The Unwilling Disciple and the Chicken of Fate
Kaito stood in the courtyard of the Broken Heaven Sect, staring at the ragtag disciples going about their "training." A scrawny boy chased a chicken in circles. A girl tried to levitate a pebble using furious glares. One elder was napping face-down in a bowl of cold noodles.
Truly, a sect of legends.
[System Quest Reminder: Inspire a Disciple to Cultivate.][Bonus Reward if Inspiration Requires Zero Physical Effort.]
Kaito cracked his neck and sighed. "Alright. Operation: Delegated Enlightenment begins."
His eyes settled on the boy chasing the chicken — maybe twelve, maybe fourteen. Hair like a haystack, robes two sizes too big, and the determination of a damp sponge.
The chicken, on the other hand, was clearly a seasoned warrior.
Kaito shuffled over, hands behind his back in the universal posture of fake wisdom.
"Young man," he said, in a tone so serious even he didn't believe it, "what are you doing?"
The boy flinched. "I-I was told to catch the sect's spiritual beast for morning cleaning duty!"
Kaito looked at the chicken.
The chicken looked back.
It radiated menace.
"That's no spiritual beast," Kaito said. "That's Elder Feng's lunch."
The boy blinked. "What?"
"Never mind. What's your name?"
"Uh... Ping."
"Well, Ping, how would you like to become my personal disciple?"
Ping stared. Then laughed nervously. "Is this a test?"
"Nope."
"Are you being punished?"
Kaito crouched slightly to meet the boy's eye level. "Listen carefully, Ping. True cultivation is not about chasing chickens. It's about understanding... the Dao of Doing Absolutely Nothing."
Ping's eyes widened. "Is that... a real Dao?"
"It is now."
Ten minutes later, the two of them were lying on the grass under a crooked plum tree. Ping fidgeted nervously.
"So... what are we supposed to do?"
"Nothing," Kaito said. "Just exist. Let the chicken chase itself. Let the breeze do the thinking. Let the grass grow without supervision."
Ping blinked. "And that cultivates my Qi?"
Kaito gestured vaguely to the sky. "The heavens move without pushing. Rivers flow without rowing. Why should we break a sweat?"
[Ding! You have shared the Dao of Slack with another soul.][Quest Complete: Inspire a Disciple to Cultivate][Reward: Passive Skill – Slack Delegation (Lv. 1): Disciples passively generate Slack Points while near you.][+300 Slack Points]
Kaito beamed. "See? Enlightenment already!"
Ping opened one eye. "I feel... sort of sleepy."
"That's the Qi circulating."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
Later that evening, Elder Meng stormed into Kaito's room, fuming.
"Disciple Kaito!" he snapped. "Explain why half the outer disciples are napping in formation!"
Kaito looked up from his reclining position, head resting on a tea-stained manual titled "The Lazy Cultivator's Cookbook (Mostly Toast)."
"I am instilling balance into their meridians through the stillness of sloth."
Elder Meng's eye twitched. "They've stopped sweeping the stairs!"
"They're sweeping the inner realms of their souls."
"Someone replaced the incense with fried onions!"
Kaito shrugged. "Smells better."
The elder pointed a shaky finger. "You—You've infected the sect with lethargy!"
"Correction," Kaito said, stretching, "I've uplifted the sect into a higher realm of relaxed awareness."
[Ding! New Title Unlocked: Sect Saboteur or Spiritual Innovator?]
[Slack Points +100]
That night, as Kaito lay beneath the stars, system menu hovering faintly in the air, he scrolled through his new stats.
Cultivation Method: Dao of Slack (Lv. 1)Current Slack Points: 670Next Upgrade: 500 → Achieved!Would you like to level up?
He tapped "Yes" with his mind.
[Ding! Dao of Slack has advanced to Level 2.][Effect: You now absorb Qi at triple rate while napping. Passive resistance to nagging increased by 50%.]
He laughed softly. "I'm unstoppable."
The plum tree above him dropped a petal onto his face. He didn't move.
Somewhere in the distance, Ping was snoring peacefully beside the chicken.
The sect had never been quieter. Or lazier.
And somehow… more alive.