A gentle stab cut short my far too shallow sleep. I still felt exhausted, far more exhausted than I had ever felt before, but just another attack came down on my side. My faint dream of falling asleep again was cruelly ended just here and now.
"Poke..." A young, female voice commented the crime. "Poke... poke..."
«A girl?!»
"What to do~ what to do~"
"..."
He answer came as sudden as unexpected: "Mouth to mouth!"
«She wants to kiss me?!»
It didn't take more than a moment for both my fears and hopes becoming reality. The girl bend over me. I could only see her shadow blocking the sunlight that was supposed to hit my closed eyelids, but that was enough to tell me what she was planning.
"Toad smooch!" She cheered.
«Toad?!»
A cold and wet something was pressed against my lips.
"HMmphh?!"
My eyes went wide open, only to discover a dark grey, almost black figure hovering over my face. It stared at me, as confused as I was myself, with its two black- and amber-colored eyes not even blinking once. Its wide mouth was slowly released from my lips, before coming down again. It stole my second kiss.
"Put it away! PUT IT AWAY!"
Before I could think twice, I had already slapped the toad away. It flew off into the sky, describing an almost perfect curve, before leaving my vision to never return again. A girl took its place, she stared at me dazzled, her bright, reddish eyes pinned on my own.
The girl was younger than me by several years, maybe thirteen or fourteen years old at most, but I could only describe her appearance as stunningly beautiful. Not only did she wore a noble looking, long, pale green dress that exposed just enough of her fair skin to neither appear too adult nor to child-like, but she had snow-white, slightly wavy hair on top of it!
«So cute~»
The beauty of the girl alone could easily have kept me captive, it nearly screamed for me to hug and pet her, but there were also cat-like ears throning on her head and a fluffy tail to boot. Later of the two was lively waving from one side to the other, revealing her gleeful mood. I was mesmerized.
«She is so cute! She is into cosplay, too! Did her sister dress her up like that?! Catgirls are the best~»
A bright chuckle could be heard coming from her. It only increased her cuteness by a ten-fold.
"I'm not a cat, big sis~"
"Big sis?" I heard myself ask. "I'm not your sis! If anything, I'm your bro!"
Her gaze wandered down my body. She slightly tilted her head and shrugged her shoulders before revealing a smile that looked rather mischievous.
"Are you sure about that," she asked. "You look like a big sis to me~"
"What are you talking abou-"
My voice froze as I began remembering a more than two meters long weapon of mass destruction slowly toppling over before embedding itself deep into my nether regions. As if through the eyes of a stranger, I watched my gaze wandering down my body.
«Nothing! There is nothing!!»
Where once had been my proud member, now a dense white mist blocked my view, possibly blurring away the gory wound I had received. All blood rushed out of my face.
"What happened to it?! What happened to my cock?!"
"What are you talking about," the girl asked, looking honestly confused. "You were alone!" Her expression turned sad. "Were you so lonely you had to get yourself an imaginary pet rooster?"
"I mean my-"
The girl cut off my words yet again: "Were you feeding it properly? You have to take care of your friends, big sis! Even when they are only in your head!"
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, one word at a time.
The girl didn't seem to be able to read my growing anger at all.
"What was his name," she asked. "Maybe we can search for it together? Was it Bob? I would name my rooster Bob! It is a great name!"
Before I could even answer, she had brought her hands to her mouth as if she was trying to increase the volume of her angelic voice.
"Bob!" She called. "Bob! Where are you?! Come back! He looks sorry already!"
I felt a vein popping on my forehead.
"You stupid brat!" I roared. "Did you do this to me?!"
"The fog?" She looked at me with innocent eyes. "Of course I did! It looked so gross!"
"Gross..."
"Yes!" She confirmed before using both of her hands to describe what hat happened. "The rafter fell down and - WHAMMM! - crashed into the ground. You looked like you had seen a flying cow!"
"..."
"The beam slowly toppled over, as if somebody had pushed it - I didn't! - and - POW! - crashed into you! It went SPLASH! and there was blood everywhere! It was so nasty!"
A disgusted expression grew on her face. I could even see her face change in color, this, however, couldn't cover up how lively she had explained the end of my manhood. My justified anger slowly turned into hatred.
"You. Filthy. Bitch."
"But big sis! I'm a fox!" Her expression brightened up slightly.
"Who cares about that!? Did or didn't you push that beam?!"
Her expression turned sour, she looked hurt even. "You are a big meanie! If I did it, you would deserve it! Totally!"
I felt my fingers tearing into the flesh of my palms. My hands burned in pain as I struggled to force words to pass my lips which were quivering in anger.
«This brat! She killed me! She totally did it!»
"What have I ever done to you!?"
"You destroyed my shrine! You didn't even say sorry once! You even mingled weird stuff into my offerings!
"Your shrine? Your offerings?"
It was only now that I realized my grave mistake. I didn't know this girl, I had never met her in school nor seen her walking on the streets. She clearly wasn't one of the villagers, as I would certainly know about such a stunning, young beauty hiding amongst them.
«A goddess?»
"Do you feel sorry now? Apologize!"
"You really killed me just because I was a little bit disrespectful?"
The girl avoided my eyes. She clearly felt guilty, or at least tried to fake a guilty conscience. Her voice came out barely audible.
"It is not like I would want you to die."
«What the fuck? She is playing tsundere now?»
"Aren't you enjoying yourself a little bit too much!? What are you going to do about it? I died! You killed me!"
"I'm sorry, you know?"
She really seemed to feel bad about what happened to me, but that feeling clearly paled against the enjoyment she had gained out of our one-sided conversation. She was having fun, even though she wasn't admitting it.
"You saying sorry is worth nothing! Bring me back home!"
Her answer came instantly: "I cannot do that!"
"You are a goddess!"
"But big sis! Those guys already buried you!"
"They buried- I AM NOT YOUR BIG SIS!"
"That one girl was crying so bitterly when she came here..."
"What? Mira was?"
"They told her you died while playing with yourself! She was so dejected! I hope she gets better soon. She seemed like a nice girl..."
"She thinks I died masturbating?!"
"They found you with your little friend crushed, in midst of wrappers of condoms and with pulled down pants."
"Pulled down pants?! I didn't-"
"... couldn't resist. "
"WHAT!?"
«Mira thinks I died like that?! This is how she will remember me? As a filthy pervert beating his meat right next to a shrine?»
"I won't accept this! I will never accept this!"
"But you can't change-"
"It was you! You ruined everything! Do something about it! Now!"
"I am willing to repent! I will make up for it!"
"Make up for it? How are you going to do that!?"
She looked at me, trying her best to hide her wide smile.
"What do you think about being reborn into another world?"
⊱————- Extra ————-⊰
???: Pulling down pants~ Pulling down pants~
Riku: What the hell are you doing to my- STOP!!
???: One, two, pull! One, two pull!
Riku: Stop it! Stop it at once!
???: One, two, pull!
Riku: NOOOO!!