, you forgot to feed the deer again. Please go ahead and take care of that while Naruko and I chat."

I sighed, leaving with a slight smile on my face as Naruko looked terrified of being left alone with my mom as I shrugged. "Chores are such a drag."

Exiting the back, I easily entered the forest and sighed, taking in the smell of the forest.

I had already fed the deer. Mom just wanted to help Naruko get comfortable first, and I appreciated that.

My eyes narrowed.

Well, hello there, Zetsu.

The plant-man was evidently within Konoha, using the Mayfly jutsu to travel through the forests and trees unhindered to spy on the village.

Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly.

My grin darkened as I clasped my hands together.

The Zetsu froze as I appeared in front of them. "Good afternoon, Mr... Ms? Plant entity thing." I said politely with a smile.

"Who are you and what do you want?" The Black Zetsu spoke, cautious and wary.

"No, no, my good plant-man thing! It's what I can do for you!" I said cheerfully. "After all, I may or may not know of an alternate way to bring your mother back to life without having to wrestle the hassle of the nine bijuu." I commented lightly.

"You lie."

"Well, sort of true. You can't bring back the dead, but what isn't truly alive, cannot die. Isn't that right Black Zetsu? After all, you have no corporeal form aside from the one you latch onto. It'd a shame if I somehow made your efforts meaningless by erasing the Shukaku from existence now wouldn't it?" I smiled coldly.

The Zetsu froze. The White one spoke up now. "That's impossible, no one can kill a bijuu." He said aloud, pointing his finger at me.

"The idiot is correct, you cannot kill a Bijuu." The Black one commented lowly, his yellow eye staring at me coldly.

My smile widened.

"True, a regular human cannot kill a bijuu. However, I am not a regular human being either. I am a Jujutsu Sorcerer. See, we specialize in exterminating Cursed Spirits, beings made of negative emotions that can utilize negative energy. Ooh, and guess which beings have been collecting centuries of negative emotions and harboring grudges for humanity? That's right, you and the bijuu. Of course, you don't have to believe me." I trailed off, but my cold grin didn't fade.

"But can you take the risk? After all, if any of the nine bijuu are removed completely from play, then the Gedo Mezo cannot return into the Ten Tails, and then you can't bring back your mother."

"What do you want?" The Black Zetsu spoke lowly.

"A Contract. You both work for me, and I'll bring back your mother, in about five years. Not that you have a choice. I can always utterly erase you from existence. Unlike the shinobi, I am fully capable of removing you from existence. It wouldn't even be a moment's work." I shrugged.

"I don't trust you. However, neither of us can move fast enough to evade you, and you detected us through the Mayfly Jutsu despite us hiding our chakra. We will sign it."

A copy of the contract appeared in my hands as I handed it to them along with some paper. "Oh, and don't bother trying to have only the White one sign it. I'll know." I smiled coldly.

The black one froze, no doubt having considered such an idea, but was caught in the act. Not that it matters.

Two signatures later, and I smiled coldly.

[Black Zetsu. Signed and Sealed Capture. +44

Blessed Talent. -30. 97.

Land Talent. -30. 67.

Performance Talent. -10. 57.

Talent Sharing: -30. 27.

Land Talent.

Performance Talent.

Blessed Talent.

27 Credits Remaining.]

I had extra credits to spend. Land Talent, was for Sage Mode. Performance Talent was to boost any auditory genjutsu, and also cause I'm a sucker for music.

Blessed Talent was for future reasons I'll explain later.

"This power is utterly terrifying." Black Zetsu commented as I hummed, the dreamscape now absolutely filled with dozens, hundreds even, of new proto-minds. The White Zetsu all acted identically because they were effectively a hive mind, a single mind replicated over and over again.

A hive mind under my absolute control.

"Glad we have an understanding. Now, you'll both be my eyes in the shadows, and I have work that needs doing. White Zetsu, absorb some chakra from Yakumo Kurama. She's under my employment, and she will be expecting you. Black Zetsu, you'll be guiding the White Zetsu to different areas of the Elemental Nations. For now, you'll understand why once you've absorbed some of her chakra, and your first requisition target, is Obito Uchiha. Go."

The plant thing vanished into the ground and I clasped my hands, returning back to the Nara forests, smiling all the while as I whistled walking through the forest.

The shadows darkened and the forest became quiet, and I could feel the coldness of the air, the stillness of the forest. The Nara forests held more than simply deer, after all. Our first connections through the shadows hadn't been without an aiding hand.

"Welcome to the Nara Forest, little one. It's been some time." The figure landed on the ground in a crouch, the earth warping and shifting under it for several moments.

Long antlers that grew through the trees unhindered, pale skin warped, stretched thin, and sagging in others. The teeth of a deer given a vicious appearance, and the sunken empty holes where eyes once were.

"Good afternoon, Wendy." I said politely. The Wendigo gave a soft chuckling raspy laugh.

Yeah, I bought Blessed Talent for a reason. Namely: getting along with spirits and Goddesses. Eh, the ones I wanted to get along with, anyway.

"Good afternoon, Shikamaru Nara. Your soul has become much stronger since we last met. Did you wish to strengthen our Pact?"

The Nara Clan's first members were said to be fully capable of warping the shadows in ways we could only dream of now. The ability to kill others, strip them of their shadows, and turn them into silent thralls. The ability to turn even the sun into an endless darkness, changing what it meant between the light and the dark to empower ourselves for a time. Of course, this ability often came at the cost. Our laziness was inherently our nature, and our deeper understanding of the world around us was a part of the nature of shadows. The first Nara literally were unable to leave the forests, their souls bound to the forest, and had been fully capable of facing Hashirama Senju without any threats of his Wood Style.

After all, our forests were a part of us.

Hashirama Senju had formed a new Pact, allowing the Nara Clan to join Konoha by expanding our forests. We had almost the entirety of the Land of Fire as our new territory, and the first Pact weakened throughout the generations as the Nara Clan moved away from using the Wendigo as a source of our abilities once we learned to mimic some of its abilities using our chakra.

The Wendigo cannot be seen by those who have not made a Pact, or by those not descendants of the ones who made a Pact. The Wendigo had long since learned to passively absorb the chakra of those it has a Pact with, and so it no longer had the same starving urges of a natural Wendigo.

Amusingly, I took to calling her Wendy because just saying "Wendigo" was too long and such a drag. The Wendigo laughed, and took to the name, as the name truly didn't change what it was. Merely giving it a more humanoid identity.

Unlike most of the Clan, even my father, who never wandered this far into the Wendigo's territory, I often had no issues doing so. Even as just Shikamaru, the young teen had often enjoyed the Wendigo's company, even teaching them shogi.

After all, as far as Shikamaru was concerned, the worst the Wendigo could do was eat him, which was better than listening to his mother yell at him and make him do chores.

Wendy had a good long laugh at that one, curling in on themselves at the fact that Shikamaru had more fear from his mother than he had to from them.

Such was their bond, that the Wendigo had often given Shikamaru hints on how to fully expand the shadows, whispering ways to make the shadows of others an extension of his own.

"Not yet, Wendy. My soul is strengthened, but not my body. Not yet. Give me a couple years and I'll be more than ready. I wanted to ask your thoughts on my... Pact with Naruko." I worded carefully.

Wendy paused, it's empty gaze seemingly trying to peirce through me, before its mouth widened into a large open mouthed grin.

"The Pact empowers you both, but like any Pact, it empowers you further. The female longs to be owned, to be coveted, and you provide that. Likewise, you lacked purpose. Drive. It made you a weaker shadow, but no longer. Now the shadows of your soul threaten to envelop all worlds, and it is truly enthralling to watch. I have been more entertained in two days than I've been in the past thousand years. That you've bound the weak shadow that called itself Black Zetsu is even more entertaining."

The Wendigo's black tongue, its form barely held by shadow licked its teeth and face.

"When the time comes, when the weak shadow eagerly awaits the return of its creator, feed to me the weak shadow. It's agony, it's despair, it's loss, will be quite delicious. Do this, and I will fully empower you by joining your Pact in full, the same one you've given to the others. And, as incentive, I will briefly reveal to you the parts of myself that I've hidden from the Nara Clan. That few have ever seen with their eyes and lived."

The shadows darkened as the Wendigo's bones cracked, the skin turning purple and the world screamed in protest as a Concept of Reality tore its way fully into reality, it's presence forcing the universe to stand still. For even Time has an end.

The white long hair, and the wide grin held firmly the dagger in its mouth until a hand reached to remove the dagger from its mouth as it spoke. As she spoke.

"Be honored to gaze upon me, and hear my voice, Shikamaru Nara. Gojo Satoru. The Fallen One. The Honored One. He Who Is Broken Yet Whole. I am the Shinigami, the Goddess of Death, and the Patron of the Uzumaki Clan, as well as the Patron of the Nara Clan. You, and you alone, may call me Wendy. Oh, and no need to cut open my stomach to release the soul and a half I swallowed sixteen years ago. They will come to you, and you alone, when you call for them. As thanks for the entertainment."

"It's nice to meet you in person, Wendy." Don't look at her breasts, Nara, don't look at those legs, Nara. Don't look at those horns and imagine using them as handles, Nara.

"I'm amused that you are more concerned over my body that I specifically designed to entice you than you are that I am a Spectre of Death. As it is, I'm impressed your mind hasn't cracked like an egg. Truly astounding. I will be returning to my Wendigo form for now, as while you may be soul resistant and mentally immune, you are at risk of becoming a Wendigo in my presence for too long. You will not see me again until you've brought the weaker shadow to be devoured. Or if I'm in the mood for shogi. One or the other."

The world rapidly returned to color, and I was somewhat relieved that I still looked relatively human.

Well. Huh. New plan: fuck over Zetsu at the end of all of that. I mean, I was planning on doing so anyway, but hey, more incentives!

Naruko wasn't sure how to feel about this.

Yoshino was amazing, don't get her wrong, but she was almost envious, maybe even jealous, of Shikamaru. For all his talks about how much she yelled at him to do his chores, his mother actually cared about him. Worried about him, asked him how his day went, fed him, even once upon a time bathed and dressed him. Something she absolutely got to see pictures of as Yoshino went on about what a cute and absolutely lazy baby he used to be, growing up into a lazy but determined young man, one who was torn between his nature to let things be and his nature to stand up for the things he thought was right.

How she envied this. A family. A home. No doubt she'd have been as annoyed as Shikamaru, hell, sometimes she was still annoyed when Yoshino reprimanded her on her language or on her table manners when she had given Naruko a snack earlier, but she knew deeply that this was what a family was, what a home was. A place where no matter how annoyed people got with each other, they worked things out and kept improving each other, helping each other when they were down, not judging them for the clothes they wore, or the insecurities they had.

Not judging them for the things they couldn't control, like their birth.

Naruko wanted to scream internally. She wanted to roar to the heavens why of all people she had been denied this, how unfair it all was. She wanted to cry, that huge gaping chasm of pain and hurt and loss that she had never felt before being so much more visceral with such a good example of what she could've had right in front of her.

All because her father was the Fourth Hokage. Because, of course, she could intuitively understand, why would the Fourth Hokage ask for someone else's child to go through this if he wasn't willing to give up his own for the same sacrifice? She knew, logically, that it had to be her. There was no other candidate, no other person who could've possibly held the burden on their own.

A part of her wondered if maybe her father's faith was misplaced, because she didn't know how much more of this she could take. Because she could almost feel her sense of self barely holding itself together when Shikamaru had knocked on her door.

She wondered, briefly, if she'd ever tell him that she had been seriously contemplating ending it all. After all, her grandfather, yes, the Third was absolutely her grandfather, even if not by blood, had told her that the Kyubbi would very likely die with her if the seal was intact, and that it was super important to not allow anyone to see the seal without him there, and that she used protection to ensure she couldn't get pregnant.

After 'The Talk', she'd been unable to look at her grandfather for several days. It just felt that mortifying.

She knew she healed fast, but it wasn't all powerful. It had limits. She healed fast, but it was days for the injuries that took others weeks, and she was fairly sure that she was still able to die of blood loss.

After finally getting on a Team, something that her grandfather had always likened to a family, with bonds tighter than anything, she had been so hopeful.

Her hopes got crushed. Nothing changed. Sayuri was as aloof as ever, and Sakura yet again treated her like garbage, and while Kakashi made sure to reprimand them both on treating Naruko as a comrade, all she got was a half-hearted apology and a glare from Sakura like it was her fault that she was constantly berating her for doing 'everything wrong'.

Naruko had decided that if no one in this world wanted her around, then she didn't want to be around either. While most would've contemplated leaving the village, all Naruko could think was how much more crushing it would be if she ever left Konoha's walls only to be treated the same way.

Freak. Monster. Loser. Failure.

While now she was unsure if her plan would've gone through, no doubt her grandfather would've had someone keep an eye on her for her physical well-being, she still felt a deep sense of shame on having considered ending her own life. After all, how many shinobi died in the missions for the village? How many parents never came home? How many sons? How could she selfishly throw her own life away when so many were never even given the choice, their lives cut short by the circumstances of the world they lived in?

Her thoughts broke out of her spiral, as she felt someone's hands gently brush across her cheek. "Naruko, you're crying. What's wrong?" Yoshino asked quietly, her eyes filled with concern and worry.

Naruko tried to hold her emotions together. She'd been pretending everything was okay for years, and she'd like to think she was very good at it.

All of that broke at the gentle touch of a mother's hand, a mother who saw that something was wrong, and Naruko's mask absolutely shattered.

She sobbed as she absolutely collapsed, pain, self-loathing, hatred, agony, festering for over a decade exploding out of her mouth as Naruko just fell apart, wondering why she felt so safe in someone else's arms that wasn't Shikamaru.

She knew she was talking, but she couldn't even control herself long enough to hear what she herself was saying because all she could feel was Yoshino's arms around her, and she knew she'd be mortified later on as she kept apologizing for ruining Yoshino's shirt in between sobs and rambles about how much everything sucked until Shikamaru came along and how scared she was that he'd wake up one day and leave her like everyone else did.

She felt so exhausted by the end of it that she hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep, desperately holding onto Yoshino like a lifeline as Shikamaru gently took her into his arms as she went to grab onto him like her life depended on it while Yoshino stood still, her face impassive as her own tears fell.

Except, Yoshino's tears were not of sorrow. They were of rage.

"Shikamaru. Please inform Naruko Uzumaki that she is no longer allowed to live in that Kami forsaken apartment, and that all of her stuff will be moved immediately into temporary housing with us until the Nara Clan builds a proper private dwelling for her, and likely yourself, as she is not allowed under any circumstances to be left alone. I am going to be speaking to your father as soon as he gets home about these changes, among others that may be needed."

Yoshino paused, her eyes darkening.

"Then, I'm going hunting. The Wendigo will be feeding quite well this year."

The shadows lengthened as Yoshino Nara's face contorted as the room seemed to shake slightly, the shadows collapsing over her form as if to swallow all light in the area before Yoshino left the room silently, her hand twitching as claws of shadows pooled out of her hands with each motion, as if imagining tearing out the throats of the one's who had crossed her path on a very bad day.

For a lot of civilians, it would be their last night in Konoha. For Yoshino, all she'd say was that she liked to go for a walk sometimes in the village at night.

Very enthusiastic walks. She had to stay in shape, after all.

The dreamscape exists as a dimension of it's own accord, and thus, doesn't behold itself to the same laws of reality that govern the rest of the multiverse.

Naruko may have exhausted herself emotionally in the real world, but here, her dreams and her psyche was still absolutely conscious.

"So, yeah. Mom's absolutely livid after all the shit you've been through. You'll be living with us for a bit until a more permanent house on the property is built, and we'll be with you to provide social/mental/physical support as needed or wanted. And, no, this isn't anything to be embarrased about. All shinobi, of all ages, are required by law to be given help if needed, especially if there's a concern for the well-being for the shinobi in question from themselves and others."

Naruko looked ashamed, looking away from me. "I feel so weak, Shika, so pathetic." She whispered. She leaned back against my chest as I hugged her from behind.

"Don't be. In fact, it's actually not that unexpected. Very strong shinobi have struggled with their mental health before. Let me talk to you about a man named Sakumo Hatake. The White Fang."

Naruko's body stiffened in my arms. "Kakashi?" She muttered.

"Kakashi's father. A man said to be a rival to the three Sannin, three students raised by the Third Hokage himself that all became S-ranks in their own rights. A very important mission went south, and through circumstances not of his own making, Sakumo had to make a decision. His team mates lives, or the mission's success." Naruko gasped quietly.

"He chose his team. He failed the mission, but brought them back home alive." Naruko nodded.

"That's good, right? I mean, at least his fa-team will be okay."

"Naruko, the mission that went south was so critical that it's failure would create the Third Shinobi War. The populace of Konoha blamed him and ostracized him, so much so that his own team mates called him a disgrace for having the gall to choose them over the mission."

"No! That's an impossible choice to make! It's not fair!" Naruko said in dismay, horror in her voice.

"Sakumo Hatake took his own life, and from the age of... I'd say 6, Kakashi Hatake was the first to see his father's cooling corpse. From the age of 6, Kakashi Hatake vowed to put the mission first so that way he could 'fix' his father's disgrace. It's not his fault: he was grieving, and a part of him blamed his father for abandoning him. However, when Kakashi had recently become a Jonin in his own right, during the Third Shinobi War, a mission went south."

Naruko was holding her breath, a sense of dread filling the space.

"Kakashi initially chose the mission, but a team mate of his chose to go back to save the other. Obito Uchiha chose the team over his mission, and he told Kakashi 'It's true, those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.' Kakashi finally realized what his father had chosen to do, why he had done it, and so he took after Obito, who had left to save Rin."

"They saved Rin, but Obito died pushing Kakashi out of the way of the cave ceiling collapsing in on itself. Obito, a Genin, saved Kakashi Hatake's life, and as he was dying, gave Kakashi the Sharingan that had not been crushed, because he'd been born a Uchiha, an Uchiha that had been considered a failure for not being as talented as the rest of his family. The mission was technically a success, but only Kakashi made it out alive. I'm not sure what happened to Rin, but the reports were that she had been compromised by Kirigakure, and so had chosen to kill herself at the last second in order to save Konoha."

Naruko spun around and threw herself at me, tears soaking my shirt as she cried. "That's not fair! That's horrible."

I gently tilted her chin back up at me, a small sad smile on my face as I continued.

"Kakashi Hatake became an S-rank Shinobi himself, the 'Copy Cat Ninja'. He lobbied hard for a new Law to be instated that ensured the mental/physical/emotional well being of all shinobi, regardless of rank, to ensure that what happened to his father, and what he had been terrified he was considering choosing to do himself in that same house, would never happen again. The Law was passed, and it's said that Danzo, one of the elders of the village, had nearly gotten himself killed when he'd tried to veto the Law as an Elder. I dare say that the Third Hokage was the only reason Danzo hadn't gotten brutally murdered that day. This is the Law that allows us the ability, and the responsibility, to help you. The Sakumo Hatake Act requires that we don't allow the shinobi in question alone for the next six months, and that we endeavor to ensure you feel safe and cared for at home, whatever that requires to make that happen. It's not a perfect system, and. it's been considered 'too little too late' by many after what Itsuki did with the Uchiha Clan, but it's a far cry from the absolutely nothing that most had to work with."

Naruko nodded shyly, her face flushing as she gently, slowly, cautiously, went to kiss me for a moment before whispering. "Thank you, Shika. For telling me."

"Any time. Since you'll definitely be spending the night, I'm going to talk to you about why the Yamanaka Clan, the Nara Clan, and the Akimichi Clan have always been considered a pseudo-Clan unto themselves. That way you'll know why you'll probably be meeting a mind healer Yamanaka and an Akimichi Specialist."

Naruko looked worried and curious at the same time.

"The Nara Clan, my Clan, are the shadows, the spiritual leaders of the Clan. Our intelligence helps us make the right decisions, but it's our intuitive wisdom that helps us survive the guilt that accompanies those hard choices. We operate best when we know ourselves and our opponents completely, and while now we do this to help Konoha, we still primarily help the Yamanaka Clan and the Akimichi Clan when they often struggle in the decision making process on what or how to do what they want to achieve without compromising their morals."

"The Yamanaka Clan, Ino's Clan, are the mind whisperers, the psycho-analysts of the Clan. They are our eyes and ears outside of the territory of the Land of Fire, and they specialize in gathering information that the others wouldn't want us or them to know. If we are the intelligence of the operation, the Yamanaka is the intel that provides to us the resources and scenarios we can use our intelligence on. As a result, the Yamanaka Clan has a hard rule: no one is allowed to be solely in the dark alone or for long. You can't just stay an interrogator, and you can't just stay a therapist, and above all else, they are not allowed to use the Hidden Jutsu if they feel mentally unstable or emotionally compromised. It's a hard law that often means they can't be Hokage, but it's a law designed to keep their members from harming themselves or each other. It's why Ino only knows the Mind Transfer Jutsu: it's one of the only Jutsu in the Yamanaka Clan that, in theory, offers little to no personality bleed from the target to the user."

"The Akimichi Clan, Choji's Clan, are the physicians, the war doctors, of the Clan. They defend us from those seeking us or the Yamanaka physical harm, and though many people underestimate the Akimichi, the Akimichi Clan are absolutely masters of chemical and biological warfare, as well as knowing how to both amplify and break the body in ways that regular shinobi could only dream of. Their amplification has become so intuitive that where they used to need certain pills to use their jutsu, some have been able to do so simply with knowing that they can, a Hidden Jutsu turned into a Bloodline Limit. Likewise, there is a reason why the Hyuga Clan has never fought an Akimichi: they will lose. Badly, at that. An Akimichi's chakra network is not only vastly different from a normal shinobi, but an Akimichi's chakra network has redundancies built into it, and Kami help the Hyuga who tries to kill an Akimichi, since the Akimichi Clan are said to be able to heal and restart their own organs with training. An Akimichi that reaches Jonin is said to be virtually unstoppable against waves of regular shinobi."

"Since the beginning, we've worked together to form a cohesive whole. The Nara Clan's ruled the forests of Konoha long before Hashirama arrived. The Yamanaka Clan inspected travelers and spies entering the domains of our territory, and allowed us to consider the required decisions. The Akimichi helped us keep everyone alive, and to be physically fit, as well as investigating new methods on how to refine our bodies to handle our abilities as we grew into them. The Yamanaka Clan's Mind Healer will not be allowed to speak to anyone about how the mind sessions are going, and full patient confidentiality is required. You will have your choice to choose which Mind Healer you wish to have, after a few therapy sessions to find the right fit for you. The Akimichi will be taking samples of your blood as well as digging through your medical records to ensure the proper care is given to bring you back to peak health for your age, and if not even better if they think that they can get away with it."

I paused, smiling softly as I kissed Naruko's forehead.

"And my Clan and I will be monitoring your spiritual health. We'll be taking you out on walks through the Nara Forest, well, the more public areas, letting you feed the deer, spend time with some of the more relaxed members of the Clan, and encourage you to spend time with friends as well. So I imagine we'll be stopping by Ichiraku Ramen at least once. We will also be the ones inspecting the mindscape that connects you to your bijuu, ensuring that the Kyuubi isn't trying to degrade the seal using your own negative thoughts to trick you into releasing it. We can't do anything about the seal, but we can ensure that the mindscape isn't being warped against you in favor of the beast you carry."

Naruko sniffed, her eyes filling with tears. "Why? Why help me? Why do all of you care?"

Why do you care so much about me? I'm broken.

"Naruko, we are all broken in some way. It's the lifestyle of the shinobi, of the world we currently live in. We're all broken. Some of us in more ways than others. Of course we care, of course I care, how could we not? The shadows crave the light. You are my sun, the light that makes my life worth living. Now that I have you, I'm not letting you go. I'm afraid you're stuck with me. Oh, the tragedy." I said dryly at the end.

Naruko's tears vanished as she giggled lightly, her face flushed.

"Man, Shika, you're so troublesome. What a drag it is to be stuck with you." She giggled as I pretended to back away, hurt, clutching my chest as I mockingly gasped in pain.

"You dare use my words against me?! You dare to use that of which is mine?"

"All's fair in love and war." She stuck out her tongue at me.

The silliness of the situation was too much, and we just started laughing at how silly all of this was.

"Thank you, Shikamaru." Naruko said sincerely, hugging me again. "I love you."

I hugged her back. "Any time, Naruko. It's a privilege to help you, and don't you forget it." I smiled as we cuddled in the dreamscape.

Kakashi had done a lot of shit he wasn't proud of. He's fucked up a lot in his career.

One thing he was proud of was the Sakumo Hatake Act. The Law passed in his father's name to ensure no shinobi would ever be tempted to take his or her own life ever again without at least some support network to ensure that they could at least say they tried to stop it.

He was not pleased to find out one of his students on Team 7 had been found to have required the Sakumo Hatake Act to be used, but his initial assumption was that it was Sayuri who had done it.

After all, one of the basic principles of the Sakumo Hatake Act was that the shinobi in question had to verbally admit that they were or could be a danger to themselves. You had to verbally ask for help and support in front of a Jonin or higher in order for the Act to apply.

That part was intentionally placed to ensure that some of the more politically inclined civilians, i.e. the technically retired Elders, or shinobi didn't get the idea to just imprison the opposition by calling their mental state into question.

Also because Kakashi had not been pleased when he had been put under constant watch without his own consent beforehand, back when Minato-sensei had decided he wasn't allowed to be by himself.

He wasn't wrong, but it would've been nice to at least not feel trapped in his sensei's home.

It was not Sayuri. It was Naruko who had requested help. In tears and desperately scared, according to the filed report given by Yoshino Nara to the Third Hokage who gave him a copy of the report.

Which is what led to what Kakashi was doing now.

"Why aren't we doing missions today, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked with some confusion. Her green eyes looked rather lost. Kakashi had to withhold the urge to strangle the teen.

Teenagers can be cruel, Kakashi. God knows I was a fucking asshole as a teen. How Minato was still patient with me, I have no idea. Deep breaths Kakashi. Don't breath out fire chakra and make the pink haired moron a baldy, Kakashi. Even if she deserves it.

"Neither of you are allowed to call me sensei. In fact, I'm debating dissolving this 'Team' entirely and sentencing both of you for permanent remedial training until you both would consider yourselves lucky to be Genin at the age of fifty."

Sakura and Sayuri's eyes both widened in alarm. "Hey, you can't-" Sakura's yell cut off as their faces paled.

After briefly wondering why they looked ready to keel over, Kakashi realized he might have been leaking his killing intent toward the two. He reigned it in and spoke, his voice cold.

"As the Jonin of Team 7, you three are not just Genin for training. You three are under constant evaluation, with every minute I'm with you having me consider the pros and cons of your skills, your character, and what detriments you bring to the table."

"In short, it's my reports that decide if you are ready to learn jutsu. It's my reports that decide if you are ready to earn the right for promotions. It's my reports that decide if you are worthy of being shinobi at all. So do NOT tell me what I can or cannot do, Ms. Haruno."

Sakura shakily nodded and Sayuri remained defensive, her red eyes narrowing at me.

Oh, how cute. Someone thinks she's special cause she has the Sharingan now.

"Continue to glare at me with your Sharingan and I will tear out your eyes here and now, Sayuri Uchiha."

Sayuri's face paled as she immediately looked away. "Sorry... Kakashi." She muttered.

"Now, I believe that the best way to force you both to grow up is to see and feel the consequences of your actions. Which is why for the next three weeks, you both will be taking shifts pretending to be Naruko Uzumaki so thoroughly that even your friends will believe you are her. I will be observing you both around the clock, and I will immediately dissolve this team if I think you both aren't taking this assignment seriously."

Sakura snorted. "Big deal, so I get to avoid dealing with my parents whining about the chores I haven't been doing at home. This'll be easy."

Sayuri stiffened, her head immediately snapping to yell obscenities at Sakura for how absolutely cruel she had acted just then but Kakashi raised a hand to silence Sayuri.

"If you can say that to Naruko's face after three weeks, I will allow you to remain a Genin. If. And if not, you'll be making it up to Naruko and Sayuri for that absolutely disgraceful remark." Kakashi coldly stated.

Sakura's face paled as she immediately looked to Sayuri, her apology dying before she could speak as Sayuri looked ready to kill her, squeezing her eyes shut to avoid using the Sharingan on Kakashi by accident.

"Sayuri, I have a secondary assignment for you, if you wish to stay as a shinobi. Not a part of Team 7, just to be a shinobi at all. If you don't do this, I will file to have your chakra network permanently sealed off."

Sayuri's face drained of all color. Sheer utter terror was visible.

"You will be going to see a Yamanaka Mind Healer. Not a therapist. Mind Healers are different entirely. I know that the Third Hokage allowed you to decline treatment and therapy out of respect to let you grieve over the loss of the Clan, but you've lost that right when you have done something your sister would've been proud of you to do." Kakashi said coldly.

Sayuri's black eyes flared angrily, but thankfully without the Sharingan as she protested furiously. "I didn't kill anyone!"

"Naruko Uzumaki has been admitted for nearly committing suicide for, and I quote, "if no one else in this village wants me here, than I don't want to be here either.""

Kakashi paused, his voice nearly choking as he read that out loud.

Sakura and Sayuri looked horrified at that knowledge. Kakashi glared at the two of them.

"You have no idea. None. About how tough Naruko has had it. How ostracized and lonely it feels to not only be neglected, but hated, feared, by the village, and the people you grew up with. Despised and considered less than dirt. But you will. You both will. Sakura, you're taking Mondays, Wednesdays, Saturdays, and Sunday. Sayuri, you're taking Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Three weeks in Naruko's old apartment, and neither of you will tell or show anyone what's going on or where you are. If anyone else finds out you're not Naruko, you fail. If anyone else finds out that Naruko isn't in the apartment when she's supposed to be, you fail. If anyone spots the two of you as Naruko, it's fine as long as it doesn't blow your cover, as Naruko knows the Shadow Clone Jutsu."

"Sakura, you've been checked in for a quarantine due to a super contagious medical illness. I'm thinking something embarrassing like constant diarrhea and super bad acne all over your body, and I mean all over your body. Sayuri, you got whatever Sakura had and are quarantined at the Uchiha Compound. Again, anyone finds out either of these aren't true, you fail."

"Failure is dissolvement of the team, and your immediate and permanent dismissal from the Konoha Ninja System. With a permanent black mark on your record for all civilians to see and permanent sealing of your chakra network. Oh, and I suppose the removal of your eyes, Sayuri, since the Sharingan is useless without chakra. Now, the assignment begins tomorrow at midnight. Now, get out of my sight."

The two ran like a bat out of hell.

Kakashi sighed, nodding to himself. He felt a little better now. If he was lucky, then he'd be able to have Naruko as an apprentice in three weeks.

If he was unlucky, he could at least make sure neither one of these maggots ever treat Naruko like shit ever again.

Now to create a Shadow Clone to follow them silently while he read the newest edition of Icha Icha.

Today might actually be a good day, he mused.

[Kurenai Yuhi. Signed and Sealed Capture. +22.

Hinata Hyuga. Signed and Sealed Capture. +22.

Kiba Inuzuka. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

Shino Aburame. Signed and Sealed Capture. +24.

Sasuke [Sayuri] Uchiha. Stamped. +30.

Obito Uchiha. Signed and Sealed Capture. +40.

Kakashi Hatake. Signed and Sealed Capture. +30.

Anko Mitarashi. Signed and Sealed Capture. +16.

Inoichi Yamanaka. Signed and Sealed Capture. +16.

Iruka Umino. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

Ebisu. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

Kotetsu Hagane. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

Izumo Kamizuki. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

Muta Aburame. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

Kosuke Maruboshi. Signed and Sealed Capture. +12.

311 Credits Remaining.]

The first week had been annoying, to be frank. Naruko Uzumaki couldn't be allowed to be alone, but likewise, she couldn't just stay with me. The concerns of an unhealthy emotional attachment to the 'savior' in a relationship was too great, according to the Yamanaka Clan, who advised that while Naruko was allowed to interact with me, it was also for the best she get interactions with others of her own age group if possible to avoid an over-reliance/worship of me over the rest.

At least, that was the official reason. Unofficially, it was because Naruko Uzumaki was deemed too much of a flight risk if she was left to develop relationships with only one person her age, and more importantly, one person her age who has shown little to no inclination to give a shit about if Konoha was hit by a meteorite tomorrow. To be fair, I really couldn't give a damn as long as my retinue, my Clan, Ichiraku Ramen, and Naruko survived. The rest of this place? Nah, let it burn.

Of course, that didn't work because of the dreamscape, which worked wonderfully as Naruko herself wasn't pleased at all to be stuck dealing with people she didn't know, especially after how emotionally raw and vulnerable she felt after having admitted so much to a stranger, even if said stranger happened to be my mom.

That didn't mean Naruko herself didn't understand. She knew that it was unhealthy to hyper-fixate on one person, even if it was the person who saved her life, mentally and emotionally. She just didn't care: it wasn't like the Yamanaka had gone to check in on her when she had been effectively trying to manage her trauma alone.

The Yamanaka therapist had looked ashamed when Naruko had mentioned this, pointing out that for the so called 'mindwalkers', she had been effectively left to die. Which, as it turns out, was because the Yamanaka Clan had a standing rule: do not mindwalk a Jinchurriki. Best case, you piss the human off and they throw you out of their mind. Worse case, you've given the beast an opening to exploit to free itself or cause absolute destruction.

That didn't make them feel any better when Naruko had torn them all a new one for thinking that they could just treat her like any other patient, and not recognize that she had some serious grievances with nearly everyone in the village. Because for all the shit the civilians had done, they didn't live in a bubble. The shinobi had to have been aware of at least something going wrong. They just pretended everything was fine because it wasn't them being fucked over.

Yeah, that therapist really didn't last long after that, what with seeing Naruko's red eyes glaring at her like she was ready to tear their head off their shoulders.

So, the next therapist came in, and tried a different approach. A blunt approach.

"Naruko, you don't like me. That's fine. Many patients wouldn't like us even if they came to us for help. Because therapy, despite what many people believe, can suck like hell. We're not here to make you happy. We're here to make you mentally healthy. We're here so that way when the time comes for Shikamaru Nara to step into your mindscape, the bijuu can't use your deeply bottled negative emotions to drown the two of you until you both emerge as twisted versions of yourselves."

Naruko's eyes widened at that. "Oh." She whispered, her fists relaxing as she looked rocked by that information.

"You respond best to bluntness. You don't want to be treated with kiddie gloves. I can work with that. Hell, I can respect that. The same stubbornness is what allowed you to survive your experiences. It might even be the only reason you're in the room with us today. So, I'm not going to pretending you're made of glass. I'm going to treat you the way I wish I was treated in my therapy sessions, because I wanted to be respected as individual, not belittled. Not lied to. Not babied. If you think you want that approach, you need to work with me. Even if it sucks. Even if it hurts. Does that sound fair to you?" The man said bluntly.

Naruko nodded slowly. "Yeah, but only if it's reasonable. I'm not signing myself up for torture or... needles." Naruko shivered. She hated needles.

The man snorted. "Good luck telling the Akimichi that once they get ahold of you. Let's start from the beginning. I'm Kabuto Yakushi. I'm a medic-in-training, a Genin, a recently fully licensed therapist. I'm told I'm quite good at mirroring people, even if that's more of a defense mechanism than I'd like to admit. Your turn."

"I'm Naruko Uzumaki. I'm a Genin, a Hokage-in-training. I'm told I'm quite good at being stubborn when I'm unhappy in a situation I don't want to be in." Naruko said dryly, with a small grin on her lips.

Kabuto laughed. "It's a start. You'll be surprised how often it is that we shinobi develop sarcastic or dark humor in order to cope with the situations we find ourselves in. Now, I will start this session with a question."

Kabuto paused for a moment, before speaking, his voice solemn and serious.

"What do you think your father would do if he found out what you went through because of being a Jinchurriki? What do you think your mother would do?"

Naruko's breath caught, her voice cutting off as a mixture of shock and alarm flooded her system. After several seconds, she spoke quietly.

"My father would tell me that, even though he was disappointed in the village, he was proud of me for still standing for the village and for becoming a shinobi anyway. He'd tell me to have faith that things get better. Same with my mom, I guess." She answered honestly.

Kabuto took off his glasses, rubbing his nose as his eyes clenched. Naruko felt her stomach drop at the sight, since the Third Hokage always did the same when she had done or said something particularly stupid.

"No." Kabuto said simply, putting back on his glasses as he shook his head before looking at her.

"Your parents, firstly, would've taken you away from Konoha. Immediately. The second thing they'd have done is start a massacre. Konoha would be a ghost town." Kabuto informed her bluntly, and Naruko felt almost an intense confusion.

"Why?" She asked him, baffled.

"Naruko. I want you to imagine, even though it might be hard or impossible, to have just found out that you're pregnant. You're having a baby, with the man you love." Kabuto said quietly.

Joy. Terror. Excitement. Dread.

Naruko couldn't even speak, her hand going to her stomach as she imagined what it would be like to be pregnant. She'd heard from afar how some women complained about the back pain or the struggle of sleeping. Yet they always looked... happy, content, eager to see their child born.

"Now imagine that it's sixteen years later. You've been in a coma. The last thing you remember was the feeling of just holding your baby in your arms. You're desperately searching for your baby, even if you know that they are no longer a baby anymore. Imagine everything you went through, and imagine it happening to your daughter, and hearing those words come out of your daughter's mouth."

Naruko knew, in the back of her mind, that Kabuto was waiting for a response. All she could hear was the blood rushing through her ears, the white-hot heat of absolute visceral rage and agony that coursed through her veins as Naruko wanted to tear down the entire village brick by brick, until absolutely nothing remained. Not the mountain. Not the walls. Every building, ashes. Every person who had done her baby wrong, absolutely slaughtered.

"I can do it, you know. I can avenge your suffering. It wouldn't even be all that difficult. I'll leave the Nara Clan alone. I'll only kill the ones who wronged you. Just free me. Tear off the seal, Naruko." The Kyuubi whispered in her ear as she felt herself reaching out to tear down the seal, tears falling from her face as she wanted to make them all pay. She knew Shikamaru would understand.

"Naruko. Stop, and step away from the seal. Deep breaths, and calm down. You're safe."

Naruko stepped away from the seal, taking deep breaths as she felt the rage slowly, achingly, drain away.

"You... What are you?" The Kyuubi demanded, his deep voice booming off of the walls and the water.

The man stepped forward in front of Naruko, and she felt her breath taken away as the man had turned toward her.

Spoiler: the man she sees

"Hey, Naruko, I figured you'd need the help since the Kyuubi is being so troublesome." The man said dryly, winking at her.

Recognition flooded her in an instant.

"Shika! You look so different!"

"This is my spiritual form. Despite being Shikamaru out there, this is who I am spiritually. Mostly. Might change as I get older. That said, I'm just going to have a chat with the Kyuubi."

"You may be a descendant of one who made a Pact with the Wendigo, but that is nothing compared to the power of a Bijuu. I do not negotiate with weaklings." The Kyuubi snarled.

Shikamaru laughed, even his voice sounded different in here, and then he seemed to vanish.

Her eyes widened in shock and fear as Shikamaru appeared behind the jail doors.

"Phase, Twilight. The Eyes of Prajna. Cursed Technique: Lapse Blue."

A massive blue orb appeared above the Kyuubi, whose eyes widened in shock as the entire room began to shake violently as the large bijuu was forced into the air, roaring in pain and fury as it was violently dragged into the blue sphere.

The Kyuubi's tails began to draw together, red and blue energy collecting around in front of it as the Kyuubi snarled.

"Your arrogance blinds you! Witness the might of the Kyuubi, and be erased!"

The energy collected into a purple orb that the Kyuubi swallowed, before Naruko's skin tingled as the sheer danger rose so rapidly that Naruko opened her mouth to scream at Shikamaru to get out of there!

Shikamaru's smile widened as he held his two fingers up toward the Kyuubi, whose eyes gazed hatefully, only to widen in, what Naruko could only interpret as fear, as Shikamaru spoke.

"Phase, Paramita. Pillars of Light. Cursed Technique: Reversal Red."

The Kyuubi's mouth opened, the purple ball launching so fast that Naruko could only see a blur as it flew right down toward Shikamaru.

Only for the purple ball to be caught by a much, much, smaller red orb. The red orb drilled through the purple orb, seemingly getting stronger as Shikamaru's smile widened.

"What jutsu is this?!" The Kyuubi roared as the red orb smashed into the blue orb that was still holding the Kyuubi in place.

"Nine Ropes. Polarized Light. Crow and Declaration. Between Front and Back. Hollow. Purple."

The world exploded as the area shook so badly, the water under Naruko's feet violently vanishing as a flash of white erupted, halted only at the jail doors as the seal itself seemed to flare to life to contain the energy on the other side of the jail door.

As the white faded, Shikamaru stood unharmed, the energy seemingly having washed right off of himself.

The Kyuubi was brutally injured, five of it's tails were gone, and it looked barely conscious, with red energy gushing out of various openings in it's body and it's right eye gone, the red energy pooling out of it like blood. It's single intact eye gazed at Shikamaru.

"No. more. I submit. If I hadn't forced most of the bijuudama's energy around myself at the last instant as the jutsu drilled through it, I'd have been erased. You win." The Kyuubi's voice was no longer loudly echoing across the room, now it almost seemed to hunch in on itself away from Shikamaru.

"Sign the Contract, and I'll consider letting you live. If I kill you, all that remains is the purified chakra. Purified chakra without a consciousness that Naruko could use whenever she wants." Shikamaru said bluntly.

Naruko winced as she saw the brief defiance in the Kyuubi at the audacity of a lowly human attempting to force a contract on it, but it gave in with a whimper, a large hand with barely two fingers left reaching down as it signed the contract Shikamaru had somehow brought into the mindscape.

Shikamaru sighed, turning and leaving the broken Kyuubi behind in it's jail cell as Shikamaru once again passed through the bars, unimpeded.

A snap of his fingers, and the Kyuubi seemed to be almost twice as big as before, the Kyuubi having regained all of it's lost tails and it's fur seemed brighter and cleaner. The Kyuubi looked unnerved.

"What kind of Power is this? What are you?"

Shikamaru turned toward the Kyuubi, a grin on his face.

"Outside these walls, the world sees me as Shikamaru Nara. To you and those more spiritually inclined, you may refer to me as Gojo Satoru. The Honored One. I'll see you at home, Naruko, once these next few sessions end."

Naruko nodded, her face flushed as she whispered as Shikamaru left.

"He's so awesome, and hot."

The Kyuubi seemed to pout at her. "I'm awesome too." It grumbled as it turned away from her.

"Are you sulking?! Why?!" Naruko asked exasperatedly.

"No. I'm not. Go away. I just lost to a human. Again! My siblings will be laughing at me for centuries!" The Kyuubi grumbled.

Naruko found herself blinking awake to the Third Hokage looking at her with some exasperation of his own.

"Can we go through one therapy session without making my Jonin think they're about to meet Kami? Please?" He asked her.

Her face flushed as she looked away, not able to look her grandfather in the eye. "Sorry."

Emotions are hard, okay?!

[Kurama. The Kyuubi. +64.

375 Credits Remaining.]

That's... a lot of Credits.

[Trace Defense II. -10.

Corruption Defense II. -60.

Environmental Defense II. -20.

Destiny Defense II. -80.

Creature Defense I-II. -0.

Exit Stage Left. -5.

We Will Meet Again. -15.

Pursued By A Bear. -40.

145 Credits Remaining.]

Honestly, pretty well worth the investments.

Trace Defense was worth the purchase. Hostile and neutral remote viewing, scrying, postcognition, precognition, dream visitation, astral projection, will be unable to see or sense me. At the immunity level, deity-like entities would only see a reality where I didn't exist. This doesn't apply to cameras, technological based surveillance, or some other physical method based observation.

Corruption Defense II should plug up that weakness where Naruko had been getting corrupted by Kurama whispering into her ear, though that was no longer an issue regardless.

Environmental Defense covered one of the few weak points of both my abilities as Gojo Satoru and Accelerator, namely being the environment around us. Now I could go diving into the sun and swim through space, without burning or suffocating at least.

Destiny Defense was future-proofing myself from any luck-based Deities out there trying to mess with me once I got passed Naruko's world.

Creature Defense was partially to plug up the hole I had against creatures like snakes or animals in general, but also cause it was free.

Exit Stage Left basically allowed me to track my progress on what it took to consider 'completing' the storyline of Naruto, to be able to leave, by creating a portal to another world once it was fully filled out.

We Will Meet Again allowed me to return to any past world's I had visited, through the Portal Apartment. Time runs consecutively across all worlds I visit or will visit simultaneously, meaning I couldn't just skip onto a new world and come back fifteen years later and expect everything to be the same.

Pursued By A Bear greatly expands the exit capabilities of Exit Stage Left. Instead of just the one world, I get seven worlds to choose from, with their danger ratings clearly displayed. In addition to choosing a world, I can reject or save a world for later on. Rejected worlds will not appear for the next selection, and the saved worlds will continue to appear until chosen. Choices that I don't pick, save, or reject may appear for up to three times in a row, and then disappear for a time before reappearing down the line. Rejected worlds will never reappear unless taken off the 'rejected' list in the app.

Now, what to do with the rest of my Credits..

"Hey Wendy, should I invest into more versatility/utility or should I go more toward making myself able to be in your presence?" I asked aloud in the forest.

"In truth, there is little you can do to withstand my presence. The durability of your soul, body, and mind may be greatly enhanced or even amplified, but against Death, all such amplifications stand for nothing. Even the Gods die, even the stars wink out one by one, and I have seen entire universes slowly go cold and stale. The strengthening of your base self won't help you. What you need is to gain my full allegiance, which you already know the task required to do so. Many who have sought immortality are often Chained by it, for the few who succeed in their task when I allow it. It amuses me, how so many mortals eventually long and beg for death after centuries of fleeing from it."

"So... I shouldn't make myself able to shrug off instant death effects?" I asked cautiously.

"Absolutely, you should. While those who sought immortality will regret their decision, the foolish ones who rush head first into danger or overconfidence in themselves will, and have, throw themselves into my eternal embrace far sooner. For all that mortals talk of Fate and Destiny, very few realize that All must bow to Death. For all things end. It is the nature of things."

[Fatality Defense II. -60.

85 Credits Remaining.]

I almost jumped as I felt something cold brush itself against my neck, but I didn't notice anything physically touching me.

"It's been eons since I've had a potential Mortal Lover. Often, they end up becoming Necromancers, believing themselves above Death. Or they become driven mad, their soul unable to withstand the constant brushes with the Eternity After. Truly, it'll be a Joining of a Concepts, you and I. Especially since you'll be giving me dinner and dessert when the time comes."

The sound of her licking her lips as she growled in my ear, despite the fact that I once again saw nothing there physically with my Six Eyes, didn't help me stay calm.

"Is that a kunai in your pants, or are you just as excited as I am, Shika-ma-ru?"

"That was too corny." I said dryly.

"You do know that I can sense how much you like my bad flirting, right? You can't lie to me."

"I'm not honoring your horrible flirting with a positive statement. I... fine." I sighed.

"Tell me, did the devil pay you to leave Hell? Cause you're almost too hot for me."

"And you thought my flirting was bad? Pfft. HA! You could've said I'm drop dead gorgeous! That was awful!"

"At least my humor isn't to die for." I sarcastically replied.

"... Okay, you should leave the forest now. All this talk about death and hell is making me hungry, and I have some hunting left to do. Making these humans run around for days or even weeks, not realizing they can never leave, desperate to survive, only to watch me tear off a rib or two off of one of their still living counterparts, maybe a finger, and watch them scream in terror or beg for mercy is always delicious. The fear, sweat, terror, and agony makes some excellent seasoning to go with their meat and souls."

Leaving the forest right now then. I winced as I heard the distant sound of a man screaming. "My leg! Oh, Kami, my leg! No! Not the face, not the face!"

"Ah, it's a shame that their brains are all practically worthless. Hatred makes a terrible seasoning you know? Too bitter."

Leaving the forest faster!

Sakura Haruno could safely say that being Naruko Uzumaki sucked. Absolutely fucking sucked.

The first couple days weren't that bad. Having to hold the Transformation to pretend to be Naruko was still exhausting to do for longer than a couple hours, so she mostly went for grocery runs.

Except she didn't realize just how expensive everything was. Getting fresh fruits and vegetables was a nightmare! No wonder Naruko stuck with ramen! It was annoying as hell!

The cold shoulders, the lack of smiles, the feeling of being unwelcome, didn't really sink in back then, because as far as Sakura was concerned, Naruko had earned her reputation. Being such a prankster and an annoyance to everyone around you? Of course they wouldn't want anything to do with you!

Then, it began to sink in when Sayuri took one look at her fruits and vegetables before throwing it in the garbage. That, that hurt. She might have nearly tried to punch Sayuri for wasting so much money, until Sayuri looked her dead in the face and explained that the fruits and vegetables were not edible.

To demonstrate, she sliced open one of the tomatoes, revealing the rotting insides alongside what looked like a fake shell around it.

Sakura's stomach dropped at the sight.

Naruko was a menace, a prankster, a loser, but... did Naruko really deserve to be treated like this? Was Naruko really so bad that they'd tried to kill her?

That's when the cold glares and hateful remarks in the background really began to kick in. Or the fact that the apartment, whenever they left it pretending to be Naruko, would be devastated when they returned from pretending to both be Naruko going in different directions.

Or the fact that the hot water never worked, and the cold water was smelling funky and moldy, like something had died in there. Sayuri had nearly had a fit when she came out of the shower looking ready to murder whoever fucked up her shower system, and forget drinking the water out of the tap!

Sakura felt herself getting nauseous at the sight of Sayuri opening up the tap water only for it to be red in color, and had nowhere the consistency of regular water either. It slopped out of the faucet like a gel, and the smell was horrifying. Like vomit mixed with raw chicken left to rot out in the dumpster in the Suna desert. For months.

Sayuri seemed to stare at the faucet and the cup she'd used, looked at Sakura, back at the faucet for a long moment. Silent.

"I'm going to fucking kill the owners of this complex." Sayuri said coldly, and Sakura didn't even offer a defense toward the civilians. Not anymore.

The nights weren't any better. Sayuri had woken up nearly setting the apartment on fire with her fireball jutsu, and Sakura had likewise wanted to scream, cry, and vomit.

Bed bugs. Bed bugs everywhere. The insects seemed to come out in droves at night, and the two of them were absolutely covered in bite marks as the bed bugs seemed to love the taste of blood.

Cockroaches too. Sayuri had been trying to heat up instant ramen, and could hear the sounds of something cracking in the microwave. She opened the microwave to see what looked like a lot of dead cockroaches in her now definitely not edible instant ramen.

Needless to say, neither one of them bothered trying to use the oven, with Sayuri joking darkly that the oven was probably rigged to blow up if they used it anyway.

After the first few days, Sakura was finally able to be Naruko outside in full time, and that was an experience, to put it lightly.

The glares and cold shoulders from the civilians was one thing, but the absolute dismissal of her fellow shinobi struck Sakura as even more hurtful. Old retired shinobi that she'd never met would get this cold distant look in their eyes, looking at her if picturing how to kill her and get away with it. The younger shinobi were kind, but distant, as if trying to avoid being associated with her, as if her existence would stain their reputation.

Sakura felt like a part of herself wanted to curl up and die. It was one thing to be treated like this for something you deserved, but from people she never met? From the people she had once happily called friends? The dismissive gaze in Ino's face, like she was a particularly annoying piece of garbage, really made Sakura almost want to tear off the Transformation and scream at Ino.

Almost.

Sayuri nearly stabbed someone when she found them trying to pickpocket her when she was Naruko on her shift, and the civilian had backed off once he realized that Naruko looked out for blood. The horror and terror on the civilian's face almost made up for the fact that Sayuri had admitted that it made her want to throw up afterwards.

Itsuki had forced Sayuri to watch as Itsuki killed every single family member, every civilian, every shinobi. Every child, every infant. The same look of absolute terror and horror on their faces, their lips trying to move to ask Itsuki why she had done this, only to drop cold to the ground without an answer, their blood spraying and coloring the empty grey world of Tsukuyomi. Seeing the same look on the civilian, just from Sayuri losing her temper while pretending to be Naruko, had deeply shaken Sayuri.

The two had made it a point to apologize to Naruko when they saw her before the next mission. No one deserved to be treated like this, especially when Sayuri connected the dots and told Sakura with a look of horror on her face that Naruko never said anything because to her, this was normal. Naruko grew up like this.

Sakura tried to picture that this was her whole life. No family. No friends. No comforts. The bed bugs. The cockroaches. The broken microwave that stopped working a week and a half in. The water likely being so biologically harmful that she had been tempted to bottle some of it and test it for new poisons/toxins to use against enemies outside of the Land of Fire.

'I would rather die. I would rather die than live like this.'

Sayuri would say that being Naruko Uzumaki, was shitty and kind of boring.

Yeah, the civilians treated her like shit, but Sayuri honestly didn't appreciate when they tried to kiss her ass when she was Sayuri Uchiha out of pity either. Yeah, some of the older retired shinobi gave her the creeps, those icy cold gazes of 'I'm thinking of a dozen ways to kill you, I just need to figure out how to get away with it' reminded her too much of Itsuki on the night of the massacre. Yeah, bed bugs and cockroaches in the apartment, along with everything else in the apartment, was absolutely disgusting to deal with.

The real pain was just how empty this village felt. Nothing to do. Nowhere to go. She couldn't train because, for the life of her, she actually hadn't seen Naruko go out and train. Certainly not in any of the public training grounds, and the less said about trying to train with the extremely overpriced equipment and goods, the better. Naruko had no books, well, she had one book. The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja, was a rather pitiful book. No actual useful thing in there aside from the fact that the main character's name was Naruto, and that the whole book was about determination. In one's life and one's goals. Sayuri had gotten careless and left it out one day in the apartment, and returned to it utterly destroyed, the pages torn out, the book absolutely ruined, and the smell of human excrement was very much present. Sayuri had to put on what felt like five pairs of gloves, a gas mask, and several wrapped up paper bags, because she didn't trust the plastic bags that were under the sink weren't compromised in some way, to dispose of it.

How pathetic. Determination didn't stop you from dying by a kunai. Determination didn't save you from the slowly approaching death by starvation or dehydration. Determination, meant absolutely nothing in the face of reality.

How a Shinobi should die is a much better novel. All the honorable ways to go, none of the pretty bullshit. Dying trying to avenge one's family was fine. Death by old age was considered the pinnacle of shinobi success, but very, very, few got to reach that kind of end.

Still, the fact that Naruko had lived like this, still lived like this, was absolutely upsetting. She had plenty of space in the Uchiha District. All those buildings had been cleaned up by the ANBU, so Sayuri knew they were at least up to construction standards, and Naruko could've been at least living it up in one of those empty houses all this time, if she had just opened her mouth and asked her for help.

It's not like the Uchiha Clan was using those houses anymore anyway. The thought stung, but it stung less when she thought about having others use the houses, people that needed homes, so that way they could be put to good use rather than slowly wasting away in the silence of the dead and gone.

The one good thing she could say she got out of this was that her Transformation of Naruko was so on point that she had actually felt some confusion and a feeling of deep disorientation when she looked herself in the mirror some mornings, still in Naruko's form. That and the slowly growing idea of just donating most of the Uchiha District to be converted into future homes for the orphans or the needy to be used as required. With the number one person in mind being Naruko, because she'd be damned if she had to pretend to be Naruko in the future, and still deal with this shit.

Don't kill the civilians. Don't kill the civilians. Don't kill the retired shinobi with the missing leg.

A small part of her, in the back of her mind, in Itsuki's voice, whispered.

You know, if Naruko snapped one day, would you really blame her? Would you even try to stop her? Wouldn't you say she's justified to test the limits of her abilities against those who wronged her?

Sayuri was deeply unsettled at the thought of someone with Itsuki's mindset being justified, waking up in a cold sweat as she had to swallow a scream as she recalled the dream of Itsuki nodding in approval as Sayuri slaughtered the Uchiha Clan with her, the two sisters against the world.

Sayuri wouldn't sleep for the next three nights, shaking silently as her pale gaunt face always seemed to look too much like Itsuki's when she wasn't pretending to be Naruko.

[Yagura Karatachi. The Fourth Mizukage. +42.

Isobu, the Three Tails. +80.

Kisame Hoshigaki. The 'Tailless' Tailed Beast. +46.

Onoki. The Third Tsuchikage. +30.

283 Credits.]

Ah, that's right. Onoki was hiring the Akatsuki to do missions for him for cheaper around this time in Naruto, which made him particularly vulnerable. The fact that I got Yagura surprised me, as I had expected he had already died by this time in the story, but it worked out even better as Obito had access to both Yagura and the Sanbi through the use of his Sharingan.

The plan was coming along nicely. I was avoiding dealing with Konan and Nagato, as both were serious contenders, and while Konan was likely vulnerable to Genjutsu, I suspected Nagato was not, at least not to visual based Genjutsu.

[Polymorph Defense II. -80.

Wyldscape Defense II. -100.

103 Credits left.]

That covers the Defenses. Now the only way I was entirely vulnerable was through an actual physical death. For all the Defenses of the Catalog, surprisingly there wasn't much to protect the Contractor from physical death. I'd say it's a loophole, but no, I was thinking this was an actual hole in the Defense structure on purpose.

After all, Contractors who got overly full of themselves and overly reliant on the Defenses would end up walking headfirst into their deaths in some of the higher Tier worlds, thinking themselves invincible or invulnerable.

"Glad to see my potential Mortal Lover isn't stupid. Yes, the Contractors of the Company are not infallible. Harder to kill, yes, harder to injure, sure, but fully immortal? No. Most of the time, the universes containing the Contractors slowly stop spinning, as if some governing force slowly begins to stall and lie still. Eventually, the universe simply freezes in Time and Space, a form of True Death. It's rather disheartening, even to ones such as myself, but such is the fate of all things. Whether out with a bang or with a whimper, all things end."

'Sounds rather depressing. What's the point in doing anything if all things end?' I mentally questioned back.

"I too had similar thoughts, eons ago. After all, what is the point of taking on Mortal Lovers if they too die? What is the point of me doing my responsibility if all things end with or without my aide? A couple eternities ago, I had an... what would you mortals call it? An epiphany? Yes, an epiphany, an Awakening. An Understanding."

"That although I am Death, I am More Than Death. I don't need to be cold, lifeless, eternal death. I can be the happy death after a long fruitful life filled with friends, aspirations fulfilled, and dreams accomplished. I can be the peaceful death of a commander who has decided to buy his unit time by sacrificing his life for them. I can be the violent death, that roars in challenge against the Endless Night. I can be the endless hunger in the cold winter nights that feed off of the living. I can also be the friendly being that helps someone live just a little bit longer, strive to be just a little bit better, in order to live a fuller life when their time next comes. I can be, and am, More Than Death."

'I see. Thanks, Wendy. You've given me something to think about. I suppose my purpose is to enjoy this universe, this microcosm of reality, for as long as I can. Even if the universe does slowly draw to a halt like the other ones, I'd like to say that I enjoyed it. Every moment of it, as much as I can. Sounds pretty selfish of me, actually, saying that out loud.' I laughed, chuckling to myself.

"You chose to be the Shadow of Gojo Satoru, for a reason. Embrace the selfishness. Living your life always for others, is just as terrible a way to live as it is to live entirely for yourself. A balance is usually best, but that is not so easily done. For mortals or immortals."

I guess that since I completely covered my Defenses, Wendy felt it was safer to reach me even beyond the Nara forest, since I was currently eating at Ichiraku Ramen, though I smirked as I noticed Ayame's flushing face kept sneaking glances at me, before she finally approached me, her face turning almost red.

I did not expect a frying pan aimed dangerously at me as Ayame's eyes narrowed in rage. "I'm going to ask this once, and only once. Where is Naruko Uzumaki? I've been seeing 'her' come around, but those fakes barely eat even a third of what Naruko can pack away, and while they ask for leftovers, they don't complain when I sneak in vegetables and nutrient powder in them, when Naruko always complains about how it changes the ramen broth's texture."

Who the fuck is dumb enough to try and pretend to be Naruko at Ichiraku Ramen?

And for that matter, why are they trying to be Naruko in the first place?

Kakashi Hatake sighed. "I suppose I can't fault them for not being able to pretend to be Naruko at the ramen stand." As he sat down beside me, nodding at me politely.

"Sayuri Uchiha and Sakura Haruno are under a... let's call it a C-class espionage mission. They're under strict orders to pretend to be Naruko during the first month of her treatment plan. I can't say the treatment plan, it's strictly confidential, but it's also so that way Naruko doesn't feel obligated to be out amongst the... rabble, so to speak." Kakashi shrugged lazily at Ayame, who frowned.

"If you guys did anything to Naruko, I will make you pay. She's a sister to me." Ayame warned darkly, her eyes narrowed as she slowly went to the back.

Teuchi came out, nodding to himself as he approached Kakashi. "Kakashi, haven't seen you here in years." Teuchi said warmly.

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Yes, I'm... sorry, Teuchi. It's been a long time." He said quietly.

"The usual? Miso ramen, extra pork?" Teuchi said lightly.

Kakashi's eye widened. "I, you still remember?" He asked, stunned.

Teuchi's eyes grew misty, his smile brittle. "How could I not? She was family... And you're family too, Kakashi. I'm here if you need me. Whether for an ear to listen, or a hand to help."

Kakashi nodded, his voice rough. "Thanks, Teuchi. Yeah, I could use the ear, but not now. Maybe after closing time. Remember the place after work?" Teuchi laughed.

"Couldn't forget! I'll meet you then." Kakashi nodded, got up and left the stand, as Teuchi sighed.

"Kid, getting old sucks, but sometimes, it's nice to meet family you haven't seen in a while." I slowly nodded, finishing my second bowl of ramen, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

Times like these, I feel like I know too much. I wish I could tell them that they don't need to speak in circles just cause I'm here, but then they'd start asking questions. Questions I wouldn't want to answer right now.

"My, my. How bold of you to cross my threshold so far into the forest, and no food to give me either." The Wendigo's raspy voice echoed across the silent forest. This deep in, the leaves were gone from all the trees, the branches grown gnarled and misshapen, the ground cracked and oozing a faint mist of darkness.

"I want to know what you've done to my son." Shikaku said quietly, the shadows pooling around himself like a wraith, the only visible part of him being his eyes.

"I've done nothing. Your son is... unique, even among your kind." The Wendigo said flatly.

"Explain. Please." Shikaku stated reluctantly, looking down at the ground.

"He is Twice-Born. In your tongue, a Reincarnation. The abilities he's awakening are an extension of his past life. Chakra is made of spiritual energy, that of which is born from imagination, experiences, and memories. Physical energy, that of which is born from the process of stripping energy from the world through the prey you devour, and then used to reconstruct the body in the process. Both alone can do little without training, but the metaphysical is where the source of all Bloodlines, of all Innate Natures, come into play. The metaphysical is the Source of the universe, the bedrock of how it's foundations work. Bloodline Limits can manipulate the basics of the Source using Chakra as a Conduit. Those born with a Glorious Purpose, or perhaps have a Great Prophecy attached to their souls, can manipulate the Source in greater ways still than those with Bloodline Limits. However..."

"What happens if someone is not of this universe? What happens if someone who is reborn in this world was recently not of this world? Now they aren't using one Source, but two. Two Sources to draw from, double the amount of metaphysical to play around with. Most of the time, one Source is deemed more relevant than the other, with the 'native' Source taking precedence, but this isn't always the case. Most with a preference for a Source not native to this world often are unable to use chakra properly, the coils not developing or otherwise becoming malformed. This has nothing to do with the Body, for the Physical Imprint of this world is still there, but the Metaphysical Value is too far different to be compatible."

Shikaku filed that information away, particularly as that had some serious value for Rock Lee, whose coils were malformed, according to Might Guy's reports. "What about my son?" He asked again, quiet, careful to not offend the Patron of the Nara Clan.

"Shikamaru Nara is a Twice-Born, but not just any Twice-Born. Twice-Borns happen on a rare occasion, it's just that their memories of their past lives are erased. No, Shikamaru Nara is a Twice-Born of the Honored One."

"Honored One?" Shikaku asked, feeling a sense of dread in his stomach. That kind of title usually didn't mean a nice quiet life for his son.

"Indeed. The Honored One."

The shadows carved apart the earth, reaching through the air and shaped into a figure.

Spoiler: The Honored One

"He looks nothing like Shikamaru." Shikaku commented quietly, looking at the frozen image.

"The spirit is the same, even if the body differs. Regardless, the Honored One was reborn in this life with the same abilities he had in his past life, along with his new life's abilities. It is these abilities that are resurfacing in this world that are what confuses your kind, because these abilities are drawn from a different Source from the native one."

"I don't suppose you could explain what these abilities are and how they work?" Shikaku said dryly.

The image vanished and the Wendigo laughed, it's raspy laughter echoing across the dead forest.

"And spoil the fun? No. I think not, little Nara. However, Shikamaru Nara is far more than even the Shadow of the Honored One. After all, the Honored One was but one of his Aspects' Titles. While he has a much firmer grasp on the Honored One, he's seeking to understand, and master, a third Source. Accelerator. The One Way Road."

The Wendigo paused, a tone of pride and respect in it's voice, something that terrified Shikaku, as if every nerve was just plugged into a weak lightning jutsu, a sense of dread and alarm filling him in equal measure.

A second image arose from the ground, the shadows warping into shape.

"The One Who Wields The Power of God."

Spoiler: The One Who Wields The Power of God

"God. Like, as in one of the Kami?" Shikaku asked lowly, his voice strained. The idea of his son, his boy, being that power hungry, unnerved him.

The Wendigo snorted.

"Remember, this is a third Source. A different universe entirely. The 'God' referred to here is capable of taking on every spiritual and physical being that has ever existed, will exist, or could exist in this universe, all at the same time and win. Effortlessly. 'God' would be able to annihilate the nine bijuu, end all wars, and force the shinobi world to kneel in a week's time, without truly needing to show himself to do it. Your universe would be forcefully contorted beyond all imagining simply by His Arrival."

"My son is going to be smitten by a Kami for his arrogance. I should've started drinking way earlier today." Shikaku groaned.

The Wendigo's voice took on a decisively darker tone, the trees shaking as the shadows writhed, the silent dead forest coming to life as, for a brief moment, the Wendigo lost it's temper.

"They would die trying."

Shikaku nodded shakily, leaving the forest as quickly as possible as the Wendigo's voice echoed through the forest.

"I do hope you remember to keep our conversations to just us, unless you wish to leave this mortal coil sooner, little Nara. Oh, and do be a 'deer' and remind my Mortal Champion to bring me some more food to hunt. I'm afraid I've already eaten all the prey your wife gave me earlier."

Shikaku felt his cold sweat on his face as he continued to leave.

He was almost to the house when he saw his wife's face, her eyes narrowed. "Were you really that stupid to go into the Wendigo's territory without any prey?!" Yoshino yelled at him.

Troublesome. Trying to figure out how keep his family safe without pissing off the wife was such a drag sometimes.

The things you do for family, he sighed.

Teuchi was an old man, by shinobi standards, something that his body liked to remind him a lot of when he went about his day. The aches and pains of old age were never pleasant, and some days were better than others. His wrists ached, his knees always popped whenever he got up too fast, and Kami forbid he actually stay up late or drink like he used to, because his body reminded him that those things were for young men, not people in their forties.

And yet, here he was, sipping his first drink still as Kakashi was on his sixth, the young man looking like he wasn't sure what to do with himself. In truth, Teuchi would have been the same himself in his twenties.

But time has a way of rubbing against your pride and insecurities. The things you fear and regret in your twenties are very different from the things you fear and regret in your forties.

"I failed her, Teuchi. I failed her, my sensei, and her daughter. I should've been here, not out there." Kakashi said quietly, his voice flat.

Teuchi said nothing, merely nursing his first drink as he sat there quietly. A young man like Kakashi had a lot of people who told him what to do, what to think, how to act.

Teuchi had long since learned that sometimes what people needed most was someone just willing to sit and listen. To feel heard, regardless of how right or wrong their thoughts were.

"She looked so thin, so tired." Kakashi whispered, his eye glazed over. "She looked closer to 10, not 14. Her bedroom was something I'd expect from an ANBU member, not a child. The same single outfit bought multiple times. No toys. A single picture of her and the Third buried under a floorboard in a corner under the desk to avoid getting found or damaged in case of a search... or a bomb. No books."

Kakashi took a long raspy breath, and downed the rest of his sixth cup, waving at the bartender for another.

The bartender nodded silently. The "After-work Bar" was strictly for Jonin and higher for a reason.

"She could barely read. I dropped off 'The Tale of the Gutsy Ninja', since I wasn't sure if she just wasn't interested in reading. I found her not even an hour later, struggling to sound out the words, trying to understand them."

Kakashi barely bat his eye as a seventh cup of alcohol was placed in his hand as he took another swig.

"I was so close to going rogue that day, Teuchi. I was so close to just losing it, slaughtering them all, and dying trying to make up for what they did to her. But, she smiled. She thanked me. She didn't see me, but she said thank you to the empty room because "my grandfather always said to thank Kami for the blessings, great and small"."

Kakashi looked at Teuchi, tears falling silently from his single regular eye. His voice rough and raspy as he continued.

"I told the Third Hokage. Everything I saw. That statement alone reminded me that, no, I wasn't the only one who would be horrified, infuriated, by how his daughter was treated."

Kakashi wiped his face of his tears, returning to his drink, whispering with a dark satisfaction.

"We got most of them back for what they did. It was, I wouldn't say fun, but..." Kakashi struggled to find a word to say.

"It was justice done." Teuchi said lowly, sipping from his cup.

"Kakashi, I left the service. I retired to take care of my daughter after my wife died at the tail end of the Third Shinobi War. Kushina was a second daughter to me. Do you have any idea how hard it was to not put on my Ninja gear when I saw how scared and hungry my grand daughter looked?" Teuchi asked quietly.

"No, but I can imagine it was quite difficult." Kakashi responded roughly.

"Quite. There is a reason why the Third Hokage never called me back into service when Minato and Kushina died: I am too old. War is a young man's battlefield."

Teuchi sighed. "Kakashi, what would you do if Minato was here?"

Kakashi immediately responded. "Punch him in the face for abandoning Naruko to this shitty village."

Teuchi laughed dryly for a moment. "And then?"

"Hug him and tell him I missed him." Kakashi's voice was even quieter with that response.

"We all fuck up, Kakashi. All of us. The older you get, the more you realize it's not the fuck ups that matter; it's how you get back up and do better next time that matters more. Stop living in the past: it's the present that needs you more." Teuchi said simply, finishing his drink.

"Easier said than done, Teuchi. But, I'll try. For Naruko." Teuchi nodded with approval.

"Good. Now I need to get home. My body will hate me for this tomorrow. And, do give my regards to Might Guy and Anko when you see them."

Kakashi nodded. "Will do."

Teuchi nodded to him back as he left the bar.

It's a shame he couldn't tell Kakashi he never actually retired, but the less that knew the better.

After all, not many knew that old Teuchi from the ramen stand had once been the S-ranked Teuchi Senju, the Butcher.

Man, those were the days. Everyone overlooks that I have the chakra reserves of a civilian, yet the strength and precision equal to my grandfather Tobirama Senju. I wonder how many ever realized that I'm wearing chakra suppressors. Not that Danzo would squeal: he knows better after what I did to his limbs and to his 'ambush'..

Really, did he think he could just jump me with fifteen Root shinobi and himself? Fool. And to think I left him alive at the Third's request. Looks like he still has that limp though. Those limbs and nerves just don't heal like they used to, eh Danzo?

Twenty years later, still got it.

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