Prologue - I Refuse to go to the Light!

Today was a bad day for me. Yup, a very bad day. I died when I stepped out of my home for the first time in six months. And it happened because I helped save a child who fell down a train platform. How could this be? My rare good deed ended in my unexpected death? I refuse to accept this!

I remembered how it happened. I was waiting patiently for the train to the next city like every other law-abiding citizen around me. There were not as many people as the rush hour swarm, but there was a small crowd of them. I, staying true to my anti-social tendency, stood at the fringe of this crowd.

Unfortunately for me, there was this one perfect family beside me -- a dad, a mom, and a little boy. They were such an obviously acceptable member of society, unlike me, that I was reminded of my shortcomings as I stood next to them. This was one of the reasons why I preferred to hole up in my apartment and become a shut-in. I didn't need the reminder.

So I stood there pretending to be an upstanding citizen like everyone else as I cursed this outing in my heart. As a trusted freelance software programmer, the company I had just signed on should be fine with live conferencing for discussions, like my other client. But no... they insisted to do a face-to-face meeting. I should just reject them when they insisted. How dare they asked me to step out of my house and endure public places like this? It's not like I can contribute anything extra by going to a meeting at their office.

However, I had a reputation to maintain, being a freelancer. Thus I decided to oblige them so they could be assured that I'm a real person, not a made up persona created to scam people. You could never be too sure in this digital era.

Suddenly the small boy flew past my side. Which shocked me out of my dark mood. Contrary to this polite society's and my expectations, the boy was jumping and running around in giddiness, making a scene all by himself. He was being hyperactive like he had just eaten handfuls of sugar. Maybe he did? Not like I know what parents feed little kids these days.

The boy's mother tried to stop him from being a nuisance by going down on her knees and chiding him quietly as she held his shoulders. Being a nice little person, he quietly listened to his mom and obediently stopped his antics.

For less than 5 seconds.

Then he started again, flitting away in circles, round and round his parents. He could really be too high on sugar to keep still. If he kept on being like this his parents would be forced to take action. I could see some people around me were being judgemental of this little family already. I wished they would cut this young family some slack.

Not that I was paying attention to them much. Why would I? There was no reason to. I was not envious or dissatisfied with them or anything. Though the boy's mother was really pretty. She was small and dainty, her voice sweet like an anime girl, and her round face held a resemblance to Haruhi Suzumiyan. She even had on a hairband - a blue one - to match her blue dress. The perfect waifu...

Cough, cough! A guy could dream, okay?

Anyway, this waifu was desperate to stop the boy, calling out "Kazuki-chan, Kazuki-chan," as she reached out her hands to stop him, but without much success. Such a coincidence. My name is Kazuki too. Ah, a perfect waifu calling out my name so desperately, how could I not savor it?

Cough! I was not thinking of anything inappropriate... Nothing is inappropriate in my world, anyway. Cough, cough! The air around here sure is bad today!

What I was trying to say, was that she was about to catch her son when the boy swerved away to avoid her. Unfortunately, his swerve was too wide and too fast that he was unable to stop his momentum. Like a runaway train, he went straight over the yellow line and fell off the platform onto the railway right in front of me.

With a yelp, the boy was gone. Everyone who saw him fall off cried in horror as they jumped forward. Me? I just have to be the hero today for my waifu. So I directly jumped down the from the platform after Kazuki-chan and nearly broke both my kneecaps as I fell hard on my knees. I never said I know how to land on my feet, did I? At least I had the presence of mind not to land on Kazuki-chan and crush him.

I ignored my knees that were hurting like they caught on fire and immediately reached for Kazuki-chan who was crying weakly on the rails. In one move, I grabbed him and hauled him onto the platform, right into his father's arms. Such a heroic guy, me.

The man gratefully thanked me as waifu took the boy out of his arms and carried him back behind the yellow line. But waifu didn't even glance at me as she tended to her son. Eh, she saw me diving down to save her beloved son, didn't she? Of course, everyone saw this heroic me. Maybe she's too shy she couldn't even bear to glance up.

Whatever, that's for later. Now I need to get up and away from the railway as fast as possible. But there were no handholds or footholds to help me climb up. Not even a crack could be seen in the floor. Argh. Did the contractors need to be such perfectionists? I cursed every contractor in the city for not making it easy for me to climb up.

The boy's father and other people on the platform reached and called out to me, encouraging me to hurry and get myself up as I struggled to find something to hold on to. Their hands grabbed at my hands and my clothes and even my backpack, and together they pulled and heaved, but they still failed to haul me up. Not that they were weak and feeble. It was just that my knees were hurting badly. And I was too heavy.

I was not that fat! Really! I weighed only around 70 kilos. Alright, maybe a little over 80 kilos, but there were others who were fatter! At least my body is tall, not just round. I am taller than the average Japanese, I kid you not. But not tall enough to make it onto the platform easily, sigh... The platform was a lot higher than 1 meter, I swear. If it was under 1 meter, I could have done it easily. I think. Provided that there are handholds.

As I struggled to climb up with everyone's help, I heard cries of alarm. And the warning horn. And the rattling of a heavy vehicle approaching the platform. Oh, no. I looked back and saw my worst nightmare. A train was coming towards me head on. Immediately my mind clouded. In a panic, I pushed away from everyone and turned and ran towards the platform on the opposite side.

Did I ever mention that my worst nightmare was to be run over by a train? Yeah, it's true, I was deathly afraid of being run over by a train. And so I was able to avoid being run over by a train. Phew, what a relief.

But I still died before I reached the other platform.

How...?

At first, I was clueless too. But, now that I am a ghost looking down on my charred body, I could guess. I think that with my knees hurting very badly, I had clumsily tripped on a live cable or something between the rails, and got electrocuted. Or maybe I was struck by lightning because it was lightly raining at the moment. Does lightning strike during light rain? Eh, why not? Or it could be that the electronics in my backpack and my smartphone in my pocket conspired against me to catch the high voltage from a nearby cable and electrocuted me before I knew it. So many ways to get electrocuted at a train station, huh?

Who cares about that now. I should care more about waifu. She must be anxiously waiting to thank me, her hero. Where is she?

As I look around, the train that has nearly run me over slowly leave the station. When it is finally out of the way, I can see the platform clearly. But waifu and her son are nowhere to be seen there. Only her husband remains waiting -- he bows deeply to me and calls out a thank you loudly as I watch. A few other people who are still there follow his example and bow too.

I stand there flabbergasted, thinking that maybe I should reciprocate because they look like they will not straighten up from the bowing until they get my answer. But then the train attendants come over and have everyone go and vacate the station. I'm about to follow them out too before I remember that I'm now a ghost.

I'm dead.

Now it hit hard that I am not a living person anymore. I died after I saved a boy who fell off the train platform. I did that to get waifu's attention, but contrary to my expectation, I didn't get a thank you from her at all. She didn't even glance at me. Not once. Sigh...

Why do I have to try and be her hero today? I was never that heroic to begin with. The boy's father would have jumped down too if he was closer than me. In the end, my valiant deed was not needed at all?

Sigh... I die trying to impress a married woman. What a dumb way to die.

No! I refuse to accept that! And I refuse to go to the light too, so you can go back to where you came from, Light! Yes, of course I see you! You're so bright there's no I way I wouldn't notice. But it's no use. I won't go unless I get some sort of reward for my good deed! No matter what, I did save the boy before everyone else did. I deserve to be rewarded!