Risks and Rewards

Thursday.

9:17am

Jeremy is all dressed up in a black hoodie and grey sweatpants. He looked like a character in those cyberpunk games. He has his hoodie up over his head and black sunglasses over his eyes. All attempts to try and conceal his identity. His newfound unsolicited popularity was all new waters for him. For a kid who grew up in seclusion, away from people, who learnt how to live in isolation, this was really a lot for him.

As he walked from the class where he just had a lecture on networking, Jeremy had his head bowed. He looked at the ground in front of him as if the cracked pavements had the most interesting inscriptions on their surfaces. He walked quickly, briskly, avoiding people like a plague. In his mind, every student on his path had seen the video. They had witnessed his shame.

9:31am

Jeremy made it to the class, PSY101. He was walking to his regular seat, the last row at the back, when suddenly, he heard someone call out his name.

"Fuck." Jeremy whispered under his breath. This was the last thing he wanted.

"Hey." A young man with curly black hair said.

"Hi." Jeremy said dryly, awkwardly avoiding his eyes.

"Hi, I am Paul. The guy said, stretching his arm out for a handshake.

"Okay?" Jeremy said, shaking the guy suspiciously.

"Paul Anglewood. We take this class together."

"Oh, yeah." Jeremy me said. 

He knew the name. He had seen the name. He wrote it out when compiling the list of students taking PSY 101. The list of students who hadn't turned in the last assignment Ava gave. He knew the names of his course mates, but he didn't know their faces. He rarely spoke to them. If he were to meet any of these students randomly on the street, he would walk past without recognising them. 

"How have you been, man? We haven't seen you around in a while. Hope you are good?" Paul asked with a look of concern on his face.

"Yeah. I am good." Jeremey responded after a pause. He lied. He was far from good. He had barely eaten. He felt like shit. He was constantly paranoid.

"OK. That's good to know. I haven't turned in my assignment, man, and I don't wanna get on Dr Ava's bad side. Can you put in a word for me, please? I promise I will turn it in today." Paul said with both hands clasped together in the begging posture little kids used. 

At the sound of that name, Ava, Jeremy's heart skipped a beat. He hasn't seen her in a while.

"Sure, sure. Don't sweat it. Just make sure you email it to me today." Jeremy said, trying his best to sound normal.

Jeremy barely had time to process Paul's request before the classroom door swung open with a soft creak. Heads turned, murmurs rippled through the students, and Jeremy's heart slammed against his ribs, not because of Paul, but because it wasn't Ava who walked in.

Instead, Professor Griggs entered, his tall frame casting a long shadow across the room. His crisp navy blazer contrasted sharply with the pale walls, and his sharp eyes scanned the sea of faces before settling on the students. "Good morning, everyone," he said, voice calm but authoritative. "I'm filling in for Dr Morgan today. She had to attend to some urgent research matters."

A few students exchanged surprised glances, whispers fluttering like restless birds. Jeremy's breath hitched. The room felt suddenly colder, the fluorescent lights harsher. His hoodie felt heavier on his shoulders, the fabric scratchy against his skin. He realised, with a sinking certainty, that the real reason he had come to class today wasn't just to attend PSY101 or keep up appearances – it was to see Ava. To be near her, to catch a glimpse, even if it meant risking the humiliation he'd been trying to escape.

Professor Griggs moved to the front of the room, clicking a remote to bring up a slide titled Operant Conditioning: Reinforcements and Consequences. He began, "Operant conditioning is a method of learning that employs rewards and punishments for behaviour. It's how organisms adapt to their environment by associating their actions with outcomes."

Jeremy forced his eyes onto the screen, but his mind drifted like a leaf on a restless stream. Why was he falling for her? Was it just his own perversion, a desperate craving for connection? Or was there something about her, her quiet confidence, the way her eyes seemed to hold a secret just for him, that made his heart race uncontrollably?

Griggs continued, "Positive reinforcement involves presenting a rewarding stimulus to increase a behaviour. For example, a student might study harder after receiving praise."

Jeremy's thoughts spiralled. Was Ava the reward? Was the rare smile she gave him a kind of reinforcement, making him crave her more? Or was his attraction a conditioned response, born from years of loneliness and isolation, finally finding a stimulus that broke through his social withdrawal?

The professor's voice softened. "Negative reinforcement, on the other hand, involves removing an unpleasant stimulus to increase behaviour. Like when a student studies to avoid the discomfort of failing."

Jeremy's fingers tightened around the strap of his backpack. Was his avoidance of people a form of negative reinforcement? Was he trying to escape the pain of shame by retreating deeper into himself?

Griggs's tone shifted. "Punishment is introducing an unpleasant consequence to decrease behaviour. Public embarrassment, for example, can discourage certain actions."

Jeremy flinched, the memory of cruel taunts flooding back; the nickname, the laughter, the sting of eyes on him. Was that punishment shaping him now? Was it conditioning him to shrink away, to disappear?

He glanced toward the door, half-expecting Ava to appear, to change the course of his day. But the room remained filled with Griggs's steady voice and the quiet scratching of pens against paper.

His chest tightened. He wondered if what he felt was real affection or just a psychological trap – a learnt response to the rare kindness Ava showed him. Was he falling for a person or for the hope she represented?

A soft breeze from the cracked window brushed his cheek, carrying the faint scent of rain and freshly cut grass. He closed his eyes briefly, grounding himself.

When he opened them, he caught Paul Anglewood's curious gaze from across the room. Paul gave him a small, encouraging nod.

Jeremy swallowed hard and whispered to himself, "It doesn't matter. Whatever this is – whatever Ava means to me – I'm ready to face the risks."

As Professor Griggs wrapped up the lecture, Jeremy sat up straighter, a flicker of determination sparking inside him. Maybe this was his chance. A chance to not just learn about psychology but to rewrite his own story.

"So, I hope you now all understand that when we talk about conditioning, we are not just talking about Ivan Pavlov. As great as his work was, there are other great psychologists who did equally wonderful things as regards the topic, and one of such men is B.F. Skinner with his wonderful ideas on operant conditioning. This brings us to the end of the class. Do you have any questions or anything you require clarification about?" Professor Griggs said, adjusting his glasses as he scanned faces with his eyes travelling from row to row. 

"I have a question." Paul said, raising his hand. 

"Please go ahead." Replied Professor Griggs. 

"How exactly do Pavlov's ideas on conditioning differ from those of Skinner?" 

"Aha! A very excellent question. It shows that you are following this class." The professor exclaimed excitedly. 

"So, who wants to give it a shot? Anyone?" The man said, scanning through the crowd. 

"I know Dr. Morgan must have done a fantastic job on Pavlov's work, so I expect to see your hands up." 

The class remained silent. Perhaps the professor's teaching methods were not as interactive as Ava's. The excited professor was met with bored faces. 

"How about you, Mr. Dalton? My runaway assistant." The professor said much to the amusement of the student and to Jeremy's surprise. 

"We are waiting, Mr. Dalton. We do not have all day." Professor Griggs remarked, looking at his watch. 

Jeremy had eyes looking at him now, the backbencher. He saw Paul mouth the words "I'm sorry in his direction." It seems the boy was taking the blame. After all, it was his question that was now being directed at Jeremy. 

"Well, Skinner and Pavlov share some similarities in their methodology. For instance, they both used animals. While the Russian used dogs, Skinners preferred rats and mice. I don't exactly know why; maybe it helped his conscience better seeing as he electrocuted them. With Pavlov's experiment, however, the dog was trained to associate two objects together, the two objects being food and the bell. While in Skinner's experiment, the animals were basically taught that their actions have consequences, be it rewards or punishment. That's what I think." Jeremy replied to the professor after taking off his sunglasses. 

Professor Griggs gave nods of approval. 

"It seems someone has been following attentively. I hope that answers your question, Mr.?" The professor asked, turning towards Paul. 

"Paul, sir, Paul Anglewood." 

"Alrighty then, Mr. Anglewood. Do we still have any other questions, or can we call it a day?" 

Silence

"Lest I forget, Dr. Ava asked me to remind those of you who are yet to turn in your assignment to do so. I hope you understand it is a part of your assessment. Thank you all very much, and don't forget to stay curious. Mr. Dalton, see me before you leave." 

Jeremy was expecting that. He had ghosted the man for two weeks, hardly replying to his messages or taking his calls. Of course he wanted to see him. 

The class quickly emptied as the students were in a hurry to leave. Paul said bye to Jeremy, and Jeremy walked to the front of the class, where Professor Griggs was sitting, waiting for him. 

"My good man. You seem to have pulled a Houdini on us. What's the matter?" The professor asked. 

"I am so sorry, sir. It is just that school is getting a bit much for me right now." Jeremy replied 

"Well, you seem to be doing just fine in PSY101. I planned to relieve you of your duties, but Dr. Ava advised against it. She said you are really interested in the subject, and she seems to have grown a liking to you."

"Wow," Jeremy said, surprised. 

"Please, just do what you need to do, ok? I don't want us going back and forth on this. Can you handle it?"

"Yes, sir." He responded. 

"Very well then. I will be on my way." 

As Professor Griggs walked out of the class, Jeremy stared at him, reminiscing on the words he had just said. Ava looked out for him even when he didn't reply to her emails. Maybe she does actually care. Maybe, just maybe.