Chapter 6: My Nightmare

I carefully tucked the jade amulet away and stood, turning towards Yongning Palace. Though unfamiliar with the palace grounds, I remembered the way back. Soon, the grand gates came into view. A strange sense of homecoming washed over me, stinging my eyes with unshed tears. Just then, a maid's joyful voice rang out: "Madam Zhang! Her Majesty is back!"

I had no energy to register their expressions. The day's events, both physical and emotional, had left me utterly drained. Ignoring them, heedless of any words spoken, I walked straight to my bedchamber.

Like a puppet with severed strings, I collapsed onto the bed, pulling the quilt over my head, seeking refuge from the turmoil within. But then, the quilt was gently tugged down. Nanny Zhang's voice, thick with concern, broke through: "Miss… won't you take supper?"

"I'm not hungry," I replied flatly. "I need sleep. Leave me."

"Miss, you cannot do this!" Her voice tightened with distress. "Whatever troubles you, you mustn't harm yourself this way! You break this servant's heart!" She pulled the quilt further down, resting a hand on my shoulder. "Please, eat something. Though I know not what grieves you, starving yourself will only wound your mother… and me!"

"I said I don't want it! Stop pestering me!" Irritation flared. I shoved her hand away sharply. "Just leave me alone!"

She flinched, pulling back, her expression stunned. "Miss… you…"

Seeing the hurt and deep worry etched on her face, my anger dissolved into guilt. "I'm sorry, Nanny Zhang," I mumbled, the fight draining out of me. "My mood… it's truly foul. But how could it be otherwise? Branded a harlot in everyone's eyes, treated with such contempt… Do you know how that feels?"

The memories—last night, today—flooded back, a fresh wave of bitterness and frustration. I knew voicing this only hurt her, the one who cared, but the words clawed their way out. Holding them in was suffocating.

"Miss…" Nanny Zhang's voice was low, heavy. "Don't dwell on it so. This… this is all the master's fault! Had he listened to your mother, had he let you marry an ordinary man… perhaps you wouldn't be suffering so."

"Yes! His fault!" The words tumbled out, laced with a newfound resentment for this unseen Chancellor father. "His greed for glory and riches threw me into this wretched palace as its 'Empress'! And for what? To endure humiliations I never imagined!" Without him, would my life be this torment?

Nanny Zhang sighed, her hand returning to my shoulder, a gesture of comfort this time. "Don't speak so harshly, Miss. He is your father. He acted for your good. Becoming Empress… it is the dream of all women under heaven."

The dream of all women… but not mine. My dream was simple: Chenhao Gege, video games, a life untouched by power struggles and venomous courts.

Seeing her poised to plead again, I pushed her hand away gently but firmly. "Nanny Zhang, I am exhausted. Truly. Please, let me rest."

Her face softened with understanding. "Yes, Miss. This servant will withdraw." She bowed and quietly left.

Alone, I sighed and lay back down. My fingers instinctively sought the hidden amulet. Drawing it out, I traced its cool, smooth surface, a small, unexpected smile touching my lips.

Sweetness. It was the first genuine warmth I'd felt since becoming Xiao Chenyi. Who was that mysterious man? His words, so gentle and caring. His embrace, his kiss… so tender, so intoxicating. Was he like this jade in my hand—warm, serene, with a smile that radiated comfort?

My vision blurred. Exhaustion, a heavy blanket, settled over me. But sleep didn't bring oblivion. Instead, I slipped into a strange, unsettling dream.

Thin mist swirled. Within it, the blurred face of a youth. His smile was distant, indistinct, like moonlight shimmering on water—beautiful yet impossible to grasp. His hand reached towards me, almost touching my cheek… then jerked back suddenly. An uncrossable chasm seemed to yawn between us, forever keeping his hand from mine.

The mist thinned. His features sharpened, achingly familiar. Chenhao Gege! My heart leapt. I yearned to run to him, pour out my feelings… but then I saw it. The warmth in his eyes vanished, replaced by glacial coldness. A cruel, mocking smirk twisted his lips.

Not him.

The other one.

The one who stole my kiss.

My steps froze. A tremor started deep within my dream-self, violent and uncontrollable. Unnamable terror seized me, so vivid it pierced the veil of sleep. My only plea, echoing in the dream-mist: Let me escape the hurt, the shame. Let me live quietly, free from the weight of Xiao Chenyi's past. Just… peace.

How long that fear held me captive, I couldn't tell. Finally, the relentless tide of exhaustion overwhelmed even the nightmare, pulling me down into a deeper, darker slumber.