Hi author here, till chapter 9 I will try to lay down the foundation for mc and after that I will start to develop character and world.
Please try and bear with the writing.
As for Indian characters, i am an indian and would like to promote the culture of India( I really dont have much knowledge of chinese culture)
thank you, and appreciate you guy's viewership.
7 years ago
26
FanHarem
I don't understand all the bad reviews, most of u didn't even read the story before commenting. The author himself said he is still a noob and will make some mistakes, so cut him some slack people, the author has some good idea, don't let it go to waste.
7 years ago
19
Mythfury
Very interesting and unique novel...keep it up .just do not quit halfway.also plz explain more in world background ...................................................................................................๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
7 years ago
12
Broughtwaorld2
hi author here. Sorry for such a mess up. I assure you this story is even better than last time. please do support me by reading this again as i commit myself to atleast 1 chap update
7 years ago
11
Nileon
Reveal Spoiler
7 years ago
5
mugglemortal
Let's see how that ***** shweta brags now huh. Absolutely loving this novel, hopefully you can go all out in production after your exams thanks for the great story
7 years ago
3
Luft_Rauser
5 star for u now give me more updates
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YDysfzufxfuxgjgjgjxjfhffjxzfhydzzfhzfxjggcjgcjhfxfhxfhxfhfjfjxgcgjgxj
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7 years ago
3
Skully_
**Brutal Mode** Engaged
Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they canโt possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building and ass-kicking of arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story.
.
Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait Wait. Let me guess his cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend.
Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai.
Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speak to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters.
Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. Btw When does the story start?
6 years ago
2
mercifuljourney
The op name and the op summary got me.๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
7 years ago
2
RiskyA
Mooooorreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
V ^ V
ยฅ
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
7 years ago
2
Johnjayjay
Sorry RebirthDao... I tried, I REALLY tried, to read your novel but you need to continue studying the English language before writing a novel in that language. Well, perhaps you are writing in your native language and translating it over to English.
Whichever it is, I could only get about half way into your first chapter before I had to just stop. There are just too many grammatical errors and such, making it far too frustrating to continue on.
I wish the best of luck to you.
7 years ago
2
dogoverflowers
Nice-----
Nice
Nice
Good now sit
Aaaahdhdbdh bhxbeudebudbeudbeudbeudbeudbdudbdydbdyebudbduxdbxysbzusbzusbsuz
7 years ago
2
Soul_River
Is there going to be an actual system? It said that he was send back to the past, thats to say the system he created wasn't created yet? Or is it like he had a second body that recreate all the events that happened in the past and the main body controls the system? Will looking forward to it.
7 years ago
2
LordVendingMachine
The story seems very interesting and it has alot of potential.If the story hasn't really started so am pretty hyped too see how he is going to write it.
6 years ago
1
GreenSkull
i dont know what to say but i know this when i reading this chapters i cant understand what year is it or whats going on when i am reading the chapter. I thinking โoh maybe they will fight nowโ but when i go onether chapter no fight and chapter starting like this he is elewen now?..? i cant understand did you deleted some chapter ?
Hi author here, till chapter 9 I will try to lay down the foundation for mc and after that I will start to develop character and world. Please try and bear with the writing. As for Indian characters, i am an indian and would like to promote the culture of India( I really dont have much knowledge of chinese culture) thank you, and appreciate you guy's viewership.
I don't understand all the bad reviews, most of u didn't even read the story before commenting. The author himself said he is still a noob and will make some mistakes, so cut him some slack people, the author has some good idea, don't let it go to waste.
Very interesting and unique novel...keep it up .just do not quit halfway.also plz explain more in world background ...................................................................................................๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
hi author here. Sorry for such a mess up. I assure you this story is even better than last time. please do support me by reading this again as i commit myself to atleast 1 chap update
Reveal Spoiler
Let's see how that ***** shweta brags now huh. Absolutely loving this novel, hopefully you can go all out in production after your exams thanks for the great story
5 star for u now give me more updates ................... .................... ..................... .. . YDysfzufxfuxgjgjgjxjfhffjxzfhydzzfhzfxjggcjgcjhfxfhxfhxfhfjfjxgcgjgxj .. .... .
**Brutal Mode** Engaged Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they canโt possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building and ass-kicking of arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story. . Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait Wait. Let me guess his cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend. Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai. Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speak to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters. Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. Btw When does the story start?
The op name and the op summary got me.๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Mooooorreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee V ^ V ยฅ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
Sorry RebirthDao... I tried, I REALLY tried, to read your novel but you need to continue studying the English language before writing a novel in that language. Well, perhaps you are writing in your native language and translating it over to English. Whichever it is, I could only get about half way into your first chapter before I had to just stop. There are just too many grammatical errors and such, making it far too frustrating to continue on. I wish the best of luck to you.
Nice----- Nice Nice Good now sit Aaaahdhdbdh bhxbeudebudbeudbeudbeudbeudbdudbdydbdyebudbduxdbxysbzusbzusbsuz
Is there going to be an actual system? It said that he was send back to the past, thats to say the system he created wasn't created yet? Or is it like he had a second body that recreate all the events that happened in the past and the main body controls the system? Will looking forward to it.
The story seems very interesting and it has alot of potential.If the story hasn't really started so am pretty hyped too see how he is going to write it.
i dont know what to say but i know this when i reading this chapters i cant understand what year is it or whats going on when i am reading the chapter. I thinking โoh maybe they will fight nowโ but when i go onether chapter no fight and chapter starting like this he is elewen now?..? i cant understand did you deleted some chapter ?