part 5_ His Absence

He wasn't there.

Everything started with his absence.

My eyes searched wildly between shoulders and passing faces at the station, but there was no sign of him — no familiar look, no tall figure, not even a footprint.

It felt as if time had been pulled back and the ground had swallowed him without leaving a trace.

The moment I was sure he wasn't there...

it was like the world stopped for me.

I could no longer hear the taxi horns or the murmurs of people brushing by my shoulder.

The only thing I could feel...

was the lost beat of my heart, confused and searching for its rhythm but unable to find it.

I sat stiffly on the bus seat, staring at a single point.

That empty seat — the one I had thought our story would start from.

A story I had practiced a thousand times in my head... but reality didn't even let it begin.

Then...

something inside me seemed to scream.

It was not a word, not a sound, but it shook my whole being.

"Get up!"

Before the bus doors closed, I threw myself out without thinking.

The cold morning air hit my face like a slap.

But that cold was only ash compared to the fire inside me.

My eyes searched around wildly.

Every face I saw made my heart skip for a moment, then fall silent again.

Like a match that lights up but goes out instantly.

I stood there.

I waited.

Even as the bus, with a soft engine sound, drove away from me.

I felt that with every meter it moved away, a piece of me left with it.

Something inside me cracked... and broke.

I whispered, in a hoarse, muffled voice:

"Why did I wait so long...?"

A lump sat in my throat like a stone.

"Why didn't I take even one step? Why didn't I say one word...?"

I sat down on the cold bench at the station.

I buried my hands in my hair.

Tears slid down silently — hot, salty, and tired.

Then... I couldn't stay quiet anymore.

Sobs burst out of me like a broken wave.

Were people staring? Maybe.

But I didn't care.

In that moment, there was only me and a huge weight of regret.

Hatred. For myself. For my fear.

For my damned silence.

"Maybe I'll never see him again..."

My whisper broke.

Not just my voice — everything inside me was breaking.

---

With red eyes and a dry throat, I dragged myself to class.

My hands hung limp at my sides.

When I opened the door, I didn't even look to see who was there.

I went straight to Yuri...

and without any greeting, I threw myself into his arms.

All the trembling in my body, all the chaos inside me, the silent sobs...

everything broke apart in his embrace.

Yuri held me firmly but gently.

He whispered in my ear:

"Cry. Let it out. Empty yourself, Jong-ho... I'm here."

His arms were like a warm fence around me.

There was no judgment in his eyes, no questions in his voice.

Just being there. Just calm.

When my tears slowed, my breaths were still shaky.

My voice cracked, but the words came out:

"I was late... he wasn't there... I have nothing of him. Nothing..."

Yuri took my face in his hands and looked at me with a steady gaze.

His eyes, unlike mine, were bright.

"Listen. This is not the end."

His voice was firm, full of calm.

"He took his scarf. Be sure he will come back to return it. Maybe not today, but tomorrow... he will come."

I let out a shaky breath.

"Are you sure?"

Yuri's smile was small but full of faith.

"Yes. I'm sure."

A faint smile appeared at the corner of my mouth.

Not because I truly believed him, but because I wanted to believe.

And maybe, for the first time, a small crack of light opened inside my darkness.

In my heart I said:

"Tomorrow... maybe tomorrow..."