One branch

"This is so unfair!"

"I don't want to do this anymore!"

A boy who seemed to be 13 years of age, with soft white skin and fluffy black hair sat in a large bathroom, hugging his knees. His lips were pursed.

His blinked his large blue sapphire eyes and two limpid tear trails covered his cheeks. His eyes were turning red, he seemed to be aggrieved.

He looked really cute, but the work of transition seems to have started on him, the pubescent boy sniffed and softly whined.

"I can't even cry out, I have to do this in a bathroom" His heart felt like it was bleeding, and his insides felt void. He had never felt this way before. A pain really intense, and consuming.

Suddenly, an absurd thought struck him.

"Is this what they call depression?" The boy named Lucas thought to himself.

Don't be absurd, it's because of what happened. I should have done better...

Lucas's mother had scolded him for losing a mark in a test of a language he wasn't proficient in.

He felt his mother was despotic but immediately felt guilty for his thought process.

Ah, I shouldn't do this. Stop!

He went to the mirror and saw the reflection cast in front of him. Slightly bloodshot eyes with extremely pink cheeks and nose, which looked really lovable yet forlorn at the same time.

If mom saw me, she will shout at me... Lucas remembered when his mom shouted at him for crying too much and being a nuisance.

Stop crying... Lucas...

....

A year later.

Lucas switched on his computer and was greeted with the monotonous welcome sound and frowned.

"The welcoming sound is way too basic, should I change it?"

Lucas smiled at the screen, but the consuming pain wretched his heart again. Tears ran over his face and he winced. It was mental pain, but it hurt him, terribly.

Again, he was pressured. He realized that his dream was something unattainable.

It took him so much effort to realize that music was his passion. But when he found the path, it was forcefully closed. Barred, and locked.

He felt everything was wrong.

With tears in his eyes and his heart hurt, he opened up the browser, his slender fingers tracing the keyboard.

I didn't think I would be doing this one day. He let out a sigh.

He searched... "Depression chat rooms"

He logged into one which was highly popular for its good counsels and welcoming attitude.

Lucas at first was reserved, but in a few days began to speak up his problems. Everyone was supportive and Lucas's life became good again. He listened to stories of other people and thought that life wasn't that bad.

....

He opened up the chat room again. He felt sad, but venting and listening to advise over here felt good.

He was criticized badly for his time spent on music production, and Lucas with an indignant and heavy heart came to the chatroom.

Lucas spent a lot of time on the computer, producing music and recording himself. He was incredibly talented, whenever he shared music online, it was appreciated. Soon, many people began to listen to him.

He felt it was truly enjoyable and wanted to continue doing it, but with an identity. Lucas felt that his passion could be achieved this way, but when his parents had scolded him for spending too much time on the computer, he felt terrible. He thought that his hard work and audience would mean nothing anymore.

With an anonymous identity, he vented in the chatroom.

The chatroom was silent, only a few people were online at that time. Lucas expectantly waited for a reply, hoping that someone would understand him.

Until....

A reply arrived.

"Kid. You are being arrogant. And you are probably a kid, seeing how you are acting."

Huh? Lucas's pupils shrunk. He wanted to retort but stopped.

"Do you think that crying, and feeling helpless is everything?"

Lucas instantly replied, "You don't understand my situation, don't criticize me."

"I understood all I have to. You're someone who constantly looks for help."

"You cry. You say life is unfair because you are weak. You cry, expecting someone to soothe you. Someone to comfort you. You are asking attention, bad attention"

"People who are truly willing to stand up for themselves, don't cry, because they don't expect to be comforted or pitied."

"And your issue, it's something that shouldn't bother you."

Some moderators saw the upheaval and tried to calm the situation.

Lucas stared at the screen for a few moments.

He typed a few sentences of withdrawal and how it didn't affect him and he left the chatroom and he slowly walked towards his bathroom.

He went inside, but instead of crying like usual, he looked at the mirror.

Was he fine?

A storm, in Lucas's heart, had brew up.

If I always go for help... will I ever succeed... Lucas was reminded of his teachers saying that if one couldn't stand up for themselves, they can never hope to succeed.

I am strong... I can do things...

Lucas's eyes went bloodshot and he clenched his jaw. His tears stopped. His expressions were frighteningly quick to become neutral and he seemed completely fine. The speed and ease it took him, it seemed like an inborn ability.

.... I shouldn't cry... I should not be weak....

I will not be weak.... ever....

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