Forbidden Attraction

As expected, after two months, my parents were summoned. My grades were a disaster; I didn' t even try to answer the exams. I had turned rebellious, hoping they' d pull me out of school. I had learned to say three words, but nothing beyond that. It' s not that I didn' t try it was just too hard.

My relationship with Tuntakamon had gone from bad to worse. I remembered clearly the day after the exam, the moment I confirmed just how fake she really was.

"What are you doing tonight, Chao Nòk?" Kamon asked while we waited for the driver.

I didn' t answer, but she insisted.

"You have to come to my party."

"No. I don' t like parties," I said dryly.

"Who doesn' t like parties? How old are you?"

I ignored her and turned away, but Kamon didn' t hesitate to block my path.

"You have to come. You owe me a favor."

"I owe you a favor? Are you insane or what?"

"Yes, Chao Nòk. You got a good grade thanks to me, so you have to come."

She handed me a crumpled piece of paper with a number on it. For some reason, my stupid self downloaded Line just to message her. I was shocked when she sent me her location; we lived in the same area and I had never noticed.

"If you don' t come, I' ll post a photo of you and your parents on Instagram and say you' re hiding in Thailand."

Little demon. I went only because I wanted to confront her. But the kind of party these fifteen- and sixteen-year-old girls threw was nothing like the ones I knew back home.

After a few minutes, I found Kamon. That night, she acted like a "nice friend." She paid attention to me, and for a moment, I almost let myself be fooled.

"What' s wrong, Chao Nòk? Do the girls make you uncomfortable?" she asked when she saw me watching a group of classmates laughing and hugging each other freely.

"I... no..." I mumbled.

"We go to an all-girls school. That' s normal here," she said with a sarcastic smile.

I looked around, trying to process everything, but I felt completely out of place.

"Maybe... but still... I don' t know," I whispered, unable to find the right words.

Kamon leaned closer, wearing that arrogant smile she always had. I wanted to say something, but our lips met... I guess it looked like a K-drama moment. I had never kissed anyone before, and now a girl had become my first kiss.

"What, Chao Nòk? Never kissed anyone before?"

Before I could respond, she laughed softly and walked away, leaving me speechless. Everything about that night felt like a game where I was the weakest piece.

She had become my first kiss. And I, in turn, had become just another name on her list. Not only that, I had become the school' s joke. I don' t know how, but somehow, pictures of us kissing were going around, making it look like I was the one who had initiated it. Kamon, of course, spread the rumor herself, telling everyone I kissed her without consent.

The damage was done.

From that moment on, I understood Kamon wasn' t just arrogant... she enjoyed watching others fall apart around her. And unfortunately, I had become her favorite target.

And yes, that' s how the past two months went: ignoring Tuntakamon and struggling with my clumsiness trying to learn Thai. I had only managed to remember three basic phrases: sawadee ka to greet, khob khun ka to say thank you, and aroon sawat for good morning. Every time I said them, I felt like my accent ruined their meaning. No matter how much I practiced in front of the mirror, my pronunciation was always a reason for laughter at school.

It was like the language mocked me... like every syllable whispered, You don' t belong here. Everything felt humiliating. The language barrier made me feel trapped in a bubble of isolation, growing thicker and tighter with each day. And of course, my grades were a mess. I knew I was going to repeat the year. It wasn' t something I feared, it was something I had accepted as inevitable.

Sometimes I wondered if I' d be stuck in this school until I turned twenty... maybe longer. At this rate, I' d probably become a pilot at fifty... if I ever made it at all. The mere thought of being trapped here, in a country where I couldn' t even follow a basic conversation, filled me with a frustration that burned under my skin.

There were nights when I' d sit at my desk, staring at a mountain of books I didn' t understand, and felt the urge to scream. What was the point in trying if everything felt impossible? Between my parents' pressure, the accusatory stares from classmates, and Tuntakamon' s shadow following me everywhere, I was starting to feel like my dream of flying was a mirage, a fantasy slipping further away with every day I spent in Thailand.

I realized what truly weighed on me wasn' t just the language or the grades... it was the fear of becoming a mediocre version of myself. What if my whole life ended up like this? A constant struggle to reach something that always stayed just out of reach.

"No, Isa," I whispered one night while staring at the city lights through the window. "You' re not going to let this break you. You have to find a way."

Despite everything, I clung to that spark inside me, small but persistent. Reminding me I had a destiny to chase. I didn' t know how, but somehow... I' d find a way to take off.

The day began with suffocating heat. Classes had been canceled for a field trip to the city' s oldest temple, Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, a place wrapped in mysticism that grew stronger with every step along the steep path. The air was filled with incense, and the bells rang softly in the wind, like whispers calling for reflection.

Luckily, I was paired with Minji, which made everything more bearable. She was one of the few people I could be myself with no masks, no fear of being judged.

"Do you know anything about Buddha?" Minji asked as we stopped in front of a massive golden statue that seemed to glow with its own light.

I shook my head.

"Not much. Just that he' s an important figure in Thailand."

Minji smiled with patience.

"Buddha' s not a god, Isa. He' s a teacher. His teachings help us find the path to enlightenment, to balance."

I stared at the statue' s serene expression. There was something in that stillness that felt unreachable almost unreal for someone like me, who lived in a constant emotional storm.

They took us through the temple, explaining the stories carved into the murals, the offerings left by the faithful, and the importance of meditation in reaching inner peace. Everything felt so far away... like it belonged to another world I' d never be able to enter.

As the group moved on, I fell behind. There was something hypnotic about the way sunlight filtered through the columns and shimmered on the marble floor. That' s when I bumped into Kamon.

"What are you doing here alone, Chao Nòk?" she asked with her usual mocking tone, though this time, her gaze seemed more curious than malicious.

"Nothing. Just... watching."

Kamon stepped closer, invading my personal space in that way that felt natural for her.

"You know," she said with a half-smile, "we' re like magnets. No matter how much we try, we always end up drawn to each other."

Her words threw me off. I felt my cheeks flush, but I refused to show weakness.

"I hope God is kind enough to make sure that never happens," I answered firmly, though my voice trembled slightly.

Kamon tilted her head, her smile turning almost dangerous.

"We' re not talking about God here, Isabela." She gestured around us. "This is all for Buddha and his teachings. Don' t you get it?"

My eyes followed her hand the temple, the statues, the monks meditating silently, the fresh flowers on the altars. The weight of her words hit me like a loss. I felt like I didn' t belong, like every step I took in this country was a mistake... an invasion of a world I didn' t understand and never would.

I bit my lip, a mix of frustration and sadness rising in my throat.

"It doesn' t matter where I am," I said quietly. "I' ll always feel like I don' t belong."

Kamon stared at me, her dark eyes searching my face. For a moment, I thought she was going to say something else... but she simply turned around and walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Standing before the statue of Buddha, I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what it would feel like to find that inner peace everyone talked about. But my mind was filled with noise... and the echo of Kamon' s words, resonating in every corner of my soul.